All Comments on 'The Guest Room'

Super hot, especially for a first story! Loved the flooding the panties detail. Looking forward to more from you.

What a great story! It really pulled me along for the ride. Well written and just the right pace of narrative. Thanks for sharing.

Great first story! I hope you plan to keep writing here.

Hi Lily:

Believable, cute, hot, fun to read and probably auto-biographical!!

:-)

I look forward to future stories.

Thank you, I am grateful,, and I am sure other (perhaps shyer) readers feel the same way!!

REALLY amazing, EVEN though it is your first!

Amazingly sexy and erotic story by newbie. Beautifully describes the meeting and love making of two strangers. Hopefully there will be another chapter by this refreshing writer.

Wonderful story! Excellent, excellent, writing! Please, please, keep writing and posting here. I could keep reading your work for hours.

Bravo - Great story with likable characters, I hope there are more adventures to be posted soon.

One of the best stories I’ve read in a while. Please write more..

Yeah. I'm in with the positive vibes on the story.

Hope your planning on writing what happens 45 mins later. I would like to read that.x

"I really think it's important that you hear me scream your name tonight."

Hot damn, girl, you can write. From the driven, nervous intensity of the inner monologue as she torments herself with her shyness, to the nicely managed interchange with David, to the express train finale (and the delightful understatement I've quoted above, so primly said that I laughed), this piece is wonderful. A bright little jewel.

My only advice would be slightly shorter paragraphs, give readers more white space. Even though the longer paras gave an intensity during the interior monologue that worked, remember many readers use small devices with small screens.

Also, resist the temptation to continue this story. This piece is a perfect little microcosm that stands beautifully by itself, it's self-contained, it's complete. You've got a very good eye for observation and detail, to capture the human condition, and to tell a crisp little story at the same time. Use it. Stretch your legs with more short pieces like this, really learn your chops as a writer, then go for something really ambitious.

You're a rare thing on Lit, very rare. You're already a writer, so for everyone's sake, keep writing. You've got a gift, that's for sure.

Well done! A brilliant story. Hopefully there will be sequels.

well done, erotic! keep it up

B

So well written! And HOT!!

Thank you for the intriguing, exciting story. Well done!

Very well written first story! I hope that you will continue to write more.

Very well done.

Very hot! I loved the pacing of the story, and the dialog is perfect (especially the dirty talk!).

I luuuuuv this bitch

This was hot! Keep writing, please...

A well written story. Thank you

This is a really great work. I would love a guy like David for a one- night stand. So caring and tender. Absolutely nailed it.

This isn’t the genre of story I usually read, but if this is anything to go by, I need to broaden my horizons.

The descriptions in this story are exquisite, and the way you bring the character’s demeanour and personality to life early on is brilliant. It’s great to see a deeper exploration of the idea that “it’s always the quiet ones”.

My personal highlight was the moment where she senses him losing his cool as he caresses her breasts, and how much it means to her that she can have this effect on him.

Enjoyable! Sent you some tips.

Thx for the read.

Excellent! Was it autobiography?

Well done...nice build up but with the naughtiness it needs. Looking forward to more

Really smooth transition with build up. Anticipation was elevated by word choices and deliberate short and sweet dialogue. Keep creating and writing!

I loved it. Nice build up, nice climax, so well written. I hope there's a sequel

Well written, and an enjoyable take from a female point of view. Also relatable, I know the feeling of being shy and a wall flower at parties. Nice work.

Really enjoyed this short story. As so many others have said, the pacing and buildup really set stage for the intimate part. As someone who is pretty introverted, I could really relate to "Lilly's" anxiety and self doubt at the party — you nailed that really well IMO.

Perhaps what I enjoyed the most about the story is the attitude that yes; females too have the same sexual needs as men and have the freedom to desire one-night sex — and should reach and grab the right to do so. This is a message that has been long in coming in the USA. So, maybe we're approaching the time of no more "slut shaming", eh? Congratulations for your success on this story!

That is a guy who knows how to please and does not care about performance. Nice!!!!!!!!

Yet another home run Lily. Just enough background to develop the characters and the slow building sex, mmm, good stuff.

Loved the element of the couple in the hallway too, nice touch ;->

5 stars

I agree with the advise below, writing a follow up would not really be a good thing for a story like this, as much as everyone would want to read it.

Sexy David needs sexy chest hair -- and maybe a treasure trails for those sexy abs!

It was good, got pulled right into identifying with "Lily"...5*****

Delightful story. We all have some Lily inside us, don't we? Five enthusiastic stars! ~~ JB Edwards

You got me. I enjoyed it. Very sexy!

HOT!

This was a great find!

I like the premise; a shy woman 'not' flirting across a crowded room. A man savvy and bold enough to know what she really wants. An important lesson -- that the quiet one in the corner can have a cone 8 furnace burning.

Something I would like to see in a future story, an equally shy guy, one who would never say, "Do you need to ride my cock, baby?" And maybe not the story of the stone fox who lights his fire. Maybe two equally shy people who slowly dare try out their fantasies.

An exceptionally erotic treat!

Very passionate story, I don't know how much of the author is poured over the girl, but I'm afflicted to see her shyness gripping her the first part of the story. I don't like how much "you're an idiot"s are being thrown around there.

The highlights for me were "He wants to make me feel good. He will take care of me." and "my pussy clamps around him", both make me feel passionate about her and are a very nice peaking to the build up the story took.

You lost me at "Maybe they're fighting because she saw him checking you out at the party before I got to you." - I don't know what this is in there, doesn't match neither of the characters.

I think the fear of being spotted during sex is something remarkably relatable, very close to teen love, well woven into the shyness of her.

The guy was witty and sounded like he knew what he was doing, although it seems unlikely he'd orgasm and promptly went with plans and away... Men are usually shut down after a proper orgasm, more prone to relax, sometimes sleep even...

Still, great story, well written and executed!

Nice!

Lovely story, we enjoyed it 😉

It can be exhausting to go chasing after the proverbial David, but this was a true treat to experience the satisfaction that Lily so wanted. The dirty talk, possibility of being caught, the restraint to slowly build up sex to the frantic pace she wanted...just, yes. You even included a condom and consent (making both items hot). Ignore any criticisms you received, even if well-meaning, you have achieved perfection in this reader's eyes.

Sensational. One of the hottest two-pagers on Lit. That's quite a feat, in my eyes. You're obviously an actual female, and you know what you want (and that in itself is hot as fuck).

5 stars and a well deserved follow.

God that is so hot, I didn't want it to end. I agree with dasgoodshit, it's the the hottest two page story on literotica.

Deserves 10*

A super short! Presumably they’ll chat each other up at some stage and dirk out if they have a future, and I hope they do.

Lily has a naughty mind and I love it. Great story with more to cum???