All Comments on 'The Guitar Player Ch. 03'

Too slow a progress…I am losing interest !!!

Nice conception of a story. Seems like Robbie can't catch a break. First wife screws him over, his cheating second wife really fucks him over by cheating and stealing HIS SONGS. The lawyers are going to have a field day. But there is a silver linings I see coming. He's going to team up with Dawn and become a bigger star than that bitch Tanya. And I feel that he will get some measure of payback on his former manager, Alex, who probably instigated the whole breakup... Really well conceived storyline that keeps one rooting for Robbie and hoping that karma will come to Tanya and Alex. Well done. Waiting for the next chapter. Good job.

Great stuff, this story is really humming, pun intended.

Well

So Tanya was just in it for the glory. Fucking cunt. I think I know where you're going, so please continue the fine work.

Five Stars

Man, this really needed to have larger chapters. These byte-sized entries barely get going before coming to a screeching halt. Just realised that the episodic format in general is seriously annoying when it's unnecessary.

5* -- This is starting to get good. It's pretty LW cliche so far, but you've opened up a great storyline with the betrayal and new girl... looking forward to more.

2 pages?

You do not need to do that stuff. You could have made it for him to be stymied and slow in making his decisions but dumping him into the whiskey bottle does not reflect well on your story

Shoulda split them different, now we know the wife he abandoned in the first chapter is a widow

I like how you've developed the dimensions of human drama and relationships. The plot has nice twists that keep me reading. You paint very identifiable characters without going overboard with personal details. And did I mention controlled tension as the plot unfolded?? Nicely done. Looking forward to the next installment.

I'm enjoying the story so far, Mr. Webb. I look forward to the next chapter.

It's getting there

Good story!

5

Your headed in the right direction. So far I liked it a lot. Keep up the good work.

Your story is getting better although it is a little tiresome reading how EVERY single love interest has betrayed him.

Really enjoying this story so far. I’m looking forward to seeing where you take me next.

To short. Left me wanting more though

I take it that the songs are in her luggage that she won't be getting.

Just upload all the rest already!!!!

wuth this short and finsh it

Just two lit pages at a time? Sorry, but that means the best you can score from me is a four. It's aggravating to read such a small amount at a time. Story is good, but way too many tiny chapters... so your score drops.

I guess 3rd times the charm with Dawn lol

Finish the story your drawing it put too longer

This guy is a clueless dumbass! Done with this longwinded drivel that is going nowhere!

Thanks for writing. It's a fun story and an interesting premise (abandoned wife reading husband's journal) but this is getting a little long in the tooth. What's up with the most recent ex wife?

Hurry up with the next chapters

Hurt your story. Just post the whole damn thing.

How about putting two chapters together so we have more of a read then this piss poor portions of a very good story. 2 pages is shit story telling

While the story is good...I can't stand the chapters. This could have easily been done in 2 or 3 parts at most unless the last 3 part are longer than 4 pages each. But at the very least the first 3 parts could have been uploaded in one part with no issue. It's like watching a tv show that gets to the good part in 10 minutes and ends until the next week.

This really has potential

Nice plot. I am just curious what’s coming next.

Next chapter pretty please!

Payback is coming and I can hardly wait.

TK

What a dumpster again he get fucked over just because he have to be the trusting husband? Bullshit i rather be paranoid after the first dirvoce. And whats with this theme in these stories that cheated on husbands can only get baby mama or not so good looking partner after the dirvoce? It like the bad guys are favored just like in court's

Nice.

Fine writing and entertaining.

Looking forward to the revenge on the bitch.

Top ratings from me.

So far so good just wish the chapters were more than two pages.

Finally starting to get interesting. 3 stars max for dripping this story out like chinese water torture!

Okay. Now you've got my attention.

1 star because you keep posting this in short spurts that don't qualify as shit.

You're dragging this out painfully. You have posted 3 chapters which would have filled four or five pages on Lit. We know he's going to record his songs with the new girl before his wife can get them recorded. Once you let the cat out of the bag, or the revenge out of the plot, you need to chase it through to the end. You're hurting your score and reputation posting this way. You also dropped first person for a paragraph and referred to Robbie saying something rather than "I said" something.

Too short. Reads too much like a news report.

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Only thing saving it now is that Tanya needs to be burned. Bad.

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Barely 3 ***

Not enough substance in your very short pages. Interesting story but don’t drag it out.

What an evil conniving little bitch and Tanya sucks too. Getting accused of abuse is pretty much unshakable once ur wife or gf makes that claim, so I'm really curious about how ur going to have our mc clear his name and keep his rightful content. Also furious that ya didn't release this story in one sitting cuz now I gotta wait and anticipate the next chapter, which is also pretty evil.

I like where it's going

bored me. As soon as she went on TV stating the abuse and he knows of the theft of songs you would think he would get a lawyer and go for slander or libel or whatever it is when someone lies and damages you. Also fight for the songs and hold it up in court so long they cannot use them or cut an album.

God I love this series. Love the plot progression and the characters you've created react in an identifiable and meaningful way. Probably your best work to date. Thanks for the ride and look forward to the next one...5*

It's getting bettter!!

Good story, well written but sliced up far to short, so I've sliced up my stars as well!

So freaking painful. Robbie is a dull character, hard to empathize with.

I'm patient, so the short chapters don't bother me. It builds the intrigue. Looking forward to seeing his new songs and others premier on YouTube before Tanya and Todd can get to the studio!!! Even better if all his songs are in her locked up luggage. Looking forward to the back story of what happened after 24 years of marriage to ... who??? 5 *****

Good story but these short chapters are sucking the life out of your good story.

Your protagonist needs to stay in NY long enough to find out just how badly he has misjudged the people. And he needs to read some history to at least find out why the "woke" mentality about women and abuse is an overreaction to years and years and years of abused women being ignored. Payback's a bitch and it ain't always the guilty who suffer from it.

Still a good setup for some nice BTB fun I suspect you have coming.

Burn Tonya, burn Todd, burn Greg...burn, burn, burn. All must burn! Fire, hot flaming, cinders of retribution! he he, hah, huahhh ha, ha Ha HA HAH HAH HAAAA.... Sorry...got a bit carried away...won't happen again.

Enjoying the story… like everyone else, I wish that each chapter was longer! LOL. That’s ‘cause we NEED to know what happens (OK, maybe we have an idea, but we’re not sure, and the revenge will be delicious).

Don’t pay too much attention to the nay-sayers. Just remember the pay check that you will get for writing the story. Oops — forgot, authors on this site don’t get paychecks, they have to survive on the praise and appreciation that the readers give them.

So a BIG thank you for your story!

PostScriptor

The story has potential. I think I can see where it's going but the intensity of the burn is a mystery that will bring me back.

To dragged out. You could have completed this story already. It’s good and interesting but the separation and days gone by 😔 hurt.

10 minute episodes don't cut it, please upload the rest in one.

Given the opening either his 3rd wife cheated on him too or he's abandoned her cos he's been killed being a dumbass

Oh my fuckung god please finish this fucking story already! Jeez. This is the 3rd chapter and still nothing. How many chapters is this story?. I'm asking cause I'll stop reading until it's totally complete. 2 pages here 2 pages there. Come on!. I hate when writer's drag a story. I rather you would've wrote the whole chapter in one go. This irks me

Just an FYI about the real world. The original song writer has an exclusive right to publish or release the first sound recording of a song. After that, anyone can record the song if they pay the compulsory licensing fee. That means Tanya couldn't record the songs first without Robbie's permission. For story purposes I guess Todd could have gotten Robbie to sign something granting Tanya a blanket mechanical license to record his songs?

Will give it 3 stars for now Good start! Will give it more, if you don't drag it out. 2 pages per chapter?

too short.....bring out 4 or 5 pages at a time or don't bother

The story is coming together, looking forward to the next chapter

I agree with the previous comments as the story, while engaging, dragging it out as you have hurts the score and your readers. Having said that it your story so do as you wish….

He's in New York City. I want to repeat that. He's in New York City. His wife has just stolen the songs he wrote, hit him with a divorce petition citing abuse, got a restraining order, and then announced, on the news that she was going to cut a new album to be followed by a tour. Again, while he is sitting in a hotel room in Manhattan, in New York City-the media capital of the United States.

Am I the only one that figured this out?

Call Alex. Get him to contact any media people he knew from his years as a manager. Offer one of the TV networks an interview with Robbie about Tanya's salacious claims. Toss in the offer of having Robbie play a few of his new songs during the interview. You might not get the Today Show, but Entertainment Today might pick it up. In the interview, hit the heartstrings. Talk about grandpa teaching you to play guitar. Let your southern accent come out.

Tell how he always said, "Don't chase the shallow dream of fame, play because you love it." Describe how you met your wife while looking for work, how you fell in love, and worked together to build a career you both loved. How she fell out of love with you and in love with fame-just like old grandpa warned you about. How your old hometown family attorney, who you set up with clients because you trusted him, set up the divorce papers, abuse allegations and restraining order. How that broke your heart and would devastate your parents that they ever trusted that man. How you have no idea what he, an old family friend, would do to his other clients if he would do it to you. Then strum a few bars or lines from your new songs while talking about how Tanya stole them out of the old battered box you kept them in. How you planned to give her the rights to your songs as a ten year anniversary gift but how she broke your heart by stealing them from you instead. That's what a guy in his position, being in the entertainment industry, would do.

Nope. He goes to Central Park and finds the cliched LW young, down on her luck, single mother who he will rescue, handing her cash, proving he is the chivalric, white knight. Can you say, "Trite and formulaic." I'm sure you can

Whatever. I'll read the rest. More out of curiosity than any hope this story will be any good in the end

I like the story but 2 page chapters are really irritating! Combine onro.fewer.chapters. 4 stars for the short chapters.

He couldn’t get another flight out of NY for 2 1/2 days? Or, if not, rent a damn car and get his ass back to Atlanta?

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Never mind….story is getting good. Still too much narration and not enough dialog — especially between him and Tanya. But I like where this seems to be heading. I sure as hell hope that the woman reading this journal in the first paragraph of Ch 1 is Tanya and not Dawn…….

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Already forgot the previous two. Kind of like reading cliff notes. Also slightly unbelievable since any judge would issue an injunction stopping release until ownership rights are decided. Especially in a divorce.

you are doing a story about transcendence. I like stories about people becoming better.

Might then move the narrative to Dawn....

Green-something

You know it's a good story when you cuss at the end of a chapter.

Has anyone else forgotten that this is Robbie’s condensed journal as read posthumously by someone else? At first I thought it would be Tanya, who thought he never knew about her shenanigans. Now, I presume it is a grieving Dawn, the Central Park street musician. We’ll see. The author has gone an awfully long time without referring back to this individual! Kind of a cheap trick. Oops, I meant cheap pluck of the heartstrings!

I agree with Dittybopper. But I disagree with moving the narrative to another character. If he'd hustled out of NY, he'd never have met the new girl...remember he was dinking and mad. Also, he was turning the knife on the "corporation" to pay the room charges. Please, keep doing what you're doing if only for me!

Love it please write more

I like the comment from @SplitGeode66.

In a book, short chapters sometimes help keep the reader from leaving in the middle of the wrong place. On a site such as this one, to the reader short chapters are annoying more than anything else. The reader may be in suspense but has no way of learning what happens next, doesn't know if or even when the next chapter will come (there are plenty of unfinished stories on literotica) and by the time the next chapter comes the reader won't remember everything. Some will read on without remembering anything, it will all come back to some, some will reread earlier chapters and some will just stop reading.

At least when it happens in a tv series we know to come back the next day, or the next week at the same time on the same day. Here we don't know when, we can't be sure about if and if we do get a continuation we don't know if we'll remember the details from earlier.

Sorry to go on so long. It is my long-winded way of suggesting that while short chapters may work in some settings, it is just as likely to be counterproductive in this one. Imo if the chapter isn't close to the limit of readers' ability to get through it in a sitting, it isn't ready to end.

3 stars from me, and I think I'm being generous. This is a website devoted to erotica ... where is the erotica? This shouldn't be under the Loving Wives category; rather, it belongs in the Non-Erotic category. And then you had to go and make this a "legal" story when you're apparently not an attorney. "LLC" does NOT stand for "Limited Liability Corporation"--it stands for "Limited Liability Company" .. a form of partnership--not a corporation. Then there is the over-used cliché of the husband being kicked out of the house/recording studio simply because the wife files for divorce? It doesn't work that way, as other attorney/commenters have repeatedly stated. Please stick to whatever it is you do for a living and write about what you know about. If you aren't an attorney, please avoid writing a story with legal elements--it's not necessary and it's not erotic.

Gotta Love where this a goin'.

x

I up to your games ! You put out just enough each day to keep us interested ! WAY TO GO ! Keep the story coming .

Too short, just starts to get interesting then stops.

Still not a very good story. He's an idiot, his friends are idiots, nothing in this even remotely draws me into it. But I thought I'd give it one more shot as I wadded through the previous bowl of molasses. Wish I hadnt bothered.

Damn, finished too quickly. I hope he screws Tanya and Todd over. But this seems to be heading towards a sad finish. I hope not.

5/5

Check her luggage.

This is so o o going to make them a team. With Dawn's voice and Robbie's voice, his guitar skills and song writing skills to go along with knowing the business, what a tandem! They will hit it high. And, I think that daughter is going to be the GLUE.

I like where you are taking the reader and can only hope that you get there before we need to read a fourth or fifth chapter to get to the end of the story. Someone else said it but why the hell didn't you turn in your airline ticket and rent a car. New York City to Nashville is 10 may be 12 hours tops. Hell, with TSA delays you might get there before they can decide where to spend the night. IF your house is empty, go in and get what you want then lock it up and let them wonder where the hell all the good stuff disappeared with you waiting for your flight.

sure hope he burns the bitch and his so called friend and the lawyer right to the ground they deserve everything he can pile on them

I see Robbie taking Dawn on a kind of a Star is Born trip and destroying Tanya, Todd, and Greg in the process. Robbie is going to write a huge hit that fits Dawn's voice perfectly, and hopefully bring this great story to a fitting end.

Can’t wait for the attention hog to get slaughtered.

Pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered.......a C talent making it to B status because of a better talent. Oh this is not going to end well for whore and lover boy.

Not only is this story boring and slow but it's pathetically stupid. At somebody else pointed out this Robbie who apparently has all the intelligence of a wet paper bag.... Miss the signs completely about his wife.... and doesn't realize that New York City is the media capital of the world.

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Instead this fucking retard of a man is complaining that New York City is dirty and smelly.... And that the people are rude.

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It's clear that the author stony Web has never been to New York City.

5 stars - I liked this chapter.

I also dislike being anywhere in the USA, other than to land for fuel.

Barstohboy

Of course Robbie could have left NYC and still met the down on her luck single mom. The author could have written it so Robbie saves her from some "rough looking guys" at a gas station. He buys her and her daughter a meal at a local diner. Then she joins him as he continues to drive home. This a standard Loving Wives plot device.

In real life it's my experience that it takes two to three years to find a replacement for the woman who cheated on you. In Literotica, it's rarely longer than a week.

The story gets even more stupid because Robbie has $600,000 to use. Why isn't he on the phone to every person he knows telling them about his wife's betrayal. Then he would be calling a high priced lawyer to counter file and immediately squash the restraining order. That's the real world. In StoneyWebb's world, Robbie cries like a little baby, makes two phone calls, then goes to the park. StoneyWebb's world is a silly one.

Interesting angle; Robbie is facing a new Dawn in his life so now we get to see how is troubles are faced.

I think I like where it’s headed. But I can’t figure out how the opening scene, Robbie’s wife lamenting his absence, reading his journals. Tanya doesn’t fit that picture.

The direction of the story is moving to romance! Hopefully he'll get the whole package, wife with daughter and an excellent singer. If that goes well. Well told and I'm looking forward to the sequel!

@Mrhappy4aa, it's not Alex, it's Todd. Alex is helping him.

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I'm a little puzzled. We're halfway through the story, and unless it's Dawn, he hasn't even met the woman who will be his wife for 24 years.

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@Affecteffect Re: Songs - Good thought on that, but wouldn't she and Todd have already realized that?

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Why is there a recap of a story that's only five days old?

it seems author hates california (previous story) and new york too. I wonder what trumpian redneck paradise he hails from...

oh, and the story is just dumb. *

Doing great so far

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This is really good...

Boy, I would really be hurt if my wife did something like that to me. But probably not as badly as my ex wife’s new boyfriend would be. In fact, if he didn’t learn to fly, soon, I’m afraid he might be falling down a staircase in the future. Maybe several. Over and over.

Good story going, Stoney, can’t wait for the next chapter.

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Call the police and report the stolen songs? Demand that she be examined by a doctor for signs of abuse?

I new his wife was trouble the minute he met her in the bar got good feeling she’s gonna end up on her ass in whole world of trouble

Plenty of mediocre singers in the real world making A list money. Looks, personality, auto tune, studio effects and most importantly good publicity/marketing are all that's needed if you can hold a note. X-factor and Idol have proven that many times over.

That he's had the forethought to financially protect himself makes me wonder how he can be so clueless elswhere. As his attorney 'friend' was also their business attorney, he couldn't have represented either in a divorce as it would be a clear conflict of interest.