The Guitar Player Ch. 05

Once again, all errors our mine. I read the comments, and I do take them to heart. Sometimes, however, I think the person making the comment has missed the point of the story or has gotten too bogged down in little details. I write stories that I would like to read, and I realize that they won't appeal to everyone. Nevertheless, I will continue to try and write a story that everyone will like. Yes, I know it is a fool's errand.

Throughout most of my career, I never wanted to be a celebrity. That's why I always let my wife, Tanya, be the face of our group. I never considered myself an entertainer either. To me, I was just a guitar player who also liked to sing. If people wanted to listen to me, that was great, but I was just as happy playing and singing by myself. But then my wife tried to destroy me personally, professionally, and financially.

Now I was engaged in an all-out struggle to seek revenge. Tanya had betrayed me, humiliated me, and attempted to destroy my career. If that wasn't bad enough, she also had attempted to cripple me financially and had stolen all of the original copies of songs that I had written. Okay, a lot of the songs weren't all that great, but they were mine. And some of those songs had great sentimental value to me. Plus, I felt certain that the two newest songs I'd written were very good.

I have learned over the years that if you work at something long enough, you usually get better. And that was what had happened with my songwriting. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, the songs I was writing now were some of the best of my career, and they would get even better.

The flight from New York to Atlanta was a little less than two hours. Still, I was going crazy just sitting there with my mind going over the hundreds of things I had to get done to begin my quest for revenge. To quiet my anxiety, I started writing a new song. By the time we reached Atlanta, I had a rough draft for two new ones -- Cheating was always in your heart and Desperate nights but bright tomorrows.

Once back in Atlanta, I decided that it would be best to work away from the city. I arranged for Dawn, Allison, and Claire to stay with my parents in Tifton. I originally thought about renting an apartment large enough for the four of us. But I thought that would appear too creepy. So, I rented a small apartment for myself not too far from my parent's house.

My mom was thrilled with the idea; my dad not so much. Still, he didn't put much of fuss at all. My mom and Claire became instant friends, and they both loved taking care of Allison. However, as much attention as the two older women showered on Allison, she took a real shine to my dad. Even though he wouldn't admit it, they had bonded. More times than not, when I would go to visit, Dad would be playing some game with Allison or reading her a book, or she would just be sitting in his lap while he was telling her stories.

Two days after I got Dawn and her family settled, I brought her in a makeshift studio I had thrown together in a rented office. I brought in an instrument teacher to help Dawn learn to play the guitar better. I also brought in a voice coach to help develop her singing style. There were lawyers to meet with, costumes decided on, even a dramatic coach to help Dawn with her stage presence. I was draining my savings, but I didn't care. I drove everyone hard, including myself. But as hard we all worked, no one worked harder than Dawn. She would practice her guitar until her fingers would bleed. Then Dawn would put band-aids on and continue practicing. After a couple of months, she became a fairly good player. Dawn would never be a great guitarist, but she was still pretty good.

Finally, when I thought we had progressed significantly, I booked time in an Atlanta studio. I specifically avoided the studio that Tanya and I had used. I could have gone back to that studio as the restraining order had been lifted. But to me, the people in that studio knew that Tanya was cheating and never said a word. They were dead to me.

While I was working with Dawn to fine-tune our act, the divorce was proceeding. The squabble over the business was bogged down with the lawyers and accountants. I didn't pay any attention to either.

Even though I wouldn't use the old studio, I called the owner and told him why I wasn't returning. I did that because I wanted Tanya to know how much I knew about her betrayal and that there would be consequences. However, when we arrived for our first recording session at the new studio, I thought all my plans would end before they even began. Dawn was absolutely terrified when I put her in front of a microphone for the first time. She would freeze up every time we'd try to record something. Fortunately, my mom, Claire, and Allison had come with us.

After two hours of accomplishing nothing, I was becoming totally frustrated. I didn't know what to do. Finally, I called a halt and told everyone to take an early lunch. I was desperate to get something recorded because the studio was costing a lot of money with the backup musicians and everything. So far, we had nothing. While the musicians were getting ready to put away their instruments, Allison wandered in. She leaned her head against her mother's shoulder.

"Aren't you going to sing, mommy," she asked with her eyes filled with worry.

Dawn looked down at her daughter's questioning eyes. She smiled and nodded. "I'm going to sing right now, baby."

With that, Dawn stood up and walked up to the microphone. I signaled to the musicians to pick up their instruments. Then I motioned to the control personnel to get ready. Dawn looked over at me, smiled, and nodded. The recording session then began in earnest. It took several hours, but we managed to record the two songs I had written on the flight back. Alex released them immediately with as much fanfare as he could rally. The songs did reasonably well with Desperate nights but bright tomorrows making it to number twelve. Cheating was always in your heart, however, only made it to number nineteen. These two new songs were just to let the public know that my new act was for real. Alex was exceedingly pleased because the new songs accomplished that and more.

Tanya, on the other hand, had launched her solo career with a great flourish. There were stories all over the entertainment media, and Tanya made several television appearances. She was smart enough not to push the abuse accusations, saying only that people had different opinions about what constituted abuse. However, the thing that still burned at my soul was that Tanya would use the songs she had stolen from me, and there was nothing I could do about it. But the thought that she had probably destroyed my original copies made me even angrier. I had written one of those songs for my grandfather. It wasn't very good, but my granddaddy had tears in his eyes the first time I played it for him.

Most people who knew Tanya well understood that her one consuming goal in life was to become a superstar. And I will give Tanya credit; she was working her ass off to accomplish her dream. However, what Tanya and Todd didn't realize was that while I was building up my new career, I was doing everything I could to torpedo hers. Mostly, I had people putting out true and fictitious rumors about Tanya, anything to tarnish her image. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that my plans would fail miserably. So, I drove everyone even harder.

Dawn was just raw talent, but I saw great potential. Alex had agreed wholeheartedly after viewing the news report of us in Central Park on Youtube. I felt blessed that he had decided to come out of retirement to manage Dawn and me.

The legal battles had turned into a mess. I only paid attention to what was happening when the lawyers insisted. Aside from the restraining order being lifted and the court granting me limited access to the revenues from Tanya's and my old company, I stopped caring. I knew that eventually; the divorce would be granted and the business problems sorted out. But right then, all I was interested in was revenge. The rumors I had put out were having a minor impact on Tanya's career. But in truth, the limitations of Tanya's ability were what was really holding her back. Still, for me, I had to be a much bigger success than her because only then would I feel like I had truly gotten my revenge. Only then would Tanya realize that I hadn't been holding her back; she had been holding me back. To Tanya, I knew that would be a crushing blow.

Like I mentioned, I had never considered myself a celebrity. At our best, I thought Tanya and I were middling B-level singers. We opened for the superstars, played in medium venues with other groups, and headlined in smaller places. But throughout our career together, Tanya was the one our fans wanted to see, not me. But even so, Dawn appeared to be totally intimidated by me. It made it hard to offer any corrections to what she was doing. Finally, I semi-lost it one morning in the studio.

After telling Dawn that she was too stiff and to let her body sway with the music, tears began to flow down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilder," she said with her lips trembling. "I'll do better."

Dawn, PLEASE!" I said through gritted teeth. "Don't call me Mr. Wilder.

This made matters worse as Dawn's whole body seemed to tremble now with more tears flowing.

"What, what should I call you?" she asked through a shaky sob.

"Call me Robbie or "hey you" or shithead. I answer to all those names. Just don't call me Mr. Wilder. That's my dad."

"What's an ithead?" Allison asked from the corner of the studio where she had been coloring.

I groaned. "Oh boy, I've really stuck my foot in my mouth," I said as I looked at Allison and then down at my shoes. "And these particular shoes taste terrible. I'm sorry, Dawn. That won't happen again."

I was greatly relieved that instead of getting upset, Dawn stopped crying and smiled.

"What's an ithead?" Allison asked again.

"It's something I shouldn't have said," I explained to Allison. "It's something people call me when they don't like me."

Allison got up, ran to me, and hugged my leg tightly. She looked up at me with a sad expression. "No one should call you that. You're a nice man." I gave Allison a kiss on the top of her head, and she walked back to her corner to continue coloring.

I looked over at Dawn, and she nodded at me. "My daughter is right. No one should call you that."

I laughed. "I still answer to it, though."

Dawn laughed, and we went back to work. After that, she started calling me Robbie. Still, it was slow going as Dawn was still totally intimidated by just about everything. She could sing, but her stage presence was very stiff and awkward.

At the end of two months, I had filed off most of the really rough edges. The rest would have to come with time and experience. I gave Dawn a list of lines that she could offer during the show, and I would play off of those and try to make her look witty and warm.

Finally, I decided that we needed to perform to a live audience if Dawn was going to get better. So, after discussing it with Alex, we decided the best place to launch our act was where Tanya and I had begun, at Big Carl's. Alex made the arrangements, and Carl was thrilled.

To my surprise, the bar was packed that first night. I was sort of hoping for a half-full bar like it had been when I started with Tanya. Dawn was terrified and threw up shortly before we went on. I wish I could say that once Dawn was up on the stage, she relaxed. But that wasn't the case. She looked like a deer ready to bolt at any second. So, I took over and just sort of left her in the background as I talked to the crowd. I lightly touched on Tanya's and my problems. Then I made a few harmless jokes at Tanya's expense before explaining how Dawn and I met.

I painted a picture of how I had found this beautiful flower in the dirty, nasty city of New York. I told them that New Yorkers could be the coldest people in the world, but when Dawn began singing, they stopped and actually smiled.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to introduce the Song Bird of Central Park, Dawn Samuels." There was a polite amount of applause.

"Just like we did in Central Park," I said softly to Dawn as I brought her forward. Then I started playing Amazing Grace. When we finished, the room exploded in cheers. Dawn just smiled, shying, and nodded her head.

About a third of the way through our performance, Tanya and Todd suddenly appeared. We were in the middle of a song when people began murmuring and standing up to look. Finally, Tanya strutted over to a table that had been reserved for her. That prick Carl never said a word to me. When I looked over at the bar, he was standing there smirking. I smiled back at him. I couldn't be mad because he had warned me that I couldn't trust him.

Rather than finish the song, I motioned for Dawn to just stop, and I had her slide back a little. As Tanya moved forward, I realized I could use this appearance to our advantage. I'm sure that Tanya and Todd thought they would upstage us and maybe unnerve Dawn.

"Well, we are honored tonight, folks; Tanya has decided to join us," I announced to cheers from the audience. "Damn, Tanya, you certainly can suck all the air out of a room."

Tanya smiled broadly as the room cheered.

When the cheering began to die, I pointed at a table of men in the far corner of the room. "Tanya, don't you think that dress is a little conservative? I'm not sure if those guys over there can quite see your belly button."

The crowd roared with laughter. Tanya's smile didn't leave her face, nor did she back down. "Is that part of your folksy charm that I read about?"

"You would know," I said with a big grin. "You and I folksied quite a bit, didn't we? And it was fun, as I recall."

"Only in your mind," Tanya said with a chuckle. This brought a laugh from the crowd.

"Ouch," I responded, with my grin even larger. "Some might say that's mental abuse. But as I look back, maybe you're right, maybe it was all just in my mind. So, you can see my confusion as to why you're here tonight?"

Tanya turned to the audience. She was so predictable. "I just wanted to show that there are no hard feelings. Our differences will be worked out in a court of law, and regardless of anything, I wanted to wish you well on your new venture. And as long as we're talking about performances, I'd like to let your wonderful audience know that I'm kicking off my latest tour. We're starting right here in Atlanta at the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center in two weeks."

Knowing what she was doing, I pounced. "In this era of good feelings, why don't you come up here and give these people a preview of your concert? Why don't you sing one of your old songs? Folks, you'd all like to hear Tanya sing, wouldn't you?"

This was an unexpected treat for this crowd, and they responded positively. I'm sure these patrons came to see me as a curiosity. There was no doubt, in my mind, that many of them were wondering what I would do now that Tanya and I were no longer together. Plus, they didn't have to pay to get in. But now, they were going to get a semi-reunion of Tanya and me.

Of course, I had more than that planned. I whispered to Dawn that no matter what happened between Tanya and me, to ignore it all. I also told Dawn I wanted her to join in for the second song.

Knowing Tanya as I did, I was pretty sure that she wouldn't pass up the opportunity. I didn't know which songs she would want to sing. However, the one song that I did want her to sing with me was Patsy Cline's, True Love. I was also pretty sure that she wouldn't want to sing that particular song because it had been ours as a couple. But even if Tanya refused to sing it, Dawn and I would, and it would have the same effect.

After a moment's hesitation, Tanya nodded and made her way to the stage. Once she was there with a microphone in hand, I began playing Pretty Little Girl. It was not one of our hits, but it was a song that Tanya loved. Tanya even smiled at me before she began to sing.

When she finished, the crowd responded warmly. Before Tanya could do anything else, I said, "Let's do one more?" I immediately began playing True Love. Tanya looked uncertain at first but then shrugged and got ready to sing. However, when she and I began, Dawn joined in as well. This brought a roar from the crowd and a look of confusion from Tanya. As we continued to sing, I turned back and forth between Tanya and Dawn. Finally, at one point in the song, when it goes "for you, and I have a guardian angel," I turned away from Tanya and smiled warmly at Dawn.

The symbolism was clear to everyone in the room, including Tanya and Dawn. I had moved on from Tanya, and Dawn was my musical partner now. When we finished, the room was up with a roar. Tanya quickly thanked everyone and slipped away. The rest of the concert went very well except that Dawn never relaxed and never felt at ease on the stage.

The next day's reviews in the paper were very laudatory of our performance. They spoke especially of how wonderful the partnership Tanya and I once had. They lamented that we had split up. But they did write glowingly about Dawn and how she was a worthy replacement. I found this amusing because the media never paid that much attention to Tanya and me until we split up. Still, I was extremely pleased with the publicity that we had received.

I think Tanya had thought to embarrass Dawn and me, disrupt our show, and hype her new tour. She only succeeded in one of those goals. But even that limited success was short-lived. The following day, Alex announced that we would be starting a tour of our own beginning at the Roxy in downtown Atlanta on the same day as Tanya's tour would begin. Alex told me that Tanya called him as soon as she learned of our tour and bitched him out. He just laughed.

Alex didn't tell Tanya that he had booked our tour so that about eighty percent of our concerts were on the same day and in the same city as Tanya's. I kept tabs on the reviews of each of our concerts. I especially remembered the review of Tanya's Atlanta concert. It was very favorable, but the article mentioned how sad they were that Tanya and I were no longer together. And yet, when I read the review of Dawn's and my concert, it was also very favorable, but it did not mention Tanya. That had to really frost her ass.

During that first tour, Alex had been forced to book us into smaller venues. The main reason was that Alex didn't think we could fill a larger auditorium, and he wanted our tour to be successful financially. Some of the places we played barely held three hundred people. We also were the opening act for some of the bigger names in the industry. The tour lasted fourteen weeks and was exhausting.

Meanwhile, Todd had booked Tanya into the larger venues, and they had great success initially. But by the end of their tour, they weren't selling out. Todd had also turned down all offers to open for any of the big named stars.

Even though we were hustling from city to city on our tour, I stayed busy writing new material. While on the road, I finished five songs. All but one were duets. My Woman and My Lover, I sang as a solo. We started dropping the new songs into the concerts one at a time. And when we returned to Atlanta, we hit the studios and recorded a new album with all five included.

My Woman and My Lover began a steady climb up the country charts. It hit number two and stayed in the top ten for six weeks. A week after it hit number two on the country charts, it crossed over and made it to number nine on the Billboard pop chart.

It had taken almost eight months, but I would now say that Dawn and I were definitely at the top of the B-class. Even though we weren't superstars, I was pleased by our rise in the music world. During this same time, Tanya's star hadn't brightened much if at all. Still, she was doing very well, but Todd had failed to bring her to the top of the mountain or anywhere close.