All Comments on 'The Halloween Party'

I wish you had posted it over two or three days.

I get to the reveal. Abby essentially says she had done the exact same thing Jennifer was doing but had done it much longer before learning her lesson. The only difference is that Abby was single, or thought at the time she was in a relationship with Jace whereas, Jennifer was married. The semantics reveal only that Jace encouraged Abby to fornicate while Hank suspected Jennifer of fornicating but did nothing.

For Hank to forgive Abby's past so quickly and easily while dismissing Jennifer's present and ignoring her future makes him not the victim, and instead the voyuer who sees a wrong and does nothing.

I know there are readers who will say Jennifer spelled it out, M O N E Y and she did try to lie to lesson her guilt. But, Abby owns what she earned from prostitution and Hank is okay living in a home bought and paid by her illicit sex.

So, Hank recognizes the necklace but not Abby's nude body. Interesting. The fact that Abby was with a client and ended her whoring ways when Jennifer began hers is fascinating. The timeline then makes this event occurring six months prior to the Halloween party.

Abby quit her whoring ways to get what Jennifer had, but did not know it appreciate at the time. How can Hank feel anything but used?

Line up a hundred whores. Do you pick the one who regrets her actions and wants to quit and move on? Or, do you choose the one with whom you have a relationship who just started and was seduced by the money.

Well written and awesome job with the editing. I really enjoyed reading it. 5* from me.

Awesome story!! Thank you for sharing.

A little long, but a pretty good story.

Way too long

"Do you pick the one who regrets her actions and wants to quit and move on? Or, do you choose the one with whom you have a relationship who just started and was seduced by the money."

To me it's an absolute no-brainer. He loved his wife and she treated him like dogshit. Jennifer had committed to a marriage with Hank, which she destroyed with her infidelity. She started an affair with Richard, willingly became a whore, fucked a bunch of guys, lied relentlessly to her husband, and treated him with nothing but contempt for months.

Abigail was initially tricked into becoming an escort and quit so that she could find a decent man. There was no deceit or betrayal on her behalf towards Hank, and she had pledged to be faithful to him for the rest of her life.

If given this kind of choice, I'd be astounded if anyone chose Jennifer over Abigail. Jennifer threw him away to become a whore... Abigail turned her back on prostitution to be with Hank.

It was a really great story, but I wish you had written a final confrontation between Hank and Jennifer. She became a whore for the cash, and lost her husband, her job, her reputation, now has a criminal record for prostitution, and basically ruined her life.

Jennifer turned into a complete cunt by the time they divorced, but it's quite clear that she adored her husband for the first 3 years of their marriage. She was gushing about him so much to her friends at work, that she made Abigail fall in love with him by proxy!

It would have been interesting to see that loss finally hit home and Jennifer be totally devastated at what she'd thrown away.

Cant get past the characters. They are all very naive, dumb etc.... each one has a serious logic issue. Wilcox destroys own company. Hank is idiot for not doing anythjng about wife. Jennifer is already rich and then becomes a whore. On and kn

The only thing is why Jennifer even bothers trying to stay with Hank. She doesn't seem to feel the least bit of shame to have done what she did, and it doesn't appear to just be the money. If it was,why was she so bitchy to him? At the party she shows nothing but contempt for him. The difference w Aggie is when she was doing it she was single and the only person she was hurting was herself,and unlike Jennifer she had reasons for what she did,Jennifer was from a rich family,her husband had a good job,so she got into it simply to have sex....and Aggie had a conscience,Jennifer is busted, and she goes right back to Richard and doing the same thing. I doubt she would have stopped if she didn't get busted,she wouldn't even admit the truth when she knew she has been busted.

The one weakness with this story is setting it in an investment firm. While investment banks are notorious for 'close the deal' antics, the kind of situation described,with Richard basically stealing money from marketing and expenses and the whole bonuses for the girls services would be picked up by auditors, it would raise all kinds of red flags.Jennifer and Richard also likely would not be able to be hired by Jace, there would be mandatory background checks Jace couldn't get around and would have red flagged both of them.

Still I liked the story, it was well written and kept me reading.

4starrs

Pretty much flawless... well, almost.

I will join my voice to the chorus of other readers who wish they were more of a final confrontation between Hank and Jennifer. At the very least, an explanation, from her perspective, should have been added to explain why, after three years of blissful matrimony, she so willingly threw her marriage away to become a corporate whore. The focus would have remain between Hank and Abbey, but the Jennifer part of his life story felt like it didn't get any true conclusion - it seems like he ran away from her, when he ultimately did nothing wrong, and should have demand from her some genuine explanations for her actions.

Everything else, though... as I already said, as good as it gets.

Unsurprisingly, added to my favorites.

Sweetie is treated as a bit player in this LW story. My interpretation of the LW category within LIT centers on the effect of Sweetie’s adventurousness (acts and personality) on the marital relationship. That does not necessarily mean that Hubby even knows about the transgression(s), although his discovery/awareness is usually the case. In this contribution, that aspect is chopped off, guillotine sharp, sudden and complete! We-The-Readers even have to surmise that Sweetie’s Dad was able to obtain the intent of Hubby’s blackmail. WTRs don’t see her directly until the actual party, although WTRs are told about her ‘crappy Batman outfit’ ploy earlier. And WTRs see or hear her only briefly or rarely ever after.

BTW ... ‘Compliment’ is used correctly ONCE, and then is malaproped with ‘complement’ thereafter. The latter is, of course, a perfectly good word in English with a perfectly good meaning (that has nothing in common with the near-homophone.

Oh, yeah ... and Catalan!

5* a well-done account that is mostly not LW.

End-parens omitted. Sorry!

but I think that the Abby character would have been a better dramatic element if she were not so... hot, frankly. Yes, later in the story she was shown to have compromised herself, and thus kinda needed to be somewhat attractive... but, her and Hank's relationship seems somewhat overshadowed by her appearance at times.

Most of the story was relatively free of conflict, which is also a bit drab...Just my first take.

Good luck and keep writing.

Green-something

I did get all the way through it without skipping or scanning. I wasn't impressed with the end where he goes running out of the house over a necklace. It didn't seem necessary nor fit the characters you built. Otherwise I did enjoy reading it and glad the "bad guys" received some cummuppance.

Wilcox runs a family oriented company, but when a husband comes to blows with Richard over his wife, he does nothing.

At the Halloween party, Jennifer is dressed like about and is clearly Richards date. Both Olive and Jennifer are without husbands. Not sounding very family oriented.

Then we have Abbey who says she doesn't know anything other than rumor and innuendo. However, she talks to Olive about stopping fucking Richard... Why if. She doesn't know and she clearly knows what "tomorrow" is. Then when Jennifer comes up, Jennifer is not hiding her relationship at all and admits to sharing a suite with Abbey, and having sex with Richard. She even suggests Abbey join them. That sure sounds as if Jennifer is used to talking this way with Abbey and that Abbey knows everything.

KB

Well done, but a bit long.

One of the better stories in LW in a while.

KB

Your warning about the length of the story was perfect. I’d like to know when you write something that doesn’t exceed two pages.

Favorited author.

Abigail was a somewhat deceptive whore on the reform and Jennifer and Olive were straight up whores on the make.

Wonder what happened to Olive whore?

Its' good but he had every right to be suspicious of Abby... Abby lied on more than one occasion to Hank or lied by omission - the necklace did catch her in a lie of omission. And Abby had full knowledge of Jenn's actions/activities contrary to what she eluded/said to Hank at/before the Halloween party.

Hank's concern of Abby manipulation had foundation, however, Abby did love him to death and honor him; where Jenn did herself in with the arrest that created the public CHEAT/betrayal. Still a solid 5*....

Long, but definitely worth the time and effort.

Yes there are holes in the story, but crikeys we are amateur writers.

The important thing is that it was easy to read, easy to follow, and easy to visualise.

Named Isabella? A little disconnect there.

Not sure why Hank didn't take that conversation between Abby and Jennifer as a warning sign, there were several glaring things. It strained my SoD quite a bit around page 2-3

It was pretty obvious that she had also spent quite a while slutting around like that soon-to-be ex of his.

And that she were hiding things from him.

He should have had several pointed questions for her, about what she had done, about that boss before Gail, and whether she had also been a bit of 'enticement' as Jennifer seems to be doing, which seemed fairly obvious from what she said.

small typo:

pretty site - pretty sight

Keeping an extraordinary necklace that you wore while letting scum fuck and slobber on you was fairly stupid.

Bad enough to ever be with her husband at an event or just out and have one of her johns recognize her but there would be no mistaking that necklace as they fucked her whore ass.

Still an interesting read. Abbey was just kind of casually stupid and sleazy into her marriage.

You have to give warnings about it being long and what to expect so it doesn't waste our time? All I can see in your not so great writing is that you put way, way too much unnecessary filler that doesn't add a damn thing to the story. THAT is why your 'stories' are so overly long that even you know there will be complaints about.

Pretty sure she would have explained her past to him before he met her mother but all in all, a great story.

I liked it but thought it could be improved by hearing a little more from Jennifer. She had told her colleagues she loved him so why risk that? Did she really intend to return to her marriage and give up the money? Did she really think he wouldn't find out? Despite that and some unnecessary padding I still thought this was worth 5 stars for a very good read

Abby knows what she wants and took it. and Hank, well, he is a simple man. so easily controlled.

I agree with Tajfa. For a story this long, Jennifer really got short-changed. Either play up her motives more, since she was already a spoiled rich kid, or expound on her ultimate circumstances. She just faded like a vapor, at least throw some meat to the BTB crowd. lol

I agree with some readers. Make it long like this, you needed to add Jen's view. Though her husband suspect, would she able to keep it from him without Robert coming back for her skill to manipulate?

Gave it an 5

Read the Cruise story, so had to give this a look. Another really good story. I like your work.

Really enjoyed it, but it needed more on Jen. If it's just her anguish about what she's done, tell us.

As a writer you are very good at explaining character emotions but seemed to completely skip Jennifer.

It left me feeling a little bit short changed to be honest.

I really enjoy reading a good novella-length story. Particularly when it flows as well as this one does.

Well done.

Thanks for a nice story. A very complete background for the "scandal at Wilcox's" from your Cruise story. Simple plot summary: MC trades in whore wife for a reformed whore. As written, a definite trade up for him.

It occurred to me after my last comment that Abbey knew far more at a much earlier stage in the story than she let on to Hank. She stated that she would share more information with her friend (Hank) when she knew for sure. She clearly knew at least as early as the necklace/blowjob picture event the full extent of Jennifer's involvement, yet declined to share until later. Lies by omission put her motivation to trash the Hank/Jennifer marriage into serious question - Hank was not wrong to have misgivings but was very quick to gloss over Abbey's potential guilt in breaking one marriage to renew in her favor.

Very enjoyable story!! Just the right blend of LW and Romance!!!

Second read, still good buttttttt... Why didn't Abby proof the pics her PI gave him? Then to keep that necklace was not to sharp knowing what the PI gave him. Or did she an overall disrespect for all men since they lack lacking awareness/smarts ??? As she needed a shrink I think he may too as Hank will think about her deception and omissions for years to come whenever she puts a spell upon him that he doesn't initially support. Did Hank ever have free will?

Her having been with richard would have been as big a deal in my opinion. Yes the fact she participated in a gangbang with his exwife is as huge.

She should have come clean before marriage. They could have reconciled but it would have taken a lot more than a few paragraphs

A great story. What happened in the past is just that - the past. She changed her life after that. People make mistakes. What they do after that is just as important, if not more important the the mistake itself.

Very good, but the necklace could have remained a key element -and- been handed more realistically.

Abigail felt badly about her decisions to escort, it impacted her self esteem. She questioned whether her side/escort money and things bought with it were tainted. Keeping the house isn’t a big deal. The necklace was different: she wore it with escorting dates. It had to be a reminder of events she wanted to leave behind. So why would she want to wear it with Hank?

She could have, before they wed, explained to Hank, needing to dispose of some possessions from her past, and why. It could have been a discussion topic of her therapy. Showing the necklace before selling it would have reinforced her commitment to Hank, and her sincerity.

Upon seeing the necklace, Hank could still get upset and get away for a time. Then reconcile. Then place the proceeds into a college fund. They’d always know how the fund was started, and remind them of the importance of watching out for their daughter; and take strength from her ability to refocus her life.

Have been 4 pages shorter. Otherwise a fine story well written.

Agree with last comment,decent story,but could have been shorter without losing its impact.

Poor guy is just a slut magnet!! Maybe a whore magnet instead; after all they were both PAID!!!

Too much described.

Not enough felt.

Too much past tense.

Not enough pointing forward.

Thanks!

****I'm going to share a couple of things to let you know what isn't in the story, so you don't waste your time. If you consider those spoilers, just skip to the next paragraph. ****

Fair enough. But then again, you did not say anything whatsoever to help.

OK, I did not read the story precisely because of that intro deceptive paragraph and two more reasons: your shorter stories are not much to speak of, and I don't want to wasted my time just to end up with a conclusion that I wasted it on a drivel. So, in the interest of fairness, you should either break the story down into parts or give a little better information about the plot.

1 star and it would have been a 5 without the information about her prior relationship with Richard and Jennifer. I just could not read that part and skipped to the comments. I am glad I did that.

Next time you need to stop when your ahead and not go down those kinds of sick paths - Just Sayin'

That was one very good piece of a loving story.

Got me hooked.

BUT I do have some weird bad vibes about Abigail at the beginning all the way to that story where she left out who was with Richard in that room. Abigail was lying. She told her story that she left the room as Richard walked in with Jennifer but no she was still in the room when the PI took a picture of Jenny sucking Richard's phallus and also caught a pic of Abigail near Jenny. She (Abigail) was probably also sucking a client's penis. The PI unintentionally cropped Abigail's head out of the picture.

But sometimes everyone deserves a second chance.

I do hope there won't be a 7-year-Itch for Abigail. I am afraid cock-carousel-riding girls might have some relapse later.

Knowledge. What was knowledge? "is" not was

wow i meet about a dozen ppl so far and it only the first page and i was skimming lol hmm man i really should stop here but damn its like a train wreck i just gotta keep going lol

Before he could get there, he was intercepted by Abigail. "Hi, Johnnie."

who is johnnie?

From the entrance of the hotel they walked to the outside patio where many of the early guests were already mingling. They had their picture taken with their phones and also by the photographer who was working the event. It was a nice evening for an outside event. Early October can still get blistering hot in Austin, but by late October things have cooled enough for outside events to be quite comfortable, even wonderful at times. The sun had set, and the outside mood lighting was beautiful. did u just gab about the weather in a story lol

So he divorced one prostitute to marry another, ain’t love grand.

Damn fine.

A fairly good story we mostly enjoyed!

There was so much going on with so many characters and so much lying and cheating and slutiness and whoring.

We hen, soooooo many issues and questions that should have been disclosed and discussed right up front. Trust and respect is everything in any relationship. A wanna-be wife who can’t or won’t fess up and disclose her past BEFORE even considering a YES to a serious relationship and marriage? Where O where was all the family who didn’t pressure her to disclose, and yet the pressure was put on a couple of other characters to disclose to their spouses?

Then a missed fess-up opportunity when the incriminating pictures showing the unknown woman with the necklace should have been the moment when the necklace was brought out and the truthfulness was laid out - in detail?

That is me just before I walked out of the room!!!! Non-disclosure creates doubt and so many unanswered questions that are hard to recover from.

Seems like jumping from one pro-hooker to another!

Same disclosure should have happened the first time when a large expensive mini-mansion appeared without a plausible and truthful full-disclosure of where and how the money came from - in detail.

Most times, lying is just the same as not telling the whole truth and holding back…..

SW

Wildly creative, written well, good grammar and spelling. Incredable story, full 5 stars 🌟

From this story: "While it was deserved, it wasn't a pretty site.” The author, and others, should learn the distinction between “site” a place, and “sight,” something seen. He/she has made the error many times.

Yet another great story.

However, TEED OFF is hands down your best work by orders of magnitude!

So creative! You did so well with this. Longish but held my attention throughout.

about 3 pages too long besides some simplistic scenes. overall good.

ABIGAIL WAS A SKANK. SHE PLAY HANK LIKE A PUPPY HELPING HIM, LEADING HIM ON, FUCKING HIM THEN SHE TELLS HIM ABOUT HER WHOREISH PAST WHICH WAS WORSE THAN THE SKANK WIFE OF HIS!!

SO HIS HABLAS MOTHER PREFERRED THE MEXICAN SKANK THAN THE JENNIFEE

He just divorced one prostitute to marry a more qualified professional prostitute!!

Stupid fucking man

Very good story. Haters can just go away.

I think he needs to go see a therapist to get over what happened. I also think that the wife and necklace is just plain coincidences but it is suspect even with her explanations and reasoning.

Thanks.

I am amazed with all these stupid comments from fools that think this is a story with real people.

Anyway, back to story - you have a decent plot, not very original as these "company whore" stories have been quite a few. But you turned the second half into a complete lemonade. The "Jennifer" and "Abigail" characters are casted black and white even though your whole plot shows them quite comparable in their actions, the only difference being when "Abigail" becomes infatuated in "Hank" (god only know for what as that was not explained other than Jennifer praising him while she was infatuated).

That was a chance to make it better and treat characters as human beings. Unfortunately, as many mediocre writers, it is obvious you got enamored with one character and made the whole story one-dimensional. The same with parents and the rest. I guess this is good for penny romance novel but I can tell you it is not good writing.

Ugh. Characters were cardboard. Jennifer was an irredeemable hag / slut. There are so many tropes in the plot. Abbie and the MC get together in just a matter of weeks then get too thr next level fast off Jennifer's betrayal that had been going on almost a year. The MC has like zero emotions about finding out. Abbie paid for the PI and everything. She tried to turn Olive and Jennifer back to their husband's but trapped by Martian Slut Rays they fail (except Olive at the very end for reasons that are unfathomable). I did not get the fake drama at the end with the MC. Abbie told her own slut story and yes she did not directly say Jennifer's name before he interrupted her, but immediately.wnet in about how Richard was turning all the women into whores (Martian Slut Rays are powerful stuff!) from the get go. Long story.

I think it would have contributed to the story if at some point you inserted a phone call between Olive and Jennifer in which Olive related that Hank had just married Anibell.

So he dumps the whore wife to move on with another slut, Abby

After the slut Abigail fucks him then she tells him about her sordid trash past!!

TRAILER PARK TRASH

So Abigail introduced his wife to the whoring club

Nice story, and well written - probably could have been trimmed by a page or three but nothing egregious. Re: the story, why would Abbie take on the escort service gig? She has already banked a ton and is getting paid extraordinarily well by her legit job in investment banking - at least a few hundred thousand a year, maybe more. Why would she take a side-job that pays what - a few thousand a night, max, as her share, especially one that entails the risks it does?

jmmj5, love your stories and many stories in or on literotica. But in all of the loving wives stories about cheating wives I’ve never read one where psychological war was used against her. For example, once the husband has evidence he starts asking her, “what’s that smell? NO YOU DON’T smell the same anymore” and continues to tell her this & on and on. Or the husband covertly finds out who is hanging around her desk. And then he, when he is sure she is sleeping hollers loudly, “ who the hell is Brad”. Then at random times he continues this. You get the idea.

It's an exaggerated story.

Sorry. Even skimming and skipping thru it, it was too long.

A beautifully crafted story that I needed to read in detail to fully apprecaite.

Skipped about 5 pages, still fell asleep.

I wish that when Hank got the call from Jennifer when he was at his parents home, that he would have ended the call after everything he said to her in this story, he said, “ Jennifer you have so far apart from me that you don’t even recognize me when I’m standing in front of you. I was Abby’s date at the Halloween party.” I bet he would never had heard from her again.

Some weird obsession about money kept popping up, everyone in America is a whore. That's capitalism baby

10 pages too fucking long

Hank divorced one skank only to marry another

C'est quoi tous ces courageux derrière leur écrans qui bavent sur un écrivain en restant anonymes.?

Lots of created content in this Femdom agitprop tale.

I think the best way Hank could have let Jennifer know that *he* knew everything, and she'd actually confessed in front of him, as 'Johnnie', by leaving his mask on his pillow when he went home to pack up his stuff.

Love the story and the ending BUT that little bit with the necklace still bothers me (jaybee186)

We all like to think people can change, but in my years of experience, that’s just not true. I really liked the story until the last few pages when Hank is duped again. 2*

If I read it correctly, Abby actually tried to tell him about the first time she realized Jennifer was whoring. But, he was so focused on Richard walking into the room he cut her off. So, she did try to tell him that detail.

If I was in Hank's shoes it would be more concerning that she was still whoring within less than a year of when he found out about Jennifer's betrayal. So, Abby took a few months off from corporate whoring and then started insinuating herself into Hank's life.

With zero meaningful dialogue between Hank and Jennifer and the fact that Abby was there immediately to relieve Hank's pain this story had no emotional development or impact at all.

Pretty good from a writing standpoint although it was disconcerting that when Hank was telling Abby nice things the author repeatedly used complement rather than compliment.

A good story. Well written.

Re BigBlueKat.

People can and do change. They just need the right motivation.

When I was young I was hell on wheels when driving a car. As soon as we put our 5 lb baby in our car I became a scared over cautious pussy.

I really enjoyed this story, surprisingly for me. It was well and delicately done. I usually don't enjoy stories with escorts, or prostitutes, or whores or whatever you want to call women who sell their bodies for money. This reminded me that we are all human, we all are weak at times, and we all make mistakes. Some mistakes have a larger effect that others, obviously.

We can grow from such, make restitution if needed, ask for forgiveness where needed, and learn to forgive ourselves. This reminds me of the story of Rahab when the Israelites were approaching the city of Jericho. She was a prostitute who met and helped the scouting Jewish men, and heeded their warning, one of whom was a man named Salmon. Long story short, her and her family were saved in the destruction of Jericho, and she joined herself to the people of God, and eventually in time was an ancestor of the Lord Jesus. The point being that even those who sell themselves can be redeemed and forgiven, and can have lives full of value and meaning.

Enjoyed this well written story. 5 stars.