All Comments on 'The Happy Voyeur'

hope theres more!!

I could not make it past the first several paragraphs. This needs a serious editor to put it in a readable order, if that is even possible. This looks like published story notes not a viable story.

Reads like a checklist! Very little flow.bFMbKN

You mention Ryan and then back to Lenny in the last few chapters. Need to fix this.

This story is not good due to a total lack of dialogue between mother and son. They are not allowed to discuss what they are feeling and that takes away from the intimacy and presents the reader with nothing but long and empty paragraphs.

The premise of the story is good, but the reader needs to be able to hear as well as see the interaction between mom and son. Incest is something that will cause certain feelings to arise and the reader needs to read the dialogue that they have about the uncertainties as it helps to make the visualization of their sexual intimacy much more erotic.

There also needs to be a little more dialogue during the sex between them as their words can have a stimulating effect on the reader.

Too impersonal, too drawn out, there's no feeling to the story. Just poorly written, a ho hum kind of writing.

Not big on the Lenny the Retard portrayal, pretty unkind. It's a 3 page story in 5 pages, needs an editor.

Hence, I was expecting Paul to catch Lenny with his mother and ends up killing them both. A weird but sad story. It could have been much better is the story was not so lengthy. I would have stopped after 3 pages.