The Harem Ch. 02

He shook his head and rolled up the window. Prom was important to Liz, Mark knew that. He knew that she had some very peculiar, preconceived notions about how it was all supposed to go. He knew he didn't ask her right, and he knew that he needed to meet her expectations for tonight if they were going to stay together. They were going to the party, then they would go to prom, then they would go to the after party, and then they would go to a hotel room.

In her mind, it was already perfect.

She had booked everything to make sure it would be perfect, and aside from her dress, Mark had paid for everything. That was fine. He just wished he had paid for her dress too. He could have picked out something so much better for her. Something in a rich, emerald green. Maybe an asymmetrical cut that showed off her legs with a plunging neckline to show off her cleavage. She could have worn her hair down then. Her makeup would have been simple except for deep red lipstick. That would have made her look like a woman he would be proud to have on his arm, instead of a child.

He took a deep breath. It didn't matter. This was the hand he was dealt, and he would play his cards. He might as well enjoy himself.

He went into the party. He said hello to the handful of guys who pretended to be his friends and he said hello to the handful of guys who were actually his friends. Then he found his date talking to a group of girls, all similarly dressed, and all looking equally underage, on the back patio talking.

"-such a barbarian." one of the girls was saying. "I don't know how you put up with him. He's stupid and violent and utterly classless. I don't know how he couldn't appreciate your dress. My boyfriend couldn't stop talking about mine." She did a little pose and twirl. Mark couldn't understand how an eighteen-year-old girl could look like she was twelve.

"I know," Liz said, "he's an absolute pain in the ass. I only put up with him because Sandy bet me that I couldn't keep him for three months."

"There's got to be something more than four hundred bucks," another girl said. "Come on, it's not like you don't have the money."

"Well, he's good enough in bed," Liz said, "and he does have a nice cock, but Jason is so much easier to deal with, especially in bed. Last night, I got Jason to cum inside my ass and I made him lick his cum out afterwards. He loved it."

Mark was surprised that he wasn't angry. He knew Liz didn't love him - love was a big word and while they had fun together, she had always seemed a little distant. He had assumed that was because she was getting over her ex. He wasn't surprised to hear Liz confess to cheating on him with said ex. He had always thought that she had something up her sleeve, that she was hiding something from him behind her pouty and controlling baby face, but that she was dating him for a bet AND sleeping with her ex at the same time? Wow.

"So, Jason likes to eat his own cum?" He asked. "Do you pay him to do it? Buy him off with presents and sex?"

Every head snapped towards him. Liz was shocked. "Mark! How long have you been spying on me?"

Mark's laugh was genuine enough and loud enough that the crowd quieted around them. "Spying on you? I just walked up to listen to a conversation that everyone else at the party probably heard too. So, tell me, how long have you been cheating on me? Although, if you were only dating me on a bet, I'm not sure it qualifies as cheating. Should we get another opinion?"

Mark saw her calculating. He saw her eyes twitch around the yard to see how many people were watching, who would come to her defense and who would leave her out to dry. "I swear baby, it was just the one time."

"You used to be a much better liar," Mark said.

She gave up on it. Her patience was worn thin. "Fine. I never stopped sleeping with Jason. The entire time you and I have been together I've been fucking him every chance I get. Every time you went home with bloody knuckles, I fucked him. Every time you got into a shouting match at school, I fucked him. I fucked more in the last three months than we did before. For fuck's sake, he's grateful to you for fighting all the time. And yeah, four hundred bucks because I managed to keep you on a leash for three months." She sneered at him. "There you go, hot shot. There's the truth. What are you going to do about it? Hit me?"

"Except we haven't been dating for three months, have we? Three months would be a week away." Mark shook his head. "And no, I don't hit little girls. I don't date little girls either. I'm going to leave you here, in your little girl dress, without a ride, without a date," he held up the prom tickets and tore them in half, "and without a ticket to your senior prom."

Liz's face was frozen in shock.

"Eat shit and die," Mark said pleasantly before turning around and leaving the party. The crowd parted before him like the red sea for Moses.

"Jason bought me a ticket you know." Liz screamed at him as he was nearly out the front door.

Mark turned and with the same smile he would offer a misbehaving child he said, "You used to be a much better liar." And he walked out the door.

Dinner was fabulous. The wine was excellent. Susan insisted on only a single glass for herself, although she let her children drink as much as they wanted. She would drive home after all, and she assumed that the rest of the evening would be more pleasant if the kids had some wine to help relax their usually austere natures. She waited until they were home again before getting into it though. She had thought about having the conversation in the restaurant, but after that initial moment when the mood had seemed so perfect there hadn't been a good opening. They had spent dinner and part of the drive home talking about mundane things. They talked about work mostly. Rachel talked a bit about her friends but she seemed to falling out of touch with them. Without the common bond of high school she was finding it hard to maintain those relationships. River talked about community college and how boring gen ed classes were. Susan noticed, not for the first time, that neither of her children talked about potential love interests. She had to admit though, that this was the first time she wasn't worried about the omission. And it was a good an opening as any to begin the conversation.

"Come on," Susan said, "There has to be someone. You can't honestly expect me to believe that my children are single AND crushless. You two romantics have always had either a crush or a significant other."

"More crushes than dates for me," River said.

"Oh come on," a drunk Rachel said, "It isn't like you're a virgin or anything."

"Talk about something I DON'T want to talk about."

"Was it that bad?" Susan asked.

"Yes," River said. "I didn't know escorts gave refunds."

Susan wasn't sure if he was joking or not but let it go. "Personally, there's this young guy at the gym who is really hot. He's built like Mark."

"Our age?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe. Maybe I'll even share if you're good." Susan teased.

"I need to get out more," River said. "Meet people."

Susan saw the sweat on his forehead. She saw the little signs that a panic attack was on the way and she was grateful to see they were home. "Come on you two. Let's have a nightcap before bed. Mark won't be home till morning anyways."

"Not me," Rachel said. "I have class. And I think I'm drunk. I should stop."

"I'll have one." River got out of the car and helped his sister. "Let's get you to your room Rach. Pour me a glass of what you're having, Mom."

"How much like Mark?" Rachel asked as they stumbled into the house. "How much does the hunk at the gym look like Mark?"

"Why? Would it be weird if I started dating someone who looked like your baby brother?"

"No," Rachel said, "Kinda hot."

"And you are definitely drunk," River said. "Come on."

Susan smiled and laughed inside as she poured River and herself a glass of wine. She settled into her favorite overstuffed armchair and waited for him. When he joined her, he sat on the floor, his legs splayed out in front of him, in a too deliberately masculine pose. He laughed. "Rachel never could hold her alcohol."

Susan shrugged, "So much the better" Susan said, "it's time to discuss the elephant in the room."

River's laughter died and he stared at his mother, who returned his gaze with equanimity. Susan saw the tension building in him. She saw him clutch at the fabric of his pants over and over again. She thought maybe he was going to start yelling, but as the tears formed in his eyes and the distress he felt became so obvious on his face, he buried his face in his hands. He tucked his knees up to his chest and did everything he could to contain the sound of his sobbing while curling into a small a shape as he could contort his body into.

She moved to sit on the couch he was leaning against so that her leg was against his arms and put an arm around his shoulders. He immediately slumped into her sobbing and trying to speak through the tears.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sorry Mom, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's alright baby. It's ok."

"I'm sorry I've been such an asshole tonight," he said in a whisper as his tears calmed down. "It's just..." his words drifted off.

"It was Mark kissing you right?" Susan asked.

River nodded.

"It felt confusing?"

River nodded again.

"You felt weak when he did it. But you didn't mind at the time, did you?"

River shook his head.

"You wanted more."

River nodded.

"And you feel bad about it. Tell me, did you feel bad because boys aren't supposed to like feeling weak, or did you feel bad because he's your brother?"

"Both," River admitted. "A lot of both."

"So you tried to assert your masculinity by driving us to dinner and escorting us in and ordering the wine."

River nodded.

"Did it ever occur to you, sweetheart, that even men can be on the submissive side."

"No, Mom. It isn't just that." He took a deep breath. "It isn't just that." He leaned back against the couch and looked up at the ceiling as though the words he needed to say were etched on the ceiling lights. "It isn't just that. I..." He sighed. "I don't know."

"It's more confusing, because you like wearing women's underwear." Susan said.

She felt the emotions run through River as she held him. She felt his shoulders tense with fear. His secret was out. Then his shoulders sagged with relief, he wouldn't have to hide anymore. Then fear again - would she accept him? Would she still love him?

Susan leaned over and kissed the top of River's head. "It's alright, Honey. Plenty of men do it and it has nothing to do with how manly or unmanly they are."

"I don't know Mom. Maybe for some but for me...I look in the mirror and I hate myself unless I see HER. Then I think 'Hello Beautiful,' and I feel... I dunno."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"I'm not gay. I don't think. Or Trans."

"Honey, maybe you are and you just don't know it yet. Maybe you're something else entirely. Does that even matter? In the end, all of those things are just words. You are, who you are."

"I don't know."

"Tell you what. What if you started dressing just some of the time? Around the house. Maybe not a total ensemble, but more feminine. Let's bring out the beautiful woman you see into the everyday. We'd have to tell Mark and Rachel of course, but it'll give you a chance to really explore this."

"I don't know." He sat in silence, head on his mother's lap. "I don't know."

"We'll take it slow," Susan said, "Start with things that seem a bit more natural. Grow your hair out. I know you shave your legs, so we won't need to worry about that."

"How did you-"

"Shhh," Susan caressed his head and ran her fingers through his hair. "Mama knows. Let that be enough, alright?"

River nodded.

"One last thing. Will you dress for me? Right now? I'd like to see you, that you want to see."

River nodded and went to his room. Susan allowed herself a third glass of wine. The conversation had gone better than expected in less time than she had expected. That River had so much to drink had certainly helped. He had wanted to share, but had been afraid for a while now. How long? Susan thought back, trying to remember a time when she might have suspected. She thought back looking for signs, trying to remember her panties going missing, or maybe Rachel's.

"Mama?"

Susan looked up from her musings to see River standing in the hallway. He was dressed in a simple skirt that came down to his knees, and a simple, sleeveless blouse. Susan stood up and looked him over. "Hello, Beautiful," she said with a smile. She examined his makeup. "Not bad at all. We can improve it, but you did well for learning on your own." She put one hand on the wig and shook her head. "That won't do, Honey. Take the wig off please."

River obeyed. "It -"

"It makes you look like your sister," Susan said. "This way you look more like yourself." She examined his chest. "No padding?"

River shook his head with a slight smile of his own this time. "This way I look more like me."

They sat and talked for a little bit longer. Did he use a different name when he dressed? How long had he been doing it? Should they use different pronouns now?

He discovered it after a panic attack in high school and he had grabbed for something of Susan's to comfort himself. Anything with her smell to make him think of Mom, and he accidentally grabbed her panties. One thing led to another.

No, he didn't use a different name. "I don't feel like a different person, when I dress," River said. "I'm just... more me? Maybe?"

Susan nodded. "What about pronouns? Should we start calling you Her?"

"Maybe. How about 'She' when I'm dressed, and 'he' when I'm just..." he waved his hand vaguely back towards his room.

"Alright. Tomorrow, you start letting your hair grow out," Susan said. "And we'll go shopping, just the two of us for some more things for you. Hang them up in your closet, don't hide them in that chest under your bed."

"But, Rachel and Mark will notice."

"Yes," Susan said. "You'll have to tell them. Not tomorrow, but soon. Even if this isn't you 100% of the time, this is still you some of the time."

River thought about it and nodded. "Ok Mom."

"I never thought your quiet voice suited you," she said, "but right now it does." She kissed him on the cheek. "Go get into bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Are you going to stay up and wait for Mark?"

Susan shook her head. "He got a hotel room, remember?"

River rolled their eyes. "Liz is such a waste. He could do better."

Susan lifted an eyebrow at River. "Is there someone in particular you were thinking of?"

River blushed. "No," she answered a little too quickly, "No. I just think Mark can do better." River turned and went to bed.

Susan shook her head, poured herself another glass of wine and leaned back in her favorite chair to enjoy the quiet. Were all children such terrible liars, or was it only the parents who always saw through them?

He wanted to text Mom, or Rachel or River. But he didn't. They were enjoying a night out too, and he didn't want to spoil their time with his drama. He didn't want to go home. All his friends had either graduated the previous year and were in college somewhere or seniors at prom. Mark sure as hell wasn't going to prom to talk to his friends. Even if he hadn't torn up the tickets, he wasn't going there now. He hadn't wanted to go in the first place. Instead he drove around the country roads just beyond the suburbs with the windows down and Bach's moonlight sonata playing on repeat. Mark focused on the road and on his breathing. He let his mind empty as he drove.

Thoughts tore through his mind, but he didn't try to hold any of them. He just breathed and drove.

The bitch had been cheating on him the entire time they were dating. Not a surprise. His family didn't like her - that should have warned him right at the outset. The only reasons he had even been dating Liz was that she was hot, and she had come on to him. He thought "why not" - well now he had plenty of reasons to not date her.

She was a girl child. He was done with girls.

He thought about all the times his friends had told him to leave Liz alone. After every fight, every shouting match, he had thought about going to Liz. He had thought about going to her and seeking some comfort from her, but his friends had always warned him off. She had slept with Jason after every fight that Mark had. Did his friends know? Was that why they warned him off?

That's when he realized that all his friends in his class, had been close to Liz and her clique before he started hanging out with them. Had she manipulated them all into covering for her?

Probably.

He shook his head. Was it too much to ask for a woman who was hot and honest?

Like Mom, or Rachel.

That thought disrupted his meditative trance. That was wrong. He shouldn't think of them that way. It wasn't the first time he had thought of them that way, but he always stopped himself. He had to stop himself. He felt the Beast's attention flicker at the idea of Mom and Rachel, two hot, honest women, holding his arm as he entered prom.

That wouldn't do. As much as he wanted it, as much as he wanted to give the Beast what it wanted, it wouldn't do. He couldn't give it Mom or Rachel.

Or River.

Now hold on a second. River was great and as hot as it was kissing him earlier in the night River wasn't a hot woman. He wasn't even a handsome man, although it wasn't difficult for Mark to imagine River wearing women's clothes and that was pretty hot. Not that he was gay or into men in general, and as far as he knew River was straight too.

But if he was honest with himself, he'd totally be gay for River.

That thought made Mark pull over on the side of the road.

It was followed by an image of the four of them standing together for the pre-prom pictures. Rachel pressing into him. Mom pressing into him. River pressing into him. It was followed by a picture of them in his mind all of them in the same pose and setting, but his family wore white and gold lingerie. It was hot. In his mind they wore matching thong panties and translucent shelf half-bras, even River. Even River looked hot in Mark's sudden fever dream. The more he thought about it, the more he had a sense that there was something more just beyond reach waiting for them. There was something... an idea or a choice that was just out of sight waiting for him. Waiting for him... not in his car. Waiting for him at home.

It was time to go home.

He looked up from where he was parked and realized he was around the corner from his house. How long had he been heading there? How long had his subconscious mind been directing him home? He shook his head, it didn't matter. He needed to go home, and he was nearly there. He pulled onto the street, turned the corner and parked the sedan on the street in front of the house. Even though tomorrow was Saturday, he knew his mom was going to be up early to go to the gym. Rachel had a Saturday class from 8-12. River preferred to sleep in on Saturday's and rarely left the house on the weekend, but Mark didn't like to inconvenience anyone, so he always parked on the street.

He sat in his car after he turned off the engine. Everyone was home. He saw Mom's SUV, which they had taken to dinner as well as the twins' Prius which they shared. He saw lights on in the living room, but the lights in the bedrooms he could see were all out. Which meant that River and Rachel were both asleep otherwise Mark should have seen the flicker of light from one of their monitors through the curtains.

Unless one or more of them were still awake in the living room. Was Mom up? Rachel? River?

He took a deep breath. His palms were sweaty, and he felt shaky. He felt like his skin was too tight for his body and he was going to burst out of it at any moment. Why was he nervous?