The Hole Ch. 04-05

Chapter Four

Speaking of freedom, we had the next several hours to explore the campus and meet some of the community. Abby and I did stay in our room a little while longer, reviewing the experience so far. Abby told me about the great fight Locks put up against Hulk, and how impressive they both were. She also told me how during my part of the wrestling match she felt a mixture of sympathy, pity, and embarrassment, adding that it turned her on to see me handled that way by other men, and that she loved me for going through it all. Radical Honesty was obviously something she was enjoying.

After a bit we left our room. Walking past Hulk and Sparrow's room we heard her screaming and him groaning. Abby shushed me and we stood by the door listening. "You wanted some of that treatment, huh babe?" I asked. She just nodded with her eyes open wide. It felt very freeing to have this honesty between us. How often do couples get to share such things?

After a minute of that we went outside, and just started walking around the campus. It was a huge plot of land, very forested, with numerous paths leading to the buildings. Just on the other side of the Coliseum was what appeared to be another modern house, much much smaller than the mansion, but very nice. We walked a path around that, and eventually it opened up onto a massive field area. There we discovered a sports complex, complete with tennis and basketball courts, as well as a soccer and softball field. Beyond that were more woods, smaller than the first, and that path ultimately led to a building in the far back corner of the property. This one was small and not nice. It looked more like a rundown prison than anything else.

As we explored, several people stopped to say hello to us. Still feeling the humiliation of the Test so far I cringed the first few times anyone approached. But they were incredibly kind and welcoming, telling us both what a great job we're doing, and basically treating us like mini celebrities. It put me in an even better mood.

The campus was gorgeous. The community was warm. Everytime we were alone again Abby and I marveled at what we were experiencing.

On our way back, once we returned to the bigger woods, we crossed paths with Locks and Witchy. They too were super nice. Pretty quickly, Locks and I walked behind the girls, and he told me he was sorry about the wrestling match. "I got a little carried away. I hope it wasn't terrible for you," he said.

"It was an experience to say the least, but that's why we're here. No worries."

"Truth," he replied and clapped me on the back. We shared our excitement about the campus, and then talked a bit about our jobs and such. He worked in animation. I thought that was neat and asked him tons of questions.

Eventually we returned to the big house and the four of us decided to explore that for a bit too. Somehow this was even more impressive than the campus. It was a veritable maze. There was an indoor pool, and outside of that, another pool on the side of the mansion. There were several hot tubs. Besides the auditorium there was another small theater. There was a kitchen and cafeteria area. In the middle of all of it was an atrium. I could go on.

It was four floors, and the fourth was off limits. "The upper quarters," we were told by a kindly looking older man as he saw us standing by the door at the top of the stairs wondering what was up with that. Also off limits was the basement.

"I can only imagine what must go on down there," Witchy said, and we all laughed, titillated with wonder.

At this point I mentioned I might need a nap, and everyone agreed it'd be a good idea to go rest up in our rooms. On the way I said, "I saw a sign outside the cafeteria that said dinner is served at 6:30." To Locks and Witchy: "Wanna knock on our door on your way and join us?" They both seemed happy about that.

"Seems like we might want to have a full stomach for whatever the Interview is," said Locks. When we got to their room we said our goodbyes and they went in. We then passed Hulk's and Sparrow's and without a word we stopped to listen. Not a peep this time.

"I'll bet she's in a deep sleep," said Abby. We laughed and went into our room where we agreed it already felt like we were making friends. Abby rubbed my back as I fell into a restful slumber. I hadn't felt so relaxed in forever.

----

I woke up around six and Abby was still sound asleep. I woke her up and while she was still half asleep she instantly started making out with me. This was a pleasant new surprise. We made out for at least two minutes when she started pawing at my hard penis. Right when she wrapped her hand around it her eyes opened, and she blurted out "Oh hi honey!" She started laughing and let go of me. "What time is it?" I told her and she said we better start getting ready for dinner.

Chico had brought in our suitcases the previous night. I put on one of my nicest shirts, while Abby got ready in the bathroom. She soon came out in a gorgeous black dress, hugging her sexy curves, and she had her hair in a french braid. She looked stunning, like she was going out on a hot third date or something.

"Trying to impress someone?" I asked.

Coyly she responded, "Oh, no one in particular."

With that, we left and closed the door behind us and walked closer to something like a Last Supper.

----

Dinner was downright perfect. Part of the cafeteria was cordoned off to feel like a private event at a fancy restaurant. There was a waitstaff and all. The 24 of us sat at a table that felt perfectly built for 24 people. The six guests sat at one end, with Hulk at the head. Chico sat next to us too, seemingly no longer in the butler role for the evening. He didn't say much all evening. He seemed more assured in his role as butler than playing himself.

At the other head sat Him, flanked by Betany and the kindly older man we'd seen earlier. He didn't greet us or even look at us for much of the dinner, but I could feel Abby next to me stealing as many peeks his way as possible. The rest of the time she was pretty engaged with Witchy, while I talked sports with Locks, who had a surprising amount of football knowledge. He said he liked rough sports that were derivative of war, and he shared some clues that he was something of a war history buff as well.

Dinner was served on fancy plates, and it was delicious. It was all vegetarian. This really seemed to please Sparrow, and while I've always been more of a meat and potatoes kind of guy, this was the beginning of some new habits for me. It's not hard when there's an incredible chef cooking for you everyday.

We were served delicious pinot noir, and the one thing Chico did say was we should all "finish that but go easy. You need to be fully present for your Interview, though lubed up enough so as to be uninhibited." So we all milked our one glass, which was good because we had just enough left to cheers when He got up and proposed a toast.

"I want to make a toast to our new friends. You are each delighting us in your own way, and we are pleased with the fit. Please know though, you are only half way through the Test. The hardest parts are yet to come. Enjoy the rest of your dinner and Chico will show you to the Room. Now a big cheers to our new friends."

Everyone gleefully said, "Cheers!" I washed down the remainder of my glass, looking for a little liquid courage for whatever was about to come next.

----

It turns out the "Room" was one of many in the basement. It was dark with enough light to reveal six chairs behind a metal table and two on the other. The concrete floor and walls made it feel like a basement alright. It definitely had the feel of a place where you'd be interviewed, or interrogated rather, like something out of the movies.

From the moment He and Betany walked in, the door slammed shut behind them, and they sat down. It definitely felt more like an interrogation than anything else. The warmth each had shown previously was missing, and it was replaced with a quiet but intense seriousness. My palms were sweating and the joy I'd been feeling much of the day gave way to fear.

He spoke first. "We've talked about Radical Honesty enough already for you to know that we need it from you always. If you are to stay here and reap the benefits of this community, to live this incredible life with us, you need to commit right here and now to Radical Honesty, to the best of your ability, at all times. If you each commit, say it now."

"Yes Sir!" we each said as though responding to an army captain.

"And a reminder: everything is being recorded for History and is being broadcast live to our other members who are surely watching closely. If anyone lies, we will see through it. Ok. Now Betany is going to go down the line and ask each of you only one question. You have as long as you need to answer, and you are to give as complete and true an answer as you can. If you cannot answer, that is up to you, but you will be asked to leave the Cult immediately. Do you understand?"

"Yes Sir!" we each agreed, and this made me sweat even harder.

"Betany, please begin."

And so this gorgeous woman with seemingly glowing eyes proceeded to ask each of us one question, and we each answered as best we could. If you wish to know the answers in full you'll have to go to the Interview archive. For the sake of what's important to my story, I'll only tell you here that we learned that Hulk was a failed actor, that Sparrow grew up exceedingly poor and was forced to prostitute herself to support her family when she was a teenager, that Witchy's mother was puritanical and taught her sex was shame, and that Locks also had a terrible relationship with his father for the opposite reason as me. His was hyper masculine and pushed it on Locks. Other than for Hulk, I was beginning to detect a pattern. Parent issues. This made me sweat even more, both for Abby and myself.

To her credit, Abby fought through tears as she spent at least fifteen minutes telling the story of her Christian upbringing and the outsized role her father played in her life. How he was incredibly demanding of her servitude to God, how all she wanted was to please him, and how she never felt she was living up to his expectations. She spoke of her rebellion and alienation from him, and she even managed to fight through her tears to tell everyone how his death left her filled with the seething rage that led her to this moment. I put my arm around as she spoke, and when she was finished she leaned her head on my shoulder. She was clearly upset, but I also sensed a tender vulnerability I had rarely seen in our years together.

Then it was my turn, and as I'd predicted, the question was about my own abuse. "When you first met Him," Betany said, "You spoke of having been abused. Tell us everything you can about this."

I'd only barely outlined this even for Abby, and she never pried. It was not something I'd been fully open about to anyone, and here I was asked to bare myself in front of a small community. I was silent for what must have been an uncomfortable thirty seconds for everyone, but especially Abby. Here she'd just poured her heart out and there was simply no way I could let her down.

So I told them.

Everything.

I told them my mother had divorced my father when I was seven years old. I told them how for the next year we lived with her half the time, and how she regularly left my sister, only three years older than me, to watch me while she went out. I shared how she'd come home drunk with random men, and how my sister and I would sit scared in our bedroom as we heard animal noises coming from our mother's room, and how sometimes the next morning these strange men would still be there. I recalled how when my sister asked what she was doing she told the both of us "I'm looking for a real man to help raise you two. Can you blame me? After years with your father, we need some real masculine energy around here."

Then I got to the hardest part. The part where one man eventually stuck around, and how he was in fact everything my father was not. He was physically imposing. He had always had a five o'clock shadow. He wore white tank tops, smoked cigarettes, drank whiskey, and worked on cars.

I even shared the worst part. I told the story of the time I opened the door of our bedroom to go to the bathroom and there he was walking down the hall naked. I'd never seen a grown man's penis, and even though I was a kid I can tell you this man was huge. He saw me looking and he came over to the door, standing naked in front of me and my sister on her bed behind me.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "You've never seen a real cock before?" Neither of us spoke. "Don't worry, it's just biology, son," he said. Then he stepped in and shut the door. He reached for my sweatpants and yanked them and my underwear down revealing my tiny penis.

He laughed. "Jesus Christ. I know you're just a boy, but that doesn't bode well. From what I've heard about your father, I guess you really are his son." Then he reached over and flicked it as hard as he could. It stung. He looked over at my sister. "You like what you see, don't you sweetie?" and he smiled big and nasty. Then back at me. "Pull your pants up, peanut." He left the room and my sister and I crawled into our own beds and didn't say a word. Just silent shame and fear, and a profound sense of humiliation.

Surprisingly I didn't cry as I said all that. At least not until the very end, when I shared that years later my sister told me over beers that that man, who stayed with us for the next two years before leaving without warning, had done all kinds of terrible things to her when she was left alone with him.

This time Abby had her arm around me. It was hard to get through it all, but I have to say, I was proud I'd done so. I'd never really said it all out loud and now it was out there, witnessed by many, and recorded for posterity.

Radical Honesty. It is absolutely a step toward setting yourself free. I told it in that first interview, and I shared my stories of Jane and Lauren, of my father, and of the seeds of my insecurities in future interviews.

It's just a step though. What really does the trick is what He calls Adult Play.

----

Chapter Five

After my interview finished, the warmth He usually exuded instantly returned and he gave each of us a big hug and told us how proud he was. Then he told us to go spend the rest of the evening in our rooms, and to get a good night's sleep for the activities of the next day. "It's one of the biggest days we have here. We're counting on you."

With that we all returned to our rooms. Abby and I agreed we were both too emotionally spent to do anything except hold each other and fall into a deep slumber.

----

The next morning we woke up to Betany's voice on the television screen. "Good morning, friends! Time to rise and do amazing things!" A couple of minutes later she told us the plan. The morning would be free time to get breakfast and do as we desired. By noon we were to report to the auditorium, where we'd be given lunch and a "script." We'd have time to look that over and prepare for our performance which would take place about an hour later. Then we'd return to our rooms while the community met to discuss our membership, and should we be accepted, they'd vote for the new positions of each member.

Finally, we'd have our naming ceremony which would be the opening of a dinner celebration and ball. And that would begin our lives as members of the Cult. When Betany said this, Abby took my hand and squeezed it. "I'm so fucking excited," she said. She looked so pretty with her big smile. For a moment I wished I really was the sort of man who could just throw her down and take her, but in my heart I knew we were where we needed to be. Her happiness was my happiness. This is called compersion, and He speaks of its importance often.

We went to get breakfast in the cafeteria, and some of the members were there. Apparently several were out preparing a script, set, and costumes for our performance. We were greeted by all with hugs and warm looks. Whatever fear I'd had of being judged was wiped away by their kindness, not to mention a delicious eggs benedict. I wanted to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming. I felt fresh and new, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Here I was in this beautiful place with my beautiful woman, surrounded by beautiful people.

This was about to become our new home, a place where we'd feel a sense of community, where our work would contribute directly to the quality of our community's life, and where we could play as adults like nowhere else.

We were in a place where we were free to be our whole selves. What a thought. But then I remembered that only five of the six of us would become new members. That thought crept in, but I kept it at bay with a few more bites of my delicious breakfast.

For the next few hours we toured some other parts of the campus. The non-pool side of the mansion had a path that led to an enormous garden, replete with perfectly manicured bushes, trees, and flowers. "It's like we've found Eden," I said to Abby.

She grabbed my hands. "My Adam." She leaned in for a kiss.

When she pulled away I replied, "My Eve." It felt something like the first time we ever kissed.

Before we knew it it was time to go to the auditorium. Locks and Witchy arrived almost exactly the same time, and only a minute later, Hulk and Sparrow walked in, exactly on time.

"This is going to be a fucking blast," Hulk said, seeming excited by the idea of putting on whatever performance we were about to put on. This is when Betany came in with that same kindly older man we'd met the day before.

"Ok everyone. Come with me to the stage. She brought us up and pulled open the curtains, revealing a crude set made to look like your average middle class American home. From the front of the stage we were peering into two bedrooms, one with a king sized bed for adults and the other with two twin sized beds for kids. It was all clearly thrown together quickly, but it was realistic enough for anyone with a decent suspension of disbelief.

"Here in the Cult we believe a key to happiness is play. In the outside world kids play. Adults work, and after that they often find ways to deaden themselves in order to forget. Here we don't just entertain ourselves. We play. And one way to do that is through acting, improvisation, performance. As you might have guessed, in a few hours you'll be putting on a play. It's no coincidence that that's what it's called."

This is when she handed us our scripts. "Now, this isn't a full script. What's the fun in that? It's an outline, and you need to use your imaginations to fill in the rest. Make it fun. Make it entertaining. Make it real. Make sense?"

We all said yes. "Good. Now, another way adults play is through sex. Imaginative sex is called role play after all. Do not hesitate to put on a good sexy show. In fact, it's required." I looked over at Abby. She looked back and raised an eyebrow.

Betany continued. "I want to be overt now. One major part of being in the Cult is your ability to share. We expect you to show us you will be capable of sharing." I kept my eye on Abby. She looked away and had that devilish little grin. Suddenly my nerves kicked in and I had that knot in the pit of my stomach feeling.

"And lastly, I've brought my friend here to discuss part of our purpose. Doctor, the floor is yours."

The old man stepped forward. He exuded warmth and intellect. "Now, friends, I'm here to talk a little psychology. We-- I, was so impressed with each of your ability to open up and share your stories last night. One of the best groups of prospects we've seen in years. No doubt you woke up this morning feeling you'd experienced something cathartic. That's good, but it's nothing new. And it's something of an illusion. It's a step, absolutely, but through this play, through Adult Play, you'll take another major step. We aren't merely using this to test you or to enjoy ourselves, though that's a benefit for sure."