All Comments on 'The Horny Sister-In-Law Pt. 01'

Why do writers think 38 dd tits and 9 inch dicks make good story’s?

Can't wait for Part 2!

Its a good concept with the bothers wife being neglected.

Just a couple of points.

The biggest being the lead 'lady' in this story has an adams apple. (Only men have adams apples)

And for a man who cum in 30secs at the sight of her, he held off a long time during the most intense bj of his life.

All that really matters is how one uses what they have. Good visualizations. Keep writing !

It was a 10 inch dick

I stopped reading when I found out that Daniel's cock was " ...at least 10 inches long." Bad enough that his sister-in-law's boobs were " at least double D's".

I was disappointed by the grammar and wrong choice of word, on occasion. English must have changed since I graduated because I just could not get some of the sentence construction in the opening 10 (or so) paragraphs.

Despite your background, I think you need a strong editor to curb your excesses and in particular to curtail your over the top physical descriptions and bad oral sex.

Kimmy you have a very good story happening. I hope you don't keep us waiting for the next installment. The description of the blowjob was very well done. It encompasses the two thing I like. A big cock and a well built gir' Don't let the anonymous nay-sayers keep you from writing. It's your story, tell it anyway you want. It got me all wet and tingly. (read as jilling-off) Hurry, hurry, hurry with the next. Gods she's an animal. Love it.

Chrissie

TBC

Daniels obvious preoccupation with himself makes it impossible for him to really be any good in bed. I found the story boring and didn't bother to finish reading it. There's no development of Jessiicas character at all. And Daniel is only interested in himself and how she looks and improving his chances of getting it in. Boring.

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It upsets me that so many people have such disregard for the language.

You obviously cared only about writing a 'dirty story', and I guess you did.

It sucked.

Liked it just fine when it posted by Deathpoet though.

Hey , I realise this story was published under incest taboo but one small detail annoys me for this class ...

Wife has sexy breasts , pussy and Adam's apple ??

Either check before you publish or get someone to edit prior to publishing , avoids the embarrassing mistakes like that , cheers .

"My big 10 inch"

A killer of a good porn story, along with an older brother who somehow has lost interest in his gorgeous wife with a nice rack ...

These stories of course are fantasy, but when that fantasy reaches too far it becomes absurd.

Yes, this story is exceptionally well written and has so much more potential. Obviously, Jessica wants to not only suck him off again but screw him badly. She needs to feel how good his huge cock will feel and give her the sexual pleasure he husband cannot give. We will need a few more chapters and hopefully very very soon. Thank you.

Well written and with great narrative I am so looking forward to part two

Great Read so far looking forward to some more stories.

Normally I don't complain about the over exaggerated cock measurements in these, but as soon as I saw that his cock head was the size of a tennis ball I was done. Fantasy is one thing but damn keep it believable

But they do actually have a lot of valid points. Though, the adams apple, the cocked as big as a tennis ball (No wonder she couldn't get it in her mouth) or that she had to force herself to get the head inside her mouth not able to fit her lips past the crown. Its as if the author was more into writing about a oversized cock fetish than just erotica.

My first issue was that he 'barely' remembered someone named Jessica that was married to his brother.. having probably seen her before at a family party but couldn't remember her face..

Until he realized she was the sexiest and most beautiful woman in the world...

Holy Continuity error Batman !

The writing is better than many I've seen here, find a good editor to help you out with your work. Keep at it :)

How come so many Americans think it’s classy to drink wine on a daily basis because you can afford it? Where I come from, only alcoholics and beggars drink that much wine…

No Sh*t my new literary friend. That was extremely well done and the timing of the entire encounter was perfect.

Thank You...

Damm!!! Truly the best story I've read yet!

Ok, I know that many readers don’t like what I like.

Spelling issues(ruff, was/were etc.) are one thing but your word choice lacked. Residency? Use your thesaurus and get an editor who can spot these poor choices.

I had little emotional connection to the characters. They’re just two am-moral and horny hotties. It really didn’t seem taboo. That was under developed. Perhaps the wall of words approach hampered my engagement. To me, dialogue conveys subtle emotions and personality that bring a story to life.

That was the BEST play-by-play of a blowjob I have read! You must be an ace yourself, or a careful, artistic observer of good porn. Thank you. I will enjoy reading more.

This is one of the most descriptive in depth stories that I have read on this website so far. It made me feel like I was sitting right there next to them. I can't wait to continue this story with the next chapter.

Why does the wife ring the doorbell to their house ?

Am I the only one that caught that ?

I had such high hopes for this story but it didn't take long to lose all interest. First, she rings the doorbell to her own house. Why? Second, Dan is surprised by her appearance after trying to imagine what she looks like. If they met at the wedding, why is he trying to imagine what she looks like? I don't know if there's more wrong with the story because I couldn't keep reading after that.

I thought it was a good story. You built the tension well. Everything was described well, and a pretty good use of language. The dialogue wasn't clunky. Could use some editing though. I'm going to keep reading. Thanks

Almost 2 pages for just a blow job? Too long and boring. I'm done.

Women do not have Adam's Apples. Are we going to find out later that Jessica is a super hot shemale, or was that an editing fail?

Enjoyed the story, maybe a few edits? Doorbells and never meeting your brothers wife? Also around the shower scene he wearing a towel then shorts finally pants with in one scene. Too bad literotica doesnt have a wiki option to help updates. Awesome story thanks for the work!