All Comments on 'The House Pt. 01'

Oooh this is interesting. I want to say she got into drugs. That sort of personality change has happened and drugs is usually one of the big reasons. The biggest culprit though involves stuff that drastically messes with hormones like Postpartum depression. Switching birth control either to or from a hormone based one also. Or also changing something about their antidepressants. Either stopping or switching to a new one. And the least likely but also does the trick is brain tumors.

It's really scary stuff because of how their personality changes so drastically. It's not common but when it does happen it makes absolutely no sense to anyone in the family and they just don't care. Talked to a dude and his wife was a stay at home mom. Suddenly she just up and flew across the country to be with another man leaving their toddler home alone for the husband to find. Husband made decent money and had their own home and the guy she left for lived in his mothers basement, and was fat and bald. Husband thinks it had to do with her switching anti depressants.

Very interesting and unique.

Looking forward to the next part.

Please post it soon.

4.5/5

The prose is a bit helter skelter, sometimes hitting the reader with thoughts like from a machine gun. Big words in simple sentences distracts from the message. I do enjoy the general storyline and there are some interesting plot lines wrapped in the narrative, but not sure only two chapters is enough time to play them out. 3.6*

Good start to the story, can’t wait to read part 2. 4*

Good start! Can't wait for part 2.

Too early to rate but if I did now, it would be a 5*. The story is captivating and I hope the change in focus from the husband to the wife doesn't damage the beautiful foundation you've built here.

Difficult to come up with something new in LW, but this one is intriguing so far. Author captured the angst of being dumped very well. Looking forward to Chapter Two.

Nicely done story so far.

I like a mystery. D

I liked the plot so far but feel like there's no emotion in the story

Don't make us wit. That's what I do-unintentionally. 5 stars, the Bear can't wait. The bitch (small 'b') deserves whatever she gets, and I don't know why. Please, hurry.

The BEAR

Interesting. His wife was coldly indifferent when he confronted her. After 14 years either he is wildly unobservant or his wife checked out of the marriage long before he caught her fucking around. The ex's sudden health issue could take this tale in several directions. Like many others, you have me completely engaged.

Fundamentally one of the weirdest ones I have come across: but still entertaining.

5 stars

The only thing I don't like about this story is the fact that you keep using "me" instead of "i". To be grammatically correct you would say "Elaine and I" never "Elaine and me". I understand that the education system is under great stress and is falling apart but if you are publishing stories it is much better to be correct.

Looking forward to the next part

This is a first for me. Usually, I find myself liking a highly rated LW story (4+ stars) but I actually hated this one. The whole plot line just sucks and the writing is atrocious. Ever hear of contractions? And it seems all the MC ever does is wallow in pity and drink scotch. My suggestion is to go back to school and learn proper English, then learn how to write properly. Pathetic! 1*

When the story started we learn he has two sons who he apparently has little or no interaction with, and he turns to alcohol to assuage his feelings. While Elaine was pretty matter of fact about becoming a guiltless whore, she never refused to discuss her choices or their future. She asked the husband if that's the way its going to be, the husband made it clear it was, so Elaine appears to have gone along with it. The blind deaf and dumb cuck just slinks away to drown his sorrows in booze. It makes the wife's adultery seem explainable if not justified. He wallows in self doubt but does nothing to find out what went wrong with his marriage. How intelligent it that? It appears Elaine is going to have to tell us herself, if she lives. Can't wait to find out if she's pregnant, or just thought fucking around might wake her drab complacent husband up. Of course she might also come to realize that Grace is the better woman for her ex husband and her sons, and was trying to remove herself from their lives. Except most cheating sluts aren't that generous. Guess we'll find out.

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But then the husband turns into the very thoughtful erudite student of people and life, studying strangers while ignoring his own wife. Its like he has become a different person. Oh, the house. He becomes a master of sex and seduction, after 14 years of just plain old dad and apparently boring husband. But using the house to justify morphing the character is too cute, and lame. Your MC is at least two different people so far, wonder if he'll become a third. It seems odd that Grace is not concerned about this guy seeking solace in a bottle when his marriage failed. Or even worse, that for some reason this interesting curious man has not yet bothered to find out what went wrong with Elaine and/or him. What does that say about him? She's a researcher. Questions and puzzles are to be investigated, understood, solved. This guy just walked away. Not good.

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If you turn this story into some kind of polyamory I will hunt you down. Elaine may need help, but unless she's had a true accident it appears she in no longer a fit mother. She hasn't been a fit wife since she became a cheating whore. Overall a very compelling and interesting story, but still fuckupable. I hope you don't. I will wait to rate the finished product.

I'll wait before I get to score.

But sorry to say this, I almost stop because it was kinda boring...

But it is just chap. 1 so hopefully the intensity will pick up in chap. 2.

Writing is somewhat confusing and as another comment said, all over the place at times.

Well, I really liked it though I found the ending really disturbing.

I was curious about just what was going on with Elaine and I guess I'll have my answers soon.

Thank you for an enjoyable, entertaining read.

Amazing story, and from one of my favorites. The first half I felt like I was reading from behind- not quite getting it and feeling like it was going over my head. Very fast paced with a lot packed into it, but the more I read the more it came together. Loved the story, and can't wait for part 2. Another 5 from me.

This has the makings (by my standards at least) of a great story. The writing is great, the story line, so far, is captivating. You have built a great foundation. I await the next chapter and hope I will be able to say that it is truly one of my all time favorites.

Good ,5*

Well done. Looking forward to more.

Great first part, totally engaged, it's an interesting story and I look forward to more.

Just got a kick out of anonymous. So the husband is an ass? A bad husband who is inattentive? He seems pretty engaged with his boys at any rate. One thing that bothered me is he does not argue paying for the house as well as alimony and child support. His wife should pay half. Alimony is usually limited to a few years as well. In most states it is designed to let the spouse get on her (or his) feet. All that was sloughed over like it did not matter.

It should have. Especially since the wife was obviously going to continue her lifestyle of screwing around. Sometimes, just living well after a divorce is not enough. You left it with the woman with 'goo around her mouth'. I assume that is the kid's assessment of her mouth frothing like in a seizure of some sort.

The magical, alien controlled (or not) house is a nice twist.

Wow, very nice. Can't wait for part 2. I'm assuming the house is waiting for the divorce to be final for him to actually win the lottery. :-)

I suspect Pt. 2 will be published tonight. I had to smile, the first commenter was right in the reason for the betrayal. Drug use is fortunately something I know nothing about. A quick look at statistics in the US says that ~80,000 die annually from drug overdose while ~40,000 die from traffic accidents. (a third of traffic fatalities are due to alcohol). So, a rough estimate would be that one is four times more likely to die from drug abuse than from an auto accident - a shocking number, IMO. Thanks for the comments.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ great story.

I appreciate all comments, @shoprat gets my prize for the alien waiting on the lottery win - that would be a great touch. @kiwihunter Elaine and me can be proper, after preposition, for instance, not saying I was always right.

Very nice indeed. Well written.

Loved it

Unfortunetly women seem to change sometimes for no obvious reason to others involved. And when questioned about it they either give an unreal answer or worse still none at all. I suspect changes in their bodies as they grow older. This may hormones or changes in their brain. They dont understand themselves quite often and l think this is where the old statement " A woman is allowed to change her mind if or when she wants to," even if there is no credible reason why, and you just have to accept it and take the result on the chin if you disagree. The silly part is they quite often regret the action later. Probably when their logical mind starts working again. They are sometimes a strange creature but men are drain to them by nature. It is not always a pussy that brings that about, men quite often, are just drawn to them and dont know why. What the old saying " You cant live with them but you cant live without them. " So l guess men are stuffed no matter what as always.

Great story wherd is pt 2

Totally weird story, too off the wall.... pretty flakey and inconsistent.

Innn-teresting. I love the different plotline. Like the previous poster, it lacks emotion. Perhaps in writing this juuuuuu-st right, you got a little too technical and left some of the human emotion out of it, especially the dialogue. Perhaps adding some context, such as feelings, emotional responses, facial expressions, etcetera to the dialogue would add that back into the story.

It seemed a good btb, but quickly became a flat and boring tale about an unbeliavable childish and broken down drunk husband. Too many words to say very little and almost nothing about the initial and the final confrontation with his bitch wife. No good at all, this first part.

That was different….and very very good. Once I got accustomed to tne pace and rhythm of the storytelling, I couldn’t get enough.

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Elaine is a real enigma in this tale. Am looking forward to next part to get some answers.

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5 *****

This is a really good start. I looked at your previous multi-chapter stories and I see weeks or months between chapters. I hope this time your story is finished and all parts are in edit and you will post them every day or two I'll give you 5 of 5 for this good start and good plot line devlopment.

3 stars - but I'll wait to see which way this goes. Hopefully, this MC will ride the magical good fortune and not rock the boat for the stupid ex-wife SLUT.

The slut got exactly what she asked for - a chance to test out if she still had 'IT'. The added plus she no longer is tied down to a husband, BUT she has two boys who will be entering their teens - hahaha - good luck with that.

Whatever happens to most married women in their late thirties to late forties (hormones is the usual culprit). In hind sight, I would have chosen to send my wife off to an Caribbean island just for women approaching menopause. They could sit around every day and do all those 'women things' just to ease the transition - years if necessary. However, mine went back to university and I never saw much of her for about ten years - it ended the same way.

Very extraordinary. The plot is starting to look like a Moebius strip. I wish you the best with the next chapter.

Intriguing and perfectly paced with an emotional pull towards the characters . I’m more than impressed and can’t wait for part 2 . Five stars and a standing ovation

Very interesting beginning!

5

5* I didn't read this until part 2 was posted (I haven't read it yet). I am glad as I am very keen to see what happens next. This is very well written, nicely balanced and intriguing.

I REALLY loved this--a truly unique take on a haunted house, and a very nice depiction of a life turning around. Overall, just a really fun, well-written, joyous story!

I like how Grace talked with the boys that first time.

I liked the story, something different from the norm here. The house has powers or aliens either way like the twist. Will be reading pt 2…..

Thanks for sharing!

5 👽👽👽👽👽

It's not bad, but probably a better fit for the Romance category. Sure, there was a cheating wife to kick off events, but there was no real marital drama and conflict. They just kind of went "Okay. See you 'round. Or not." and that was it. The focus and emotion was much more focused on his recovery, aka romance, and thus I would have put this in that category.

Lost me after the first paragraph. Should be in the weirdo category.

A Good story very different and i hope part 2 will tell me more Would like to say more BUT Literotica will not allow me to register so I will keep my thoughts to myself (jaybee186)

Just wondering what is wrong with common every day words. Notice lots of writers shy away from them. Readers need to have a dictionary handy.

Interesting story. Thanks for your writing.

Great story hopefully Don doesnt reconcile with the whore.

Don't care for this. 2*

The style and layout made this too much hassle to read and track abandoned after half a page.

Loved it. Fiction for the educated. Very clever and snappy. On to the next...

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Extraordinary and very clever, and utterly unique, story!

Odd but entertaining as well.

Kind of silly in a nice way and believable due to the warning about things the author gave us in the introduction of the story. Worth reading and enjoying.

Great story and an ending with a real cliff hanger.