All Comments on 'The Infinite Bk. 01 Ch. 06'

Delete the past two chapters and rewrite, unless you plan to revive Tin somehow. You introduced her as the major female lead, made us care about her, even did that sickness thing to show what losing her would do to the story, and then derailed everything for no apparent reason. I don’t intend to keep reading a story about a cold passionless man with nothing to live for strutting about doing nothing that matters. I was here for the character development and the relationship between your protagonists...

~A concerned fan

"Don't worry about it. I already killed your brother and his son."- thanks for that line. I was really hoping he would get revenge.:)

Also thanks for the great chapter.

Really enjoying the story. Keep it up! Also Akisame-sensei would be proud.

I already miss her.

I'm probably wrong, but I think she'll be making a comeback.

I do like the conflict raging inside of Noah and all the contradictions that make up his nature.

Playing off Tin's death as inconsequential to those around him, while his actions prove otherwise, even if he's not yet capable of admitting it to himself.

For those wondering... (and of course I have no idea if this is your intent), but the mechanism for Tin's return is already built into the background of the story... The multiverse Noah navigates.

All he has to do is to die...

Of course this doesn't mean I'm not still miffed about Tin's death in the first place, but at least it's allowed you to develop Noah's character even further...

I also very much like that you don't make the mistake of overly explaining things. You make us follow along and discover things through hints and bit and pieces, through the conversations between you character, through their comportment and their actions.

It keeps the mystery, it keeps us speculating and guessing... it keeps us interested in knowing more, in wanting the next installment of this story.

Very, very different from Master, Master!, but in a good way. Some hints of I dream of Angels, but more developed.

I get the feeling (and I hope I'm right in this), that you have your ducks in a row and your storyline mapped out at least in broad strokes. This is a good things, and something a lot of authors here should be practicing a whole lot more.

Keep up the good work!

If you start over you can have home die in the dungeon crab and restart but this time save her

I've noticed a few things that I hope don't become a permanent thing, things like shouting out moves before they attack, I really hope the RPG or anime theme doesn't continue, the next thing we'll be seeing is hit points.

I'm guessing I've found another fan of Kenichi, with that pink muscle talk lol.

And great, now that the other commenters have brought it up, I'm like Ch 1 Noah, looking forward to his next death so he can have another chance with the girl.

I love the writing style, but it feels like you're trying too hard to reinforce the "I'm old and don't care anymore" attitude. While the image translates well in a visual medium through body movement and expressions, an occasional reminder through turn of phrase or slight action is usually sufficient for a written story.

Until you made the claim about scurvy, I thought the pine needle tea was just an invention for this story. But I just looked it up and it's legit! Tons of antioxidants, vitamins, and a fresh, sweet flavor makes me want to try some!

It's fun seeing him in a leadership role, passing on wisdom to the group. Thanks for your work on this!

This group is being led by a suicidal, cold, ruthless, calculating, experienced killer. I sense disaster ahead, though I could be wrong. Let's see. 👀

YOUR STORY: Captivating and well paced. The reader may enjoy it a lot more however if you proof read it before posting and/or had an editor review it for simple mistakes that break the flow.

I look forward to seeing where this story goes.

Thank you for the story and your effort.

Training montage!

I really like the story but there are a few major flaws in your thinking. First if you are wearing leather armor, you are wearing no armor. Leather cannot slow down or stop an arrow unless it is so thick you would not be able to move. Leather is also nearly useless against slashing and piercing attacks. Proper chain mail is better and about the same weight. I used to build armor for myself and others. Some cosmetic made out of aluminum and some real made from steel with each ring peened closed. No plate though it would take a full blacksmith shop and years of training.

Why is it that modern people think that you wear a six foot sword on your back. It is impossible to draw from there. I am six feet tall and my arm length is 25 inches. If you have two feet of grip above your shoulder, you still have 4 feet of blade behind your back. You do the math. You cannot draw the blade, at least not easily. That is Hollywood's dumb idea. If you look at pictures from the middle ages they carried those long swords on their shoulder, much like a firearm. A good two hander weighed less than most long guns until modern times.

Otherwise great story!

I would’ve held out on the invisibility… f@$# Trevor you know he’s going to be a backstabbing sob and oath character is still up in the air.. freezing mid attack bah

Swords on the back are for one thing only…. Tied back there for transport, that’s it. You can’t draw an award from a scabbard or anything else because at full arm extension half the sword is still in the scabbard and that’s with an arming sword, the shortest of swords at just 80cm-85cm in blade length.

Leather armour. That whole name is an oxymoron. You can make armour of low grade from leather that is boiled hard and then laminated with natural resin or animal glues into thicker very hard pieces. Then these pieces are made into the shapes of the plates of real steel armour so you can move. 6mm of very well made boiled leather laminated armour can stop a war arrow shot from an English War Longbow. Just.

Unhardened leather is just a shirt or a vest. A sharp knife, dagger, any sword, any arrow will just slice through like it’s not even there. The soft animal fibres are very very susceptible to piercing and slash attacks. Piercing attacks render the soft leather useless to the point of it not being there.

So, it’s a shame that I know about medieval arms and armour a bit because it ruins this story because I know how stuff really works. First buy… A steel helmet. Second buy… A welded link or riveted link chain mail shirt to the wrists and the knees. Not welded or riveted then hard pass, useless. Now your impervious against stabs and slashes but will get impact damage, so now buy a padded under shirt (I forgot its name).

The bit where he tells the group that he stabbed his father in the back and made him a paraplegic was out of left field and really dark. The rest of the party really should have reacted negatively, for good reason: he’s become psychopathic. The overall trope of the main character and how he’s nearly omniscient takes away from the story. A more convincing mechanic would have been him getting his memories/skills back slowly, over time. Flashbacks, etc. Like many stories here on Lit, the premise is neat, but needs serious wordsmithing.

I like the fact that Oath has lived enough that he has the ability to channel both the altruistic good and the psychotic chaos of prior experiences. I wonder if he has lost touch with the sheer joy of life and the sharing of kindness. It will be interesting to see if he develops in these areas.

Sorry -- our hero -- not Oath.