All Comments on 'The Infinite Bk. 01 Ch. 08'

Getting exciting

The only issue I really have so far with this story is that the chapters posted are so short! I would really love to be able to read longer because it is very interesting. Also... I miss Tin :(

This chapter feels rushed. You had a lot more typos and it's rather short. It's not like you're on a deadline. Take your time and reread your work rather than relying on spell and grammar check. Killing off Tin nearly made me quit reading this but I thought I'd give you the chance to see where you were going with it. However Noah's actions since seem all over the place and make him unlikable. It's hard to tell what is and isn't in his nature. His comments to the people at the inn about Tin were really messed up. Also hooking up with Beth seemed logical but not so soon and so callously. Now in this chapter his joke about splitting up wasn't very funny and seemed really out of character. The others having no reaction to the nearly emotionless Noah making a joke for the first time seemed quite strange. It's a small thing but it really stood out as a pointless and bizarre interaction between your characters. Also suddenly having gas masks and a bomb without any kind of mention of him making them is a missed opportunity and feels a little lazy. It would have been interesting and padded out your chapter to throw a few paragraphs in about that. You started this out really strong and you have some really great ideas but your MC is a pretty terrible person and you killed off the character giving him balance and a reason to change for no apparent purpose. You have a lot of potential as a writer so please don't be discouraged by my comments. I think you need to plan out your story better and take the time to check for errors. Getting editing help might not be a bad idea either. Writing is hard and you can't make everyone happy. I'm gonna stick with you for a few more chapters at least so please keep trying.

Nah, I wouldn't buy that last explanation. No way he is a magically invisible, miner, alchemist, adventurer, fitness traininer, ect. Beth has to be suspicious of his backstory heh. One of those 'fine keep your secrets'

Yo now its getting interesting:)

Now...it's getting even BETTER!

It was okay. But I hate two page chapters. Not much progress gets made.

I waited until there was no more to read to comment . You are an interesting , very good author and story teller . I hope you have had good feed back on this one and plan to continue . I will patiently await coming chapters to this potentially very long tale . Thanx for writing .

After reading some comments . It appears that either they missed or forgot that Noah has died and been reborn or relived or so many times that he gets them all confused sometimes . So it is no surprised that he has this vast extensive knowledge . Beyond all reason . Newly learned magic in a more primitive new world for him has left him a little more vulnerable . But being a quick learner and lots of savvy . He takes on apprentices to strengthen his position and protect him in this new world . He's like an intelligent sponge . Lol .

Thanks!

I have work in a few hours

Chaos with a little organization.

I Miss Tin.

"Dirt and broken stone covered most of the floor, seeping in from the shell's opening. Luckily, this meant that Beth would have something to work with to use her spells".

Not Beth, but Mari.

This is still going strong, keep it up.

I was wondering when he would make black powder. Nice touch with the gas mask. This was a well-paced, exciting chapter.

I miss Tin too. She was the best part of the story imho!