All Comments on 'The Intern Pt. 03'

Me gusta la historia, pero siento que se quedaron atrás todos los diálogos creativos. Además, esa explicación que hace Greg sobre el vaginismo es algo...

Bueno,entiendo que quieras explicar un poco sobre esta condición y es fantástico eso, pero la manera en que Greg lo explica durante la cena suena un poco forzado, además de irreal porque se supone que Gillian ya fue al doctor por ese detalle, y es extraño que no sepa más que Greg de eso

Beautiful. Thank you for writing this series.

The description of this chapter threw me but glad it worked out or seems to be working out for them, although a little concerned about the last page.

Your writing is brilliant and has had me captivated through all 3 chapters so far. Despite both their "troubles" there ere touches of humour when you write, eg.

1. "Gently? How? With a pitchfork?" I muttered

2. My vaginal version of PTSD. (Actually both are serious conditions but sometimes if you don't laugh you'll cry.)

3. Yes... I'm certain the Vatican will have you beatified when they hear about it, Saint Gregory. I'll be sure to write them a detailed account of your sufferings.

Just brilliant. Cannot wait for the 4th and last chapter? 5 stars

Anonymous (Espanol): Thank you for noticing this! You are absolutely right! It's a bit of a mystery why Gillian didn't get more information out of being brought to the doctor about her condition before. Women can have very different results from going to different doctors about a less-known condition like vaginismus, but the reason also has to do with Gillian and the people who brought her to the doctor (and their motives in enabling her to have sex) - more in Part 4. Hopefully it will make more sense then. Thank you for thinking about it so much!

Anonymous (English): Thank you - I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

Anonymous (Espanol): Part 2 - you're absolutely right about the dialogue, too. Part of it is a conscious choice. I enjoyed the subtle fencing between the two intelligent characters, at first, too. As Gillian relaxes, though, she becomes less controlled and less guarded in her speech, and Greg adjusts along with her - which is partly what I'm trying to show with the more relaxed dialogue. They are people growing more comfortable and trusting with each other - so they don't have to show off and simultaneously protect themselves with clever banter as much. At least, that was what I was going for.

For a continual high level of rapier wit to seem credible between two people, I think it would have to be a different story - maybe two people kept apart (for whatever reasons) and the dialogue needed to be the only fun and intimacy of the relationship... and I might have to write that story, someday!

Speaking of “rapier wit” . . .

I’m quite certain I have you pegged. You are not an amateur writer. No amateur hack can burst through with such apparent skill. Jillian’s inner monologue is both touching and hilarious, and your handling of dialogue is brilliant. This may be your first attempt at erotica, but it’s clear that you’re a writer. And a damn good one. I don’t write many comments here, but I hope you’ll notice I’ve now commented on all three chapters. I recognize talent when I see it.

But, being an old academic who taught writing without ever really publishing anything, I have a bone to pick.

I’ve very recently discovered that I have an overwhelming affinity for DD/lg stories. I really can’t tell you how ecstatic I was when this story suddenly fell into my new favorite genre. But that’s the issue: it came so very suddenly. Jillian’s transformation into a “little” - virtually within one day - was more than a bit rushed. I’m very happy you’ve landed in that very sweet spot, but I felt a bit cheated that there was not enough narrative dedicated to her transition from the adamant individualist to a submissive little.

But don’t mind me. I’m the guy railing that there’s no real motivation for Macbeth to transition from hero to murderer.

It’s still a story head and shoulders above the rest.

BTW:

I’m hoping this story develops more deeply - way beyond chapter 4.

Oops! Just saw this story wasn’t your first submission, but I stand by my assessment of your talent.

Mr. R. Wit: I will insist on my amateur writing status lest I forego my place on the US Olympic Erotica team! I have never formally published, and just about everyone I know would be shocked that I produce such literature! I do like to write, though - and I've thought about doing the whole publishing thing, but I lack uninterrupted time at the moment. I'm also thrilled that an academic finds my work tolerable! Yay!

Gillian did kind of fall backwards into DD/lg (had to look that acronym up, actually!) but I think it was a natural direction for her to go. With her lack of childhood, and her need to control intimate situations in the past, upon having someone she trusted who understood her condition and limitations (which was several weeks later and not just 1 day, if you read their messaging portion), I could easily see Gillian enjoying the chance to let a "daddy" take care of her a bit. She's never had the chance to let loose before, and she is an impulsive, falling-ass-backwards into things kind of person, at times. But you're right, of course, while all that may have gone on in my head, it didn't exactly make it into the text, did it?

At any rate - thanks for all these thoughts!

On the topic of vaginal health, I think I’ve read that anal to vag is a common source of bacterial infection and chronic pain. I have no personal experience though.

Yeah, A to V is never a good idea. Life is too excited to grow in that environment - whether human or bacterial. I tried to be careful to avoid that. Keep it clean, people!