All Comments on 'The Invisible Woman'

I'm sorry you didn't like it. Is there anything you can tell me to improve my future stories? I've been a long time reader but this is my first time putting any of my work out there. I know I'm pretty green and that my style needs work. And I genuinely would love to hear what your thoughts are as far as points to work on :)

Thanks

Not sure what Anonymous' issue with it was. Perhaps he was hoping for something longer. I would certainly agree with that. Thanks for posting.

Short, but a good story. And ignore the AnonyMouse. This Mouse "wastes X minutes of my time" reading so many stories it hates, that you wonder what else it does with its time. At least you weren't told you were a retard or various other derogatory terms authors usually get from this loon.

I liked the technique of changing from past to present tense from reality to dream. Present tense is difficult to make work well in a story and I don't usually like it, but it seemed to go well here. (Although one past tense 'fucked' did slip in during the dream.)

Female voice by genuine female authors is under-represented in Literotica stories. Thus insecurity rarely gets explained, or how a woman may respond to her insecurities. This story suggests an author who may later explore more of what goes on within a woman's thoughts in response to her situation.

I felt it was a pity this story wasn't posted in the Loving Wives category. It wasn't really an Erotic Coupling; anything but in fact. The commentary from the LW commenters would have been interesting. (Although the score would have been much lower. LW scores and comments are not determined by how well the story is written.)

I look forward to the next Phaetellia submission.

Lue

I liked the pace of the story. I think a more melancholy ending would work. Don't stop writing!!! This was good.