by Grey Eagle 286
First half was good. It started to get preposterous when he left the clinic.
Question - If he didn't have a will why did he just have his lawyler write one and file it?
A well-written and very intriguing tale, thanks for an interesting and fun read.
Stated out exciting, real interesting. Then it got ridiculous with his wealth, instant family, etc.
Rushed to marry and fused to end the story. I felt I closed my eyes and missed it.
WELL, THE STORY HAD GREAT PROMISE, BUT YOU THREW IN TOO MUCH MUSHY STUFF AND RUSHED INTO THE MARRIAGE. THE STORY COULD HAVE GONE FURTHER WITH MORE DRAMA. NO ONE GETS MARRIED IN TWO WEEKS AFTER FIRST SIGHT! ESPECIALLY A DIVORCEE WHO WAS CHEATED ON. THEY WOULD HAVE SOME MAJOR TRUST ISSUES FIRST. 3***+1* FOR EFFORT.
Oh Man!.I was was really starting to enjoy the story and Poof and it's all over red rover..5 stars☆☆☆☆☆
Not your best, but decent. The ending was too quick. Nancy is going yo jail for conspiracy to commit murder, and attempted murder. Farrell will probably turn states evidence. Imagine how Nancy will react when not only see finds out that she will be spending years away, but that Ham was married before the attempt (and therefore the addendum was null and void).
Story so 3 stars
Wound heals awfully fast sorry too many guys shot in Nam physically tough don't heal that fast from serious wound
Where all help during her orgy workers blind
Cars etc park where driving in etc
Few glitches
No three way with the twin Dr and Cop? No handcuffs? No really good botique Rx? No horses, or sheep?
You could have done so much more with this!
Great story with believable characters. I hope to read all of your stories soon. I have really enjoyed the ones I've read thus far. Now onto the next chapter....
I liked the story concept and the opening scene was well crafted. However, the farther into the story we went the more it jumped around until I felt I was trying to do dance to the "Herky Jerky" song. Rushed too hard to get to the end and missed the opportunity to smell some roses along the journey; the courtship, building a relationship with a child, how a "world's best attorney" makes a major slip up, etc. Just way too many loose ends.
About a page or two too short. Your endings end to soon. You really need to transtion the ending of your stories a little neater.
I agree,with @studebakerhawk your stories are a page short.
So just 3* for encouraging you & please finish the damn story.
...I like a lot of your stories but so many of them end at least a page short.
But... feeding orange peel to pigs = orange flavoured bacon -- true!!
They tried fish meal & got fishy bacon --- Yeeeech! = also true!
Grey Eagle does a 'nice' story and has great plot ideas but the plots lack detail and too often the ends are rushed
Has he stopped writing??
4*
And this is one of the times it worked well -
You tied up all the loose ends before the finale - so that when it executed everything was complete -
We know who all the players are - they all get caught with their fingers in the cookie jar, the hero gets the girl, his good life, a daughter and working on another child - all done move along ROFL.
nice one. seemed like the end was rushed, but still a very nice story
I little hard to follow at times, but it was entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
Well worth the price I paid to read it: zero.
Actually, I thought this was a really intriguing little story. I really enjoyed it an awful lot. Not a Floridian myself, I am still very familiar with the area where this story was set. I thought you did a fine job with it. Thanks for a really good read.
One of the best I've read on this site. Thanks for a great read.
Grey Eagle you will always be my favorite writer I wish you were still writing these great stories We Miss you.
Please come back to US.
Pat
Yes That was Incredible and well written to that should have been made into a movie .lol
Pat
Well written but seemed just a little wordy at times---maybe just me. But then the ending seemed short, alittle quick. For instance--was it Farrell?
Loved the story.
Sad when they get together. Nice pace, good story, and just enough spice to make it nice.
Keep up the good work.