All Comments on 'The Island'

Very good. I would like a continuation and for Liz to come back and join the relationship. This has real potential. Well written and well plotted.

overall, a good read. could be much better with some good old fashioned proofreading. especially the last 10-12 or so paragraphs as there was way too many mistakes that simply distracted from the story thus keeping me from rating this higher. calling Janice "Liz" several times really took the wind out of the sails for me as did saying 'sweet' instead of 'sweat'. the bottom line is you're better than this (having read some of your other works) to rush what has the potential to be lots better. slow down, reread maybe get a good editor. keep writing!

Not bad, but a few too many typos mar the story. Not sure if they're typos or you just don't know how to spell. Also, most normal people speak in contractions, and your refusal to use them made the dialogue seem very strange and unnatural.

I can't help but give it 5*, but damn, you left us in the middle of nowhere. What's next for them? Did Liz and his sister hookup? Not sure I liked the "summation" on lIz as it really had no basis on what was presented in the story, but it was believable. What's going on with the parents? Clearly you left a lot of other plot lines unanswered, but again, what you did present was quality work. 5*

Thank you for everyone's early feedback. Unfortunately I posted before I saved the edits from my final read through. I have submitted the revised copy and I hope it will be posted quickly.

That being said. I would love to find a reliable editor, but I have had a hard time finding one (both through the VE page and the editor forum). If anyone would like to volunteer, please let me know. It would be much appreciated.

The names were getting mixed up

he is "worried" about his sister.. parents went ER with sister and what does he do ? Enjoys a good fuck with Liz, who cares..

I enjoyed it!

Good story. Definitely needing a bit of edit work, 5 stars

This was very well done and extremely hot. But yes, there was some confusion with names being mixed up. Other than that, amazing sexy story.

Indescribably awesome story. I hope there's more to come when she gets a break from school soon. A well deserved 5, and I would give it more if there were any more. Thank you for a fantastic story indeed.

A little quirky, but a fun read.

A few of the names were switched around, but It was a great read overall, great job

I hope that there is a bit of closure with the Liz situation, like they meet in college, but that might be too generic, and too often used

Great story overall 10/10

I came somewhere between Janice guiding her brother's hands to her breasts and her sliding his penis in between her legs. I didn't care for the final exchange of "I love you", though. That felt false. I don't want sibling sex to be an expression of deep love, but an expression of out-of-control teenage hormones, and taboos overcome. Thankfully most of the story, it was the latter that drove the seductions forward. As for characterization, Liz and her Stanford pedigree seemed half-baked to me. I also appreciated the main character's rejection of doggie style sex as being not intimate enough. I feel the same. My favorite scene in the whole story was the lightning cabin-cuddle between Janice and her brother. Having the two use a shared fiction (her fear of the storm) to put themselves in a position of intimacy was pitch perfect. Well done.

Superb premise.

Beautifully told. Well written.

Nice, slow action. Not rushed.

Could have used a bit more step-by-step action such as with Liz's blowjob. And more dialog with it. During it.

You write: "It's going to be alright," You meant ALL RIGHT.

Five stars.

I remember spending my summers at my grandparents place, where we would sleep up on the sleeping porch under the stars. We slept on ancient hospital beds and we had rolls of clear plastic to pull over us if it would rain during the nights. If it rained, there would be lightning and thunder, counting the seconds between the flash and the thunder. The house is still standing, but the sleeping porch is long gone, but not the memories.

Thanks, 5+

A very well written story. I feel there must have been a lot of thought given. Maybe, just maybe, some experience as well.

Love the story. I remember when going on family vacations me and my step brother would have to share a room. Few times share a bed. My parents didn't know I was give him bjs all the time. The first time we had to share a bed I let him fuck me. I was 14 and he was 15. He was not my first I had sex with his friends there was 4 different ones that I hooked up with plus a few others from school. I still have sex with my step brother from time to time now. We r both married. My husband doesn't know.

Not sure what to make of the story. It was neither full of lust nor full of love. The writing was good though. Thanks for sharing this with us.

I do realise that Americans worship hallucinogenic materials but I absolutely HATE it when they say 'drug' instead of 'dragged'!

Example "... when I drug myself out of the water"!