The Journal of a Connecticut Yankee Ch. 06

"Um, kinda. We have some... mutual acquaintances. He asked me to give a message to you..."

"Arawn?! Arawn? Where are you!?" She frantically yelled aloud suddenly.

At the sound of her voice, Arawn barged in, appearing by my side.

"Takana, my love." He breathed.

A brunette Succubus wearing a white lab coat and an Incubus... nurse(?) rushed through the door to see what the commotion was.

"You!" The Succubus Doctor shouted, glaring angrily at Arawn, "You know you can't be near here, you're undoing all the therapy we have been performing to get her better!"

"Noooo, Arawn!!" Takana wailed, small tendrils of her body flailing about in the tub, reaching for him. She seemed to be in a hallucinatory state as she saw him. Her eyes large and full of pain at seeing her lost lover. It was one of the most heartbreaking moments I had ever seen...

Looking over to me, the Doc commanded, "Get him out of here or I'll have you both thrown out!"

"Come on," I said softy as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him away. He didn't resist, I had the feeling that if he did, I would be in real trouble.

"Takana, I will always love you!" He called back to her as we left. We could hear her shouts of his name and of the doctors and nurses trying to calm her, echoing from the walls.

His grief and pain was on display for all to see and my heart bled to see him like that as we traveled back. Even though I had just met this man, I understood his suffering. Leading him down the hallways through the corridors to the exit, I comforted him as best as I could.

Once outside, Arawn escaped my grasp and walked a few steps away, breathing heavily, trying to compose himself. I gave him his space, opting to look around my surroundings.

I didn't notice but looking up, I saw a red full moon surrounded by clouds. That struck me as odd seeing as how it was lighter out then if it were actually night. It was still muggy as hell, the air seemed to stick all over my body and reminded me of those nights in Florida when I was on vacation with my folks. An image of a certain blonde in a sun dress appeared in my head.

Fuck, no thank you!

I did NOT need her ass after me with all the shit I had going on. Jesus, next thing you know I'll be on Jerry Springer with the lot of them. "Help, I'm trapped in a love square with a Cheshire that has a split personality and a psycho stalker Goddess!"

In retrospect that would his greatest show to date though, definitely Emmy award-winning.

"My... My apologies. I should not have done this. I should not have requested we go here. I fear I have ruined our evening." He said with his back to me.

"Hey man, I get it," I said with my arms spread, "Shit happens, life happens, we all got issues. Love and life, they're both bitches, trust me I know. I got a girl out there that's pregnant with my kid and she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Someone that is not your wife?" He asked, turning to me.

"Okay, I know how that sounds and makes me look but there's a good explanation!" I said hurriedly, holding up a finger to him, "How about we go grab a drink and swap some stories, huh?"

I saw his eyes doing that weird shifting thing again before he answered,

"Agreed, perhaps this night may yet be salvaged."

"That's the spirit!" I exclaimed with as much gusto as I could manage. Walking over, I threw an arm around his shoulder and said, "Come on, buddy. You, me, some booze, everything will be alright. But let's walk this time because I swear, if I see that rickshaw driver again I'm gonna shoot her and call it self-defense.

••••••••••••••

As we walked down an empty street on our way to the nearest bar, I had the strangest sensation. It felt almost as if we were being watched. The sound of a child's laugh echoed creepily on a brief gust of wind. Glancing to my left, I saw what looked like a little girl with goat horns on her head, holding an insane looking scythe. She grinned maliciously at us from a side alleyway as we walked by.

What the hell?

"Hey," I said, looking over to Arawn and pointing a finger back at the girl, "Did you just see a goa..."

Looking behind, she was gone save for a piece of trash paper flying in the wind on the sidewalk.

He glanced at me questioningly.

"I see nothing. Are you well, Donnie? Perhaps we should cancel our engagement."

"Nah, nevermind." I said wiping my face with a hand, "I'm fine, maybe it's just the humidity playing tricks on me."

"I doubt it is the evaporation you are feeling. It is more likely the excessive Demonic Ener..." He trailed off as he looked to his right. I followed where he was looking to see three massive green Ogres blocking our way. Each held a large wooden club in their hands and somehow I doubted they were friends of my old prison guard buddy, Amaya.

"They're not here to sell us magazine subscriptions, are they?" I asked Arawn quietly.

"It is doubtful that they are here in that capacity. More likely they are here to engage us in an altercation."

"Ladies!" I called out with what was hopefully a charming smile, "Maybe my friend and I can buy all three of your lovely selves a few drinks and we could talk this over in a civilized manner?"

The Ogre on the left wordlessly ripped out a street sign from the ground and threw it at me. I managed to sidestep just in time as it flew by my face, landing on the road behind us in a wreck.

"Okay, yeah you're right. They are definitely here to kick our asses."

Arawn took a fighters stance as his fist began to glow.

"How apt are you in combat?" He asked me.

Looking down at Winona on my hip, I responded,

"You know, I'm alright. Not exactly Bruce Lee, more like Wyatt Earp, but I can hold my own."

"Good. I will endeavor to engage the middle and the right, if you will take the remaining one?"

Pulling Winona from my holster I cocked a grin at him as they began their approach to us. He noticed my other significant other finally, and looked at me sternly.

"You do realize we must not kill them. Despite being the aggressors, each of our statuses demand that we use nonlethal force." He said as his fist glowed brighter.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember what Maou ma said to us." I grumbled as I separated from him. True enough, two of the green She-Hulks concentrated on Arawn while the third made her way over to me with her club swinging. Looking into her eyes, I seen they were milky and glazed over. I might not have gotten my online Ogre medical school degree but I was pretty sure that wasn't normal.

"Yo Arawn, I think there's something wrong with them! Look at their eyes!" I called as I crouched low, avoiding a heavy swing that would have taken off my head.

"I concur!" He called back as he dodged and weaved between them. Jumping up, he landed a devastating right hook with his glowing fist to one of the Ogres chin. The blow threw off her feet to land nearby me as I tangoed with my own green gal.

"They are under control of another, mere puppets."

Well time to cut the strings of this one. I got far enough back to aim and fire a shot straight into her chest. The Ogre paused for a moment, looking down to where the bullet phased through her.

"I told you, we could not use lethal force!" He yelled at me as he fought with the remaining one.

"Fucking chill! It's not a metal slug! I'm using Demon Realm Silver!" I yelled back.

Now in theory, Olga the Ogre here in front of me should have dropped to the ground, helpless. Theories though sometimes tend to flip you off and tell you to go screw yourself as the Ogress snapped out of her daze and swung her club down at me.

I barely managed to get out-of-the-way, throwing myself to the right as her weapon made a crater the size of a basketball in the road.

Fuck it, quantity over quality then!

Still laying on my side, I shot 3 more rounds in her chest then 1 in her head as I nearly emptied Winona out. That seemed to do the job as she finally collapsed.

Pulling myself up, I aimed Winona over and fired her last round into the other Ogres head that was fighting Arawn. That seemed to distract her enough for him to land a nicely executed uppercut, finishing her off.

We both were breathing heavily afterwards.

"I would not have thought to use Demon Realm Silver as a miniature high-speed projectile." He said admiringly, crouching on the ground, quickly catching his breath.

"Yeah well, they don't have phasers around these here parts and the one that made Winona was a hell of a lot smarter and more noble than I am."

"She would be same that now carries your child?" He asked, still breathing hard.

"Yep," I gasped, trying to keep the pain out of my voice from thinking about Victoria.

There was a silence after that as we recovered.

"You equipped yourself quite admirably."

"You weren't too shabby yourself with that... glowy Fist of the North Star thing you got going on."

Arawn paused at that for a moment then he actually chuckled and replied, "It is called a Blast Punch."

"Blast Punch, huh? Yeah... that's a good name... good name," I said getting my heart rate back under control.

"So, what do you think all that was about?"

"I would venture to surmise that it was a-"

Alarms suddenly sounded throughout the city, interrupting him.

"What the hell is that?" I shouted over the noise.

"Incursion," He shouted back, staring up at the sky, He then closed his eyes for a moment as if concentrating, opening them back up he looked to me as I yelled,

"I'm sorry, say again?"

"The Order is attacking! They are teleporting in troops in hopes of sowing chaos as well as killing as many as they can."

"Are you serious? Attacking the Royal Maki, that's suicide!"

"It has happened on previous occasions," Arawn said grimly as the alarms suddenly stopped.

He gripped my shoulder, "I must get you to safety. While those Ogres we fought were formidable, those sent here from The Order will be in greater number and more dangerous. I have just only recently recovered from a grave injury and my powers are still subpar. I would not be able to properly protect you in the field of battle."

Opening Winonas chamber, I refilled her from the small ammo pouch on my belt. I normally carry about 24 bullets in there, enough for 4 more full go arounds before I'm screwed. It would have to be enough.

"I've fought The Order before, Arawn. The only place I'm going is with you to take care of those pricks." I replied looking at him while flipping close the chamber.

"If you were to be injured or killed, both the Maou and your wife would be most vexed with me." He said with a frown.

"Same thing for me, pal. If you bite the dust, Maou ma would get even more pissy at me then she already is, so whaddya say we watch each other's backs?"

There was back and forth with his eyes for a second before he finally said, "Agreed, but we must hurry the longer we hesitate, the more lives that could be lost."

"Yippee aye ki-yay" I replied dryly as we made a run for it to the center of the city.

••••••••••••

With both hands gripping Winona, I held her out in front of me as I combed the place. Ironically enough, Arawn and I got separated as soon as we arrived. Order soldiers were running around everywhere, like ants at a picnic. Except these ants wanted to kill you, not steal your roast beef sandwich.

At every squeeze of her trigger, another Order soldier fell to the ground, incapacitated. I'm pretty damn sure Arawn could tell where I was at with how loud my girl was. I wasn't alone either, there would be the occasional, random Mamono guard runnin along side that would beat me to the punch and attack first. I think the official term for it was "aggressive foreplay." When that happened, I went somewhere else as usually the ending got a little... lewd.

It was strange how I was never targeted by any 'friendly fire' so to speak. Maybe word got out that the random Human guy running around with a gun, shooting his own, was on their side. But none of the defending Mamono would hit me. Dark Mages, Familiars and Witches would sling their spells over my head, Centaur's would shoot their arrows around me and so on. Now the Order pricks on the other hand, they didn't like me too much. I guess the fact that a 'fellow Human' was helping the enemy got their panties in a twist, as they tended to come at me en masse. Winona showed them the error of their ways.

Anyway, the whole area was filled with the sounds of battle punctuated with moans here and there and of course the occasional boom of Winona. Definitely one of the most fucked up, dysfunctional invasions I had ever been in. Well... it was the only invasion I had ever been in, but still a little professionalism would be nice.

Peeking around from the side of a building, I saw my boy taking on 7 Order troopers by himself. He was a whirlwind of kicks and punches as they rushed to surround him. Looking further away, I saw 2 more running to join the fight.

Now that's just plain rude, him having a party and not inviting me. Think I'll crash it.

Swinging around the corner, I aimed and fired at the two tryin to join in on the fun. The sound of Winona made about half of the Order soldiers engaging Arawn turn around, giving him enough leeway to perform a spinning kick to their heads, knocking them out.

"That was fun," I remarked as I approached. I then noticed something was odd... he had changed clothes into a white karate outfit.

"The fuck Arawn, you had to do a wardrobe change just to take on these assholes?"

Arawn regarded me with a stern expression that then softened as he bowed at the waist to me. "I am not Arawn precisely, call me instead: Tertius. I am one of his not-brothers. It is an honor to finally meet you face to face."

"Seriously Arawn, nows not the time to grow a sense of humor," I said glancing around at our surroundings, "There's more Order fuckers runnin around then trolls on a message board."

"I am not jesting, Donnie I am not Arawn precisely." He said simply as he crossed his arms. Although I had to admit that his voice did sound a little different, I still called him out on it.

"So what, you just happen to be another Tenchi Muyo look-alike that coincidently just happened to drop on by while we're up to our armpits in Order retards?"

"I am an offshoot of Arawn. I specialize in hand to hand combat."

"Fine," I sighed as I refilled Winona, I was down to 12 Silver bullets, I loaded 6 up in her chamber. Hopefully this would end soon.

"Whatever floats your boat, buddy, but good job."

I raised my fist to him. Puzzled, he looked down at it and said, "I am unsure of this gesture."

"It's a fist bump, like a sign of friendship and victory. You bring your own fist up and bump it to mine." I explained.

Still looking at mine, he raised a clenched hand and gingerly touched it to my own.

"We gotta work on that later but where do you think we should head to next?"

Turning his gaze up, he did that eye shifting thing, causing me think that Arawns whole family really needed to go to an optometrist.

"Quartus and Quintus are engaging several Order soldiers by the Bazaar, Primus is currently defending the Medical Institute..." He droned as if reading from a report, "Secundus requests assistance, there are multiple Order mages attacking the Makai Children's School he is defending"

Fuck, how many brothers did Arawn have out there?

"Which direction?" I asked.

Tet..Teta... Tetris or whatever the hell his name was paused again, did that eye thing again, then said, "Travel down the street in front of us, take the fourth left then the eighth right."

"Got it but what about you, aren't you coming?"

A war cry of 3 more Order soldiers interrupted our conversation. Arawns brother or whatever simply smiled as he turned to face them.

Guess this was a solo road trip. I took off running, praying the guy was better at giving directions then Romie was. Romie... I hoped to hell she was safe inside the Maou's castle...

Left, left, left, turn! 1, 2,3,4,5,6,7 turn! I found myself coming up on a large brown building that kinda looked like my old elementary school, minus the kiddie sized phallic shaped statues all around. All the running and the air here was killing me. Maybe it was just me but, it was sticky and clingy, almost suffocating. Taking a moment to catch my breath, I saw 7 Order mages all shooting magic bolts at an Arawn look-alike crouched behind some rubble in front of the school.

Sucking in a lung full of wonderful Maki ozone, I made a mad dash towards him while firing off a few shots. 4 misses and 2 hits, I counted as I dived down next to him.

Fuck Donnie, you're better then that.

"Secundus?" I asked as he looked at me in shock. The Arawn look alike was wearing a purplish black robe as he crouched behind the rubble wall.

"Donnie!" He exclaimed with a smile, "It is very good to see and meet you at last! I admire your jests the most out of all our not-brothers, including Primus."

"Always nice to meet a fan," I mumbled while reloading Winona with the last of my bullets.

"What's the plan?" I asked, peeking out from our cover only to have a fireball nearly burn off my face.

"Fuck you, you Hogwarts rejects!" I yelled out in pain as I shot at them in blind anger. As my vision cleared, I saw the depressing results. All misses and now I'm out!

God damn it!

Ducking back down, Secundus answered, "The school is occupied by those taking refuge from the battle. They are attempting to collapse the building upon them."

"How nice. Alright, do you think you can take these assholes out if I distract them? I asked as I holstered Winona.

"I could but they would need to be fully distracted. How are you planning on drawing the attention of them all?"

I smiled evilly at him and said, I'm gonna do what I do best."

Walking out, I held my hands up in surrender.

"Wait!" I yelled, "You guys win."

The wizards... mages, whatever all looked to me then at each other in suspicion. Slowly I walked away from the pile of rubble that Secundus and I were using as cover. Every single one of them was watching me like a hawk.

Perfect.

"I gotta say, you guys are pretty bad ass with your fireballs, magic bolts and other crap but I gotta ask if what a Paladin once told me was true. Do all you guys have twigs for dicks and jack off to a spell book?"

Their faces hardened at my question. The youngest looking one said aloud, "Soleil."

The others looked to him, shocked as their leader smiled and nodded in approval saying, "A rather excessive spell, Jonah, but one fitting for this traitor to humanity."

I kept my eyes trained on them and my hands up as each raised their wands and started to chant. An immerse orb of pure white light appeared above me. Huh, guess I really pissed them off for this kinda light show. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Secundus sneak up behind them and start his own spell. The look of fear in his eyes was obvious as he hurried in his casting... maybe I shoulda told him about my little advantage?

The orb dropped on me just as he finished his spell, the five mages in front of me glowed green then dropped face first to the ground. I could hear Secundus shout as I closed my eyes. A wave of goosebumps flowed over me as it landed. An almost deafening roar followed soon after as it swallowed everything around me.

Opening my eyes I saw little sparkles in the air dancing around, along with my fan boy, Secundus staring at me with his jaw hanging open. Looking down I found myself standing at the apex of a dipped crater.

"Wow! They really didn't like me huh?" I exclaimed.

"H-How?" He stuttered, "You should have been vaporized!"

"Did I forget to mention I'm immune to magic?" I asked while crawling my way back up.