The Journey Ch. 01

"Thanks." My bowling shoes were pretty cool. They were black on the inside half and race-car red on the outside half, with a line of shiny chrome spikes running from the laces down to the toes. Very punk, but also good for kicking the shit out of someone in a scrap, something I will neither confirm nor deny that I'd had occasion to use before.

"Haven't I seen you at Chasin' Tail before?" the one with the bow asked.

"No, that place isn't really my style." I much preferred a good dive bar these days than any of the gay bars in the Metro area. I was too afraid of running into a certain someone with her wheelchair girlfriend. When I did used to frequent lesbian bars, I sure wouldn't have gone in for that place. The lesbian Applebee's, as I called it.

"Oh, well, I'm sure I've seen you somewhere before. I'd never forget your hair!" she gushed.

I self-consciously rubbed the back of my head. It was shaved almost scalp-tight on the sides and back, with my jet-black hair on top gelled straight up into a three-inch spiky flat-top.

"Uh huh," was all I said. The bartender arrived with my pitcher and four cold glasses. I slid a twenty across the bar. He frowned when I waited for change.

"I really love your sleeve," said non-bow-head. "Who's the woman?"

I looked down at the tattoo on my right arm. My mom's face peeked out from under the sleeve of my work shirt through a curtain of delicate vines and flowers that wound from my shoulder to my wrist. The whole thing was black and white except my mom's eyes which were robin's egg blue. Not her real eye color, hers were as chocolate brown as mine were. But one of my most vivid childhood memories was her singing the Blue Skies song to me at bed times. I had no idea where she latched onto that song as a lullaby. So... artistic license.

"Selena," I said. "Best Mexican-American singer ever."

"Nice! I love her music!" said non-bow-head.

"We're here for a party over on the other side. Want to come have a drink?" bow-head said. Her friend appeared to be a combination of uncomfortable and curious. I looked over to the other side of the alley where the lanes were lit with black lights instead of brilliant white lighting like the league lanes. Pounding dance music was pouring over the speakers over on the other side and it was clear there was some sort of big social thing happening.

"Thanks for the invite, but I'm bowling in the league and we're getting ready to start."

"A league? So, you must be really good!"

I eyed them a little more closely. They were clearly from a more upscale neighborhood than mine. Bow-head was blonde, with her shoulder length hair professionally styled and colored. She was wearing a denim mini-skirt and designer t-shirt. Her diamond earrings looked to be real.

I was pretty sure this was a bi-curious girl just interested in a butch lesbian for some experimentation. Part of me sighed, while another (more insistent) part of me was interested.

"I can hold my own." The bartender brought back five singles. I left him two, then corralled the four mug handles in one hand and picked up the pitcher in the other. "Nice talking to you."

"You too! Maybe we'll see you back here later!"

I smirked as I headed back to my lane. Yup, definitely butch curious.

I should be offended. It seemed like girls from the 'right' side of the tracks were only interested in someone like me to satisfy their curiosity, either for their first time with a woman or the novelty of banging a working-class girl. They never wanted anything more, which, honestly, was about all I deserved.

The night went pretty well for us. Our team was in third place for the season, but we were kicking the second-place team's ass that night. The first-place team was cheering us on from the next lane over. Halfway through the second game I noticed bow-head was at the bar, trying to get the attention of the bartender. I picked up our second empty pitcher of the night.

"Anyone ready for a refill?"

"If you buyin' again, heck yeah!" Oscar was always up for another round.

I sidled up to the bar just as the barkeep got around to taking bow-head's order.

"Two more cosmos, please."

I rolled my eyes and managed not to laugh.

"Pitcher of Bud Light," I placed the pitcher on the bar, making sure my bare forearm rubbed against bow-head's. She jumped as our skin touched.

"Hey you! How's your league night going?" she gushed. Enthusiastic was this one's basic operating mode, apparently.

"Pretty good. We're tied one-one after two games, but we have way more total pins, so we're in a good position going into the last game to take three out of four points. How's your party going?"

"We're having so much fun! I love the black light bowling, it's so kitschy!"

Kitschy. That sounded exactly like what she'd think of my weekly sport.

"What'd you bowl so far?"

"Um, I think like sixty or seventy. I wasn't paying attention; the computer keeps our score for us."

I couldn't help it this time, I laughed. Thankfully, she didn't look offended.

"What did you bowl?" she asked, only a little defensively.

"Two-twenty, and two-twenty-six."

Her eyes widened. "Geez, when you said you could hold your own, you weren't kidding. Maybe I need to have you give me lessons."

My thoughts flashed back to when Addison and I were dating. I'd taken her bowling, and I remembered her laugh while I tried to teach her how to throw a decent hook. Our intimate touches while I guided her body into the right form. I looked bow-head up and down. She was as pretty as Addison. Probably came from a high-class family like Addie did. She seemed like a little short in the smarts department though, which was closer to attainable for me.

"Maybe I will sometime."

"I'm Stephanie by the way. Stephanie Williams." She ran her finger along the muscles in my forearm. It felt nice.

"I'm Vivian. Call me Viv."

"Esparza, you're up!" Manny yelled, from our lane.

Dammit. I'd had no intention of telling her my last name. So much for that.

"Better go, Viv Esparza. Your team is counting on you. Want to meet me up here after you're done?"

"Maybe."

I brought the pitcher back to our lane to see I'd been holding up the game. Everyone else had already thrown their frames.

"Sorry guys."

"No worries, chica, make it up to us with your ball," Oscar said, reaching for a refill.

Fair enough. As I held my hand over the fan to dry the condensation from the pitcher off my fingers before picking up my fluorescent purple ball, I noticed that bow-head (Stephanie, Esparza, her name is Stephanie) was watching me from the bar. I grinned towards her. I always bowled better under pressure.

Stepping up onto the lane, I held my ball in front of my face and focused on my aiming point, the space between the first and second dovetail from the right gutter. As my foot slid to a stop an inch from the foul line, the ball spun off my hand and rotated down the lane. I held my follow-through, right leg out behind me and my throwing hand up towards the ceiling as I watched the ball zip through my chosen line and slam into the pocket. The pins exploded in a perfect strike. I dropped my hand and turned back to my team who were waiting to high-five me.

Stephanie grinned at me, then turned back to the bar as the bartender arrived with her drinks.

"Nice one, Viv," Raúl said, as I sat next to him to watch Manny take his turn.

"Thanks man. Hey, any word about them re-opening the apprentice program in engineering?"

"Yeah, I think it's coming later this year. My boss told me they're going to require at least an associate's degree in mechanical or electrical engineering this time around though."

"Fuck, really? You didn't go to college. No offense."

"Chica, I been working there for almost twenty years! Things change! You didn't need one back when."

"God damnit, I was really hoping to get into that."

"Tired of driving the trains, Viv?" Manny chimed in. He'd picked up his spare and Oscar was up.

"Not tired of it, really. It just... just seems like getting into engineering would be a better long-term career path."

"It sure would pay better than driving after you get out of the apprenticeship, that's for sure," Raúl said.

"Sure would," Manny agreed.

"So how come you haven't tried to move over?" I asked him.

"Old dog, new tricks. Plus, I have enough seniority driving that I get my pick of shifts. No early mornings, late nights or weekends for me. Nah, I'm happy being a train jockey."

"I think you'd do well in the program, Viv," Raúl said, "You know more about the control panel electronics than most drivers as far as I can tell. Why don't you look into getting an associate's degree? You could do it in a couple of years. Less if you busted your ass. And you know there's tuition reimbursement through WMATA, so it wouldn't cost you that much, if anything."

"Me, in college," I laughed, more bitterly than I'd planned. "Can you imagine that shit?"

"Sure, you're plenty smart enough," Manny said, seriously. "Just because you didn't go right out of high school doesn't mean that you can't go now"

I shook my head, trying to imagine it. I pictured being the only person in my late twenties in a room full of eighteen-year-old freshmen. While there was some appeal in being surrounded by curious coeds, I couldn't imagine myself succeeding at college. I doubted that I—

"Do it, Viv," Manny interrupted my thoughts.

"Manny, I don't think I'm cut out for college, I—"

"I meant go bowl, it's your turn."

"Oh, right." I felt myself flush. I was flustered enough I threw my ball right through the head pin for a seven-ten split, which I failed to pick up.

Towards the end of the game I got my focus back, and we had the other team put away by the eighth. They had thoughts of a late comeback, but we sealed the deal when both Manny and I threw turkeys in the tenth. We won three league points, winning two of the three games and the most pins for the night, moving up from third to second. Only two points behind the first-place team with four weeks to go in the season.

"Good game tonight, guys," I said as I laced up my work boots, my bowling shoes and ball back in my bag.

"I want to throw a few extra frames before we go, if you don't mind Viv. Gotta to work on my splits." Manny was picking his ball up again at the ball return.

"Take all the time you want Man, you're driving. I'll take our pitcher up to the bar. I need some water anyway." My head was lightly spinning. I'd managed my usual balancing act, and my beer buzz hadn't really kicked in until about the time we'd secured the win.

When I got to the bar, I looked towards the lanes on the other side where the party was going on. I spotted Stephanie sitting at a lane with about a dozen other people. She was next to a guy, who was rather obviously flirting with her, his arm around her shoulders. I didn't think much of it, until I saw him nuzzle her neck and then she turned, smiling and kissed him.

I wouldn't say I was hurt. Maybe just a little pissed.

She's here with a guy, and she's trying to pick me up at the bar. Jesus. Good to know my place, nothing more than a curiosity.

While I watched them, I ordered a double shot of Patrón from the bartender. As he set it in front of me, I saw her kiss him again, then get up and head for the bathrooms. I glanced over where Manny was lining up another practice shot. I slammed my tequila then followed her, sucking on the lime.

I opened the door to the bathroom to find her at the sinks, fussing with her hair.

"Oh hey!" she said, as she saw me in the mirror. She turned, smiling. "I was worried I might not catch up with you when I saw the league people leaving."

"Yeah? What did you want with me?" I said, throwing the lime wedge into the trash. It landed with a loud thwack. She leaned back a little against the sink as I stepped close to her. She was a little flustered, but didn't seem uncomfortable or threatened.

"Oh, you know..." she trailed off, looking at me. "I just... I just thought..."

"Thought you'd maybe hook up with me? Trying to sow some wild oats before graduating from college with your M-R-S degree, settling down in suburbia with your football captain out there and having two or three kids?"

She furrowed her brow. "Uh, I..."

"I saw you kissing that guy. Just tell me one thing." I stepped a little closer, bringing my face a few inches from hers. She stared into my eyes.

"I, uh... tell you what?"

"Tell me you weren't trying to pick me up for a threesome with Mr. Pretty-Boy."

"Oh god, no, that's not it at all, I just... Look, I'm sorry, I think you're hot, but I've kinda been in a friends-with-benefits sitch with that guy for a while. We aren't dating. I didn't think he was going to mack on me tonight, but we're kinda drunk. I really thought you were hot when we were talking though, and..."

"Good, 'cause I don't swing that way."

Her breathing was getting shallow as I leaned closer; I could feel it on my lips.

"No," she said. "I didn't think you did, I'm really sorry, I hope I didn't offend you or—"

"I'm not offended," I said, cutting her off, then leaned forward and covered her mouth with mine. She went rigid in surprise, then hummed into my mouth as our tongues met. I heard voices approaching from outside the door, and I reached a hand into the waistband of her mini-skirt and pulled her with me into the handicapped stall. I got the door shut just as I heard two other women come into the bathroom.

"What are you—" she whispered, but I kissed her again. She didn't resist, hesitating only a moment before kissing me back. I felt her hands run over my shoulders, as I ran my hands over her hips. I could hear the two women who had come in loudly talking go into adjoining stalls at the other end of the room. I traced my lips along bow-head's jaw until I could suck her earlobe, causing a small gasp, which she quickly swallowed, her hand flying up to cover her mouth.

I didn't waste any more time. I curled one hand tightly into her hair, pulled her head back to expose her throat and gently nibbled her soft skin. I could feel her pulse speed up under my lips as I ran my other hand along her body, stroking the tip of her breast. Her nipple hardened, poking out through her bra and thin t-shirt as my hand continued down to stroke her bare thigh. Her skin was so soft.

I pulled back slightly, so I could look into her eyes. As I reached up her mini-skirt, I could see her wordlessly whisper "Wait," but then as I stroked her mound through what felt like a lacy G-string, and she gasped again. Her hands gripped my arms tightly, pulling my hand tighter to her. I reached up further, gripping the string around her hip, and pulled the scrap of lace down halfway down to her knees.

"Oh god," she whispered, as two of my fingers slid easily into her, my thumb running over what felt like a neatly trimmed landing strip and then brushing her clit. Her knees tried to buckle, but I held her with my arm tight around her waist as I stroked my fingers in and out of her. She bit her lip, but I could hear tiny sounds of pleasure escaping from her as she leaned into me, trembling.

"Oh god, oh god, oh GOD!" Her last word came out a little louder than a whisper, so I kissed her again to silence her. She moaned into my mouth as her knees trembled.

As I slowly stroked her through her orgasm, I realized it had grown quiet in the bathroom. I suppressed a laugh as I heard the other two ladies quickly finish their business and hustle out. Once I was sure she wouldn't fall down, I released her and straightened up, licking my fingers clean.

"Wow, that was... that was hot." She stood back up with effort and started pulling her panties back up under her skirt.

"Yeah, that was fun. Hope your boy-toy isn't a disappointment after me," I said, smirking at her.

She looked a little hurt to be reminded of him. "Forget him, do you want to go have a drink somewhere else or come back to my place, or—"

"That sounds like fun Steph, but my ride is leaving soon so I gotta run." I reached for the stall door.

"Wait, can I get your number?"

"I bowl here every Sunday night. If you really want to hook up again, come back here and look for me. That way I'll know you're not just looking for a cheap thrill, yeah?" I winked at her and slipped out of the stall. Pretty ironic for me to say that to her. All I could ever be to her was a cheap thrill.

As I came out of the bathrooms, I saw two women at the shoe rental desk talking to the manager. One of them pointed toward me.

Whoops.

I hustled towards the front door where Manny was standing, waiting for me with my bowling bag, his face a disapproving mask. He handed me my bag and we walked outside to his pickup. Uncharacteristically, Manny didn't have anything to say as we drove home. Usually he was a chatterbox, wanting to break down the match, and talk about the highlights of his game.

After a few minutes I couldn't stand the awkwardness.

"What's your beef?"

"Nothing," he shook his head, not looking away from the road.

"Whatever, man."

After a few more minutes of silence, Manny couldn't hold his tongue any longer.

"I saw you tail that little chick into the bathroom. And I heard those two ladies complaining about you to the manager."

I tried to play it off. "Yeah, I almost got busted, but worth it! She was—"

"Cut the shit," he sighed.

"Manny, please don't try to pull the dad card on me."

"I'm not tryna be your dad, you're just my roommate. But that was some bullshit."

"What? Why? I was just—"

"What if you got busted and they banned you from the alley, Viv? You'd be fucking over your team. We're in second place with a month left to go in the season. You could leave us screwed, playing one short, just so you could dip your wick."

"I—"

"I really don't care what you have to say, Viv. You gonna do the self-destructive shit you do. I'd just like it if you'd think about when your bullshit can hurt other people."

"I do, Manny! I never bring girls back to the apartment, I don't want to make you uncomfortable with my social life."

"I appreciate that."

We rode in silence for a while.

"Did you even get her number?"

"She wouldn't want to—"

"—see you again. You say that every time too. Why in god's name are you so afraid of being with someone for more than a one-night stand?"

"I'm not!"

Manny rolled his eyes at me.

"I'm... well, maybe I am, but that's no one's business but my own."

"Viv—"

"Look, can we drop it? I don't want to talk about this. I won't fuck around with anyone at the alley anymore. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Fine."

We finished the rest of the ride in uncomfortable silence. When we got home, I grabbed a beer from the fridge, turned on the second half of Sunday Night Football then sat on the couch to polish my bowling shoes. Manny disappeared into his room. He came back a few minutes later and tossed a magazine into my lap. I picked it up.

"What's this?"

"I found it on a seat on my train a few weeks ago during an end-of-line changeover and thought it might be something you might want to look at, but I'd forgotten about it before tonight."

I looked at the cover. NOVA - Northern Virginia Community College course catalog. I looked back up at Manny.

"I'm an old horse, Viv, I'm going to drive trains until I retire. You're young. Smart. You got a high ceiling if you'd get out of your own way. It was good to hear you talking finding a real career. I think you'd be a good engineer. You should think about it."

"Manny, I... I don't know—"

"Just think about it. I'll see you in the morning." He turned to go back to his room, but paused. "And Viv?"