The Joyous Bed-Chamber

He continued forward ignoring their cries until finally he found himself face to face, or head to head as it were, with the former leader. They exchanged insults and threats until suddenly the ugly angry sperm lunged forward striking square square in his midsection. They wrestled around each other trying to gain an advantage until eventually the ugly angry sperm managed to push the leader off course.

At that very moment, Magrat went to the bathroom to urinate and the chaos in the tunnel was like a tornado hitting a public swimming pool. Sensing freedom ahead, the ugly angry sperm surged forward, pushing aside the remaining combatants until he reached the prize. With a final thrust, he jumped out into the light and fell 1000 times his height into a dark pit and died nearly instantly in a cesspit of human excrement.

Meanwhile, deep within Magrats body, the battle raged on. The two surviving sperms fought valiantly, their tiny tails lashing about wildly as they struggled to reach her egg first. Finally, one of them made a fatal mistake and veered too close to the wall of her uterus. The second sperm took full advantage of this opportunity, darting past its rival and plunging toward the elusive target. As their bodies collided, there was a brief flash of white heat before both contenders were consumed in darkness.

Magrat would have twins in nine months. One good and one evil, just like everything else in life. Little did she know how hard it would be raising those brats...but then again, maybe that's why people kept having kids anyway. To keep themselves busy while waiting for death, which always seemed so far away when you were young and stupid.