All Comments on 'The Karma Credit Plan'

There are going to be some hellacious stories. Five stars.

is this the real life? or it's just fantasy?

Well that was refreshingly different! Thanks for writing an interesting story. I'm glad it worked out for Juliette and Simon. I'm not sure if I could be so forgiving towards Vic, but I suppose as a consequence of what he did, Simon ended up with his dream life.

he came out a winner. Love! Romance! Adventure!

And all 5*! What more could readers want?

I read two others by a good and great author and they were very disappointing.

Yours kept to the theme, developed fully via interesting details and scenes, and had a happy ending with just a poignant tinge.

Gracias!

Fairy tale but I like fairy tales

So well crafted. A great writer at the top of his game. Thanks for the story, Randi.

Its turning out to be a good day in LW. Thanks Steve, something new like this is very welcome!

You have a unique ability to create thoughtful, introspective, deeply confused and self-reflective heroes. They tend to go through one or another sort of nightmare, about which they think deeply, before finding their way to a happy (or at least semi-happy) ending.

Following the thought process of these heroes, along with your subtle sense of humor (so different from HDK's, for example, but also wonderful), is one of [are two of?] the great pleasures of reading your work. Thanks for this great story!

ohio

The MC doesn't really care about money. That's because he had an ambitious wife (Christine) paying all the bills. It's easy not to care about money when someone is taking care of you. This is no different than Matthew in "Promises, Promises" by ribnitin who at 26 is still living with his well off parents, but decries the evils of capitalism (another story published today in the same contest). It's easy to be an idealist, chasing your artistic dreams, when someone else is footing the bills of reality.

Then he sets the prices of the dinners at his restaurant especially low with his wife making up for the losses. Ahh socialism, where idealism intersects with generosity

with someone ELSE's money. The ultimate test if something has value is if a consumer is willing to pay the fair market value for a product.

Juliette gets a prenup with Vic (which was fortuitous) yet after knowing the MC for one day she is willing to completely share all her accounts with her and then marry him without a prenup? Nice fairy tale. You'd think she would be even more vigilant about getting a prenup with the MC after being right about getting one with Vic.

Wasn't he supposed to tell Juliette that Vic loved her, but never did? That was the one thing he had promised Vic, and instead he betrays Vic by telling Juliette that he had cheated on her. This was before he found out that Vic had used him as a mule.

It's a beautifully well written story, and I gave it a five for that reason. But I strongly dislike "men" like the MC. A man that leaves the financial responsibility and the stress derived from that on his wife is hard for me to respect. Christine couldn't. And Juliette does because ultimately she didn't work and earn the money herself either. She had won it in the genetic lottery. So she could overlook the MC's short comings.

Real life would have been the MC being married, living in miserable poverty and raising 3 kids in a tiny two bedroom apartment. All the time he would be repeating that he "didn't care about money" and was going to pursue his artistic dreams, while his overworked and over-stressed wife gave him disgusted looks, and his kids grew up jealous of the things their friends and classmates had which would make them grow up to be future socialists themselves intent on taking away from those they grew up envying.

good story but there was no point to the diamonds and they should never have been brought up as they had no purpose

He really missed the boat with this fag cuck shit. Imagine a guy from Germany writing a story this clever, funny, romantic and action packed. WTF? This Stev2244 is deceptively clever and extremely mediocre. Why Ohio said nice things about this story, we'll never know. It's possible Stev2244 is blackmailing our resident Buckeye.

Five (*****) from me!

is the toboggan ride from Juliette opening the door to inviting the MC to share her bed. It spoils an otherwise inventive, interesting plot. Pity. Still, much better than the usual LW dreck

The setup was a bit forced, with the hero off on a culinary trip of discovery, but the whole premise of the story was fascinating to me. Five strong stars.

Great inventive ideas, well-drawn characters, and a moral tale to boot. Most enjoyable. Many thanks.

The ultra rich will save us...isn’t that true? Naaaa don’t believe it for a minute.

Fantasy & escapism

10 weeks? Maybe other places are different, but in other stories the spouse has to be gone for a year before you can divorce them for abandonment.

"So he did actually cheat on me?" - Did he? This passage certainly implies it: "Haha, Simon, I don't give a damn about things like that. If I see a hot woman and I want her, I try to have her. I don't give a shit about rules. I want it, I take it," but that could be, as a certain politician once said, "locker room talk."

I was going to question why Vic wanted Simon to go see his wife when he had already sent letters, then realized he was setting Simon up with her.

Though he doesn't need it if he's going to be with Juliette, doesn't his first wife owe him alimony?

Why is he working more hours than he's being paid for? That's just dumb!

With Juliette's backing, he can go to a proper cooking school.

I don't see why the prices have to be ridiculously low. I can see not worrying if you can cover costs, but losing more than you need to?

Christine doesn't "trust" Juliette? Does she think that Juliette's after VIC'S money, LOL?

Sure, it's a big fairytale.

Who cares? You get to hate the bad guys, and they fail miserably.

Vic is actually redeemed in the end. Immature fool that he was, he was still not malicious.

Our hero wins the jackpot. In this case, the jackpot is not the cash or the business. It's finding the one person who will always deal with him with an open heart, who also wants to protect his.

The jackpot is growing old together in grace.

Who cares that some things are a stretch? It's a story that can make you smile.

And the bitch definitely be burned... and gone.

So nice to find readers who understand a story and its purpose. It was easy to stay focused on the big things and let the characters be: why did he charge so little?Because he wanted to? Why care? Focus! Enjoy! Thank you Stev2244. Well done.

Well done Stev2244.

Clever humor. This is a story that could have started off with “Once upon a time.....” and worked exceptionally well due to the creativity and sublime humor.

I’m so glad I got to know you and started reading your work. You’ve gotten so good, and this story was a solid read. Thanks Stev!

But what a fascinating complex story. This is good. Theirs are heretofore good.

I think this is the sixth?

I think this may be stev2244's best work to date. I thoroughly enjoyed the read.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

Well written & entertaining. Loved it. 5*

Great entertaining story *****

No ridiculous violence. No macho revenge, which almost without exception, is so far out there to be absolute fantasy. Yes, this is fantasy, but like your title, related to karma. It’s in line with “The Grupie”, “Losing Katie”, and the snowed in at the resort tale. I don’t need a story to identify with a bad ass, I crave entertainment. Thanks!

Within the LW section of Literotica, there may be ten writers with superior talent. Hundreds of of contributions appear each day but few are worth reading. Today I found the best. Thank you.

Damn!

I was sure they were going to give Vic the diamonds to help him set up a new life when he reappeared, or perhaps he would come after them for the diamonds.

I thought that was the reason for the diamonds being in the story.

Still a great read, tho!

among the other stories submitted for this invidation is that there is conflict in the relationship because of the actions of the person holding the balance of power. I began to wonder about a story in which the conflict arose beccause of the actions of the other party. I'm glad to see there is at least one such story.

This was a good read. Well worth the time. 5 star for sure. It had several twist which enhanced the story. Avoided going in too deep of the harshness of prison especially 3 rd world. Met the criteria for the women in charge times two just the different way in charge. This was explained well in the story.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

But Simon is such an unlikable dweeb it was hard to be happy for his success. And with all that money and all those diamonds why didn't they hire some professional to find Victor sooner? Uncomfortable story with an odd non-ending.

You’re glad Christine ended up alone, and that Vic made it out alive and you hoped that they would take care of him.

Let’s compare Victor’s and Christine’s sins:

Victor’s Sins:

1. Attempting to traffic drugs on a mass scale. Besides it being illegal, drugs destroy lives and everything that goes with it.

2. He set up Simon as an unknowing mule that cost Simon 18 months of his life in a horrible prison and almost his life.

3. Cheated on his wife multiple times.

Christine’s Sins:

1. Wanting her husband to grow up and get a job making above minimum wage. She put up with him for 10 years with her having all the responsibilities and stress of the relationship.

2. Being ambitious and hardworking and being a productive member of society.

Why do you wish Vic well, but I’ll on Christine? Who was by far the worse character in the story?

Loved your story!

But a pair of sixes isn't any better than snake eyes.

BP

Shouldn't it be rolling 7's? And when you hit a rough patch you're rolling snake eyes (double 1's) or boxcars (double 6's).

And there are a few areas that needed to be fixed grammatically, but the plot was solid, so thanks.

Once I started reading this one, I just couldn't stop - not even to refill my coffee.

Thanks for the entertainment.

5/5

Yeah, it is OK for fiction to have unrealism ... perhaps even essential. However, this tale is deeply into the fantasy category. As the tale begins, the third-class bus trip is OK, but Hubby1 (Simon) surviving several run-ins with tropical wildlife (without armor and an weapon cache) violates plausible Suspension of Disbelief. And it keeps getting worse. I had to switch my brain over to Narnia-Think, then was able to enjoy the DisneyLand ride.

4*

Another great story of a man who fights through great adversity and realizes his dreams. The prison sequence was excellent and realistic. Christine's betrayal wasn't surprising given the story. Julie, Vic's wife, was a surprise. Rich, beautiful, and a good person with all that. Seeing Simon do well and Christine end up alone made the story for me. Definitely an*5.

I truly enjoyed your story. Thank you.

I laughed more while reading this one than any of the others. Good, entertaining story. Well written and nice and informal. I enjoy your writing, even a BTB story would probably make me laugh some.

detroitdave

Very colorful.

Plot and characters borderline realistic.

But, for me, not over the line.

I've met unrealistic people

and lived unrealistic plots ;).

All characters had their flaws.

Except Julie (Juliette).

I could go on and on about the characters.

They were just so colorful and interesting.

But I'm not going there.

Instead I'd like to mention the two elements

that stood out for me.

First was the wonderful scene, inside the bus,

at the start of the story.

So visual, such superb writing!

I would've loved having more scenes like that.

Second was the Holmes/Watson banter.

Again, just wonderful writing.

This story may have had flaws.

But it also had color, humor and great writing.

Top ratings from me.

The two females are an intriguing dichotomy. The concept of ambition is not in itself bad. It's when when it over rides all else and becomes toxic that we need karma to balance that shit out.

You get a well deserved 5 ***** for this story. SOTT listed all the good parts admirably, and much better than I could do. Sit back, have a drink, reap the reward of doing a good job writing.

Nice story, but why the extra detail of diamonds? My guess was that Vic was going to return quickly, and he’d give him the diamonds to fulfill his desire to be rich and he’d go away. Shows how much I know... I want to find that restaurant that makes awesome below cost dinners!

You brought in the diamonds .....<crickets>

Someone else mentioned how when you began there were the tell-tale signs English wasn't your first language. Your syntax has chaaanged. Reading you is like listening to dialogue spoken naturally, something a lot of Americans could study you on.

I, too, would've liked to see Vic get the diamonds, even if he didn't "deserve" them.

But then I didn't write this.

To piggy back on what @Insignia said- money isn't the root of all evil, but the lust for it.

Great story.

Outstanding story with interesting characters I am glad you let Vic live, lol.

Loved it. I really would have loved to see Christine hear the truth about his absence and her reaction, though.

Does the MC supposed to be so pathetic? Lucky, though. Somebody always picking him up. gone for more than a year and still have savings? Okay

Good Story, and a fun read. Karma indeed.

I was really irritated by the beginning but i liked it in the end

What about the diamonds? It seemed like an important plot device, but then they were just forgotten. Did the story outline change during the writing process?

Confusing...

Would not change a word. Karma came full circle, Each to their own and a final justice leaving both with a clear conscious mind.

I live in S. America - the jails are just as tough as you describe, expectancy for outsiders & politicians is remarkably low!

VBR

19pvc44

A very entertaining story. It was interesting to finally find out how the drugs got into his backpack. Good old Victor, his good buddy. Riiight! Yeah, that Karma will catch up to you sooner or later. And I am a sucker for a happy ending.

Wimp and mismatched marriage had to quit reading

Maybe saved story but I don't really care

I was hoping for him to get taken out in prison

How did he get married if they were so different and then stay for years

How did he go off by himself when couldn't communicate with people

How did he get anything done when he was so pathetic

Didn't like Victor but he at least was a man

johntwheels

Excellent read. Thanks.

Intended or not, this is a pretty interesting look at hypergamy and gender norms. I liked it a lot.

I enjoyed it immensely. Like deja vu. Young naive guy decides to have an adventure to some dangerous 4th world shit-hole country, but gets a whole lot more than he bargained for. Then, when he finally gets home he’s met with indifference and anger. Like, “Oh, it’s you. You’re back. What do you want, a medal?” Yep, deja vu. Only I didn’t get to marry some beautiful rich woman. And I didn’t spend my time in that cesspool of a country in a prison. I spent it with the 26th Marines.

Just a great story - thanks for the entertainment! 5*

Great story 5 stars all the way.

EXCELLENT 5 STAR STORY! DESERVES 10 STARS! EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS STORY IS TOP NOTCH BUT WISH AUTHORS WOULD LEAVE OUT THE ... dot dot dot's, FOR THOSE OF US WITH VISION PROBLEMS, SUCH AS ME! THANKS stev2244 FOR A VERY WELL WRITTEN STORY!

Confusing. Very stupid and weak MC. Had no concern for how the tool made out.

One of this author’s worst efforts.

AWESOME, great story!!!

Here’s a tip for all you future junior explorers. Join the army. That way, when you get to one of these third or fourth or fifth world shithole countries, you’ll have your fellow soldiers, and weapons. Maybe all that will keep you from becoming a victim of your own stupidity. Just a thought. Dee

What a wonderful story. 5 stars

Traveling Wilburys, anybody? On lead vocals here, we have stev2244. Backed up by Randi and George, with Bebop3 in the mix, too. Is it any wonder this is a stone 5? What an all star! It's a beautiful story, and veers delightfully close to Romance territory. This is just so damned fine. And interesting to note that it would have been a very appropriate entry in R58's recent "Money Honey" invitational (which, of course stev2244 contributed to, though my desire to go through his stories in chrono order means that I haven't gotten to that entry yet). Anyway, yet another masterpiece from this fine writer. And, contrary to what RanDog025 wrote, I really like those "dot dot dot's" - they help break up the story into digestible sections (in other words, I can read for a bit, go do something else, then come back to the story). And an intriguing idea from a couple of the commentators (Ani100, Onethird, Sigint) that they could have given the diamonds to Victor to help him get back on his feet. Though that wouldn't be consistent with the "all Karma debts paid" ending. Sbrooks103x's speculation that Victor may have been trying to set Simon up with Juliette seems a bit far-fetched to me. Again, see the ending.

QM

This story for me was flat and mundane also a bit obvious as to the girl and the final outcome. It would have been nice to see the diamonds sold and see how much they got for them. I would have liked his ex-wife to be informed that he had not abandoned her he was in jail. It would have gone over her head but she should have been informed. Further just to mess with the ex-wife, I would have claimed costs against for the destruction of his, in old terms, 'Goods and Chattels'.

I enjoyed this! Except for the horrible prison and the betrayal. But it seems to be a stretch of the wings for you as an author! Good job...well done.

"sock disciples"? Idk what that might be. But you have good ones.

It’s always a bad idea, to travel to a third world shithole, with out making sure SOMEONE who cares about you, will alert the authorities if you come missing. Kinda reminds me of that girl on spring break in some Dutch colony, who disappeared, and was found murdered. The local police covered it up. Don’t ever think, that being a US citizen is gonna help you.

I enjoyed this story very much!

he should have offered to split the diamonds with Victor.

I've never understood why Americans WILLINGLY travel to 3 world shitholes, then are surprised when they are victimized. Most of them are idiot liberals or bible thumpers, so no great loss there, but still...

Good story. Lot of pathos. The betrayal reveal (meaning Victor's betryal of the MC) was massive. Some good dialog, especially at the end. Two souls found each other and healed each other.

I enjoyed this story,but in a way it fell short with a glaring omission. That anyone,more importantly, a friend would have done in his present position. Especially since he now had Vics' ex-wife and her wealth, he would have made use of those diamonds as a resource to get Vic out of that prison and given him half the value of the diamonds. Regardless of the fact Vic was the cause of your MC being arrested..Vic was also his saviour and friend in prison and stayed there to enable him to escape. That is simply too hard to overlook....4 stars..JZK

I really like this one!

Well done!

Yes, the diamonds remain a loose end.

No matter how rich someone is,they wouldn't run a restraint to lose thousands every month.Also what happened to the diamonds?

very good but a page or so too long. like the insights into minds of Christine and Victor. sort of expected Julie to give him some money for a fresh start or some of the diamonds.

Weird story line,how much were the diamonds worth who runs a restaurant to lose Money.

It is interesting how many commenters will burn a wife for cheating in a standard LW story (which this story was definitely NOT), but then feel sympathetic that henshoukd have somehow saved Vic because he saved him in prison. Umm Vic put him in prison. Wtf? Vic betrayed both of them. Vic saving his life in prison was to try to make amends for the terrible thing he did to the MC, but once that betrayal is revealed it is massive and it is worse than a loving wife cheating in a one time slip or even a shirt time window. I mean seriously? The fact that Vic acted like a friend to him while imprisoned for 15 months is largely irrelevant after learning that betrayal. It is that massive.

A great story. There seems to be a lot of confusion in the comments regarding the true value of money. There is much to be said about loyalty and support, helping someone achieve their dream, and truly being happy for them when it happens. A truly supportive partner… you cant buy that for any amount. With her being extremely wealthy, money was no longer an issue, but her happiness was. It’s heartwarming to see such a positive resolution. BTW, trying to sell the diamonds could create problems that they simply didn’t need. Not worth it.

Money in a relationship is something I think most American couples do very poorly in my opinion.

I'm guessing, it's because the expectation has shifted that the marriage has a greater possibility of ending in divorce. So, couples no longer share finances.

I almost feel bad for Christine, she obviously is going to search a long time for that man who fits her needs. Both Phil and whathisface were obviously very poor matches for her from the very start.

I really liked this story! Fulfilling and satisfying. Thank you.

Well done! Original and a great effort.

Always a good satisfying, soothing re-read. Life appreciation story. Thanks.😇

Great story, always nice to see something interesting and different. Nice job!