The Kindergarten Teacher

(This is a true story. This happened to me about ten years ago, and it's still one of my favorite memories. Please be aware that this is not a fast story, but more of a slow burn.)

I work for a security company and generally travel a lot for my work, frequently out of the country. We're based in the southern United States, and it always seems that most of our work seems to be elsewhere. I'm the head consultant for the company and so I usually do the "advance guard" work when we are contacted by a new client. My team and I go there and do a threat assessment and work up a plan to counter it, then the other teams come in and implement our plans. It's exciting and challenging work and I love it far more than I should. It's also very lucrative.

Back in march, one of the senior partners contacted me and told me he wanted me to do an assessment of his granddaughter's school. Then he was going to pay for security upgrades himself. We had just had another school shooting and he was starting to get twitchy about the apple of his eye being involved in one of those. Believe me when I say this was NOT the job I wanted to take. There were other people in the company that were more than capable of doing this particular job, and I prefer to work on large paying clients, the ones that directly affect my bonuses. But what the senior partners want, they get.

The school in question was a private primary school associated with a local church and to call it a conservative christian school would be drastically understating the case. I think it would be better to say that it was a hard line, conservative christian school. Which is fine, clients come in all shapes and sizes. When I got there for the initial assessment several things struck me as interesting. The first of which is that the teachers were predominantly very young, attractive, and married, and... cloyingly sweet. It was almost overwhelming. They were overly eager to help. Overly polite. A little bit flirty. But more than anything else, they were oblivious to the big wide world around them and the dangers it possessed. Within minutes I was able to spot all their security vulnerabilities both infrastructure and culture, and had a better appreciation of why my boss had asked me to deal with this.

I didn't spend every day there, but I was there two or three days a week in the process of sorting out their security and retraining them to the new security standards. I kind of started looking forward to my time there, like I said the teachers were cute, and I had a sort of mystique about me because I carried a gun and was their "protector". The more I hung out there the more attention I got. Lots of hugs and compliments, and I admit I liked it. It was relaxing in a way. An easy job with some nice perks. As I mentioned they were almost all married and after a couple weeks I started thinking about which ones may be interested in a little extracurricular fun. I tend to like married women because it's easy to send them home. Obviously that wouldn't work in a relationship, but for a little excitement and rest and relaxation, it can be quite diverting.

There were several I had my eyes on, but there was one in particular that I found myself more and more fascinated with. She was a kindergarten teacher and her name was Jennifer. She was somewhat of a mystery to me, and I like nothing more than solving mysteries, the people ones specifically. She was always bright and bubbly with her students. They seemed to love her, but I guess everyone loves their preschool teacher. When other teachers were around she was quiet and reserved. Not nearly as many "praise the lords" and "bless Hims" from her as the rest of the teachers. But she wasn't shy, that's for sure. She was confident around the other teachers, but seemed to constantly take a back seat in conversation and social interaction. However when we were alone together she was a sparkling conversationalist. She liked to talk about books, science and ideas. She's pretty, but they were almost all pretty. She had a different look, though with long natural red hair and freckles. (The freckles in particular fascinated me. I was particularly interested in where else they were.) She had a very slender frame, but larger breasts than I would have expected and I had a feeling they had been enhanced, even through the roomy dresses she tended to wear. I had a feeling that she may be trying to hide that fact from the other staff. Remember, it is a very conservative school.

But a routine quickly formed. When I would go to the school, I would stop at starbucks and pick up coffees for some of the teachers I enjoyed the company of more than others. I would drop the first one off to the principal. We would talk for a few minutes and I would outline for her the plans for the day. Then I would take the next to the P.E. teacher. She was a tall thin blond woman that was very shy and tended to try to hide her teeth when she smiled. Wholesome as a glass of warm milk. The third always went to the art teacher. She was the youngest of the group at only 22. She was short and dark haired and frequently talked about how her and her husband were trying to get pregnant. She also seemed to perpetually have a cold, and she sneezed in a very endearing way.

Wouldn't you know it, I always seemed to drop off Jennifer's coffee when she was on her 30 minute break between classes and we would sit and visit for a few minutes.

"I was wondering if you were going to come by today", she said when I knocked on her classroom door to announce my entrance. I handed her coffee to her, and she took a long sip with an appreciative noise of comfort.

"How could I miss? The teacher may give me a demerit". She smiled at me for that one and walked to her book shelf.

"I have something for you," she said and handed my book back to me. It was a copy of Bill Bryson's book A Brief History of Nearly Everything, an absolute treasure of a book but fairly dense. I had only loaned it to her a few days ago.

"You finished it?" I asked with a little too much surprise in my voice. It had taken me much longer to read it, and I was thinking that maybe some of the stories about evolution had turned her off.

"Oh yes!" she exclaimed. "It was amazing! For a book about science, I think I spent more time laughing than I did reading." That, in fact, was the magic of Bryson's writing. He could take the dullest subject matter on earth and tell it in a way that made it funny and fascinating.

For the next few minutes we exchanged stories that we liked from the book. We laughed together in a comfortable way. She held her coffee cup with both hands right under her face, warming them and inhaling the aroma of the brew. It was almost time for her class to get back from P.E. and I got up to excuse myself. Somehow we had gotten into the habit of having a little hug when we parted ways and I always enjoyed the feel of her warmth.

As I was turning to leave I almost made it to the door, when I heard a small voice behind me say "My husband and I are separated."

"I'm sorry" I said as I turned around. To my surprise, I found that I was sorry. I had grown to like her, and for such a gentle and quiet person, I could only assume that this was a painful topic.

"Don't be," she said. "We're only separated now, but the divorce is coming. But technically we're still married."

"I see," I said vaguely, buying myself time to read her and figure out why she was telling me this.

"I'm telling you because I thought you might like to ask me to dinner sometime, and I wanted you to know it would be okay if you did", she said while unconsciously playing with her wedding ring with her thumb.

"I do," i said.

She flushed a little, but got a wicked grin on her face and said, "Well then, you better ask."

I smiled back and responded with "Jennifer, would you have dinner with me?"

"Yes," she said. "I think I would like that."

We already had each other's phone number, and I told her I would message her a little later and we would work out the details. We agreed to have dinner that night, and I went back to my work finding I was really looking forward to my date with her.

***

That first night at dinner a lot of blanks got filled in for me. She was starting to make a lot more sense. I picked her up and took her to a very nice Italian restaurant. It's a hole in the wall that you practically have to be a native to know about. It's small and intimate and never fails to impress with food quality and service.

"Can I tell you a secret," she asked.

"Please do," I said as we sipped a Dal Forno waiting for our appetizers. I was a little surprised that she agreed to a drink so easily. Her school/church had a prohibition on faculty consuming alcohol. One of the reasons I had chosen an out of the way place. I thought she might be more comfortable there.

"I haven't been asked out on a date in years. I was really nervous tonight before you picked me up". She was wearing a dress, but one much more fitted to her than what she normally wore at school. She had a very nice figure, and the dress, though very conservative, highlighted it well.

"You shouldn't have been. I was really excited about tonight. I'm thankful you gave me the opening." I noticed she was still wearing the ring, and filed it away for later.

"I've been meaning to for a couple weeks now," she said blushing in a pretty way. "But I kept chickening out".

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I have a reputation", she said in a soft, matter of fact voice. Her eyes looked sad.

"What kind of reputation?" I asked her gently.

"Oh, like you haven't already heard." she said with just a touch of bitterness.

"Jennifer, I have no idea what you're talking about," I said.

Her eyes searched mine for any sign of humor or duplicity, any evidence that I was toying with her. When she saw that there wasn't any, her expression softened. "Sorry, I've just lived with it for so long, I just figured everyone knew, or someone would have told you. I just thought that the other girls would have said something to you about me. Warned you, or whatever." She looked at her napkin in her lap and folded it and refolded it a couple of times.

I reached out and put my hand on hers. "Jennifer, why don't you just tell me what you want to tell me. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere."

She searched my face again, and nodded a couple times. She seemed to steel herself for what was to come.

"I don't fit in too well at that school," she said. She was brave and looked me in the eyes when she said it. "They don't really accept me. Or maybe it's better to say that they do, but that they keep me apart from the group. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone there."

"That's really sad. Why do you think it's like that?"

"I have a past," she said matter of factly.

"And your past means they exclude you?"

"Yes."

"What kind of past could you possibly have that makes you feel so lonely."

"You'll find out sooner or later, so I guess now is as good a time as any." She took a deep breath to continue. She had not moved her hand from under mine, and her skin felt warm and dry to my touch. "I used to be a dancer in Miami, an exotic dancer. And I got mixed up with some bad people and got arrested one night for drug possession. I did do drugs sometimes back then because I was really unhappy, but these drugs weren't mine. Another dancer had slipped them in my purse, because she was hooking on the side and was scared the guy would steal it from her."

She looked back at me and I could see that this confession had really cost her something to say.

"I know," I said simply.

Surprise showed on her face, and maybe even a little bit of disbelief. "How do you know?"

"It's part of my job. I ran background checks on every employee of the school and many of the parents that are more involved. I know about your job and your arrest."

Emotions cascaded across her face. I couldn't read them all as they flashed so quickly but eventually she landed on something, but not quite like betrayal. "And you still wanted to have dinner with me after that?"

"Yes, I did."

"It's not like everyone doesn't already know, I guess. Everyone. Some of the dads hit on me sometimes. Some of them aren't very nice about it. Even some of the husbands of the other teachers say things to me that let me know that they're open to something happening. But I'm not that person anymore."

"People change, Jennifer."

"But their past follows them forever."

"Yes it does."

We ate our dinner and finished our bottle of wine. We shared a cannoli for dessert. From that point on, conversation was much less awkward. She had moved her hand from mine when the food arrived, but she had a tendency to touch my arm when she would get excited about some topic we were discussing. Each time it sent a little adrenaline surge through my chest. She truly was a lovely dinner companion. In this setting, with the low lights and her loosened a bit by the wine, it was hard to imagine her as the quiet, reserved girl from the school.

I could see the flash of inspiration on her face. Suddenly she said "So if you ran background checks on everyone, you must know the dirt from everyone's past?"

"Yes I do."

"Tell me!"

"I can't. I'm sorry." I said. And I was. It would probably be very comforting for her to know what some of the other women had been through. "But I can tell you you aren't the only one with a past. You're probably just the only one strong enough to admit it to everyone."

That brought a real smile to her face. She seemed to really like that idea.

I drove her home after dinner, and she put her hand on top of where mine rested on the gear shift. Occasionally she would make a little stroke of my thumb with hers. When we got to her house, I opened the car door for her, and walked her to her porch. She got up on her tiptoes and gave me a little peck on the cheek. We locked eyes for a moment, and then I went in for a real kiss. Our lips found each other, and then our tongues. I pulled back after a moment or too, not wanting to press my luck, and then she pulled me back to her. We kissed for a much longer time, and it was getting more and more heated. I pulled her body closer to mine, and I could feel the heat of her. Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I could feel her nipples getting hard against my chest. After a time that could have been five seconds or five minutes I felt her draw away from me. She placed her hand on my chest and patted it a couple of times and said:

"Not yet. Not just yet."

She handed me her keys and I unlocked the door for her. She reached out her hand and I gave them back. She stepped inside and turned around, blocking the door.

"I'm not saying no. Just not tonight."

"It has to be right for both of us", I said. "It's okay." Her face was deeply flushed with arousal, and I had the distinct feeling mine was as well.

"Is it," she asked, to reassure herself.

"Of course."

She smiled and nodded a couple of times, like she was taking a moment to let that fact settle in.

"May I see you again?," I asked formally, because I really didn't know what else to say.

"Dinner tomorrow night," she said. It was a statement, not a question. And I liked that.

***

I messaged her in the morning and told her what a nice time I had. I said that I would usually send flowers to her work, but somehow I felt that would be the wrong option. She agreed and asked me not to do that. I asked her where she would like to eat tonight, and that it was her turn to choose.

"Anywhere," she asked.

"Anywhere," I agreed. I had had women say this before, and was expecting her to say something like Paris or New York. If she did, I had a feeling I would say yes, even if she wasn't just joking.

"Let me cook for you," she said. "I never get to cook for anyone anymore. Come by my place around 7:30."

"I'll be there," I said.

"But I have a favor to ask of you. I've only ever seen you in a suit. Dress casually."

"Okay, how casually?"

"Jeans and a soft shirt should do nicely."

I arrived on time, and I brought nice bottles of red and white wine with me since I didn't know what we would be having. She answered the door with a school girl smile and a little bounce of her heels that accentuated the movement of her breasts under her blouse. She was dressed simply, but elegantly in nice jeans and a thin, cream colored blouse. She had Birkenstocks on. The effect was to make her look younger than her 31 years, but more like she was TRYING to look older. She took the wine from me with careful inspection of the labels. Not judging them, but appreciating the gift.

I followed her into her small, duplex apartment. It was an older house and there was not much room, but in every space I could see her touches. It was feminine and thoughtful, and felt comfortable from the moment I walked in. She had bookcases everywhere. She was obviously an avid reader. I was sure she had cleaned before I got there, but had a distinct feeling that she hadn't needed to. When we got to the kitchen I bent and gave her a friendly kiss on the lips.

"Hello!", she said with a broad smile.

"What can I do to help," I asked.

"Nothing. This is a full service establishment," She said with a smile. Then blushed a bit when the implication of that statement hit her. "Open the wine," she said, covering. She handed me two glasses and a cork screw. We were having shrimp scampi, I learned and so I opened the white that I had carefully chilled before coming over.

She chopped and stirred and cleaned up as she went. When it came time to cook the shrimp she put on a scowl of concentration and bit her lower lip. It was all very endearing. We talked about her books and favorite authors. I was surprised to learn that we had many of the same ones. She gossiped lightly about the other women at work, and asked me plenty of questions about what I do.

When she learned that I had done security work for some celebrities, she peppered me with questions, as I knew she would. I let a few names and details out. It surprised me to learn that I wasn't trying to impress her, but rather that I was genuinely enjoying sharing these things with her.

The scampi was EXCELLENT!! She was a great cook and I could see that she had put in a lot of extra flourishes in the garnish and presentation for my enjoyment. She was still wearing her ring, but she had stopped touching it unconsciously.

After we both had second servings and announced that we were full she asked me to open the bottle of red. She got fresh glasses out of the cabinet. I offered to do the dishes, but she waved me off.

"I want to go sit outside, where it's dark," she said.

I followed her to her back porch. It was a small backyard, but neat and well cared for. I saw the herb garden where she had doubtless gotten some of the seasoning for our meal. She motioned me to a lounge chair and I sat. As if on impulse she sat across my lap, and leaned to the side so that we were shoulder to shoulder. It was a comfortable position for both of us and I put my arms around her. She snuggled her head into my neck and gave a long sigh. She pointed up to the stars.

"Do you know what constellation that is", she asked.

"No, I don't".

"That's Gemini, the twins," she informed me. "And next to it is Taurus, the bull."

We spent a pleasant few minutes talking about the stars. She was well informed about them. Then she turned to me and said "You should kiss me now."

And so I did. Last night that had been hunger and passion in our kiss, catching us both off guard. Tonight was different. It was much more of a slow exploration of one another. Our tongues met and slipped over each other and separated only to find one another again. I pulled her close to me and there was no doubt my arousal was evident to her as she sat on my lap. She stroked my hair and chest, and I let my hand wander to her breast. I was expecting another little pat on my chest, but it never came. Her breathing became shallow and her breath was sweet with wine and food.