All Comments on 'The Last Library Ch. 04'

I am not sure why you are so critical of this chapter. It works fine.

This is some of your best writing in this work. It should NOT be Ch. 04, though. Her thoughts and anguish, fears and self-recrimination, should be integrated into the first three chapters.

As it is, TLL is a damn good tale; unique, well written and great character development. What is missing is what's going on inside her head.

Knowing what she is going through, AND that she can feel/hear his thoughts and emotions would allow you to create an incredible tension between the two characters.

Simply put, integrating Ch 04 into the first three chapters would turn this into a tremendously better work. You have the chance to really create something special, and powerful. Please consider doing so, in a re-write.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale, and thanks for it takes to put together a Lit submission.

GeoD

The information here is good for the story but it should be intermixed with the first 3 chapters and not it’s own chapter. I agree with Anonymous’ comment and they said it better than I could right now.

I love these two characters so much.

Love having her point of view so explicit instead of having to infer. Love this chapter.

I agree with Anonymous regarding the integration of this chapter into the first three, it would vastly strengthen the story. I see this a lot in other novels... the addition of different perspectives of the various characters. Irregardless, this is a fantastic story, and one of my favorites!