All Comments on 'The Last Princess of Lorrea Ch. 02'

Is this part of a Hunger Games fantasy?

What tease to end it like that! Another good if short chapter.

Mayness - When you post 3 pages from a google doc, somehow it is only one page in Literotica. Don't worry, the next few chapters are much longer :)

Anonymous - the idea of the vines is from two books- neither of them The Hunger Games... but since I didn't read that book, I don't really know what you are referring to anyways :)

but I did see the movie- if that's what you were referring to- the vines?

Loving it so far - very similar start to another of my favourite stories on here - The Last Tritan - but great job so far, keep it coming :)

Uh oh. Nice cliff hanger. Short cant wait for more story

of the first chapter. Agree with commenters who have said that this chapter is too short and there is shades of Last of the Tritan. Will look where you take this story but there is definite possibilities. Five stars from me!

I have read "The last tritan" and enjoyed it very much. It is possible that certain aspects of that story may have leaked a little into mine, but it was not intentional.

Chapter 5, which i'm having a blast writing, is coming along beautifully.... scheming royals and jealous lust... yum yum!

Originally you wrote in 1st person, now it is in 2nd person. Pick one and stick with it.

But I really do enjoy where this story is heading.

I see improvements in your writing in comparison to your second story to the first.

I enjoy the plot line; I don't mind overlap. But frankly, Elena is a stupid girl. She seems to have a mediocre understanding of the situation. The narrative is decent. I think you could do much better if you edited a bit more.

I would like to see some original ideas in this story, I have to agree it seemed like a rip off from the last tritan as well as the hunger games. (She sleeps/hides in a tree while the outnumbering enemies lie in wait below, plus she is an archer, kind of verbatim there) Also I don't think the line, 'look I'll give it to you straight', really matches the rest of the dialog . Seems like everyone except for this guy was from a feudal era and he was some future ghetto dude.

Good story,just very short chapters,or page,as it is,,maybe you can make 2 pages soon,,,

While most readers on this site realize that this is an amateur writing outlet, this chapter is of lesser quality than the first. Hopefully the rest of the chapters will improve in character development, world believability, originality, and direction. Also, in The Last Tritan, the fallen world is Elorra, yours is Lorrea. If it was your intent to reference another's work, which is very similar in plot, use a more elaborate method than a simple anagram.

.. certainly a tribute to Last Tritan and others, but still enjoyable... looking forward to seeing where this goes.

This is weird: the first few stories don't have any sex at all.. I wonder how Literotica can publosh these stories, unless there're in the non-erotic category.

Definately has a strong sexual undercurrent that has been promising sex though.

Evebroughtanaxthistime

I like a good story~ i ll take it anywhere i find it haha

Great start, Miss Robin Hoody really getting into it, well done this is my first encounter of your writing...great stuff