All Comments on 'The Lawyer and the Killer Ch. 02'

A GREAT story. Thorougly enjoyed it and hope to see part 3, soon.

okay, im not sure what to make of this story, I like it but it seems to be missing something, I cant wait to see what happens next to poor Susan.

You certainly are good at putting an innocent in an impossible situation. Another fascinating character driven story.

You certainly have a knack for putting innocence into situations over their head. Another example of fascinating character driven story telling.

that isn't why I am waiting for the next chapter in this tale. I NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, dammit.

This story is so good. You have me hooked of your writing.

I am enjoying the direction of this story.

Can't wait to see what happens to Susan next...

One of the most long winded boring stories I have ever read.

That was not what I expected for some reason. I liked that he (unknown name) was starting to get a connection with her, but scaring her so badly that she forgot her cat suprised me.

Can't wait to see what happens next. Please continue.

the killer is creepy - good characterization. could easily be over the top, but again your writing style mutes the opportunity for the killer to become a caricature.

it would be easy to make the woman disappear, wouldn't it? she has no ties other than work and the gym...

I like this story up to this point, after this the story sort of goes off the rails, at least in my opinion. It goes from a very interesting story about a man and a woman to some kind of political thriller. I think what you have here is the makings of two very different stories which have been unconsciously slammed together.

Kidnaps, rapes, enslaves and then tries to get legal documents signed to get all her stuff and medical authority?

This fucker needs to be killed, revived and killed again.

Your male protagonist is a piece of shit!

You think kidnap and rape is romantic?

If so, fuck off loser!

Shocking many as you are,with the raw villainousness of kidnap,rape,enslavement,probable selling off,unwilling cosmetic surgeries...all of a well known,pretty lady lawyer....

your male lead's reactions are perfect for a villain;)).rather the writer tries to soften the harshnesses as much as possible!!;))..and the female lead's reactions are just appropriate for a typical victim!! ... ..and being a male writer you have captured a kidnapped lady's traumatic mental turmoil in captivity...just too aptly!! ;))

But the villain having a fetish for women dressed little girl style?!;))why arent you man enough to let women be real women..if women are women enough to take men as real men?!;))

Might I ask some commenters....this is not the end of the non con!! ;)) when do the villains start a hookup with captive ladies with soft and romantic vanilla sex that is rape..but not exactly like 'rape'?;)) what 'softer' rapes and kidnappings and murderers are you looking for?!;)) Why?!;))How can you be so naive as to look for those?!;))...in this section?!!!;))

Let me start off with a couple compliments. The story is well written and the characterization is pretty decent. Now let me get to the critiques, and there are many.

First, unless a person is homeless or works an absolutely menial job, they will always be missed if they vanish. Hell, pizza delivery people have called cops because a regular customer didn't order a few days in a row. Susan is, as you wrote, a successful lawyer with employees. This means she interfaces with at least a dozen or more people at the courthouse daily, from other attorneys to judges to bailiffs to clients to her own paralegals and accountants. By this measure alone his statement that "nobody would miss her" is gross stupidity and she would know it.

Second, hitmen do not have staff or "crew" unless they are part of an organized crime family. Murder for hire doesn't pay that well after expenses.

Thirdly, having her sign any document is also ridiculous. Those documents are worthless, since any signature would be rendered invalid because she was coerced, so nothing he does can be enforced legally or keep him from prosecution if caught. Not to mention, as a lawyer she probably has a will already drafted, kept in a safe deposit box and notarized which means there is an executor of her estate and any revision of the will which he might try to engineer would require her physical presence with the notary and the lawyer who is acting as executor.

All in all, while the story has an interesting premise, it is rife with plot holes you could drive a tractor trailer through. I can't in good conscience give it more than 2 stars because it is so poorly researched and sloppily constructed, no matter how well written.