All Comments on 'The Lazy Lemon Sun Ch. 02'

Having to wait for installments is creating havoc in my daily life. My demeanor is causing the cat to hiss and my dobermans to cower away from me. I am not a patient man.

I wondered if we'd be seeing Grant City on this trip.

I don't find Mark's flight unreasonable; finding out that one was <i>used</i> that way by one's closest kin, the people that one would ordinarily assume would not act so, is precisely the sort of shock that induces fight-or-flight. Of course, I suspect that there's more to the story than we've been told at this point.

So I'll wait here, as patiently as I am able, for the remaining installments.

I'm just starting the 2nd ch. Your introductions to this one and other are killing the flow, spirit... I don't know, spoiler! So does the interactions. Let the story speak. Plus, you're a good writer, so, if you don't mind my saying, no need to feel so insecure.

K. India.

Wrong of him to leave. He now knows how his marriage began, but he didn't try to find out what it is in the present.

For me, this chapter was good, but was just filler. I want to know more about the marriage and Sandy. That's where the emotions are and that is the attraction to LW stories.

Thanks Rehnquist. I can't wait to see how this develops.

Writing is wonderful, equal to or better than any other I've read on this site in the past 5 years. Imagery, technical accuracy -- all there. The plot troubles me a little bit, though. I think we all know that a state governor and powerful state legislative figure (father-in-law and father, respectively), could easily have the state police or other security people track down Mark in a heartbeat. He uses his own name, he has made purchases (and buying a car requires an ID and a checking account or credit card), and all such things are trackable with law enforcement computers. Even his train tickets are trackable. Sandy has a right to be angry -- he said he loves her, yet what he did was intended to be a slap in the face. I think he should have had it out with all of them. As I said after the prior chapter, he should have had a PI find out what Sandy was up to during her three month limbo time. Nice to have "ammo" in your weapon when you face a pride of lions. Can't wait for the next part.

I'm hooked! My mind is a jumble of possible things to happen next. Can't wait for the next installment.

You've turned the setting of funky, skunky New Orleans into Generic Anytown ,U.S.A. . I get that maybe you never have caught or thrown glass beaded necklaces at Mardu Gras but there's no exscuse for not at least taking the trouble to check out a James Lee Burke novel from library to get a tenth of a clue about points of interest and languorous, lovely dialect. EVERY character so far talks like they were born & bred in Toledo Ohio.

You set the hook in Chapter 1 adeptly . It's gone ALL hokey in this installment. Arranged Marriage jitters? This only occurs to him that oh so fateful night after Dad's hat in ring pronouncement and not the three months the Princess Bride couldn't be troubled to return his calls, let alone cast a shadow on their marital bed? H-O-K-E-Y.

We all knew something was afoot five seconds after his mother alleged that the princess was cutting eyes at him the year after brother's death. This guy be glacier slow on uptake for alleged Law Review material.

Oh and as for the 'tried and true ' cliche about scheduled featured musician replacement our hero undertakes while he's trying to go incognito because there's ' no one else' . Well you don't have to venture out to a street corner in the Big Easy and you'll flat trip over three skilled musicians ( and one pickpocket ).

To sum things up- if this chapter was a dog not only couldn't it hunt- it schould huddle under a bed and fear it's going to be sent on one way ticket to Micheal Vick Canine Obediance and training camp. If track records hold to form, you'll come back from this flea and ringworm infested mutt of a chapter. But strictly in terms of today's effort . NO Crawfish GUMBO for you Mr. Rehnquist !

Or something like that. You are one fine writer. The story is one of your best I think. I am already sorry it is only four parts. I want it all here, now. Hate when I have to stop and wait for the next part. I thank you for your hard work. I think I have read all that you have posted. May have to read them again.

I never try to learn and remember characters from old stories and that is a main theme in Q's and The Judge's stories. However, they write so well, it matters not who did what in an old story. I know Grant City is the center of The Chief Justice World and that's okay, and I remember a story where a bar owner divorced and remarried. The woman tossed to the curb in that story is now sniffing around our married hero and she seems to be sad but wonderful. That's really more than enough tie-in for me.

I can see where or hero is pissed at his wife, but he never really dug in to find the level of the betrayal by his wife. I am not against a husband walking rather than murdering a few people. It just seems like in this case Mark would have tried an actual conversation with his wife, with each telling the truth. The writing here is exceptional and I am totally hooked, but I was hoping for more conflict and emotional turmoil. Grant City seems to be well on its way to become the next Peyton Place, or Days of Our Lives soap. I have noticed Chief likes to have his female characters sin and get divorced and then be redeemed in their second marriage. That formula seems to satisfy the Nazis as well as the romantics, which makes it a winner. Toss a wife to the curb in one story and have her learn her lesson and be almost saintly in the next story and find true happiness. There are only a few writers that can grab the readership like The Judge does and I appreciate the talent and time he donates to entertain us. His talent is pretty much unique on this site.

With the dark and sultry Veronica along with the plain and yet very deep Whitney. I am hooked so go ahead and reel me in because I'm ready for the gaff.

You obviously have the gift of telling a tale and sucking in your reader to the story and the characters. Go ahead and write a real book and make some money.

Even though I can anticipate, to some extent, what's coming, I'm enthralled by the journey. The character development us excellent, the pathos very real. HDK's comment, and no disrespect meant to the king, is a bit off: the denouncement is coming soon.

I have mixed feelings about this effort. I read your old stuff over and over, so it's nice to get new. However, when I see your postings, I can do nothing else until I've read them. Keep writing!

Interesting developments here. For once we don't have definitive proof that the wife was making whoopie with others, but instead its the discovery that the marriage was "arranged" that sends our erstwhile hero on his pilgrims progress.

Not sure what to say about this one. It's great writing and definitely opens up a lot of emotional boxes for the climax that's supposed to come in 2 more chapters.

However, I'm not in love with some of the plot twists. The dash for freedom in this case ran into a few cliches on the way. Not in the decision to go. Considering the complete destruction of trust brought on by overhearing his wife's parents talking about the plan to get him and his wife together and the bleeding wound on wondering if his wife loves him or even cares about him I can understand flight first. Especially with the other pressures. I'd say there was little chance he'd have received honest answers from any of them if he'd challenged them, not in the build up to an election for White House Resident. And with both father and father-in-law being powerful men making waves was definitely not a good plan.

But to land a perfect jobs at a bar and the "I can do that" routine with the band unable to perform was definitely a ride into clicheland. It might have helped move the story along and bring in new characters for the final scenes, but it hits on many of hte cliches of the "run away" stories where the fleeing husband manages to fall into the perfect life only after he leaves.

And I won't start about how easy it would be to find him.

DUH ME. Just reread story & discovered Mark is in fabled Grant City & not the Big Easy. Please disregard all setting critiques forthwith, my sole defense is that I hadn't any coffee before posting my daily wannabe blast. Never again.

with this story? What's wrong is that now I've got to worry and wait all day thinking about what embroilment of plot comes next and then stay up most of the night so that I am able to wake up early enough to end my suspense by hurrying to my computer to read the next chapter to find out. If the test of a great story is its ability to keep a reader reading, "Lazy Lemon Sun" is a solid A+.

Judge Rehnquist, this story isn't just a story. It is literature and better than much one finds in a public library. I can make only one new comment besides agreeing with everyone else about the story, the characters, the snappy dialogue, the dilemmas, the tension, etc.

Find a magazine to submit your writing where you can have a wider audience than just here. Your work deserves it.

I just wish you wrote more often.

to do it again have me on pins and needles waiting for the next installment .would you please just write a novel and publish it .Your stories are better than most of the published novels that I buy.

Chapter 2, of total BULLSHIT by a fucking LIMP COCK--Write a BOOK of FUCKING PORN. THAT nobody will buy. Give us a break from this log crap you are limp dicking us with. STOP

You've hit it. I've no doubt that the next installment will trigger a rise in tension, but this chapter felt like running in place. Don't get me wrong, the narrative here and the events are crucial to moving the story along, but we need more rising action.

Your word choice and imagery are impeccable. Please don't get discouraged, because I will continue to read everything you write if you keep writing like this. But in the spirit of constructive criticism, I think you are too concerned about voice or POV (as seen in your first two drafts). This installment would have benefitted greatly from a forray back to the south, and exploration of Sandy's feelings at his departure. This would likely have given the reader the tension and conflict lacking in these chapters.

I have no qualms about the retreat. Yes, he probably should have confronted her instead of running, but I can sympathize with his needing time to find his center after his world tilted crazily. That response is very real, and with no kids, there's no real harm done.

Overall, bravo. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Wulf

Maybe it's just me, but this is still more setup than anything else. Preparation for big conflicts to come.

As for Mark confronting Sandy, with the careers of two very powerful men on the line, I don´t know if that would´ve been such a good idea. If Sandy´s parents are ruthless enough to set Mark and Sandy up into an arranged marriage, who knows what else they might do...Not to mention his own parents.

I definitely want to know what Sandy did during her 3 month absence...

But for now, I´ll await the next chapter.

And Whitney! Man, I had forgotten until another reader mentioned her. Hmm....HDK said it already. Anyway, I wonder where this is going.

I liked the tie in to the band and had not picked up on the name of the town before General Beauregard hit me between the eyes. Mark became more of a real person in this chapter, although he still does and reacts a bit strangely to some things, but that is just me judging how I would react in the same situation.

Nice intro discussion about marriages for the wrong reasons and why they become such a miserable place to be. Whitney and Rebecca both seem to be interesting female characters, but you seem to be matching Mark off with Whitney and I thought he would have been more attracted to Rebecca. I do think there is something more to the relationship between the two women than we know right now, but you will tell us soon no doubt.

In addition, I am more than a bit curious why no one has found him so far. There is no mention of being paid cash under the table, so it should not be too hard to find the errant Son/Husband, since his absence has got to be putting a big dent in the aspirations of his Father. Clearly both Whitney and Rebecca now know who he is and they will search out the whole story, because they are lawyers, smart and being women, naturally curious.

The other thing that bothers me, is the delay in going to see Clarice and his younger half Brother?

One more bit of erratica running through my mind is the similarity of your title, "the Lazy Lemon Sun" to an old John D McDonald novel named "The Dreadful Lemon Sky". OK, Lemon is a common enough color/term, but it just keeps rattling around in my head.

All in all, I thought it was a good chapter.

I knew the end of the chapter was comming but still wasnt ready for it to end. For those of us impatient folks, and I see Im not the only one, maybe the whole story next time. Great story by the way. Mike in Missouri

How does he know he has a brother? Why is Sandy with him at the bar staring up at the stars???

this may be your best effort yet, if it keeps up, and I'm sure it will. it,s opening slowly, like sipping fine whiskey, which is just right. to those of your critics who are complaining of lack of porn, I say go back to your regular pastime of sitting on your porch throwing empty beer cans at passersby.

I read a lot on this site and you one of the best writers!

What I like about your stories is that you are able to include a lot of detail and incidental information about your characters ( excellent character development) and yet you keep the story moving at a good pace.

can change the seasons or minds. TK U MLJ LV NV

I disagree that the whole husband-runs-away genre has been overdone. A good story is a good story even if the plot has been worn before. Last night I discovered there is yet another Three Musketeers movie coming out. I still enjoy them.

I did find one hole in the plot.

"There was only one explanation: I had a brother."

How does he know it's not a sister or twins? Before this point we have no indication as to sex.

OK Rehnquist – you got me. After my comments on Chapter 1 you revisit Grant City and present; Whitney from ‘The Damp Gray Gone’ ; Teddy Cooper and General Beauregard from “Goin’ back home again”.

Lovely – fucking brilliant. I love the way you interlace your stories and characters yet you still have a fresh approach and set of conundrums for each story. It’s always fresh and entertaining, and appealing in a comfortable, extended family way. It’s also clear you love your characters – you care for them and that says more about you as a writer and a man than anything else.

Now for the conflicts to hit after his low-key (!) presence gets him noticed and 'found'.

I don't care what anyone else thinks - this is really good and I'm still on the edge of my metaphorical seat. My imagination's pretty good and I can't wait for chapter 3. So many threads - so many possible resolutions.

Trying to read your mind - or at least predicting what will come next - is like plaiting fog!

You are truly talented.

I wasn't too sure about the series after reading the first chapter but you have me hooked now. Can't wait for the next two! I am really looking forward to him ripping his family and wrecking the Governors Presidential Bid. I am ambivalent about a possible reconciliation with his wife. Unless she can convince him and prove to him she is lily pure I would like to see him rip her also. After all, she helped the two families use him. She seems so shallow and mercenary I really don't want him involved with her. He seems to have several better choices in women in Grant City. I look forward to his changing of career that I can see coming also. Well done.

If Sidney43 is correct and The Lazy Lemon Sun is a riff on Travis McGee titles, how could you have entertained anything but first-person POV?

If I were really, really picky I'd say the "third degree" questioning he got from the ladies was in credible. I don't think in "real life" a stranger would ask nor would he answer those questions politely. I suspect, he'd tell them off and very quickly.

But, that aside, the story is very good and it's well written.

I never do this, but the personal attack by the above Anonymous--who appears to be the same vile filth spewing piece of shit who similarly commented on part one--has seriously pissed me off.

You want something simple to read that doesn't use polysyllabic words? (Oh, that's more than one syllable, you ignorant dickhead, just want you to keep up while I return the attack.) Here you go:

They met, married, fucked some, then she fucked someone else. He got really pissed, beat up loverboy, tricked her into fucking the football team and contracting AIDS, got everything in the divorce, then met the perfect woman who looked like a Playboy model and fucked like a porn star. They lived happily ever after.

There you go, asshole. Simple enough for you, or did I use too many big words there, too?

Simply put, don't read the fucking story, moron!

And to everyone else, thanks for your comments, both good and bad.

And yes, I read every single one of the Travis McGee books while I was in the Army, I still love them, and I loved MacDonald's use of colors in the titles. Can anything set a tone better than titles like A Tan and Sandy Silence, The Lonely Silver Rain, The Empty Copper Sea, The Deep Blue Goodbye, and so on? I don't think so. To my shame, though, I had to surf for all of the titles to make sure I didn't outright copy his for this one!

Whatever you do for a career you couldn't possibly do it any better than you write. I've read all of your stories and they're all excellent, maybe it's time to think about becoming a writer for money. I know I'd buy what you wrote and I think a lot of other people reading your stories would also. Keep up the good work and I can't wait for the next two chapters of this story.

There I was in my office, reflecting on just how insanely good this chapter was, it just washes over you like a comfortable blanket on a cold night. It's not just the polish of the story, or the smoothness, or even the pacing. (I know there's a confrontation coming and it's going to be bad) I think it's the quality of all of them, that just outs this on a level that no other writer here can match. You could probably write about paint drying and make it interesting. Anyway suddenly there were all kinds of people in my office wondering why the hell I'd missed the meeting with one of our biggest suppliers. So tomorrow, I'll wait until lunch. Great job as usual. And as usual I have no idea how this will come out. SS06

Whitney or Sandy? Do some proofreading.

I am NOT against the Husband walking out if it makes sense...even when it may seem like a cliche. But Mark does not know to what extend his marriage is a sham or not.

so the running away sees a BIT off. On the other hand he does come froma politicaly connected family so he may have felt trapped.

of course by this time in the story he should be found....

Terrific story line and wonderful character development. I see a few premonitions in the boy and in the meeting with the women lawyers. My expectations are honed.

I would love to see this as movie.

Thank you for your effort to make this an enjoyable read.

So we have a politicians other son, who should know better and be cynical. However, he wants to believe that the arranged marriage is not so arranged. Is he running away over being manipulated and/or just his distaste for appearances.

I have enjoyed all of your work, and please keep writing

as you are among the best authors on Lit.

Can't wait for the next two chapters.

Thanks again.

Great characters and story line.

I wasn't sure at first that leaving Sandy without some discussion was fair..but on second thought..the situation with Sandy was just the last straw on a life of too many compromises with his family and job.

Looking forward to the next chapters.

LOVE YOUR WORK! ONE OF THE BEST ON LITEROTICA! PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING.

Sometimes I get confused when there are more than a couple of storylines going, but I know I want to keep reading about these -- the ex-wife / the political campaign / the brother / the original songs / the new "girl friend." Whew, did I get them all listed? I will be watching for the next installment.

Awhile back I was disgusted with the quality of writing in Loving Wives, but that was before I discovered Rehnquest and StangStar.

I gotta admit that, even though post-mortem it was obvious plot twist, I didn't see that zig coming. Memphis to Grant City...kind of a Martin Cruz Smith turn there since I'm thinking he would sink into the underbelly of Memphis as a musician on Beale Street or something similar.

I zipped through this chapter so fast that when I realized I was on page 4 I felt the same way Peggy Lee did when she sang "Is That All There Is?" What really has me crying is that between doctors appointments tomorrow and a concert by a harpist tomorrow night, I probably won't get to read any more of this story until Thursday. All day tomorrow I'm going to feel like a heroin addict jonesing for his next fix.

As to whether he should have stayed and confronted Sandy or not, he had quite a psychological shock realizing that since he graduated law school, the only thing he had really done worthwhile was getting the guy out of jail. Everything else had just been kind of a "Truman Show" type of existence orchestrated by his own and Sandy's parents. That could cause a complete break with reality or, as seems to the case here, a cold glass of water in the face and someone shouting "Wake UP." He woke up and said AMF.

I said about "The Damp Gray Gone" that the way Whitney treated her husband made me mad and the lines here where she says she never really loved him aggravated me all over again. She got married just because it seemed the thing to do? She ripped a guys heart out because she was confused? Please! It has said before, one job of a writer to evoke emotion in the reader and you did your job again.

Five Stars!

CW

Nice tie in to the "The Damp, Grey Gone" and "Goin' Back Home Again". I hope to see more of it. But somehow I'm rooting for on the one hand the politico's getting their deserved due, on the other hand Sandy and Mark getting back together (she having fallen in love)...

with Harryin VA that he should have been found by now. As you should know in Illinois you have to give your SSN to get a drivers license and with in 24 hrs Daddy and FIL would both know where he was at. So anything happening after the first 48hrs in Grant City would not have happened that way. Other wise it is a very good story, just hard to believe it could happen as you write it.

in every way so far. perfect writing style, also the length of the chapters on page like this, not too long and not too short.

take the good advices, there are no bad points so far

There is no substitute for a writer who knows how to create characters that draw you in and how to tell a story whose next installment you can't wait for. Please keep writing. This is great.

however I will wait until the end before making any further comments.

Here the dedicated politicians are bustin their butts for the people and this little ingrate just gets all pouty and bails for no reason!

Actually, he did bail for no reason. Nicely written, but his reasons for leaving were lame. I suppose most motivations seem lame to others. We all do things based on perception.

His father and father in law probably do know where he is. It would only become a problem when the reporters locate him, which will be soon now that he has launched a singing career.

i don't know about over using this story line but when used by a really good writer it doesn't bother me a bit. Like how you bring in characters from previous stories. Can look into their present after visiting their past.

thanks for another great story smitty

But in my opinion didn't reveal very much nor did it embody multiple conflicts. Guy finds out his marriage was a lie.

I will await final judgement until I read the rest of the story. I fully expect to enjoy this story and I enjoyed this bit, but once the exposition of the drawing room was done, all we really got was a scene change and an introduction to characters your readers have already met before. This had to be done, I suppose.

Thank you for writing and I wait with anticipation for the rest.

Rehnquist,

You asked: Second, I really do look forward to reading your comments on the moral dilemma I am creating here. This one isn't so black and white, pretty much right up to the end. I'd be interested to hear your take on it. What would you do? The dilemma spills out over the remaining chapters, and I'm almost giddy to see whether any of your positions change.

He doesn’t really have a moral dilemma as yet. He is confused, but he KNOWS that he has been betrayed if not be infidelity then collusion between his parents, her parents, and his wife. What should he have done? Probably confronted his wife and then left. But given that he has left, it is time for him to find himself and what he wants. Seems like he is doing the right thing minus the one thing he should do…go to Chicago get a trak phone call his W and tell her he wants a divorce. That action will tell him in short time what is really important to all parties concerned. If she doesn’t divorce him, then he must decide if he divorces her. Right now she can use the argument that they both worked too hard and simply lost touch with one another.

Oh! And one last thing; She knows he doesn’t know what was going on because she was not and has not been surprised that he has been the last one to know just about everything in their lives including that her Dad is running for president. If he has known, then he would have been told with her when they arrived and he was not told until dinner whereas everyone else at the table knew. She is not a dumb woman, this event and many earlier makes it very clear she did know he was in the dark about many things.

This is an excellent story as usual.

I am enjoying this story just as I have enjoyed your others. I marvel at not only the plot, the side stories,and the personal interactions, but also the fact that your text is clearly written with the perfect use of English. Can't makeup my mind regarding your background: perhaps you are a lawyer with an academic appointment in a Midwest law school. Can't wait for your chapter 3.

You read enough to know that you are a very good author. The body of comments here is the real put down to those who choose to denigrate your work rather than evaluate, criticize or praise. You need not respond to such nonsense.

You've proven your super talent for creating a believable story. As almost all have sung your praises, I'll just thank you for sharing your works with us and wait til the next submission arrives. You are the best!

but this is very good work, and even guitar playing lawyers are worth a blank check or two for small editing errors.

D

Simply Unbelievable! A Chicago blues based lawyer playing a TELE??? I would think at at least a ES335, a Paul, or some other kind of Gibson. Only women and Bruce Stinkspring play Tele's and drive Mustangs. LOL! Just kidding! I just assumed his new/used car was a Mustang. I Love stories about sex, drugs and rock & roll. If you count the booze as drugs, and the Tele playing as rock & roll, all we need now is some sex.

The author has a wonderful almost evil way to create sympathy towards the character he want the reader to feel sorry for.

That alone makes the author's work outstanding, along with creating a very complex storyline.

Thanks for the read.

I'm on board for the duration. This is a great story. Well written and certainly believable. Guess if I heard my parents and in-laws talking trash like Mark did, I think I would have done a runner at that moment. But in the long run, I’d still want to talk to my wife about everything before deciding on my next step. Clear the air so to speak.

Did Sandy have an affair? Seems like it based on the circumstances presented, but Mark will never know for certain if she did unless they talk. AND the Judge does have a tendency to throw us an occasional curve in his stories, so until we get more info, I’d say the jury is still out on this.

Politics and politicians? Hate it and them and damn near everything related to the two. Personally, this story just reinforces my aversion to the both of them.

Love the use of old characters and settings from the Judge’s other stories. Their inclusion tends to make us feel comfortable with the new characters. Plot twists, such as Mark's "brother" make for interesting side-bars. Another "red herring?" Maybe...........

Thank you, again for creating such a wonderful story.

First of all it is believable and it came easy. I anxiously await tomorrow and see how it goes with Teddy. I also wonder if Whitney & Rebecca screw up and get word back to Tennessee.

Rehnquist's stories are something like looking in the back of your closet and finding something you haven't worn for a while that fits, feels good, and is perfect for the occasion. I really liked running into Whitney again at the bar and then having Teddy Cooper show with all of the music gear. A story gets comfortable when the characters are familiar.

There will be some tie-in with the family back in Tennessee and all of Mark's new folks in Illinois, but it isn't quite clear yet what that will be like. There are so many unresolved questions about Mark and Sandy as couple. If a serious relationship with Whitney is in the works more of Mark's lawyering background needs to come out and into that relationshop. The Chief Justice has some serious scribing to do in the next couple of chapters to get where things are suppossed to end up. Still more wait and see; I do enjoy reading a story and watching it develop. I'll overlook the few proofreading glitches.

This is a excellent story but it shares a common idiosyncrasy with the husband running away genre; we don't get the 'rest of the' story until the end.

So Mark overhears his political family saying his life was all arranged for political convenience. Well DUH! Come on! He already knew this. He knows the games they play. He knows that they pushed Sandy and him together.

What we still don't know is what Sandy thinks. The family talks to Sandy and she indicates the marriage is OK but gives NO indication of what she is really thinking. She answered a politically motivated question in a political way, that's it. She was a mystery in the first chapter and this chapter clarifies nothing. By running away, Mark makes no effort to find out what she really thinks. Mark doesn't really care too much about the political games the elders are playing, only Sandy matters and what she thinks is dragged out to prolong the story.

His life as a bartender is interesting but it is all just a side story until we eventually are allowed to get Sandy's thoughts which will, of course, resolve the story. It's interesting that Whitney serves as a substitute for Sandy, essentially describing her life as Mark envisions Sandy, having a marriage of convenience, not love. But Whitney is a straw man. In the end it's a daisy decision, "She loves me, she loves me not". It's all up to Sandy.

I find the focus on the question of how long it would take for Mark to be discovered in Grant City irrelevant. I don't think Mark can be extradited from Illinois to Tennessee for walking on his wife and that seems to be his only crime since he did tell the HR director of his law firm that he was quiting. Mark clearly isn't motivated by money or fame. As far as the other universal motivator, sex, he already has a couple in his sights in Grant City and Sandy is now suspect in his mind. If poppa and poppa-in-law locate him they can't make him come home and even trying wouldn't look too good as headline news in a presidential campaign. I think it is another non-issue.

Maybe I was looking for too much after I really liked the first submission. This one left me feeling a little short. The writing was good, as could be expected, but the story just didn't seem to grab me as tightly as yesterday's. Also, unless something else is added, I was disappointed in the reason for Mark's running away. It just seemed to be a rush to judgment to run away for good after just what he overheard. Perhaps to escape for a week or two might be more appropriate. But, maybe there are more revelations to come. I do find myself curious about whether the little boy is his brother, or his nephew.

I'll be gone five hundred miles before the day is done. Good time to bail. He could not stay in a place where treachery abounds. It will rest on the scale of backstabbing by the wife. Will they live happily ever after in Grant City? I think you are covering the human interaction well. I know people like this. The author is right, the southern drawl works most every time the northern women love it.

Rehnquist, I just discovered you as an author, although I have read thousands of stories on Literotica. I'm impressed! What impressed me the most was how you seem to follow L'Amour's process when writing a story. His law was that you didn't write about a place or object without first visiting that place or object and leaning everything possible. In reading this story, I was pleased that you seem to follow the same dictum--you know the places of which you write and you teach your readers about your characters instead of creating empty shells of people who can't even speak in the vernacular of their supposed region.

Although I consider myself a VERY amateur author, I still know just how difficult it can be to flesh out a plot and to maintain continuity. Unfortunately, a FEW of your readers can't seem to comprehend this difficulty and are only capable of negative comments. I applaud your self-assuredness in disregarding those comments and urge you to continue your excellent writing. I assure you that you have gained at least one new fan!

The closer the kin, the deeper it goes in. The people you trust the most....

story then he has been found. The videos would most likely be on the net before he hit the bed.

I like the way this is developing and how other stories are mixing into this one.

I am enjoying this story. Damn it is sooooo!! entertaining. Thank for sharing this gem.

My guess (possible spoiler): Papa and Papa-in-law already have Mark in their sights, planning their next move......... but wait, since Mark is in Grant city (of all places), he must have discovered something about his father's love child and that means the desparate duo must do something to prevent Mark from upsetting their political apple cart. Maybe something evil and diabolical?

Stay tuned for the Judge's next installment.

I'm not one who tries to figure out the direction the story will go. I just like to be drawn in and carried along. And this one is for certain doing that for me. I appreciate the work you put in writing and re-writing from different perspectives. How can you possibly receive enough from these comments and ratings to compensate you for this truly excellent story?

DP

CW,

People do get married for all the wrong reasons. My sister did that, in her first marriage. She had just graduated from college, all her friends were getting married, a young man she knew proposed to her, so she said yes. She told me later that she didn't know what else to with her life at the time.

It lasted less than three years and then they were in divorce court. No kids, which simplified things.

But yeah, it happens all the time.

I just found Chapter 2 as I have missed a number of days of newly published stories. I try to check your story list about once a week to see if you have a new story. I'm really enjoying this one. But then, I've really enjoyed most of what you write.

Your crafting of stories and characters is so impressive. I wish more contributors to the site would work to develop their skills instead of substituting sexual encounters for a well developed story. Sex can be part of a story but if it is the whole story it quickly becomes boring.

I'm eagerly awaiting the ensuing chapters!

So far, so good,

I do have to say that it could look like that Mark gets back with Sandy. Now, I'm not a RAAC kind of reader however, there is no proof of an affair by Sandy. It sure looks like it especially with those three friends of Sandy that Mark called in the first chapter.

I see his flight as a way of re-examing of his life so far. I see that maybe that Sandy fell in love with Mark, even though she does think that Mark is aware of the 'arrangement'. Mark's parents though, what a piece of works they are.

You're building up to something, I do hope that it is worth the wait.

Whitney

Rebecca

Sandy

Claire

Who will it be???

If Mark really wanted to lose himself, he needs to disappear better. Considering what family hes married into and who his father is, they can find him if they want to. With her father putting in his hat to run for president, I'm sure they are going to have people looking for him. I can't wait to see what happens when he meets his brother and the mom.

Great story, please keep it up.

Great story very good writing and love all the characters from all you other stories keep it up

I love the story and the characters are so real. As usual, keep up the great writing.

--it's pretty much all been said. The Judge is a terrific writer, and the story is totally engaging.

That said, it did feel like this chapter was treading water a lot. We know about his parents and Sandy's: they are utter low-lifes.

But until we know what Sandy knew, and felt; and whether and to what extent she was fucking around; the story can't really go wherever it's meant to go.

And, of course, that secret brother of Mark's in Grant City might be a secret nephew, mightn't he? Couldn't Mark's deceased big brother Stevie have knocked up his father's pretty secretary?

Thanks, ohio

It's automatic, I see your name and I read. This is a little John Grishomesque(?),

I have a friend from India. He went on vacation for a week. Came back with a wife whom he had never met, but the marriage had been arranged for over 20 years. His answer to my question was "You meet, fall in love and get married, we get engaged, meet, marry, and then fall in love." I have hope for a 'happy ending' and Harry be damned! LOL

Thank you so much.

Could the son in law of a Governor risen to Presidential candidate, son of a state seneator, go missing for all that time with no one finding him - I do not think so, this is laughable. And the two female lawyers who recognize him do not do a google search on him and discover his past? Are all of his family keeping his running away secret? I mean the premises for the story is unreal. Perhaps if he was a regular Joe, his escape would be plausible, but such a high profile figure, well it just makes the story unrealistic to say the least.

Nary a misstep that I could see.

Think you touched something in all of us---the desire to pick up and leave. And being able to go back in time to a truer love to boot. All of us were in a band, or something like it, way back when before life happened. What better way to sooth the burn of betrayal than slipping back to the golden days.

I especially like the freshness of this Loving Wives story. Not at all the way I remembered from when I first started reading Literotica. Those all seemed to be "Somebody Done Somebody Wrong" songs. This is complex and imaginative. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I've waited a long time for your next submission and you never disappoint. Your writing is just in another league from the usual stuff we read. My feeling when I read this chapter is that his reasons for flight were not very convincing, but so what ? I am hooked in a great story by a master storyteller.

Why only 4 chapters ?

Yes, Sandy's father is very powerful -- inside his own state. But outside those borders, not so much.

Between Mark's father and father-in-law, I'm sure they have access to private investigators who would have found Mark as soon as he obtained his Illinois drivers license. But then what's the next step? Call the Illinois State Police to pick him up? There would be too much risk of the story being leaked to the press. Kidnap Mark with some kind of commando raid? That would likely tick off Mark enough that he would turn the story into a public scandal himself. Use a third party to approach Mark? That could either tick him off or cause him to take off again.

As far as the families would be concerned, as long as Mark is staying below the radar and keeping it in his pants their best move is to do nothing but watch him to keep him out of trouble and to see if he gives them any clues about why he bolted in the first place. He is simply too dangerous, especially since if he is being followed he will have been seen watching Clarice Talbott's house. And since Mark has shown as least passing friendliness toward Whitney and Rebecca, I wouldn't be surprised to see one of them mention in the next chapter that they were approached by a man who asked questions about him.

The families are so used to their aristocratic lifestyle that they can't imagine living amount the "common people" by choice. They will figure that Mark will get tired of "slumming" and come home on his own after what they see as his childish tantrum.

Another great story.

Some guy named lordslamdawg complained about the poor portrayal of New Orleans in the story. Perhaps NO was unrecognizable because it is not in this story! The only New Orleans referred to here is the Amtrak train which runs berween Chicago and New Orleans daily (or nightly).

I can't add anything beyond what's already been stated. I'm enjoying the paced build up of the story, although, as more than one commentator has expressed, I can't wait for the rest of the story.

Great writing!

I like these characters. You've created the situations with enough moral ambivalence that I'm not sure where you're going to take them, even though I've read "goin' back home again" a few times. Thanks for the effort, and keep it coming!

You have a wonderful feel for a story, I am convinced you have a future as a serious writer.

This is to good just to stay on this site, send it everywhere.

To those few who call this story ‘Crap’ without rational thought or explanation.

Call this comment what you will, call me a sycophant or whatever, but I feel the few (very few actually – well, maybe 1) who slam this story without construct ought, really, to look at the ratings for stories denoted in the ‘submissions’ section of each author’s profile.

This episode alone has a ‘4.86’ (out of 5.00) and when I vote it will go up!

In fact, Rehnquist has submitted 28 stories or story episodes with an AVERAGE of 4.72. The lowest he has ever got is a ‘4.6’.

Even DQS1’s excellent WWWM masterpiece got only (ONLY!!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO) 4.68 over all episodes. Of course that was (is?) a marathon story as opposed to these 10,000 meter ‘sprints’ which Rehnquist prefers but, nevertheless, it demonstrates that Rehnquist (like DQS1) writes stuff people like, want more of and even miss appointments over (LOL SS06).

Rehnquist has made it clear he welcomes constructive criticism and I’m sure he’s genuine with that sentiment, so please don’t ‘diss’ without reason.

Just a thought – if it’s not welcome I apologize – with no offence intended.

Note - if others don't like my comments I can live with that. It's just that I don't like to see these Labors of Love 'diss'ed in such a barbarous fashion. if people don't like the story they have a right to say so and, hopefully, a duty to themselves to explain why. QED

The guy is a bit too good to be true, big equipment, good lawyer, nice guy, apparently talented musician; but otherwise the story makes some sense. Presumably he will grow up and talk to Sandy. When I have wasted my time reading the highest rated stories in loving wives, I have found the writing to be sometimes adequate but the story-lines preposterous. This one, while somewhat contrived, is mostly well written and the characters are believable.

Curious, this author has only written 9 stories on the site. I do not see how you can consider multiple chapters of a story as separate. There are only 9 stories in my humble opinion. And as far as mine and other's comments about him hiding - he might well not be outed by his family but do you honestly think that the press would not out him - during a presidential campaign by his father in law. Especially when they see he is never by his wife's side? Do you not think the press would be hunting him down? That is what is not plausible with me. As soon as the press found he had quit his job and left town, they would be all over it. And please do not say they would not know - LOL

I'll hazard a guess. I am quite certain that it will turn out that the "son" of Clarice Talbott is not really hers, but the son of Mark's wife Sandy. The father is probably really Mark's father (or perhaps her own father). If so, then Clarice was probably paid off to raise the kid as her own son to avoid embarrasment to the high and the mighty political dynasties. Incest, or even just an unfortunate out of wedlock kid from Sandy, would be a political disaster in the conservative bible belt South.

People People People - Has it sunk in yet that he has run from his conniving using parents as much as what appears to be the main player in a scam for his life? He has no one back there to talk to or relate to.<P>

As deep as this author is - Cmon! In this case "The Running" criticism is a weakly sought one without foundation.<P>

Plough on McLawyer - you are appreciated.

Thanks from respect1self

A little Thomas Hardy description of the apartment over the Mississippi, a little Jeffrey Archer with political intrigue, some John Grisham on the law and as we all enjoy an original Rehnquist. Loved it

Dilemma,what dilemma? The protagonist has decent instincts, thus far. Whitney thinks letting someone believe there were happy moments works? If she 'cheated' for a period of the marriage, then wouldn't it raise doubts about the whole thing? A sham from the beginning? In any case, I suspect he'll find his situation more transparent, and choices more honest.

First – I never commented on the story content in my last post, so story details at the point I made my comments weren’t an issue – it was merely aimed at Anons who were being needlessly abusive.

Second – I mirrored Lit in publishing story AND/OR story episode scores (I did make that clear). Whether there were 9 or 28 stories/story chapters is irrelevant because the overall average remains the same, so it doesn’t matter how the total is computed.

Thirdly, my post was simply to demonstrate that 95-99% of people like the story as it is, no matter what logic errors and other roadblocks anyone may erect, whether in haste or at leisure.

Finally - and again please don’t take offence because none is intended – this is a story, a very enjoyable story, told by an excellent author who knows how to entertain. Whatever foibles and minor errors in the story are therein contained don’t matter a rodent’s rectum – I’m enjoying the story as it is, not how I would necessarily prefer it to be, or how it may be if I had the temerity to try and write my own story as skillfully as he writes it.

Compare this story to the average Hollywood version of a decent novel (“based on……..” !@#$%^&* - my ass!) and tell me that this story is somehow deficient! It’s a story – it’s fiction and it’s enjoyable, and it’s riveting. Quit finding plot holes and enjoy the read. Enjoy the start, middle and end and be content with what you’ve got. This isn’t a logic exercise and, in the end, hopefully you’ll get what you paid for it!

No offense meant, but Rehnquist has probably invested in excess of 100 hours on this 'little' tale - for free!!!

Salut!

Like always you piss me off cuz you make me look so bad.

I have thoroughly enjoyed it so far and can barely wait to see where you takes us. I would not dare to speculate, but I'm sure you will bring it to the best possible conclusion.

By the way, I appreciated the way you took that anonymous asshole to task. A man who doesn't have the sack to offer criticisms under his own name deserves just what you gave him!

I also prefer Electro-Spanish series for the blues sound. Other than that, it was a good story. Thanks.