All Comments on 'The Lazy Lemon Sun Ch. 04'

I don't know how many times I have read this and all of your other stuff. Maybe 3 or 4. You do a great job - almost perfect with a great tale, interesting plot and well-set characters. So I was teary and suddenly realized it was just a story. I think it would be a great base for a movie..........one I would go to see. So, I'm looking for more because you are one of the very best writers on Literotica but I realize you have a life too and maybe you want to do something else other than satisfy my cravings for some great entertainment. Thanks!

Sandy was a pleasant surprise. I'm usually in the BTB camp. But I was cheering for this reconciliation.

Americans are a savage, cruel and ruthless people. (see genocide of Native Americans and enslavement of Africans in Americas) They aren't just people who do cruel and heartless things to others. They coerce and bribe other people to do cruel and heartless things to others. (see "coalition of the willing" in Iraq)

I'm a Black man who was born during America's racial apartheid era. I have been conditioned to expect the worst from Americans. And usually they deliver with gusto!

So imagine my surprise, not mention "warm and fuzzies", when Sandra turned out to be a keeper.

I realize she is a fictional character. But she was the 1st "stereotypical" beautiful women, not to mention Southerner, that I thought was worth keeping.

Bravo!

Robert

I love this story! It started slowly, but perfectly built to a very complex and believable tale. You haven't submitted anything in a while so I'm guessing you've given up writing--and that makes me really sad. You have a wonderful talent in writing and I wish you would do more of it. I love your work!

All of them about the town and knowing other characters beside the main couple.

Fantastic.

I hope you write about Jammer and Jennifer too

I've seen the title posted several times and for whatever reason passed it by. Wish now I'd read it sooner. Very good writing and story. I'm afraid I'm mostly with the BTB crowd, but this tale and the plot erased that notion. Stay with the good work. Cheers!

I love your work, it's as good as I've ever read,but what pisses me off is I only have one more of your great stories to read.

One of all your stories. Really good stuff.

This is the second story I've read by you, and you are my favorite author on this site. Hands down. No competition. Thank you for your stories

I really would like to see a short follow-up, I forget what they call them (I'm an old man) telling that his Senator Dad had given up politics and gotten rid of his wife and is spending his time up in Podunk Junction being a good grandfather and make things a lot better for the Mother of his grandchild. Maybe a ten years down the road thing saying that Sandy and our diffident hero and their three kids are doing well. That the two lady lawyers are married and happy (surprise there, Rebecca, settled down and happily married) and that the Professor has a good income coming in from songs that have been published. Maybe you can have his Mom bite herself and die (still a bitter bitch) before his Dad moves up to Podunk Junction, that would spare the politicians the bad publicity. Also that Sandy's dad failed in his bid to get the Presidency and is content with just being a conniving, crooked lawyer. Please consider writing an Epilogue (finally remembered the name) for this about five or ten years down the road. And thank you for writing this story and you made the ending fairly happy for me. I was right about Steve being the father but not about the rape (never occured to me).

You have a rare talent that is a pleasure to visit--the only thing are some of the glaring errors in vocabulary and idiom usage--they just interrupt the flow of the stories like a stumble in a pleasant walk--please get an erudite editor and one who will edit your typing--I have read the Gray stories and now the Lemon series--I plan to enjoy your others very soon. All 5's. Thank you for your efforts.

This was such a good story for the first two chapters then you went and fuck it up by cutting off the balls he had just grown. His marriage was a farce, his wife and family were all screwed up, they all betrayed or used him. The story would have been better with him facing them all down exposing their corruption to the media, then walking away from it all to enjoying the new life he had created for himself. Hell it might even be an inspiration for a new song! Writing style and general story line was good but ending ruined it for so I only gave it a rating of 2

Nice story however would have enjoyed more if mark would have eventually decided to run for the office knowing he likes to help people

This was quite good but the ending about who the father was could be seen a mile away. I noticed it with the timeline immediately. Try to be a little more mysterious there to keep people guessing. What was Rebecca's hangups about marriage? Nap could have been developed a little further to show the true desperation of prison life. You mentioned he would not survive if left in prison but did not explain why. This could have added an entire chapter and lent a further emotional element. The reference to the bust of the KKK founder could have added another idea. Was Nap white or black? Maybe I missed something about his race but that could have added another twist. I enjoyed the story and not disparaging as I gave it 5 stars but just some criticism to help get creative juices flowing. Good job.

I liked this... and in spite of people's sometime preference for BTB stories, in this case she wasn't a Bitch...

The way it came together and the information provided made it clear she was tricked as well - it just turned out her being duped was by them letting her think he knew...

And it turning out to be that the mom was the worst of the lot made so many other things make sense , what a hateful c#nt she turned out to be...

And I wouldn't worry about the real parent of Schuyler being obvious, if you pay attention to life it's amazing how many things just become obvious...

I think that the characters did not keep their persona. His father was not the same person in Chapter one as here. His mother goes off the deep end and is completely changed, almost as if it is two different authors.

Sorry I don't comment on all the 4 submissions but I like to finish it all as one story. You are a very good writer. There are some areas in your stories that I think a good editor would catch but then again you are doing this for love of writing not money. I would also admit that I would only be making that comment for constructive ammunition for you and never to indicate I have not loved every one of your short "stories".

I wish you all the best and hope you keep going.

This story was tightly organised and well presented. The emotion was thru the roof and saturated with drama. The outcomes were not totally shocking but hard to predict. Thank You!

I did seem to lose a little from the first two chapters. I wasn't crazy with the reconciliation but everything turned out well in the end. Enjoyed reading. Thanks.

I ended up disliking Whitney even more than before. Good lord she treated her ex from the other series like shit and to then refer to the cop as her hero? Wow. She'd be dead if her ex wouldn't have went out to rescue her. The cops were along for the ride. She really did never deserve him.

Liked the story. Well written and a great read. I like how you interweave the characters from other series in.

A lovely tale with interesting characters. I found that I wanted to find out more about the past, present and future of the supporting characters.

Keep writing and Ii look forward to reading more of your tales.

I'm relatively new to Literotica, but over the past year I've read a large number of the submissions in the LW genre and have learned to appreciate those at the top of the game. In my opinion your body of work is the best that Literotica offers. Kudos! Originality, plot development, character development, pace, and the ability to close a story without the reader reaching ahead because his attention was lost truly sets you apart. I love your work and admire the obvious effort you put into your work. In my family our colloquial expression for a job well done is "ya done good". Ya done good!

RI

A very unusual, exceptionally well plotted, highly intelligent story. Quibble: You gave short shrift to the relationship with Rebecca. I think it would be an issue with Sandy.

5*

It was really touching. I shed a few tears

thank you for such an enjoyable story. it brought back some memories and a few ghosts

for pathetic reading 1 star

No doubt about it. The hours you spent crafting this were woth every minute. Thanks for that time. SO YOU DO THAT FOR FREE and some aonymous prick writes the last comment. Nice work.

A well crafted story. A bit predictable in spots but still a great story.

I have enjoyed reading all of your stories. Keep em coming.

I really wish this author would write some more stuff. This author and DanielQSteele are the best authors on this site, and they don't write anymore. I wish these two would give us some more stuff to read. These two guys draw you in to the story in such a way that you can't help but to fall in love with the people. We need more authors like this on this site.

Nice that some characters from previous stories got woven in....please write some more!

Sandy is always going to be a lying, cheating, WHORE wife & the first opportunity the tramp has she'll have one, two or three of her slimy holes filled with strange cocks! What is it they say ... oh yeah "Once a cheating WHORE wife ... always a cheating WHORE wife!" She can't help it .... it's in her DNA to be a low life cum dump .... it's the nature of any & all females who choose to lie & cheat on their husbands/boyfriends ....

.... just like it's in your DNA Rehnquist to write RAAC stories, portray your lead male characters as limp dick wimps AND OF COURSE be a world class WHORE wife APOLOGIST!!!

So continue to fault the innocent & protect the guilty .... it's in your DNA!

I can be as vindictive as the next person, and many of these bitches deserve whatever happens to them, but why do so many of you spew such venom when some who is truly sorry and deserves forgiveness gets some?

Did your mommies not breast-feed you enough?

so many egos. so many manipulators. too many totally negative situations to be enjoyable.

The idea that they could conspire and deceive him for 9 years is a little hard to believe. You have to think about all the possible flaws in their plan. Certainly his wife would have brought it up at one time or another, if only to see what was going on in his mind. Women are curious about stuff like that. If she knowingly was part of the conspiracy from the beginning that would be a different story, but then of course she would be a different person too. I have seen women get pissed off at their husbands/ boyfriends and cheat on them. It is not all that unusual. The trouble with it is the logic. If that is how you behave when faced with a difficulty in a marriage, how are you going to behave when the shit really hits the fan. Stress testing your mate is very useful. What happens if they have kids and she gets pissed off at him and cheats again? Now the kids are fucked along with him! Talk about pain and suffering. No, the best thing to do is to divorce her and find someone with a stronger character. Someone who can handle being a parent. After all, that is the only really good reason to get married - kids! Also, give a detailed interview about why you are divorcing her and really clean the wound out. Tell the truth, it really will set you free.

I disagree with many of the comments about this story. I really liked it, don't consider the premise impossible (as many on this site are) and have no problem with Mark taking Sandy back in these unusual circumstances.

If you don't like his work then for God's sake and the rest of us don't read it or quit the diatribes

auhunter04@yahoo.com

I hate you wimpy little sniveling jerks that hide behind Anonymous.

Had a commander once that said if you didn't have the guts to sign it, he did not have the time to take it seriously

so piss off

Well written, interesting story. Held my interest throughout.

"swear to God, if he'd been in that room when I showed up--if he'd been there, I'd have killed him with my bear hands"

page 2: "bear" should be "bare"

Still one of the best.

Hey anon from 5/9 - he could be using as a descriptive ;)

Honesty and love WIN.

I feel you think that Dabiel Q Steele is a talent.....you bring people from previous stories just as he does. I must say I agree with your assessment of his talent. I like your characters better. Alot better. This was an excellent story. I don't usually care for reconciliation stories.....at all. This story is the exception. The only thing you didn't explain is why Rebecca is not marriage material. She was definitely jealous of Sandy. Maybe I'll find out in a future story.

Your characters come to life, your story line in remarkable. Just a wonderful story.

He would have never left Sandy without explaining he overheard their parents or having learnt about the arrangement... Some parts written from Sandy's feelings would have added quite a bit

I like BTB but once in a while an author can draw me over to reconciliation,good job.

The only problem I have with Rehnquist is that he doesn't write even more stories.

Did you mean Sandy? You are a very good storyteller. I enjoy reading your works!

I can't criticize your writing skills since I have just finished reading this story for the third time.I love all of your work and hope you will continue to turn out new material. I will keep checking back. Thank you!

Wonderful story of love, loss, pain, and redemption. As a retired lawyer myself, I rarely read books or stories about lawyers, but this story was really intelligently conceived and beautifully written. It was truly a pleasure to read.

to 'Anonymous' of 16/6 who reckon the story sucks - please give us an address to read one of your stories, for free, so we can compare it with one to determine just why it sucks.

I really enjoyed to story and well as the writing. If you wrote books, I'd buy them all.

Thanks, B

I was rooting for Mark and Rebecca, kinda sad that he got back together with Sandy. Her cheating wasn't justifiable, she didn't believe the words of her husband despite falling in love with him? Even if it was an arranged marriage, she even said that she suspected he was truly in love with her before he started to pull away a bit due to being tired from work. The fact that the whole relationship started based on deceit, is a bit too much for reconcile in my opinion. Not sure how I feel about Whitney, in TDGG, I felt sympathetic for her a bit, but now to find out it wasn't that she was just tired of her life, but it was that she actually didn't love Luke at all really just really kills any initial sympathy for her. All in all this story was told really well, and its the best of the three LW series that you have imo.

Its interesting seeing well written stories like this on this site. I liked it, you need a little more bang (unsetteling anti-climaxes) multi smaller plots more in depth. And, maybe, you just might make some money with your stories....bill

Sorry, I don't like leaving coments till the end, unless the story in not complete. Very satisfied with your finish, need more bang though....

Oldstormy. This blatant sense of entitlement. You don't have to like a story, but at least tell the author why. They give us their time and talent, and all you can say is "this story sucks, just like the other 37 of yours I have read."

I have recommended this story to introduce Literotica to friends. Believable characters, realistic situations and excellent banter. I love Renquists stuff.

But a great story to fill in the scaffolding.

Just wasted most of a whole "Labor Day" reading this story... It was worth it. If you ever decide to write again, you need an editor. Mostly dumb mistakes, usually names.

xxxhugsxxx

This is one of the best stories on Lit and you're not writing any more. Dammit. Goddamit. God, god, god, godammit. RQ, you talked about this being the start of some other stories in Grant City and we're not seein' 'em. I'm pissed. Really, really, really pissed. Like that's gonna go a fuckin' thing.

RQ, please come back. All is forgivin' and we love you.

The voice in this story was unmatched. I wanna know what you had in mind for the other characters in Grant City. They're just in Limbo until you unleash them...

I can only echo the sentiments of the previous commentator-a superb story rich in character and plot development. If in fact ,however, you have promised other stories set in the same locale I may be compelled to file an action seeking enforcement of that freely assumed obligation. Surely we can achieve an amicable settlement. Just two more?

Congrats R ! Well written, well thought out, lovely ending....overall a real gem.

Loved it I think covers it all. Good job.

Thank You. You are a very gifted writer. Thank you for sharing this part of your creativity. This story touched me in so many ways. I appreciate how much you put into each character. They were real. Keep up the good work. It's hard to find. May you continue to find your voice and express it freely. You are one of the Greats.

A story this well written has to take a lot of thought and work. The story was well balanced, providing all the details without getting bogged down. Great read! Thanks.

I was ready to crucify Sandy before all the problems were ironed out. Mark's mother was a real bitch, huh? Shit happens. Very good writing and reading. Fantabulous story. Cheers!

There were several places where an editor confused character names; like Whitney when you meant Sandy. It happened more than twice. Some things that spell checker can't catch is one thing, but the names of the major characters? I don't know how Literotica works with authors about resubmits, but one more scrub wouldn't hurt.

Great story theme and well written. You are by far the best write in Literotica, for my dime! I thought he bailed out to early along with a real lack of communication on all parts but that is true life. I think it a genre problem with lawyers, especially prosecutors but then again I'm down on most legal beagles. Guess I've been burned once to many times in my life but I know there are really good ones also.

This is my third time through and enjoyed every word again. Makes my proud to see a young guy buck the establishment to go his own way and become successful on his own. GREAT READ!!!! Realdoc.

To them he was a political pawn.

Schuyler was no better, no worse, just a casualty.

The one who got off easiest? Steve

The one who escaped without consequences? Dear olde mom.

Sorry, but RACC is not a happy ending.

five stars is not enough for your work, mister. I need another 5 to make it 10 for the story you wrote. Thanks for writing n sharing this to me

I first read all 4 chapters of this story about a year ago. If it is possible it is even better and more enjoyable this time. This story is like a few others on Lit that are so good they deserve to be published by the main stream press.

I have come across this story late as I am gradually working my way through The Loving Wives Hall of Fame. I wish I had read this fantastic story sooner. I normally look for the BTB stories & my favourite authors are Slirpuff & FTDS, however there is nothing wrong with a happy ending as good as this. I like your writing style, I am English living in the UK so don't propose to understand the US political scene (all I see are image concious people like Obama walking towards a microphone patting little Kids on the head). It also appears that everybody involved in Erotica in the USA is a member of the legal profession, you must nearly all be lawyers.I would have liked more of an Epilogue telling us if his father kept in touch with his grandson, what happened between the father & mother - was she sorry at all. Also I would like to have seen what happened to his developing music career. I think this story is so good I am now going to read all your other work.

Man, what a series this is. I was hopeful after the first chapter that the next three would be as good, but I think each successive one got better, you sure are a helluv writer. This is the most enjoyable series I've read on this site. Well done. 5 * * * * *

great story. love how in the beginning it seems a little to much like a fairy tale and then to find out how it really was one but not for his benefit. so wrong for her to go along with the parents wishes and then to think that he was in on it along. but really glad how it all turned out. great writing

I am not usually for reconciliation with a cheating spouse, but you made it work. I was actually glad when they got back together...and that is unusual. I do have a hard time understanding parents like the ones in this story, that would do that to their children, but I realize that they really could be out there. Thank You for a truly fantastic and enjoyable story.

Write more.

I really enjoy your stories. Great plot development and flow. Beleivable characters with flaws and growth.

Thanks for the good read!

Loved the story keep up the good work

Have reserved my comments for this last chapter. Very well written and held my interest throughout, Every character was clearly defined which brought out the differing moods, feelings and ruthless ambition where the family is used as an electioneering tool. This practice spread to the U.K. in the nineties prior to that you occasionally got a glimpse of a political leaders wife or husband, now they are a part of the political scene, it's all smoke and mirrors and i wish it would stop. There have been many great imports from the U.S. but this is not one of them. I did not like how he bowed to his father in using the limo to pick up Sandy, bulldozed into working where his father wanted. he showed weakness. I did not like Sandy in the beginning nor at the end, allowing herself, quite happily it seems, to be part of marriage of convenience for political ends is a huge character flaw, the sort of thing that could again rear it's ugly head in the future. She would have realised before the marriage that he was not privy to the arrangement because what he would have said and done in public would be very different in private. To reconcile she has agreed to almost unimaginable terms, a complete change of lifestyle and turned her back on her parents, what of her good job with the prestige and freedom of travel is affords, her parents are wealthy is she seriously putting any inheritance at risk. I can accept she has feelings for her husband but importantly a divorce has been avoided and in time little by little things will normalise with her parents and of course he will succumb because he loves her, he is weak.

You're a great writer and this is an awesome story. 5/5

This has to be the best thing I've read on this site. It wasn't just a story, but an experience. I felt that I was there with them through the entire experience. I also love how this story links with other stories that you've written. Excellent! Only gave 5 stars because I couldn't give 10.

Great story telling as always, and a drawing of complex characters with complex, sometimes conflicting, motivations that is nearly flawless. Intrigue, twists and turns and a happy ending -- what more could we ask?

It is difficult for me to buy in to the premise that Sandy, or any other woman, would willing enter into a marriage she thought of as a temporary/short term political favor to her parents. Kinda like the ads you see on late night cable, a no risk trial offer. If not satisfied after the period, return the unused product for a full refund. After which the family will act as if it never happened

Or that she acquiesced to the male female role so fully that she was willing to go along with macho man vs compliant woman relationships, because that is just the way it is done in a polite southern home.

I do wish that the text had gone on for a bit longer so we could have witnessed the scene when grandpa went back home to his wife. That one could have played out so many different ways.

It would also be nice to know Clarice got the $1,100 for she was promised for each month of the last seven plus years. She could put the nearly $100,000. to good use.

Congrats. Great story. One of the best I've read on this site. No wonder I keeping seeing it listed as a favourite by other writers. Five out of five. It wasn't too long. It wasn't too short. It had great character development and great setting and you are a wizard when it comes to dialogue. The sex scenes were brilliant. I do love a happy ending and adversity being overcome. It's almost perfect. At the end of chapter three I said I wouldn't change a thing. But ... after thinking and reread I do have some minor constructive criticism. In chapter three I think Mark would be much more hurt by Sandy's confession of infidelity. He just skimmed right past it. The author could have used it as another hurdle to overcome. You came back to it in Ch 4 but again missed with the correct intensity IMHO. I also would have liked to have seen a few of Sandy's jokes about arranged marriage early in the story. (Maybe they are there and I just don't remember them.) There was a point in chapter four when you used the wrong woman's name for Sandy, There was a typo when you said "bear hands" instead of "bare hands." But these are relatively minor proof reading issues. Let me stress again what a great story this is. You should be proud. OK enough praise. I'm off to read more of your stories. Cheers. Steve

This series is perplexing, probably more than any other chain here. The ambiguities in the characters and the ambiguities inherent in the plot mean that each time you read it you can come to a different conclusion regarding its quality and inherent logic. I've probably read this series five times and the first three parts are always 5*. This last part has been rated anywhere from 2* to 5*. I am fascinated that I can have such widely different visceral reactions to a story. This alone makes it outstanding. No rating this time; just a comment.

Sandy may have magically turned round after living her entire life as a shallow self centered bitch, but it just doesn't work. Even if she realized she really cared about Mark, she sure as hell doesn't deserve him.

Worse, Mark comes off looking like a idiot, again, for staying with her. Frankly the only characters that get any sympathy are Clarise and Schulyer.

I think the ones that causes the pain should not get away so easily.

For the first time, I could forgive the cheater. I do t know how, but you made my feelings towards her thaw and I was actually able to forgive her. Bravo

This is my absolute favorite on this site. Depth of characters, good plot, superior writing. Thanks.

five stars. Will Rebecca ever find true love? A fitting ending to a world class tale?

By far the best story I've read on this site.

This is my favorite story/series i have read by you so far. You said in the beginning that it was unoriginal, not so, at least to me. I actually teared up in this part, It was a great story, and even though i was cheering for Rebecca, i am completely satisfied with the ending you have given us. Bravo.

I simply love all your stories! Too bad your not around anymore =(

Great detail of the characters. One of the best stories on this site. Keep on writing.

loved it

You are clearly the best writer here on Literotica that I have found....I wish you were still writing here. If you see this and are writing somewhere else please let me know.

P.S. Did he make millions from his song writing?

One of the most touching, wonderful stories I've read on the Literotica site. I really enjoy your writing (in spite of the small errors that I noticed from time to time). Great character development and fascinating plot (I found that the sex was really incidental to the plot - a sign of a really good story). Loved it all. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I read a lot of what you wrote here on literotica and you are my favorite writer.

You write with a lot of depth and charactor, and this is the story i enjoyed the most. I hope that you will continue writing

I dunno about all that .. but certainly in contention I guess. Always someone to criticize the small shit but not me. The story and the characters sucked me in from start to finish ! Good job. It was a good read. I think there could be more chapters but that's the way it is with a good tale that you're involved with. Thanks Kid ...Scotty

Just wonderful.

Thanks

Like the story..except when Mark took the CHEATING SLUT back... once a cheater always a cheater...u can forgive but never get back together coz u can't trust a slut..again..period. what if she feel a bit moody n cheat again? Unless you dig being cuckolded n that shit turn u on.... I would have throw that slut to the curb..n find Mark a new woman..

U left Some loose end open..Mark Dad..n mom..after effect ice repercussion of her actions n treatment of Clarice... n also Sandy's Dad..

I enjoyed your story. It seems that you have enough fodder to have at least one or more chapters even after this length of time. I know no story is ever really done but you have the grandfather/grandson relationship, a new child, new job and songs to write. Could make interesting reading. Thanks

Excellent story. This is the FIRST story that I've ever read of a wife fucking another man that I'd consider the man taking her back. It would still be hard to do but, with all the knowns, I eventually might.

I and no sane person on Earth is going to believe that b.s. you included about her fucking that guy only FIVE or SIX times during the THREE LONG MONTHS that she was missing, either. As I follow your story-line, it defies logic. She'd have been fucking his ass off. If for no other reason because the guy she was fucking would be wanting her tight pussy every single day and, in real life, she'd have been giving it to him.

Proof reading was sloppy in several areas where the wrong names were used. Silly mistakes by the author but, still, should have been easy to spot by a heads-up editor. .... Left a lot of holes in the story... whatever happened stuff.

Any woman living with a man for three years who's constantly acting in no other way than that he's head over heels in love with her and is totally unaware of it is blind and insensitive asshole who doesn't deserve that man. She's so fucking stupid that she can't see it shining in his eyes? She's already defending him because she loves him and is too fucking stupid to tell him so in no uncertain terms??

As for Mark, when he had that showdown with his mother and father, he should have pointed out to his mother that her actions had caused the woman that he loved with all his heart to fuck another man and then spit in her face.

Does his father ever develop the balls do anything make his wife PAY for what she did regarding the money that was to go to her GRANDSON and his raped mother?

Should have had two or three of Marks songs become big hits by major artists and make him a ton of money, give him notoriety as a song writer and also publish some successful recordings of his own that get him fairly well known as a recording star

.....then, as punishment and public embarrassment to her in her social circles, have it leaked and widely known that his Coldly Manipulative and Insensitive To Human Feelings Mother is NEVER allowed to be near him or in his physical presence for as long as she lives.

“So I guess the issue was whether Whitney willfully blinded herself.” – SANDY, NOT Whitney!