All Comments on 'The Lazy Lemon Sun Ch. 04'

Simply AWESOME!

Dude.. If I had just a tenth of your writing ability, I'd be a friggin millionaire.. Amazing story.. Loved it.. I was really hoping Sandy and Mark would be able to work things out, and I'm glad they did.. Can't wait to read more of your masterpieces.. Loved everything you've written thus far, and definitely hoping for more in the near future.. :)

Nice well drawn out drama!!!

Really loved it. Good pacing and some decent character development, besides i am an old softy for a story like this.

now one has to decide on how much sweetener to use. TK U MLJ LV

I think you mean: Awesomer

Ditto to LogicallyInsane's comments. Thanks for all your efforts!

You are one of the best authors on this site. Your stories are well put together and the charactor depictions are first class. I really enjoyed it. Please continue writing.

Very few stories and authors have kept me on edge for the next installment as much as this story did. Not sure if it were ways I could identify with the characters or simply the story itself but I am glad you didn't post it days/weeks apart. A few problems with names here and there but that was negligible in the grand scheme. Thanks for writing and sharing this. You started out by sharing someone else's comment concerning run-away stories. My response to that and any others is, "so what?" The subject of a great story could be the same basic plot that everyone else in the world uses ... the difference is the telling of the story not the subject. Keep it up. I'll look forward to another.

Excellent job, Rehnquist. You never disappoint I stand corrected. You were able to redeem Sandy. Nicely too.

Thanks again for all your spectacular contributions.

i'm not qualified to critique your work. but i'm qualified to enjoy. damn, but your a good story teller. or creator. envy your imagination and skill. i always like seeing the good guy win. thanks.

And done in a plausible manner — all I was hoping for.

I loved your brief description of 'mens rea' at the beginning of this last part - if we didn't know you were a lawyer before, we'd be damn suspicious after that! lol!

One little typo in this chapter -- "bear" should have been "bare.". Otherwise, nearly perfect in a technical sense. Glad everything seems to be working out for Mark, finally. Not clear to this reader if Mark's dad might be thinking about divorcing his monstrous wife. Mark hates his Mom too, so he would be rooting for his father. Rebecca might claim she is not the marrying type, but in the absence of a real demon in her past, I think she, like most women, really wants to marry eventually. Too bad Mark lacks a twin; Rebecca and Mark seemed good together. Possibly an epilogue as a short way to tie up remaining loose ends. Thanks for writing.

Just a great complete story with everything in it. Thanks for sharing this gem!!!!!!

I always look forward to reading your stories. The cast is always full of believable characters who learn and grow from the pain and heartache they endure.

Thanks again... Richard

There are so many FABULOUS aspects to this story it is hard to name them all but I think clearly the most impressive and bigget surprise development in the story is placing the mother has the heart of the blanket of evil which covers the two families.

The development in the story of the connection between the older brother -- who was a bully and a drunk and a rapist and the twisted mother -- was done very well and made the whole story really come together.

The reconciliation was handled extremely well... And I can imagine sandy and Rebecca actual becoming pretty good friends if this story were to continue.

But perhaps the BIGGEST SURPRISE in the story is the surprising depth of the Bar /nightclub owner FERLIN. If you go back and read the previous chapters you'll see that he consistently offers surprisingly deep advice and a psychological insight. It seems to me that FERLIN is the author himself hoping to drive this story and plot along in the direction that he wants it to go. But the characters so well developed that the reader might actually miss how subtle this is.

Last point to make is the relationship between mark and his father. It's comes to a certain point at the end of the story which is very consistent and makes perfect sense and if anything enhances the overall realism of the story.

Mark is smart enough and wise enough to realize that while he is emotionally very hurt and disappointed in his father's behavior ...mark knows that it was not entirely his father's fault. And the financial mistreatment of Clarice and her son was not done by Marks ' father but by his mother. This allows for a potential for some sort reconciliation down the road which actually could end up being a pretty good story in of itself. At least Mark and his dad are still talking and he now realizes how serious is mistakes were.... And that is usually half the battle.

fucking fabulous story.

While I don't normally like reconciliation stories, you succeeded in the redemption of Sandy so well that I couldn't see any other conclusion to this fine tale. I also thought the brick being pushed from the roof was such a good explanaiton of "mens rea" that it would make a great instructional example in anyone's law school.

Thanks for another really fine story. You never disappoint us.

You just seem to write nothing but great stories.

Boyd

loved the story I hope you make a spin off tale about becca Id like to she her find a little bit of happiness.

I very much enjoy reading your stories. I hope that makes you happy.

This was your best story to date. I totally agree with Harry. I think with this story you are beginning to outshine DQS which says a lot. Your ending was spectacular and ended threads started in What You Wish For in a believable and consistent manner. All I can say is that I eagerly await you next story!

lyonsbob62269

Sorry. (It's a fiver.)

Judge, I honestly believe this is your best LIT work to date. A masterpiece. I have thoroughly enjoyed the ride you have shared with us. I’m one of many who have re-read all the chapters just to make certain I didn't miss any of the minutiae or underlying suppositions you created. Fabulous............simply fabulous.

Since you alluded to the many loose ends still remaining, I sincerely hope you do follow through with your tease about future stories, especially answering such questions as to the seemingly unnecessary evolvement of Sandy's parents with Clarice.

You know by heart the loose ends of your story.......now go tie them up for your insatiable fans.

Again, thank you!

It was a ' hell-a-twist ' . Once I wrapped head around that: all the pieces aligned like last ten percent of jigsaw puzzle . Note to self 1) take note of those sandwich recipes for future use and 'U tube ' calico sky' song.

The backseat wannabe author in me says it would have been sweet if his New Millennium Manchurian Candidate- esque mom had been more definitively handed her just desserts in a climactic scene. I'll just have to make up her eventual fate, I suppose. Second & final quibble was that when his mom and deceased brothers true characters were brought to light- it seemed to come as a surprise to him . That's a bit incongruous considering he was ' in the family' .

STILL ! What a strong ending although there was a irksome salty liquid discharge that kept welling up due to something that must have got in my eyes making me blink multiple times when Sandy & Mark recounciled. Very annoying. Maybe I need to adjust the display brightness of I-phone. Though at this moment my eyes are dry and brightness seems fine. Hmmm....

"fucking fabulous story"

Really well done. Brilliant.

Yeah, like everyone here, I'm thrilled when I see your name attached to a story.

As good as it was I thought it lacked some depth. I love bar n grill, but to me, 'Wished For' was your best. The character development made me know them and sorry to see the story finish. I missed their idiosyncrasies, the human fears, mistakes, failure, growth and success.

The promise in this story was there but somewhat flat in the end, in my opinion. I wanted to see the scene with the mother, more of the father-in-law...more of where you take the main character into his 'F U' mode to those who've done him wrong, but willing to show some mercy, even forgiveness to those deserving. I saw it here but wanted more.

You'll be compared to DQS1 because that's the other author. To me, you get in and finish a story, well! On the other side DQS1 puts depth into story telling that can't be beat. Probably too much to the point it obviously couldn't meet the challenge by many to finish, and kind of FUed us. Still hoping and waiting on that.

Love your writing. Love your characters. Want to read and see more of all of them because that's what your story telling does, help me to see these scenes and people in my mind. In my mind the mark of a true author and story teller.

Thanks for it,

Rob

I second Harryin_VA's comments....simply fucking awesome.

I've read a lot of stories on Lit, got caught up in the DQS series as he was writing it but lost the excitement as it dragged on too long.

This story was just right. I couldn't wait for the next day to read the next chapter...to bad some of us have to work!

All round the best story I have read here. EVER!

10 stars!

Rehnquist this was an outstanding story, long and drawn out but worth every line. Thank you, I really enjoyed it. Your in second place on my list, right behind StangStar06. This was truely great man, truely.

And it is, as always, an awesome work. Very nicely done. I believed every character, up to and including Rebecca, who at this point seems a confused little moppet ('I don't want to be married but I really want to be with you'). Women!

And there is a whole lot going on with this guy's mother. One gets the strong sense that she had to make her own set of compromises. She sounds like a Sandy who didn't get the soulmate in some regards. Being married to a politician is very hard and we have no idea how faithful his dad was from the get go.

In fact, that is my only complaint in this entire story: that it is too short. I have a vague sense of exactly what the parents wanted from those two. Was a couple of photo ops really worth screwing with their kids like that? Was this a set up to get Sandy to screw him into politics? The 'use' wasn't very clearly defined for me.

And I take exception to the fact that what happened to him was worse then what happened to Clarice. She was raped, alienated from her parents, living in semi poverty, emotionally scarred, without prospects of marriage, and afraid all the time.

What exactly did he face? He got laid a lot by a hot woman who learned to love him for himself. He got life handed to him on a silver platter. Gee...how he doesn't cry himself to sleep every night is beyond me... He feels like a sucker. Clarice gets to feel like a victim FOREVER!

And in a very small sense, I agree with his mother: She worked and fought and gave her only (remaining) son his wet dream. He was happy; she was happy; what else did he want? What is the difference between her and the grandmother in Longhorn_07's work 'Requital'? Both were manipulative old baggages.

The key difference is that mommie dearest had some self interest involved too. Is that evil? No. But her lack of self awareness was key, I think. That and her actions to Clarice. Those are inexcusable.

THANK YOU! I liked this story enough to wax long winded about it.

Loved it from that wonderful description of the sun right up to the end, though I hated to see it end. You have a way with making your characters seem so real and such an ear for dialog and the ways you connect them all together like our own little dickens. Thanks so much, and now that its done I do think its your best, and one of the best ever written here. Just great! Thanks for sharing.

One of the best stories I've read on the site in a long time. Keep up the good work! The only downside is that I wish there would have been more of an explanation near the end about what happens to some of the people. For instance, we never hear what happens to the evil mother.

Great pick to the other readers who saw that Schuyler was going to be Stevie's son. Definitely didn't see the rape aspect coming. Would have liked to have seen Stevie's character developed a little more than just finding out from other characters what he was like. It was interesting to see the revelation of Mark's mother, I have reserved various expletives for her and in comparison to Tim's character (Knox City) a very slow and painful death for her would've been gladly welcomed. (Fabulously evil and unrepentant character. She and Sandy's father would be a perfect match.)

Slightly disappointed with Sandy and Mark's reunion.

I understand the dialogue, it was incredibly realistic and I completely see where Sandy is coming from in regards to Mark just upping and leaving but even after speaking to him the first time, she still had it in her to lie. I just get this feeling that her character is still very self-centred. Even after everything, and the fact that she suspected he didn't know about the arrangement it's still about her... I don't know, I find it a bit hard to stomach the selfishness. She knew all along, and she went along with it. In fact I kind of feel like she's owes Mark everything for giving her the strength to see that it was wrong and even stand up to her father. If he had never found out, sure he would've been none the wiser, and who knows they all would've lived happily ever after with her falling in love with and believing in the marriage that he thought he was in to begin with.

I get that she is willing to do whatever he wants, but she still wants him to be the old him etc. I don't know, perhaps I'm the sadisitic one because I don't feel like she's suffered enough. Either way you're the author and it's your story :). Thank you!

Superbly written, at this point just slightly edged out by Knox City. Still have to get around to reading some of your other work. (Nicholas Sparks eat your heart out ;).)

It was an amazing story, I know it was because even though i have an ending that i wanted to happen, i can deal with the way it did end and appreciate that if it didn't happen it would of changed the story completely and potentially made it worse.

Great writing.

. . . Garrison Whathisname and Lake Wobegon about half way through this chapter. Everyone ends up in Grant City; they come home even if it isn't really home. Toward the end of chapter three I was thinking about who and where Mark would end up with and there was just this thought barely formed in my mind: Sandy could move to Grant City. Nah, wrong picture, but it works.

You've written a very good love story once again. I think I said at the end of Grey that your body of work centered on mid-America Grant City is fast approaching the publishable anthology state. I would say that Lemon seals that thought completly. With a good final editing pass your group of stories would probably make you a better known author than you are a lawyer (although I have no idea how well you are known as a lawyer).

nice.... not as good as your previous stories, but nice all the same....all the same....

I loved the ending and how the story unfolded with Sandy and Mark getting back together.

I had a sneaking suspicion early on, that the lad wasn't a brother, but a nephew, and the rape situation blew me away.

I'm so glad that I have read this story, it gave me a nice warm feeling when I finished it.

Thanks for the work and effort put into this fine story, I appreciated reading it.

This makes up for it big time. I can even forgive you splitting it into four parts - although the frustration made me more of a miserable old sod than normal. Lovely work!

A great story, what a journey. I loved it. It took me in and spun me with the twists and turns. Thank you.

It did make me wonder if this is a cross over into romance though

:)

Top Story.

More please. Looking forward to the next story. Please keep them coming.

Your writing is fanstatic! Thanks for continuing to bring these stories to Lit.

All I have to say is thank you very much. I haven't been much of a reader for years but thanks to you and your talent

it give me pleasure to read again again.

I have always been a hopeless romantic never admitting it

( I restore vintage Corvettes a hopeless romantic mechanic lol)

I hope you never give up your writing your a true Master of a story teller.

Thanks so much again,David

This has to be one of the best I've ever read on LW! Please keep the story going. Want to see what happens to his bitch of a mother!

Heck! Under the circumstances even I would have taken the slut wife back. However! Mark is still entitled to four or five more fucks in order to achieve parity with Sandy's five or six times with office boy. Mark is off to a good start, but I think he's been listening to Lennon's old bass player way too much. He needs to get a Marshall, a Gibson (or at least a Strat) then tune into some Skinnard, Hatchet, Alman Bros, or Nugent (okay, okay, the Nuge is a right wing-nut whack job, but he CAN rock) which will aid him in growing a pair. I love the fact that a boy's best friend was not his mother, and the Senator was a hen pecked, ineffective, out of touch twad, kinda like most politicians. Great reconciliation story without being too wimpy, this is gonna be a tough act for you to follow.

I'm not overly interested in labelling this a reconciliation story or whatever. I'm interested in the fact that I was thoroughly entertained throughout.

So very well written, and very plausible too I suppose. It was a great story and a pleasure to read.

Thank you.

You need to bring closure to Whitney in your future stories. You painted her into an unloving shrew in this story. She comes off as an uncaring wife. In the other story she was a confused but victimized prosecuting attorney. I know it's just a story but she deserves a better ending then she has now.

Still this is a great story and well composed with good characters.

Would love to read a follow up. Maybe Mark's Dad will grow a pair and have it out with his wife. Mom is missing out on her Grand kids and will have to change to be part of that.

Bill

Damn! 530AM CDT, and 48 comments already. You'd think people liked this or something.

Really fine job of resolving Mark's problems. And I disagree with the commenters who wanted you to resolve all of the various plot threads in the final installment. All that was needful was a resolution of Mark's story, and addressing the mystery of Clarice and Schuyler, and you took care of both of those in fine form.

And the scene with Sandy telling off her dad was nice. Made it real clear which side of the bread she was putting the butter on.

All told, a really satisfying story. It gets a five.

For the last 3 mornings, I've been waiting to read the next chapter. The only thing dissapointing is that its over. Great job and thanks for sharing.

Robo

I don't know that I would call this literotica, but it was a great read. Kinda reminded me of John Grisham for some reason or other....

Great story thanks for the entertainment. Mike from Texas.

If Mark turns out to be as good a songwriter as you are a storyteller, ......But that's a whole other and completely different tale to tell.

Brilliant!!!!!!!

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. What about a movie? It was hard every day waiting for the next chapter and I am only sorry that it is finished. A sequel would be great. Thank you

Fairy tale ending. Just what I wanted. Looks like we think the same in certain situations.

Really surprised by the rape. Mr. perfect brother was not.

Liked that you didn't have him become a famous music star. Would have been just a bit over the top at this point. Maybe you can give him that in a future story tie-in.

This was a very adult resolution to the beinning of the marriage and Sandy's cheating. The world is not black and white.

This was a great story, but you need to put all four parts on at once. It was horrible waiting for each new one. I really enjoyed reading it, the style put me in the room with each person. Great job, I look forward to your next one. Thank you.

Thanks Mr. R. you've done it again. I just love a happy ending.

I'm almost speechless at this story and the unbelievably good dialogue. Now, onto the story. I have two comments:

Ferlin is awful smart, isn't he? Maybe too smart for the backwater town...I know - smart is not restricted to big cities but his intuitive correctness interpreting the human condition is too 'on the Mark.' Maybe he deserves his own story. The second is a tribute to you. John Lurie and the Lounge Lizards made a CD in 1988 called 'Voice of Chunk.' It may be my favorite of all non-classical music. The CD, 9 movements, strikes me as a trip, each piece flowing into the next until the finale. No matter how many times I hear it, it always ends leaving me with a feeling of completeness and a feeling of having taken a trip. It is that completeness from the entire work that produces the satisfaction. Renquist, it strikes me that you did the same with this story. What a trip!

True to your word you didn't use up all of your Grant City characters. So does this mean there will be more? Thanks for a great story but I would like to see a Senator with "bear" hands.

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to read your story. I can't believe that you tied up all the loose ends in this chapter. Great job! I would have liked to learn more about Rebecca but suspect she the the subject of a future story (coming out tommorrow?).

I love happy endings but this reconciliation with Sandy was way too quick. I see her as a young Meg Ryan type. Cute and self centered. She claims that she fell in love with him while married but when she felt he was pulling away from her she did nothing but pout for 3 months and by her own admission, look for his replacement. This was not just lunch. He comes back to her, announces that the project was completed and he wanted to spend time with her. She doesn't ask him if the affair was over or confront him. She abandons him, doesn't take his calls and doesn't explain herself when she returns. And he takes it.

During those three bad months he was working on his first big case. Although he has to keep privileged information from her, she would have heard about the case, the lying cops, seen the transcripts, motions, heard about attempts to find witnesses years later. She is in PR, he would have used her as a sounding board to hone arguments to try to save an innocent man. She would have known all about that case to the point of boredom. Yet in this story, she "loves" him but ignores the obvious and goes out and gets fucked by a guy in her office that she says she never talked to again (the potential replacement)! This is more than far fetched. The scene where he gets up at 5:30 am on a Sunday to go to work (who goes to a lover at that hour?) and she goes out to get fucked that same day and doesn't come home for days because he is ten minutes late is BS.

If she really loved him she would have had him tracked down within a week of his leaving. Our clueless hero asks her how she found him after he filed for divorce giving her his address on papers he had served on her! And now he is teaching law? He should stick to music.

I would have had them separate as friends much like the club owner boss and move on. Rebecca could be fun but we need to know more about her - thats what dating is for.

You did a great job with the Senator and his wife. I can't wait to read your future stories. Thanks for all your hard work. Please publish the "crap" versions that you abandoned. Your "crap" is better than anything else getting put up these days. It is good to see HDK and Ohio are still with us, hope to see their stories again soon.

Grant City becomes real as it is populated by the author with inter-connected characters and families. Just as Hawaii first rose from the sea and then from the author's pen: populated with the inter connecting stories of families who gave it vitality and strength.

I need a database of characters, or at least a spreadsheet. Surely, you must have one. I'd be jealous if I thought you could keep all of these characters and their stories in mind for the years that you have taken to write the Saga of Grant City.

Just add my five stars to all the other positive comments. I can't suggest anything to make it better.

First, I want to let you know how very much I have enjoyed this story and all the others you have so generously shared with us.

Second, I'm hoping that combining this positive feedback with all the rest of the fans who have responded, will encourage you to keep on writing and sharing. I'm already looking forward to your next posting.

No chapter 5? What are we gonna do on the 'morrow?

Loved it, Thank you so very much.

First off this was a very well written story. So good that it is the story I will use to introduce my wife to this site.

Now to the critique. I think Mark got off too easy for running away. His wife shows him how badly that hurt her at more than one point in this story. Mark shows good thought processes with every one else, but in the end only acknowledges what he did by saying " promise ". He could have let her know that he understandshow that hurt her.

Minor critique but a fantastic read. I greatly enjoy your stories

Now that is a great story.

Waited with baited breath for each episode.

Thank you

HuwR

Australia

After reading chapter 3 I had hoped Mark and Sandy would get back together and now I’m even happier that they did.

Your description of her obvious sorrow, anguish and contrition was one of the most superbly penned descriptions of sincere emotion I’ve ever read. We all do stupid things without realizing exactly what we’re doing, but it’s the way we redeem ourselves that really counts, and Sandy truly did redeem herself.

I remember reading in chapter 1, when she was waiting for Mark at home after she’d seen him on TV and had her epiphany about him. After that she’d turned herself around and actually did try to make him happy.

Then, in chapter 2, after she realized he was serious about them having a baby, these two passages –

“…then a bright smile came over her face. A look of unbridled joy.”

- and –

‘She hugged me, whispering into my ear, "I really do love you."’

- convinced me even then that she was telling the truth and really did love him. Unfortunately for her it was right before he discovered the plot and left.

However, his departure was necessary, both for his mental health and also to drive home in no uncertain terms that he’d had enough. In addition, although this wasn’t the reason for his flight, it also gave him his wife’s respect. She may genuinely have loved him for 3 years but now she knows he has balls too, as well as being the nice genuine guy. It’s a lesson this hitherto pampered little girl will not soon forget.

The whole story brimmed with excellent portrayals of the characters, their emotional reasoning and actions. I liked the plot, the main venue and most of the characters. Even the not-so-nice ones were believable, sadly so in the case of mommy-dear, who probably parked her turbocharged broomstick on a double yellow before the bar confrontation.

All in all a most enjoyable read, with a great feel-good ending. Those posters who mentioned the loose ends, I don’t know why you’re worried. Just wait for Rehnquist’s next story! I’d almost forgotten the cop from “Damp Gray”, but I knew I remembered Aaron Gavers – he’s part of the cop duo who took part in Whitney’s rescue in that story.

This Grant City anthology (as someone else called it) is a wonderful collection of intersecting circles, each story having its own ‘lens’. Pretty soon we’ll need an index of all the Grant City residents who feature in Rehnquist’s past and future stories (LOL).

As HDK opined, ‘Top Shelf‘ story.

Thanks Rehnquist, for your talent and the sheer ‘grunt’ work involved in pulling all this together.

Having read all of your works I have enjoyed a glimpse into some of those elements that are a part of your being. First you are a lawyer so many of your works have the main character in this field and his portrayal realistically depicts the long hours and struggles that are typical in this vocation as well as the moral and legal wranglings that occur in the back boardrooms as well the conflicts that occur with clients and cases. Your main character often attempts to take the morally high road of what is right and proper rather than what is expedient and financially rewarding. This speaks volumes as to your own character.

You also often chose the settings of your stories in Illinois, near Grant City, though I suspect it really is Granite City, as you mention Madison as a nearby town in another tale. This is likely an area with which you are very familiar and you make your pieces come to life because of the richness with which you blend the structures of the community with the community spirit that is characteristic of that area. It is one with which you are most comfortable and you bring it to life in each of your works by depicting characters that are actually apart of the community in your pieces. This adds depth and realism to your pieces.

In addition you have a love of music and incorporate it into your pieces, at least in this piece, in a manner that enriches the plot and binds the characters more closely together. Your use of musical terms in song writing such as the lyrics, riffs, tempo, and key change as well as different makes of guitars suggest that you are an amateur song writer and artist. This coupled with the bartending skills suggests that you are very familiar with this in your past and use this knowledge to enhance the plot in this piece as well as other works you have created.

Finally, in this piece the main character has chosen to become a legal professor at a nearby university rather than return to being a lawyer may suggest that you are considering a change of vocation yourself in a similar capacity. Doing so would allow you more time to pursue other interests while allowing you to pursue new challenges and impart the same spirit of the law that you have with the hope that your students follow you in what is morally and ethically right and proper for each case they handle. This could bring a great deal of personal satisfaction and peace and allow much more time for all elements in your personal life, making it more rewarding all round. Whether this is true for you or not remains to be seen, though if it is I'm quite happy for you and wish you all the best! Teaching is a most rewarding and challenging experience.

As to this entire piece, I have thoroughly enjoyed it as I have each and every piece of writing you have submitted here. May you continue to find the time to submit others works you may create. I look forward to that time and thank you for all the time and effort it has taken to create each piece you have submitted here.

Take Care & Thank You!

But this adoration is turning his head. He feeds off insults and crticism. That's what drives him to improve. I actually think he screwed up a couple names somewhere in this chapter. How can everyone overlook that?

Seriously, the writing is top notch. Now for a critique. This was a serious piece of writing, thus forcing the writer to be realistic and avoid total fantasy. He pretty much did that, but two things now gnaw at me here. The mother was a cold hearted bitch and he only learned that six years or so after law school? That would indicate that he hadn't been very observant the first 30 years of his life. Not having a glimmer of the evil that is mom is out of character for our hero. The second problem is the ease of the reconciliation between Mark and Sandy. All they had to do was discuss the situation for a few minutes? How the hell did they not do that over the previous six or seven years? The actual problem was only communication? He's a lawyer, a sensitive guy that loves kids, dogs, apple pie, (Not mom) and Chevrolet, but he never mentioned his misgivings about his wife, or noticed that his mom was pure evil? Sandy fell in love with him and failed to mention it, or discuss life, kids, family, goals, dreams, etc.?

The father part was really good. He had the ring of truth to me. Mom was believable, but not the fact that Mark never noticed she was an evil bitch. The marriage failure and salvation seemed really simple.

Conclusion: The Chief is probably the best we have here. This was an excellent story. Babbling about how much I love it won't help The Judge do even better, if that is even a possibility. We've had the pleasure of watching him grow in leaps and bounds as a writer and I'm hoping he gets even better. Selfish, ain't I?

I have not a crumb of talent, but I appreciate great writing when I have it in front of me. Congratulations - I haveread many of your stories but this was the one that grabbed me!

Thanks for the great read.

Max

I really didn't want to see him get back with Sandy. I wanted him with Rebecca. There is definitely a story there. You have to tell us more about Ms. Galardo some day. I love the ending. The dialog between Mark and Sandy was priceless. Maybe it's just me but I still don't trust her. Her personality seems to have changed too abruptly. Also as I think about it. Her affair though she explained it away bothers me. She had her fling and did it while they were married. Then she felt bad about it because she realized that he really loved her. So she went back and busted her ass not out of love but out of guilt. Mark slept with Rebecca, but only because he thought the marriage was over. I still don't see the forever thing happening here. Even Rebecca's words "Next time" sound as if she knows that she'll end up with him eventually. All in all I still think it's the best story on this site since DGG. Great job. SS06

A very good story, about the timid young man, that lived in his brothers shadow. Was manipulated by his mother, father,and his wifes parents as well, for their own political gains. He ran away to find himself, and while doing, that he turned into "THE MOUSE THAT ROARED",and his wife re-found the man that she fell in love with again.

Thank you for a very good story !!!!

Couldn't wait to wake up each morning and read the latest installment! You tell a wonderful tale and I appreciate it!

Thanks for sharing!

Larry

Kudos on another fine story from one of the elite wrtiers on this site.

Thanks for a great story.You tied up most of the lose ends.I believe Mark is a lot stronger man than his brother ever was.All of us have flaws.You wrote a very realistic story. Keep writing. Look forward to your future stories.

Dear Sir,

I'd like to congratulate you on another extraordinary story. This story, along with your previous ones (“The Bar and Grill”, “What You Wish For”, “The Damp Grey Gone”), has elevated you into the very top rank of authors here on the site.

I'd like to ask a favor: As you know LITEROTICA runs themed contests from time to time. This weekend the annual HALLOWEEN contest starts and I'm hoping you'll consider entering a story in it. We desperately need the top authors like yourself entering stories in it because I'm afraid these contests have fallen on hard times.

A man of your standing, a member of the 1000+ Vote Club and 100+ Comment Club as well as an A.I.R. Award winner, can only add luster to this now sadly tarnished contest. And with you entering I'm sure many other top authors who've hesitated in the past,might be willing to take the plunge.

Of course the question of your participation is up to you but I believe that LITEROTICANS from around the world would welcome your entry.

Thank you.

Looks like I'm not the only one who set the alarm to finish this story. Others are saying this is the best since "Damp, Grey Gone." I have to disagree. This is ten times better, if only because sandy is far more fleshed out than Whitney ever was (or still is). I'll let HDK handle the critiques, because I can't think of any he hasn't pointed out.

Don't wait so long for the next one, Judge. Now I have to finish Goin' back Home, since I seem to have missed it the first time around.

Cheers!

Wulf

From a father and grandpa it was very touching to read. You are never too old to feel love and it is never too late. There are several possibilities of another story line or two. I look forward to reading them. Don't cheat yourself, get this published.

You are in a league of your own with maybe three or four others on this site. Thank you for a truly wonderful story.

Very much looking forward to your next effort.

Nicely finished. Needed some more proofing ("I can't bear it" & Problems with Lay and Lie), but that didn't detract from the story.

I still have a problem with the Sandy's ever-so-long failure to realize whom she had married, and her cheating on him over suspicion with no corroboration of his cheating. Truly a case of guilt-by-suspicion on her part, which reflects badly on her.

I wonder if that comes from writing a story as an answer to a critical problem, in this case, The Runaway Husband Problem. It reminds me of a geometry proof I submitted on a test in high school long ago -- I couldn't prove the theorem, so I worked forward 'til I was stuck at step 15, and then backwards from the proven theorem to what I called step 16, and then stuck the whole thing together hoping the teacher wouldn't notice. He didn't.

Also, I can't help suspecting that Rebecca is better suited to Mark than Sandy whom we only see as a sad and regretful character -- Rebecca is brighter, certainly, better educated and perhaps has more in common with him.

So, if that one point with Sandy had been better resolved, and motivated, I would have added a 6th star :), now as it is you will have to settle for 5.

So. Who gets Rebecca?

Me. I want her!

Oh well, my wife would object.

I started reading this at 6:11AM and you already have 78 comments by the time I finished it. OK, I read slowly, savoring every word, because I didn't want to misread the concluding chapter. Of course we know that this chapter does not end the story, because hopefully we will revisit some of these characters in a future writing.

I never read the other comments before making mine. Don't want the ole mind polluted with someone else s brilliant thoughts. I loved the ending, that you put Mark and Sandy back together and that she is pregnant and happy. I loved that you made Marks Mom into the monster figure. The sweet lil ole southern gal, with a will of iron and trying to twist everyone around her little finger. My apologies to all you nice southern gals of course.

I am sad for Rebecca of the perfect posterior and the silky olive skin, so please bring her some happiness in another story. Send her to me maybe, ahhh no, my Wife would not appreciate that at all.

Wandering too much here, getting maudlin, so just will say it was a great story and I look forward to the next one.

Five stars for sure.

You could have even left out the sex and this would have still been the best thing I have read in a long time. Please keep writing. Best of luck.

And, that's it.

Excellent!!!!!!

K.

I loved it. I also liked the intros to the preceding chapters. I find it very interesting when an author shares his thoughts. I'm not the most sophisticated of readers so I welcome any insight the author is willing to give. <P>

I have noticed since DQS1 and "When We Were Married", you've picked up your game a notch. Oh, you were always one of the best on Lit. However lately you seem to put more time and effort into your submissions. Regrettably, Q seems to have retired HDK. <P>

TY for taking the time and making the effort to write such a great story. <P>

Jenny

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Great story, thanks so much for sharing it. I would have liked you to add one piece to it though. I wanted Sandy to ask Mark where his ring was, and then for a scene where Sandy gets to put a ring on his finger again. Maybe too mushy or hokey(?) but I was hoping for it. Thanks again for sharing your stories, really awesome.

One of the best ever.Made me cry and laugh can not wait for the next Grant City story

I'd be very surprised if the writer was not a professional writer with several novels to his credit. he seems to have a great ability to write his heroes very well, to develop character and to build the tension. If there is a weakness in this story, it is that the villain of the piece, Mark's mother, is a tangential character. The fact that she was not really dealt with leaves the denouement somewhat unsatisfying.

I have never been disappointed in one of your stories and this is no exception. Great ending, great beginning and an OK middle. Just wish you had let him really nail his mother and Sandy's parents to the wall somehow for more closure. Real life isn't as neat as that though and, to me, this approaches real life very closely. Well done.

He should have left her (not run away) when she didn't come home for the weekend he told her he wanted to spend with her but instead she chose to spend it with her lover. She didn't call him when he was ten minutes late and she ignored his calls. When she was missing, he tried all of his contacts and couldn't find her. He should have told the Governor that his wife was missing, the political guys would have found her ASAP. Once it was clear she wasn't coming back and wasn't in an accident, he should have separated from her and thought about where the marriage was headed.

They would have had their confrontation earlier and he would have learned about the arrangement then. She would have tried to justify her actions. Her affair would have likely been in the news. The media loves a scandal. The reporter asked him in the news conference about the state of his marriage - did he hear rumors?

If Mark left her and she then came clean and proved herself they could have gotten back together. Instead in the story he takes her back after he believes she cheated on him and leaves her for the stupid plan set up by his mother years before.

Please write Rebecca's story. Thanks

Brilliant, awesome, I loved it.

I really hope you revisit this world and add to the story.

Characters had great depth and were well developed and just felt real. Please tell me you're a professional writer and what name you publish under. I want to collect all your books.

Trying to find ways it could be better can't

Even Harry liked this story. Wow. In terms of plot, I feel sorry for Mark's dad - he ended up with the "flaming bitch" and trying to make things right. Well done!

I see so much of myself in Mark. The depth you have created with the characters is superb. Excellent writing, and don't stop.

I started reading LW stories to try and understand why women

cheat. I also wanted to hear other takes for dealing with the fallout at discovery. It basically comes down to accepting the cheating or the wreckage of leaving.

I have enjoyed all of your writing including this piece.

I look for your comments along with HDK and Ohio on other authors and can honestly say you have made me a better reader more able to understand various other opinions and courses of action.

Thanks for the drama along with conflicts and resolutions.

The sandwich offer to Clarice and Schuyler was a cute tie in to Mark's bachelor lifestyle. Keep up the great work.

But, in my opinion, your closing needs a recall of your title, "The Lazy Lemon Sun", from your preface - perhaps an acknowlegement that what has been thrown away has been given back (an unconditional gift Mark can't refuse).

Enjoyed the story. I like the community of characters that come from the other stories. I'm glad I caught this as soon as it was posted. But then if I didn't I would have read all chapters at once. Keep posting your stories and I'll keep checking for new ones. And, occasionally re-reading old ones.

LOVED IT! I agree with all the others that this was a top-notch story, and that your writing is certainly in the top tier at Lit. You can always tell in this genre when a story is fantastic, because it always brings out the comments of the other A-list Loving Wifes authors, like HDK, Ohio, etc. And I got to tell you when Harry likes a story as much as he did this one, it is a red-letter day! I too look forward to more from Justice Rehnquist, and that brings me to my last comment. Someone commenting on chapter 3 yesterday was critical of Mr. R's use of characters from other stories, and story lines, and inter-weaving those folks through multiple stories. I think that is nonsense, and in fact, is one of Mr. R's key strengths. The fact that he can seamlessly interweave characters and plotlines is a skill that takes some polish, and it is also something that, at least for me, makes each story that much stronger. So, please keep making Grant City the home of some of your stories, and please weave away!

Thanks again for this fine work and for sharing your exceptional writing skill with us. I know this takes a great deal of work and time, and I thank you for your efforts. We readers DO appreciate you very much! Jim

I have been waiting each day for a new episode absolutly brilliant

James UK

I can see the case for reconciliation in this story. Yes, she was in on the conspiracy from the get go and yes, she cheated repeatedly.

But, she repented three years earlier and had Mark not heard the parental conversation admitting all, they would have continued happily married.

Her choice to leave her old life and more importantly, her family and move to a small out of the way town to be the wife of, as far as she knew, a bartender, speaks volumes.

And finally, I do believe in forgiveness, when warranted and in second changes when earned.

It doesn't hurt that Rehnquist is one of the best writers on Lit and is able to make his case in a satisfying entertaining way.

I would have like to have either a LONGER final chapter or yet another chapter where the "comeuppance" was applied to his wife's father and Mark's mother. Both are unrepentant for their parts in the conspiracy.