All Comments on 'The Legacy of Eros - Dark Son Ch. 04'

Thanks man real appreciate your work ❤️.five 🌟 as always

Am I missing something...?

It seems like there should have been something between the last chapter and this one...

Just a bit confusing that...

This story continues to be loads of fun. Looking forward to where we go next.

Continuing to enjoy this story, hope it continues.

So why was Reynard fighting Bonny? And when did the fight start? And what happened after High Society showed up to collect the bounty on his and Arachne's heads? It seems to me that there was a whole 'nother chapter that should have been (3.5 maybe) between this and the previous one. Then the descriptions of characters who haven't been introduced yet, so to me, weren't really necessary. I have to say that this chapter only gets 3 stars this time.

... yes, I skipped over a good deal of the fighting between last chapter and this one. I felt it did not detract from the overall scene with Bonny ... and I just might have been wrong. Sorry about that.

Basically, more and more super types began showing up at the brawl the Uptown Crew started with Arachne and Reynard. Story-wise, it became cluttered with this and that super group intervening and the tide of combat going back and forth. What does happen is when Bonny finally arrives, a very pissed Reynard uses his special power on her because he figures this is the moment he can finally figure out who killed his mother ... and the power is simply to much for him to process sanely.

Bonny reacts poorly and Reynard hits her ... and the rest is Chapter four.

Oh, and the power from Bonny was so much he still wasn't able to figure out who murdered his mother ... so it was all for naught. I wanted to show Reynard screwing up badly because he did. He is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I hope that came through in the story as I presented it.

I hope this helps and take care,

James aka FinalStand

Between Chapter 2 & 3 you had stuff that happened and it was like you just jumped into the middle of the next chapter....and between 3 & 4 it is happening again. Perhaps some of your work isn't being uploaded? I enjoy the story so far, but it is too discombobulated to really take off. Thanks for writing though!

Completely lost by this chapter.

I don't want to go so far as to say you ruined the story with this chapter but I am just flabbergasted as to why you thought this was a good idea. Just skipping a big chunk of story? That's just bad writing. This makes no sense and I really hope you will fix it with a chapter 3.5 or something cause this is a great story and it deserves better than this.

People for God sake be mindful of what you say,if you think there is a problem find a better way to point it out.Keep in mind non of us are paying anything for the stories and the writers are not obligated to write or finish any of their stories.or better yet try to imagine yourself in the writer position how will you like someone to point something to you.let what you want to be done to you be exactly what you do to others.

Hey FinalStand, another great chapter in yet another great story from you, i hope all these entitled negative nancies havent gotten to you. As for all of you going on about missing chunks and it ruining the story try using your brains and imaginations. FinalStand gives us all the info as to what has transpired in the "missing chunk" and if you actually read the story and switch on your brainbox its a pretty clear picture. I havent struggled with it and actually enjoy puzzling out what the hell has happened to create such a shitstorm of events for our beloved, i wanna say antihero, Rey xD keep on doing what you do FinalStand, cos what you do is amazing :)

Yes, there did appear to be a gap between chapters 3 & 4 but I'm still fully enjoying the series even though my brain is struggling with the number of chapters involved, despite the character list you provide. I just wonder which way things are going to go for Reynard.

Thanks for your comment answering why there was a gap in the chapters.

5 stars from me.

As always, I'm engaged in the story and can't wait to see what happens next.

Thanks.

Hi James hope all is well with you and yours,are we going to hear from you soon I really hope so

Hey James get tired of this series yet, just like all of the others? Or have you gone into the string them along for a bit stage?

Actually my editor just got me the 5th chapter on Friday (10/23) because he thought he had already sent it to me and I'd been remiss in asking about it for a while. I haven't submitted it yet because I've been wrestling with a bit of depression, but I'll submit it tomorrow - October 26th. This will wrap up the Dark Son story arc and set up the next story arc - A World Without Heroes - which I will hopefully finish putting together once I've written Chapter 49 of Life as a New Hire.

Currently I'm working on a story called 'Last of the Elves' which may never see the light of day as I'm conflicted about the story being worthy of publishing at all ... but such is the way my mind works.

Thank you everyone about your feedback on this story and so many other. Take care,

James aka FinalStand

... Thank you for your concern. I should have Chapter 5 submitted by tomorrow (10/26). I've been wrestling with a bit of depression recently. Then it is on to finishing a few of my unfinished tales ... then it is on to 'A World Without Heroes', which is the next story arc I wish to pursue with this story. Thank you for your patience.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

Between chapter 2-3 was disjointed but made some sense, between chapter 3-4 felt like I missed a couple chapters, I had to go back and forth a few times just to make sure.

The plot in this story is starting to unravel a bit for me, the initial few chapters of him and Skye were good. Great world building, character building and motives for plot progression. The first two chapters of this arc were similar, good progress, then it just started to unravel.

Hard to understand why someone who claims he's in it for himself would accept a task he doesn't want to do, from someone he doesn't know, for a favour he doesn't need.

I get that it's a anti hero to unwilling hero story, but the total no.bardment of new characters makes the old ones irrelevant, Skye has barely been mentioned in the last few chapters, this contest feels like it's been going on for mo the, and it didnt make sense for him to stay before and makes less sense for him to stay now.

I love your writing, I do. New hire is one of my favorite stories on here, but that story had so much build up before it spiralled Into madness, this one just feels like you built a great story then yeeted it into the horizon.

For the sake of authenticity, vomiting is "reverse peristalsis". Peristalsis is an autonomic body function, (autonomic is the medical term for automatic). It is muscular contraction of the esophogus in 'waves', and is responsible for moving food down the esophogus to the stomach. The esophogus is rings of muscle; the wave-like action is created by timing the contractions, one muscle after the other to push the food along.

Reverse peristalsis is, obviously, the opposite. When you drink too much corn likker, drink too much hops water fermented w/ yeast, or eat beans which sat out in the sun too long or eat pork that tastes a bit 'vinegary', and the body decides said drinking or eating just might kill your ass, it goes into 'special duty mode', which reverses the normally staid peristalsis, kicks up intensity a notch, or three, and gets its compatriot, the abdominal muscles in on the action.

Between the reverse peristalgia, and the violent contractions of the abdominals, whatever is in your stomach is coming right up outta your mouth. Sometimes, quite violently, making you look like a 5-6' tall wide open fire hydrant, depending on your height, and if you stand up to your full height. (In some regions, it will make you impersonate a barker at a Buick dealership. In the Bible Belt, the impersonation is referred to, colloquially, as praying to the porcelain Gods.)

I first heard of reverse peristalsis in high school health class; so did my best friend. Even though we were in different classes, at different times of the school year, I discovered his mastery of that subject matter one weekend, when we combined borrowing his mom's 1968 Dodge Belvedere Station Wagon, (with a push button automatic transmission), with business connection with upperclassmen friends.

Said upperclassmen worked at a local rural market widely known for the lowest case beer prices for 30 miles. Due to this reputation, they bought and sold a LOT of cases.

These upperclassmen, all enterprising young men, in the best capitalist tradition, saw an enterpreneurial opportunity in the inadequate inventory tracking and record keeping of the hundreds of cases received and sold per week, and seized the opportunity. All of them, being members in good standing of the Future Business Leaders of America, knew the value of rock bottom pricing, and sold cases of beer for 1.00, to select members of the population, (this was the late '60's, and a case of beer was only 3.99).

Myself, and another friend all had had recently been recipients of a windfall profit, based on buying low, adding value through labor and selling high. We bought bulk at a low price, worked tirelessly to create individual apportions and sold it to people to get high. (Plus, we made about $500.00 cash.)

To celebrate the wonders of capitalism, we met with the entreprenurial upperclassmen, and traded dollars for cases of beer, since they were not of the persuasion to barter products, directly.

I don't remember the dollars spent, or cases received, but I do recall starting out the night sitting alone in the cargo area of the Dodge wagon, buried in full bottles, not being able to see my legs with a group goal to empty all of the bottles. We were very goal oriented teenagers.

Much later in the night, I had moved to the back seat behind the driver, my best friend. At one point, I tapped him on the shoulder, and politely requested he stop the car as quickly as fucking possible.

He did, and I egressed from the vehicle in just enough to avoid a messy cleanup NOT on aisle five, and then did my best impersonation of a 5'1" wide open fire hydrant on a country road.

As the hydrant ran out of 'water', my friend demonstrated he was not the slacking student the health teacher had accused him of being, demonstrating his mastery of his lessons by stating loadly, "Hey, that's reverse peristalsis, we learned about that in health class."

Later in the year, also in health class, we were taught Basic First Aid. We learned drowning victims likely aspirate water into their lungs, (aspirate is a medical term for breathing in a liquid, which, BTW, the body can do, but shouldn't). In order to revive a drowning victim, the first thing which must be done is get the aspirated water out of their lungs.

This is done by manually compressing the lower part of the lungs in a pushing motion, towards the head, while the victim is lying face down, with their head turned, their airway clear and you are kneeling above their legs.

The human body cannot 'vomit' fluid from the lungs. It is physiologically impossible. The body CAN vomit fluids from the stomach, via reverse peristalsis, but lungs have no muscles. They are only sacks of air, dependant upon the muscles in other parts of e body, and something called the diaphragm for filling and emptying.

Hope my short tale helps you gain a bit of human physiology knowledge, said knowledge contributes to increased accuracy in, and improvement of, your writing, and is received as a thank you for the entertaining reading.

It was intended as such, (and maybe as source of a laugh, or two.)

GeoD

Well, GeoD, that was an entertaining and educational to boot. I'll have to struggle to recall that next time I'm reverse peristalgia-ing up copious amounts of anything. As for the liquid in the lungs ... I blame a movie I saw in the 1990's (I think) where some deep sea diving SEALs were shown using this 'special technology' which had them inhaling oxygen in a liquid substance so they wouldn't get the bends, or some other such nonsense. It was a "man meets aliens" flick.

Also, I have re-read Witches of Ravenrook to see if anything clicks. No promises, but I'll give it an effort and hope for the best.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

I think the main reason prompting the negative feedback is because people are simply disappointed that you either abandon stories and or jump into something else? This premise was so good and the story really engaging with a huge scope for expansion but as per usual nothing and what was worse, this particular story obviously missed at least 1-2 complete chapters which just made the whole thing really frustrating for everyone.

Is there a chapter missing? Chapter 3.5? Very confusing...