The List

Forward I wrote this story for fun. So no redeeming social value, any snide comments about people in this story, and I will remove them.

I got this idea from the Show "FRIENDS with one of the guys. He had a list of 10 girls he had a hall pass with if he ever got a chance to go to bed with them. He finally got set up and took Isabella Rossini off his list. She walked in and asked him to go to bed with her. His girlfriend explained his list, and he just removed her name. She kissed him on the cheek and said to bad.

The song that inspired this story was from the seventies. It was about the funeral of a man that everyone thought was a little wimp until all these beautiful women started showing up to his funeral and his wife was shocked.

I chose names randomly, except for the wives. The only name on the list I decided on purpose was Halle Berry. She is on my list. I admitted to my wife one day I was having an affair with her. My wife laughed and patted my head. Won't she be surprised?

Thanks to Saddletramp and an unknown editor that I cannot mention his name, but he would have to kill all the people that read this story

The List

A restless Mary rolled over to see the blue light emanating from the bedside alarm clock lighting the room. Mary sighed at 2:22 a.m., staring her in the face.

Her back was hurting from the soft mattress that her Mom and Dad still had from her teenage years. For some reason, her mother could never bring herself to change the four kid's rooms in the house where she had lived for over 70 years. She kept them that way even after Mary's youngest sibling had moved out over 40 years ago.

Mary rolled over, sat up, and fumbled around the top of the nightstand, looking for her glasses. Then, finally, she placed her robe on to check on her elderly 90-year mother. Her Dad died suddenly a week ago while traveling on business in Washington D.C.

Suddenly is a relative term for a man of 93. But his last physical showed no problems, and the doctor told him he would probably live to 100.

Mary walked across the hall and slowly opened her mother's door to see her mother's bed was empty. Then, shuffling down the hallway toward the kitchen, Mary noticed a light coming from beneath her father's office.

She moved to the door, placing her hand on the handle; she slowly turned to see her mother sitting in her father's torn leather chair as her mother looked through his folders. Then, not wanting to scare her mother into having a heart attack like her Dad's recent one, she slowly closed the door.

Mary started calling her mother's name. She got louder until she was sure her mother would hear and then likely tapped on the door. " Mom, are you in there?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm in here, Honey. Come on in," her mother replied in her gravly broken voice.

Mary asked, "Mom, It's late. What are you doing up?"

"Just going through your Dad's files. You have to hand it to him; he was a meticulous record keeper. I guess that's why he was such a good accountant. He paid attention to the details." she replied.

Mary looked around at the pictures on the walls. They included all the famous people her Dad had met over the years.

There were Presidents, Prime Ministers, and other essential world dignitaries. In addition, there were famous singers and actresses from the 1950s to the present day.

Mary walked over and stood beside her Mom. She looked down, staring at the stacks of file folders in front of her. She notices a thick folder titled, "The top 10 list.

She was placing her hand tenderly on her mother's shoulder. "Mom, What are all these folders for?" asked Mary.

"Ah, that old coot. He had OCD about his folders. I guess it made him a great accountant. Attention to details," replied her Mom.

She asked, Mom, I know Dad worked for An Agency of the Government. Which branch did her work for?"

With a puzzled look, her Mom replied. "Now that you mention it, I don't know. I know he was an accountant and traveled the world for his job. We got the benefit of the airline and hotel points. Huh, I never asked."

We have been receiving retirement checks for years. I just assumed it was from the Federal retirement system. I'll check on it Monday."

Mary was looking through the thickest folder. Then, in a curious voice, What is this? Do all these pages have a list of women's names? Fanning through the pages. There must be 10000 names on these pages.

Her mother chuckled your alright. When we married, he told me about the ten names he could have sex with without getting divorced. I was pissed until I heard the names of some women on it. Top of the list is Liz Taylor, Grace Kelly, and, believe it or not, Mamie Eisenhower. I don't remember the rest; I'd have to look at them.

"Mamie Eisenhower," repeated Mary. "What the heck! He has the list of all the First Ladies up to the present."

"Charlie said if they were going to fuck him with his taxes, her would fuck their wives." Kim laughed

"Mom, he checked off Jackie Kennedy 5 times and Melanie Trump 10 times. The rest just once."

"Look, this is all the Bond Girls. Ursula Andres, Honor Blackman. Who was that?" asked Mary.

"Pussy Galore," she smiled at her Mom.

Mom, there are 75 Bond girls' names here, and Dad check-marked every one of them. I recognize a few Jill St John and Halle Berry.

"That's your Dad, alright. For an accountant, he had a great imagination. And not to mention, always the optimist."

"Mom, did you have a list?"

"Yes, I did at first. Hell, the old perv helped me fill it out."

"Who was on it?"

"I don't know if you remember them. But my favorite was Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglass, William Holden, Robert Mitchem, and Tony Curtis. Of course, I also had Elvis on mine along with the Beetles."

"Was that all, Mom? Where's the rest of them?"

"Oh, don't be so silly; I'd never cheat on Dad. I didn't have time for that nonsense."

"But Mom, look at these under singer Dolly Parton Reba Macintyre, Whitney Houston, Shana Twain, June Carter, Patsy Kline. Dam! Blondie, Momma Cass wanted to screw all the greats. Hell, he even checked off all the Spice girls along with Rihanna, and the last one was Taylor Swift. Every one of these on all these papers names checked off.

"Oh my God, he has all the playmates of the month and the Penthouse girls written down."

"Yes, dear, your Dad was a true accountant. He used the double entry method. First, he put her on the extensive list. Then, as he got tired of her, he moved a woman off the list, and from the main list, he would add another to the list.

Mary went on, "He has a list of Oscar winners here, along with many other famous actresses, including Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda, Raquel Welch, Debbie Reynold, Sophia Loren, and Bridgett Bardot. Shit all the way up to the latest and youngest Stars in Hollywood.

"Here is one of all the dictator's wives. Putin, Xi Xi Ping Mao, Castro's wife, and the list goes on. Hell, he has a list of twenty wives of Ibn Suadi, King of Saudi Arabia. Got to admit he didn't play politics. What a horn dog, Mom."

"Oh, don't be hard on him; he loved me to death, and I absolutely trusted him implicitly. That man would have given his life for me. Do you remember when I turned 65 and underwent my cancer treatment? He stayed at my side for six months, holding my hair as I threw up. Clean me when I shit from all my chemo and radiation. He never left my side for a minute."

"I know he did, Mom. I looked into his eyes every time he talked about you, and they lit up." Then, sobbing, I can't believe he just dropped dead on his last trip for the Government. Why in the hell was he out at his age of 93? Are you kidding me?"

"You know your Dad. He promised this was his last trip to the White House. President personally asked for him."

"Mom when a loving tone. I have a confession to make to you. When I was 18, I came home early from an overnight stay with Vicki. Do you remember Vicki? The head cheerleader of our cheerleading squad.

She had gone to Paris for her 18 birthday over the Christmas holidays. It seems some French artists painted her in the nude and seduced her. So when she got back, her Mom threw her a Birthday party here. Unfortunately, she got sick during the party and was throwing up, and I found out later she was pregnant."

"Chucking, I remember her mother. She was a snob. What about it?"

"I came home late that night from her party because of her illness. As I walked past your bedroom door, I saw you mounted on Dad doing cowgirl."

"Her mother's eyes got big, and she smiled. Well, ask it."

Coyly, Mary asked, "How big was it?"

"14 inches long and two inches in diameter."

Mary stumbled back into the couch and sat down. "Mom, he was only 5-6 and weighed 141 soaking wet."

Her mother laughed, "Well, he had five pounds of cock."

"How in the hell did you take it?"

"Well, I didn't always. It took years of practice. There were certain positions we couldn't do. He had to put a donut hole on it so he wouldn't break my cervix. He could do things that men with shorter dicks couldn't do because of the length. But sometimes, I longed for a man with an average size dick. So I could get pounded without worrying about any damage to myself."

"Mom, something else I never told you. I refused to let a boy touch me because I was scared to death of them. I thought about becoming a lesbian. But I just couldn't do it.

"So when I finally met Paul, I thought he was the one. I made sure I got him good and aroused. And from what I could tell from outside of his pants, he was about half the size of Dad. I didn't want to take a chance of another girl getting him. Just in case he was a one-off. I thought most men had cocks like Dad's. So I made sure he knew I wanted to be exclusive.

"You have to remember back then, Mom. Most of us girls never saw a dick until we were married."

She snickered, "You know I love Paul like son. But I did fantasize about him pounding me with what I would say is an average dick."

"Ma'um," in a shocked tone. "How did you know his size?"

Smiling, "Mary, when we first met him, he was nothing but a walking hardon. Your Dad and I used to chuckle at him trying to hide it."

"And you know what the funniest part was? You were doing it to him on purpose. The boy didn't have a prayer, did he?

"No, Mom, he didn't. And he still doesn't at 68. Oh, by the way, he'll be here tomorrow with the rest of the kids and grandkids for the funeral. They are staying out at the Holiday Inn on Maple.

And that's where everyone else is staying because we didn't want to burden you with having to handle 70 people in your house. So to help take the load off you, Mom. We've arranged for a banquet room at the Holliday Inn after the funeral.

We will have the ceremony at the funeral home. Then we will move the body to the top of the hill to the mausoleum where Dad will be interned.

"Now, why don't you lay down? It's going to e a long emotional day tomorrow."

....

Kim was wearing her black dress, facing her husband's open casket, thinking about her loving husband and their many happy memories. The four wonderful children they raised and the many Grand and Great Grandchildren they loved.

A loud murmur spread over the room as two large men walked in wearing sunglasses and stood by the door. In walked the five ladies dressed in black with veils and one in a wheelchair. They slowly approached the casket. They all bent over and kissed her deceased husband on the lips. Then they helped the older woman to her feet so she could do the same.

One of the men in sunglasses walked up to Kim and asked, Could you please follow me? "Mary stood up to go with her mother. The man stopped her; please, Ma'am, just your mother. Nothing will happen to her; I'll make sure of it."

Kim took the man's arm, and he escorted her to the side room. There waiting on her were six women. Five former First Ladies, Melania, Michelle, Hillary, Laura, and Rosalyn. The last kept her face completely covered

The mysterious one walked up first, "Kim, I want to say how sorry I am about Charlie. He was a national treasure. When I read the book, I wanted to meet him in person as soon as possible.

I was worried about never meeting him because of his age. So I arranged for him to fly up last week while the President was quarantined.

I swapped the test results for the President's Covid test, so he had to stay at the other end of the White so I could get your husband into my room for our session.

"What book are you talking about?" Kim asked with a puzzled look.

Hillary spoke up, "Honey, you know."

"No, I don't know," Kim snarled back.

"You know the President isn't the only one with a book of secrets. We have a First Lady book of secrets. I started with Martha, and I was the last to read it. You wouldn't believe what went on in those hollow walls between rooms.

"Hell, Mary Todd was the worse. Let's just say she kept the Army of the Potomac happy. If not, there could have been mass desertions.

The lady chuckled. "He was with me that night he died. He pounded me for three hours with that magnificent beast between his legs. I came so many times I passed out. When I awoke the following day, I thought he was asleep, so I started sucking his dick.

"But nothing happened. I looked up at his face. Charles had a big smile on his face. He had passed away. I'm still draining his come a week later. Just to let you know, He loved you very much. We all talked amongst ourselves, and he always said, "Kim, I love you," as he came.

"Laura spoke up. Look at our husbands. Can you blame us? They think they are Alpha males. Nope, we had to carry them all these years. They have big egos and little dicks. I hope I can speak for the other ladies. Thank you for allowing us to be on his list."

With that, they left through the back door, and one of the men escorted them back to the view area. Kim looked around to see the room packed with hundreds of women dressed in black and wearing veils. Women were back out the door, waiting to get in for the view.

For the next two hours, the woman would go over and kiss her husband on his lips and then sob. Then, they would stop by and thank you for allowing them to be on his list.

After 4 hours, the room was empty, and the Funeral director came over and started to close the lid. But something was blocking the top from closing. He looked at the man's waste. He quickly turned and turned gray as if he had seen a ghost.

He walked over to Kim. Then, stuttering in fear, "Mrs. Richards, I don't understand it; he's embalmed. There's no blood to make him get hard.

Kim got up to see her husband's face. She swore she saw a little smile on his face. She saw the layers of different lipstick on his lips. And he reeked of perfume. His favorite. "Jungle Gardena."

"Mrs. Richards, his casket won't shut. It's as though rigor mortis sat in. It won't bend at all."

Kim snorted. "Mr. Embalmer completely cut off his dick and shove it fully up his ass. And don't you dare use any lubricant."

"Mrs. Richards, I can't do that."

Snarling louder, "I'll pay you to double."

"Done," smiled the man.

Thirty minutes later, her husband's body was rolled out, with the bottom half of the lid closed. She walked up and looked at him again. This time she couldn't see the slight grin.

Then she saw a small glitter streaming down the side of his face. It was a single tear.

"Smiling, Kim leaned over and sneered. Then, with her teeth clenched, she spoke. "See you son-of- bitch, I told you it hurt."

"Mr. Richards, for being a male whore for the Government and cheating on me, this is the only way I can get even with you...

"I know how much it hurt when you fucked my ass; now, you will know the same pain for all eternity in hell.

"And you won't have a dick anymore. So take that, you bastard."

.....

Kim didn't go to the service with her kids. Instead, she headed to the Holiday Inn; she arranged for an open bar and a band at the last minute for a party. Even though Kim was ninety, she still enjoyed dancing.

She picked out a widower that looked healthy. It was 75 years old man named Mike Thomas. During her dance, she reached down, and in front of her family, she started rubbing his dick. He got partially hard.

"Mike, you have been trying to get in my pants since you turned 18. " She whispered, "How long is it?

He turned red with embarrassment. I am sorry it is only 5 inches long anymore.

She smiled. "It's perfect." Take me home and give me one more good, hard fucking." Mike frowned.

Kim looked at him. "Mike, do you not want to fuck me?"

"No, Kim, I do," Mike replied. "But I was hoping for more than once."

Kim giggled. "Damn, I just love an optimist."

Mike explained, "I'm sorry, I don't have my little blue pills with me, and it will take me a few hours for them to take effect.

Kim smiled and replied, "I got plenty of my deceased husband's pills, and I'm in no hurry. Two hours of foreplay and sucking your dick will get you there. Hell, I'll even take out my teeth."

Mike looked up to the heavens and mouthed, "Thank you, God."

Kim yelled, "Mary, don't come home tonight, as she walked out the door with Mike.

Epilogue

Charlie walked through the white mist. He felt like a new man and hadn't felt this good since he was a teenager.

"Mr. Charles Richards? the soothing voice yelled his name.

Charlie followed the voice to find himself standing in front of tall pearly gates. Out of the fog came an elderly man.

"Mr. Richards, I presume?" the elderly man asked.

"Yes, it is. I'm Richards."

The old white-haired bearded man smiled, "Well, don't just stand there. Come on. We've been waiting for you.

As Charlie entered the gate, beautiful naked women started materializing around him. Short, tall, blonds, red heads, and brunettes, All creeds and nationalities.

Charlies smiled, "Looked up, and said, "Thank you, God." Then turning to the old man, "Can I fuck them."

The old man smiled and answered, "Yep, you will have a constant hardon for all eternity. And they will see to it you never got soft again.

Charlie smiled, "Peter, Heaven is better than I could ever imagine. When can I start?

The man gave a devilish smile as his face darkened. "Now!"

Ugh, the pain shot through Charlie's Ass. Falling on the floor, he asked, "What's happening? My ass feels like it's ripping apart."

The White disappeared and gave way to flames and the smell of brimstone. The heat was becoming unbearable. Charlie screaming, Heaven is not supposed this way. Peter, what's happening?" Ahgggggggg."

He turned to see the older man grow tens of times in size as he morphed into Mephistopheles. Red with massive horns. He replied, "Who said you were in Heaven," as he laughed.

"But. But," Charlie cried.

"But. But what? You can thank your wife for this; she hopes you would feel your dick in your ass for all eternity. What a curse."

Charlie looked down and saw his dick gone. "Ahh, they cut off my beautiful dick." Then Charlie looked over to see the women turning into trolls."

The Devil grabbed them; take a look at them. They're designed to keep you constantly aroused. They will stroke and lick you to new heights. That is so you never get soft, but will you never come? You will never have relief.

Oh, by the way, Mike Thomas is fucking your wife right now.

Authors notes.

I got this idea from the Show "FRIENDS with one of the guys. He had a list of 10 girls he had a hall pass with if he ever got a chance to go to bed with them. He finally got set up and took Isabella Rossini off his list. She walked in and asked him to go to bed with her. His girlfriend explained his list, and he just removed her name. She kissed him on the cheek and said to bad.