The List Pt. 01

I waited for as long as I thought proper (and as long as I could) then I turned out all the lights and made the climb upstairs. They were on the bed talking. I knew at a glance which nightie Judy had given her, the simple white shift that hid everything while exposing everything to the imagination — I wondered if Judy felt the same way about it as I did.

I brushed quickly (and thoroughly) and when I got to the room I was faced with the dilemma of what to wear to bed. I never wore anything since The Big Change but I used to wear pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt. I opted for the bottoms which were in the bottom drawer but passed on the t-shirt, I had a pretty good upper body, I work out three or four days a week at noon.

Not at all confident about what I should be dong, I sat on the bed just as they lay back and Judy slid her hand under Tanya's neck inspiring Tanya to turn and cuddle into her.

"Do you know what the worst part of it is?" Tanya said to Judy, apropos of their conversation I assumed. "It's the secrets, the hiding, the lies. We once told each other everything ... everything except anything to do with sex. We were open books to each other and then it started to change. He was evasive, I was evasive; he hid from me, I hid from him; he lied to me, I lied to him. I didn't trust him, he didn't trust me. I have no one to talk to any more — I'm having this fabulous night tonight and I can't tell him, I can't tell anyone. That's the worst part. I've become absolutely alone."

Judy pulled her closer and kissed her, I thought on the lips. "No you're not. Look around, you're the meat in the sandwich."

When Judy's hand slipped down her back Tanya half climbed on her. I lowered the sheet hoping to see a flash of Tanya's panties; I got flesh instead: her nightie had pulled up exposing her cute and firm left cheek as she straddled Judy's thigh.

Emboldened by Judy's meat in the sandwich line I turned on my side and moved in, not pressing hard into her but lightly, letting her know I was there. She responded immediately, pressing back against me, sliding off Judy's thigh down to wedge tight between us — as she slipped down her ass pushed my erection flat against me.

Judy had never even hinted she was considering this kind of thing but over the last three weeks she had hinted at a new permissiveness that seemed to entirely deny her traditional reserve. The new Jude was a willing Jude.

So what do I do? What did I have permission to do? What would they let me do? What did I want to do?

Tanya's face seemed like it was pressed into Judy's neck; Judy had her arm around her, her fingers stroking her arm just inches from my face. It seemed like they were resting, maybe taking a minute to ask themselves the same questions I was asking — this was very new to all of us.

I bent down and lightly bit Judy's finger; when she raised it playfully I sucked on it.

I guess Tanya could feel the movement because she looked back, grinned when she saw Jude's finger in my mouth then took my hand from her hip and guided my fingers to her mouth. I don't know how to describe it but sticking two fingers into the mouth of a near stranger is almost as erotic as sticking my cock in her, it felt that intimately invasive, that shocking. I waited for a hint of a protest from either of them, nothing, far from it, Judy leaned in and she was soon as much kissing my fingers as Tanya's wet mouth.

Implied consent, all three bodies oozed it so I took my cock out of my pyjamas and pressed my erection against Tanya's cheek ... immediately she climbed on Judy's leg, opening herself up and with my fingers digging into her mouth, soaking with her saliva, I nudged it cautiously towards her opening but didn't dare go in; it would have been very easy for me to misplay this hand; I felt like the odd man out, the one person in the bed who could make a wrong move, so I hinted and waited and in a moment I could feel her pushing back against my erection, slowly at first but then we lined up properly she pushed back hard and when I slid into her she let out a long unmistakable sigh, unmistakable to me and to Judy, too who reacted immediately: she pushed me, obviously objecting but when I pulled out she turned Tanya awkwardly onto her back, pulled up the nightie high, slid her hand up to Tanya's right breast as she bought her mouth down onto her's and the demand became clear to both of us and Tanya opened her legs invitingly. I went in.

I am not a libertine; this was all wrong. But I do have a sense of humour ... and it was working hard not to erupt in laughter both at the joy of this aberrant union and the idiocy of it. Tanya was laid out on the bed almost like a mannikin. As I moved timidly, she lay there inertly, as equally docile to my probing as she was to Judy's who was ravaging Tanya's mouth with her own and Tanya's left breast now with her squeezing fingers ... it felt like Tanya was being assaultingly doubled-teamed by a sex starved couple who preyed on the unsuspecting.

So as erotic as it was I wasn't exactly getting off on this — it would come soon enough but it would have come a lot faster if Tanya's consent had been more than implied ... if any urges she might have felt had manifested themselves in some forms of physically obvious yearnings. But no. I imagined her husband having similar thoughts: she appeared to have all the tools, it's just that she didn't seem like she knew how to use them, or wanted to.

I once had the same thoughts of Judy but no longer and not now. She was sitting up, pushing at my shoulder. "Don't come in her," she said, encouraging me to back away ... again, this time so she could walk her fingers down Tanya's belly and inch cautiously between her legs.

I almost laughed again, this time at Tanya's reaction. Clearly, she was shocked but she was trying not to be and trying to figure out what she was supposed to do. Judy, I thought was making that abundantly clear, she was lying beside her, about as close as she could get, all Tanya had to do was turn a little and kiss her with permission, but she wasn't turning, she was caught in indecision and when her eyes met mine there was a touch of pleading in them as if she wanted to be rescued.

What do you do? Judy was effectively blocking me off from all lower options. I thought of climbing up and offering her my cock to suck but given her passivity that seemed like an unwelcomed none-starter. So I opted for a question. "Do you want us to stop?" It sure looked like she did. Judy's head sprang up; she was looking for her answer.

"I thought you guys were going to have sex, that's why you wanted me here, something like that."

Judy sat up now, clearly embarrassed. "Sorry, Tan, I thought we were going to ... let ourselves go ... that was the point."

"I've never done anything like this."

"Well, neither have we." She was sounding a little pissed off ... for about the 15th time I stifled a laugh. "Why did you come to bed with us? What were you expecting?"

"That you would have sex."

"That you would watch? Is that what you want?"

"It was never good with us. I wanted to see and feel what if could be like."

Judy leaned in and kissed her on the lips. "And I wanted to see and feel what this could be like and Mike wanted to see and feel what it would be like to have sex with another woman in our bed ... we all wanted to see and feel something Tanya, that's what this is about. So, what do you want? Tell us."

"I want to watch you have sex, like I'm not here."

"Why?"

"I don't know why, I just do."

"Will you masturbate for us if we do?"

"Masturbate?" She said the word as if she didn't know what it meant.

"Do do masturbate?"

This was really hard for her, that was obvious. "I have."

"But you don't ... like, you don't weekly."

"No."

"You don't like sex, do you."

"No."

"Never have?"

She grimaced like she was grimacing at a memory. "Not since I've had it."

"We'll have sex for you for sure, we love it. But we want to have some sex with you first, OK? Let us ... it's new to us, we want to know what it's like ... the three of us."

She wasn't exactly up for it that was obvious but she was hesitant, too, leaving some doubt. And Judy saw it; she sat up and moved in, sitting close to her, leaning down, kissing her forehead. "We'll be gentle."

Tanya's misery and confusion was wrenching; I could almost see her mind racing as we waited for her consent; it was like she was about to make a life or death decision. Her voice was childlike when she spoke. "Don't be gentle ... I don't want that."

She said this like it was opening a deep dark secret.

"What is it, Tan?" She had pulled her into her and was now holding her like she was an injured child.

"Just take me ... don't ask me, just take me."

God, this was awful, I could feel her misery; I wanted out of there; I had just decided to leave when Judy said with a voice that was just not her's, it was way too forceful. "Fuck her, Mike. Fuck her."

Tanya's face was pressed into Judy's naked chest; Judy was holding her tight, looking up at me almost angrily.

I hesitated too long. "Do it ... now," she demanded, "then we'll show Tan how it's done."

My prick had gone limp; when I held it in my hand Judy noticed. "She wants it Mike, she's never really had it; she's never really been fucked. She's safe here, she knows it. Give it to her."

I willed myself onto my knees and scurried between her legs. Under different circumstances this would have been a wonderfully erotic sight — I like pubic hair, I think it's fabulously exciting, especially when it runs amuck as her's was, not as much as Judy's but she had a lot and her pink labia were poking through, or the left one was.

I wouldn't have been able to do it, I would never have been able to get hard if I thought any coercion was going on here. There wasn't, there was encouragement that I knew she needed, but Judy was right, this is a safe place but even so this was only going to happen if I was totally morally right with it and I thought I was, I wasn't absolutely sure but I thought I was, that's why after a little stroking and a little looking and a little imagining I leaned forward and placed my three-quarters erection at her opening, looking at Judy for confirmation. "She wants it Mike."

But it wasn't enough, I had to hear it from her and maybe she figured it out because as I waited there with my prick just edging into her she pulled her face away from Judy's breasts and looked at me ... well, not at me, at my prick poking in her hair. Her face didn't change, the tension didn't change but she did press down a little on me which was all the encouragement I needed. I pressed hard into her and did as directed, I fucked, with determination. But Judy wasn't satisfied, "Harder Mike, she wants it rough."

I'm not a porn star, I didn't know what 'rough' was and neither did Judy, we never had it rough, not even as rough as I was doing it now but I stepped it up a notch anyway and that's when she looked up at me, that's when she stared to fuck back, just a little at first but when Judy's hand went on her breast, squeezing so hard the fat oozed, we approximated a real, willing sex act and I doubled down, wrapping my arms under her thighs and rolling her up while thrusting hard, something I've never done before. Her eyes almost instantly grew large, "Oh, fuck ..."

"Are you cumming?" Judy seemed as excited as Tanya was.

"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck ..."

"Harder Mike, really fuck her."

Mercifully, I did't have to. She reached up, grabbed my arms pulled herself up so it seemed her orgasm had a clearer path from her groin to her brain and I watched her have her first orgasm, she left no doubt about it: the surprise on her face, the intensity, the pleasure, then the joy, they fought for dominance until she fell back and the pleasure of it all coalesced into understanding.

I don't know why but I pulled out of her and stroked my cum onto her belly but she wasn't noticing, she was looking up at Judy laughing, I mean real laughter and Judy was laughing with her, my role in this? Forgotten. I took my half flaccid prick and wiped the cum off it in her hairy groin.

I made to get off, pleased with myself for a job well done ... and thought I would be stopped. But I wasn't.

"Do you want some more?"

She looked confused.

Judy grinned. All her uncertainty was gone. "I want to try this."

"What?" Tanya asked ... before I did.

She was surprised more than uncomfortable when Judy stretched out and pressed her lips to Tanya's breast. Clearly she didn't know what to make of it and then Judy was heading south with a trail of kisses and her destination just dawned on Tan. I got out of the way and watched Judy turn around, watched her press her lips into Tanya's belly, watched her push downwards, browning a little when she started nuzzling her face between Tanya's trim white thighs leaving me no doubt about where I was supposed to be.

The fear in Tanya's eyes had flickered twice and was gone, probably the very moment the pleasure started to arrive. I thought I could relate. Ever since Judy and I started to connect I imagined what it might be like to suck a cock ... it's not that I actually had any desire to but when you let your imagination go that floats in. I thought my reaction would be very much like Tanya's: the visceral aversion would be trumped the moment the sensation arrived. Her fears were all gone now, she was embracing the pleasure.

And so was I. Judy and I aren't comfortable enough about sex yet to talk about it. If we were I would tell her that one of life's great sights to me is seeing her from behind, seeing her bending over with her lithe thighs apart, seeing her hairy pudenda gaping open as if waiting for me; it's a secret sight for me; she, of course, has never seen it, doesn't know what excitement it inspires in me; she has no idea that when I press my prick into her I am entering a secret portal that even she doesn't know exists; it's private; it's only my way in and the moment I enter I know I'm only seconds away from arriving.

This had been a symphony of letting go, we had all let go, it wasn't just me, we had all abandoned our inhibitions, we all just went for it ... for the pleasure, yes, that was the obvious objective, but as much, we were in it for the experience.

That's what we talked about after, the experience, how different it made us feel. We laughed about it a lot, really laughed as we had a few drinks until, ultimately, we lay down in clean sheets. I slept soundly, my consciences, soothed by a little booze, untroubled.

And we didn't grow a conscience overnight. When I woke up, Tanya's eyes were looking at me a pillow away, Judy's side of the bed was empty. "Wow," she grinned, "I was just replaying last night."

"Quite an experience," I agreed.

"Do you think it's possible for two adults to sleep together for three years and not get an orgasm — he never got one either, I'm sure about that."

I thought back to my 1.0 life with Jude; I got a few orgasms but they were pretty pathetic. "Never too late," I said, stupidly.

She wasn't listening. "I was awake half the night wondering if Gerry is gay, then wondering if maybe I am, I really liked that last night ... what Judy did. Does that make me gay?"

"Then Judy would be and I don't think she is, maybe a little bit, who among us is a 100% of anything."

She still wasn't listening. "I feel like I've come alive and all night I kept thinking what if Gerry had been here? Would he be feeling the same way? It's what was missing in our life together."

Judy called up: Tanya had to hurry, she had to be at work.

I didn't, I didn't have to leave for another hour and a half so after I watched Tanya get dressed I turned over meaning to get some more sleep but there were too many memories floating through my head, and too many tastes and smells and touches to be relived. And questions.

The very last place I wanted to go this weekend was to visit Brighton and her family, but I didn't have a choice, it was the twin's 5th birthday — natch, they would have to be born on the 4th of July, a real twist of the knife to Judy; it was unthinkable (to Brighton) that we wouldn't be there for the festivities. We had debated whether to go Friday night or Saturday morning and eventually opted for Friday night so we could head home early-ish Sunday morning with our duty done.

If I was averse to the visit, Judy was ambivalent. On the one hand she was excited to see the kids, she was perfectly genuine about that. It was their mother who was the downer: Judy and her sister had never gotten along; they bickered more than they argued but the vibe was always bad; it wasn't competitive, just antagonistic for no overt reason — like they were both holding a grudge. Actually, it seemed more innate than anything, as if they had been programmed from birth to conflict.

It was a 2 hour drive to their place but because we left a little late we didn't get there until just before 9 o'clock. Judy and I had talked on the phone three times during the day before we left. The first time as soon as I got to work; she phoned to ask how I was feeling about last night. I tried to read her voice for a clue — she seemed excited; it was OK for me to tell her the truth. "I loved it, Jude, I loved everything about it, you particularly."

"No guilt?"

"A twinge but it was fleeting. You?"

"She loved it. She thought we were the coolest dudes on the planet, that's what she said, and she said she can't wait to get into another relationship because she's going to do the list thing, the guy is going to have to want to do the list."

Tanya seemed tailor-made for the list. "We've got a few things to write in, and tick off. Pretty exciting."

Then she phoned me a couple of hours later just to tell me she loved me; then I phoned her just before I left work to tell her I had been thinking about her all day and how much she amazes me.

I should have known what the weekend was going to be like when she dressed for the trip. She had the new Look, in spades — tight t-shirt, lots of bra and strap and ultra tight jeans; she just grinned when I laughed at her. And I knew why she was dressed that way. Brighton had put on a few pounds since the kids, The Look was to remind her how they once had the same bodies ... her twist of the knife.

We took a B road for the last half hour of the trip. We had verbally replayed a lot of the scenes from last night and we both needed to relieve ourselves before we got there. As I drove I jacked and she Jilled for awhile then I pulled off and we went at it, watching each other. It put me in a great mood to see a couple who often left me cold, to kick back, drink some beer and watch the girls' slow burning fireworks.

One of the things about having a little orgy is that once it's over you feel a little more sophisticated, well, a lot more sophisticated, as if you'd just joined an exclusive club. We both were feeling that, we talked about it on the drive — it had been so liberal, so libertine and so liberating, so out there and yet so natural, so expressive, so creative. Judy actually thought we had become different people from the experience; I had a hard time disagreeing.

It sure as hell changed her. She was exuding sex now where she never had before. Brighton couldn't help but notice and we couldn't help but see how it was bothering her, as much as the clothes were bothering her and our cheerful talk about selling the house was bothering her — moving downtown into the heart of the action ... full bohemian. All of it was driving Brighton nuts.

And the thrill of last night was driving Judy to pile it on.

I was half cut when we went to bed, but I was about to get a little more loaded — when Judy came in she brought a six pack of beer with her. I was sitting on the bed when she gave me one, then she pushed me down and straddled me. She was grinning when she brushed the expensive red panties on my face. "I've got to give them back, she's the type who would notice they're gone."