The Lonely Girl

Kyle put his backpack on the floor and turned to her, "Hi Claire."

She looked up at Kyle with a start...what was Kyle doing sitting here? While seats weren't assigned, he had never sat over here. He was always on the other side of the room with the popular kids.

"Hi Kyle, what are you doing here?"

"I've been in this class with you since the beginning of the year."

Claire was becoming more confused by the moment.

"I know...I meant...I mean...what are you doing sitting there?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were you saving this seat for someone else?"

Claire was trying to hide her panic at this point. She didn't understand. Why was he sitting here? Why was he talking to her? Who would she save the seat for?"

"No...no, I'm not saving it for anyway."

"Good, so is it ok if I sit here?"

"Of course."

Mr. Inwright entered the classroom and called for their attention. They both turned to face forward as class began. Kyle noticed it when they spoke in the hallway, and this conversation confirmed it, Claire was pretty. It was almost like she was trying to hide it behind her large glasses and a mane of hair that she kept covering her face most of the time. She wasn't pretty in the swimsuit model or pinup sense, but her button nose, cute cheeks, expressive eyes appealed to Kyle.

That's what it was...her eyes. The few times in the past when he saw her eyes they were almost like dolls eyes. Devoid of any emotion. It was the same look when Sam was picking on her...but now, he could almost feel the emotion in those eyes. It was a strange revelation that had Kyle off-balance for the rest of the class.

When the bell rang to signal the end of class, it was Kyle's turn to just stare as she walked away.

*****

Claire stared at her reflection above the sink as she brushed her teeth.

She still hadn't come to terms with how she felt about Kyle protecting her. Now he was sitting next to her in class and talking to her. Trying to figure out her feelings about it were almost more than she could handle. So much that she had trouble concentrating in her last class that day.

Claire had read enough books at eighteen years old to fill a normal person's lifetime. In some of the stories she had read, people would talk about having butterflies in their stomach when they like someone. Was that what she was feeling? Did she like Kyle?

While she tried to stay as much to herself as possible at school, she still had to occasionally talk to other boys during labs and such. They never gave her this feeling. Did she just feel this way because he came to her defense?

One thing Claire was certain of; it was going to take her a long time to fall asleep tonight.

*****

During lunch the next day, Kaitlyn was sitting with a group of cheerleaders and football players. They were talking about the approaching party at Craig's when she mentioned, "I invited Kyle Scott to go, but he says he's grounded because of the fight."

One of her fellow cheerleaders, Jen Campbell piped in, "Oh, he was sitting next to Claire Kelly today in calculus today...I assume to see if she was alright after the fight."

"He was sitting next to period-stain?"

Jen rolled her eyes. While she got along well enough with Kaitlyn, could barely tolerate her meanness to anyone she saw as "beneath" her. She went back to eating her salad in hopes that would end the line of discussion. Her hopes were dashed however when Kaitlyn continued, "Do you mean he normally doesn't sit next to her?"

Jen was conflicted, on one hand she hated lying on the other, she didn't like where this may lead. She hedged her bets and went for a middle ground, "Well there isn't assigned seating in Mr. Inwright's class, so we sit wherever we want."

Kaitlyn wasn't buying it, "Has he ever sat next to her before?"

Jen wanted to lie, but just couldn't bring herself, "Well, no. He normally sits with us." She wished she could have the last few minutes back and start again. She could practically see the gears turning in Kaitlyn's mind. The ugly look on her face meant that whatever thoughts were going on, couldn't be good.

*****

Claire sat down in calculus that afternoon in nervous anticipation. She had never in her life had feelings like this before. It was a whole new range of emotions for her to explore.

She was trying to keep them in check though. Who knew if Kyle would even sit next to her again. Maybe it was a one-time thing. Just checking to make sure she was still ok after the incident. In the middle of trying to talk herself into and out of being excited Kyle walked into the classroom. He went right over to the seat next to Claire's as she looked up at him.

"Is this seat taken?" He asked.

She smiled at him and shook her head. "No, it isn't."

Kyle smirked back at her, "So do you mind if I sit here?"

"Please do."

Kyle sat facing her and they looked at each other for a moment that felt longer. Mr. Inwright entered the class and asked for their attention. They both turned towards the front of class with smiles on their faces.

*****

"Momma, I think I like someone." Claire sat once again in the breakfast nook while her mother was prepping dinner.

Her mother took a breath to calm her nerves, lest she cut herself, and tried to hide the fear that suddenly gripped her. Not because she was afraid of her daughter liking someone, quite the opposite; she had worried that Claire would follow down her path and be too scared to ever talk to a boy. No, she was frightened because this was a subject she had no experience in. What kind of advice could she give her? It made her feel like a failure as a mother.

She pushed the thoughts down. She was being selfish. She would just give the most honest advice she could and that should be good enough.

"Is it Kyle?"

"Yes. He keeps sitting next to me in class and talking to me. He never used to sit next to me."

"So you think he likes you too because he's been sitting next to you?"

A bit fear gripped Claire...was she misreading the situation with Kyle? "You don't think it means anything Momma?" There was a little desperation in her voice.

Her mother wanted to slap herself for her question. She was already failing at this conversation. "No sweetie, that's not what I meant." She paused and looked past her daughter for a moment while she gathered her thoughts. "What I meant was, someone can sit next to you in a completely innocent way. Like if someone were to get on a train and sit next to a stranger because the seat was open. But they can also sit next to someone because they are interested in them."

"Oh." Claire pondered this for a moment, "Well, he always used to sit with a group of his friends, but the last few days he's been sitting next to me and talking to me."

"What do you talk about?"

"Well, at first he just checked to see if I was ok after he was in that fight. Now we just talk about class or stupid stuff."

Claire's mother wondered if "stupid stuff" was code for something. "What kind of stupid stuff?"

"Oh like just the book I'm reading and some of our other classes, stuff like that."

Whew, bullet dodged her mother thought.

"Well, I think maybe he is checking to see that you are truly ok after what happened, or he could be trying to get to know you better."

Claire pondered the response for a moment. She judged it to be a practical response, which is what she expected from her mother. Either scenario was possible and were the two most likely, but Claire knew which one she wanted to be the correct one.

"Thanks Momma!" She walked over and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and a soft squeeze.

*****

Most of the girls sat around the fire pit. The boys were playing beer pong at a table they had set up in the yard. Craig didn't want spilled beer all over his parent's floors.

The girls chatted amicably. The discussions mostly centered around the imminent graduation and their plans after it. It was at this point that Kaitlyn interrupted the conversation as if she just had a revelation.

"OH!! Guess who is trying to slut it up with Kyle Scott!"

Her slightly slurred speech was noticed by a few of the girls. If they thought it odd given how early in the evening it was, none of them voiced it.

The conversation stopped and all the girls turned their attention towards Kaitlyn. Those that weren't currently dating had all commented at one time or another about his attractiveness. They wondered if one of them had finally convinced him to go out.

There was a pause as they waited for Kaitlyn to continue. After another moment, as Kaitlyn sat with a look on her face somewhere between a grin and a scowl, Michelle finally spoke up, "Who?"

"Period-stain Kelly!"

A couple of the girls grimaced. Her nicknames for people she had disdain for, which were numerous, were generally horrible occasionally drifting in to disgusting.

Michelle had long ago grown used to Kaitlyn's crass behavior and decided to ignore the nickname, instead asking, "How do you know she's trying to get with Kyle?"

"Jen saw her trying to chat him up."

"That's not what I said! I just...I said he sat next to her in class and they were talking." Finding a little bravery, she added, "...and why do you have such a problem with her anyway? What did she ever do to you?"

"Why are you trying to protect that fucking loser!?" Kaitlyn spat back. The volume momentarily catching the attention of a few of the guys as Kaitlyn continued, "If you don't like our company, you can always leave and go hang out with her! Maybe you can teach her how to change a tampon."

Jen just lowered her eyes and sipped her drink. It was pointless to try and argue with her. She knew how these discussions played out. You either agreed with Kaitlyn, or you became the object of her venom. Especially when she was drinking.

Lexi and Kristin snickered at Kaitlyn's comment. While not as bad as Kaitlyn in the depth of their meanness, they were still catty and more often than not, would side with Kaitlyn in any dispute.

Jen got up to refill her drink and see how the beer pong games were going.

*****

Claire sat in her spot pondering the last week. No one had bothered her in the past week. No snide remarks or mean comments. This was the longest time she could remember without suffering any abuse. She knew it had to be because of Kyle. Not because he warned people away from Claire. Simply because people knew what Kyle had done for her and he was respected in the school. She could see how the people around reacted to him. Claire had become very attuned to the subtle tells people would exhibit. It helped her when she was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. She could see the respect people had for him. Some seemed to have a little fear, which was understandable considering the fight, but it wasn't deserved. Kyle was gentle with people in words and mannerisms and thus set people at ease. Claire enjoyed seeing these interactions...from a distance of course. She had built up her defenses over years and a few weeks of pleasant interactions with Kyle were not enough to tear those walls down...at least not right way. But what if Kyle liked her? It was a thought that was inconceivable to Claire only a few weeks ago.

While Claire was not worldly, she was also not foolish. She knew she had no experience in romantic relationships. Where to even begin? How about beginning with what she wanted? She wasn't sure. How about someone to spend time with? She spent time with her parents from time to time, but she understood that it was different when people were romantically involved.

Claire resolved that having someone to spend time with would be enough. She did not want to set high expectations. What she did want however, was the feelings she had throughout the week to continue. This was the best she felt in as long as she could remember. It was much later, after she had time to ponder the wreckage that ensued, that she understood what she had been feeling at the end of that week. It was hope.

*****

It was later the following week just after lunch. Claire was at her locker exchanging books when Kyle walked up.

"Hey Claire, how are you today?"

Claire turned to see him walk up. She tilted her head slightly and smiled at him. She was doing that a lot more lately.

"Hi Kyle, I'm good thanks."

"I was walking by and figured I'd just say hi since we don't have calculus today. Are you ready for finals?"

"Yes, I think so."

Claire wasn't the class valedictorian, but she was in the top ten. Without the social activities that distracted so many other students, she had plenty of time to devote to studying.

"Yeah, me too." Kyle paused for a moment before adding on a whim, "Hey, would you like to hang out after school sometime?"

Claire froze for a moment. While she had been hoping for an opportunity like this, now that it presented itself to her, she didn't know what to do. Should she ask her parents first? What if he wanted more than to just hang out? Was she ready for that? Even if she was, should she be doing anything like that with the first boy that came along?

The slight panic that gripped Claire as she processed all these thoughts must have shown on her face and it caused Kyle to backpedal a bit.

"It's ok if you don't want to Claire, no pressure."

Claire quickly pushed the thoughts away. She was 18, she should be able to go out with a boy if she wanted to. She had an opportunity that she had wished for in front of her and she felt that she was letting it slip away.

"No! ...I mean no, it's not that...sure, I'd like to hang out some time."

Kyle realized that he wasn't planning on asking Claire out when he walked up. But the way she smiled at him just had an effect on him that he couldn't place at that moment, and so he just went for it. Now that she agreed he realized that he had no idea where he wanted to take her. Sure, he had been living in the area for the whole school year, but he hadn't dated since Charlie passed, and he realized that he didn't know of a good place to take Claire.

"Ok, great. Well, give me a bit to think of somewhere to go and we'll plan something."

"Ok, that sounds great."

"Ok, well I've got to get to class, bye Claire."

"Bye Kyle"

Kyle continued on towards his next class as Claire looked on with a smile on her face.

Behind her, several lockers down, Kristin and Lexi smirked to each other and giggled. They then headed off to find Kaitlyn.

*****

If Claire had stopped to think about it, she would have been thankful that she had mostly finished her studying for finals as she couldn't concentrate on anything for the rest of the day. She was beginning to understand the dreamy way people would speak about a boy or girl they liked when she overheard their conversations. It was a euphoric feeling and one she had very little experience with.

She happily headed to her locker to make her final book swap of the day. As she opened the locker a folded piece of paper fell to the ground. She put the books in her arms on one of the shelves in the locker and bent over to pick it up. She opened it and began to read:

Claire,

I thought about where we should go. Let's meet tonight at the pond at Henderson Park at 6 p.m. Can't wait to see you.

Kyle

Claire just stared at the note. Even though it was short, and the contents were simple to understand, she still found herself rereading it over and over. After she was satisfied that there was no way she could be misinterpreting what it said, she gathered the books she needed. She then gently placed the note on top and held the stack to her chest. She walked down the hall and towards the exit.

Looking on, Kristin gave a slight chuckle and turned towards Lexi.

"Think she'll show?"

Lexi laughed, "Are you kidding? Did you see the way she held onto that note? She's a lovestruck puppy. No way she doesn't show."

*****

The euphoria lasted the whole ride home. Claire got out of her car and practically skipped into the house. Her father was still away on business, so Claire put her books down and headed to her mother's office.

The conversation that ensued was a bit of a shock to Claire. Her parents had never been anything but supportive of her. To be fair to her mother though, she had never come home and asked to go out and see a boy before.

"Momma, why are you so worried about this?"

"It's just that you barely know each other sweetie. I'm just wondering if this is too fast."

"How can I get to know him if I can't go spend time with him Momma?"

Claire's mother not only had to concede that point to her, but also concede that she was woefully unprepared for this conversation. She could see the pleading look in her daughter's face and it her heart nearly broke. There was no way she could keep her from this opportunity.

"Ok sweetie, you can go. But please be home before dark."

It was basically summer at this point and didn't get dark until nearly nine o'clock. Three hours would be fine for Claire. Her mother, for her part, did not want her daughter driving after dark. To her knowledge, she probably never had. She just didn't go anywhere.

"Ok Momma, thank you!"

Claire gave her mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek and left her office. She headed to her room and realized she didn't know what to do with herself for the next three hours. Should she change her clothes? Isn't that what girls did for a date? They dressed up didn't they? That was going to be a problem for Claire. Most of her clothes these days were baggy on her. She did it to hide of course. When the rest of the girls hit puberty, their bodies grew in all the places that boys lusted after. Claire did slightly as well, but for the most part, she was still small and waif-like. It was just another thing for the students to torment her about. She had asked her mother what it meant when they called her an ironing board. Her mother didn't know, she had to Google it. It was just another thing that caused her mother shame, because she couldn't protect her daughter from their viciousness.

Claire headed to her closet and looked through it. This is what the women did in the few tv shows and movies she had seen. They looked through their closets and drawers for something to wear. Why was she bothering? Claire knew everything she owned. There wasn't some beautiful, magical dress hanging in the back of her closet that she had forgotten about. She did have a skirt she had bought and worn once a couple of years ago. That might still fit. Her mother had bought it for her when they were going out to celebrate a large contract her father had completed ahead of schedule. The company was so ecstatic that they paid a bonus that they specified had to go to her father. They went out to dinner at a nice restaurant in the next town over. While everyone agreed that they had a nice time, silently they realized that their family was not the type to go out and have a boisterous celebration. So they celebrated at home for any future events that were worth it.

After a little digging, Claire was able to find the skirt and try it in. She was happy to see it fit as she hadn't really grown much since her sophomore year. She did still have a few blouses to wear. Although these days she usually covered them with a baggy hoody if the weather permitted. She put on a pair of low-top canvas sneakers and was happy with the ensemble probably looked on her. She couldn't tell for certain how the whole outfit looked on her as she did not have a full-length mirror and it never occurred to her that she might need one.

Claire did not even think to do anything with her hair and makeup was out of the question as she didn't own any...not that she would have known how to apply it if she did. Satisfied that she was ready, she now had to figure out what to do with herself for the next two hours.