All Comments on 'The Loners Ch. 12'

I first had an issue with Katie, she is just a filler character that went from kidnaped to a threesome in 24 hours. Now Rachel kills TEN police officers!? If this happened there would be a nationwide BOLO in 3 seconds. Why couldn't Rachel let Alan and Katie answer the door as runaway lovers while she delt with the vampires farther away, or jump all 3 of them to the car and drive away? Also do none of the cops have a cell phone to call the FBI to see if they are legit? If this is how vampires do coverup the world should already know of their existence.

As for your opinion of Katie, that's fine. I actually have plans for her presence to become a driving part in the plot later, and not keep her as simply a filler character who can play out threesomes.

As for Rachel's decision to carry out the way she did, every one makes mistakes, even vampires. If every one always acted with perfect logic constantly, the world would be a much better, albeit more boring place.

Now, for the FBI agents. Who said the FBI agents aren't legit? I mentioned way back in Ch. 03, although brief and in passing, that enforcers, both human and vampire, help cover up the vampire's existance.

Now that leaves the lack of the news spreading at the moment. You kind of jumped the gun there, it's not like they'll be able to cover up the deaths of the ten known officers that died in the line of duty completely. But any news, no matter how fantastic, takes time to spread.

However, I will acknowledge that it may be my fault, as the writer, for not making all of these points clear. I will also acknowledge that your points have some merit to them, and that's why I'm taking the time to respond to them. I also appreciate the points that you have brought forward, and I'm certainly not going to ignore them.

However, I'm also the kind of writer that leaves certain explanations vague on purpose. For example, a mystery would be really boring to read if the culprit was and their motive were revealed at the beginning instead of hidden to the end, at least from my perspective. It's also true that I'm kind of making everything up as I go, so the vague explanations allow me time to develop everything so that it all fits together without too many contradicitons.

Whew, that was long, but I hope it answers some questions that may be floating around.

I like the story thus far, and have little issue with Katie or any of the other protagonists, actually it's the gun battle that concerns me. I realize, thanks to a general lack of familiarity with anatomy and firearms, not to mention the ludicrous gunfights from movies that the actual effects of bullets on a real body aren't well known to most people. So, just in case we get into a situation where it matters...

The reason people get knocked around by bullets is not simply a matter of strength. Applied force vs body mass is the primary factor, with strength and balance playing secondary roles. I don't have a problem with Rachel not being bounced around in this scene because most police these days use 9mm weapons, which, while having high muzzle velocity, use a relatively light round and impart a lower than expected hydrostatic shock.

That in mind though, the bullet wound to her shoulder girdle ought to have been potentially more damaging. Entry is soft, but carried through, the round could shatter the scapula and cause rearward motion of the arm and should on that side to be impaired. Also bullets have a tendency to change direction in the body, deflecting off hard tissue. Also, please remember, a bullet does more injury exiting than on entry.

I realize most of this is technical consideration that bears little dramatic impact on the story, and they story is enjoyable without any serious consideration of real physics, after all, it's a vampire love story. Keep up the excellent work.

Yeah, I'm pretty much clueless on how guns actually affect the human anatomy. I freely admit that, both on a medical level and on the level of physics.

I do know it's quite a complex process, to attempt to count for shock factors, entry and exit wounds, bullet size, bullet velocity, bone structure, and nerve structure to name a few.

Not to mention that in this case, this is a vampire's anatomy vice that of a normal human, some of which will be explained later.

I apologize, and I'll try to account a little more for this kind of thing in the future, but I'm not about to take full on classes to get a complete physical understanding of the human body and the effects that bullets or other weapons or even explosives can have on it.

In short, I'll kind of be going Hollywood/Anime concerning damage done by weapons and attacks in the fact that they will be over simplified or over exaggerated. Sorry, I'll do my best for a more realistic approach, but don't expect much. But I do appreciate this being brought to my attention.

Good story so far. Characters are good and so far and the plot is not too crazy for a vampire story :)

I do wonder if this chapter was rushed a abit? The shoot out seemed to be a bit dis-jointed?

Definitely waiting for the next chapter.. but take your time and tell the storey you want to tell... don't worry about what people want you to write :)

After the fight that Rachel engaged in, everyone is going to be stressed out. The argument must be put aside in order for the group to survive and for love to continue.