All Comments on 'The Long Fall Ch. 01'

respects but you totally blow it in others.

You are very good at getting across the characters emotions and confusion. Their disjointed and random thoughts and the mechanics you use are very good for conveying mixed emotions, doubts and confusion. You also do a pretty fair job of muddying the waters wrt the root issues in a story. You do well at presenting both sides and making things gray instead of cut and dried/black and white.

On the minus side - you try too hard to be artistic sometimes. Sometimes it seems like your characters are just wandering around looking for something clever to think/say rather than living the situation you set up for them. Instead of them dealing with/reacting to the situations you put them in, it sometimes seems like they are removed from it and just using whatever scenario happens to be occurring as an opportunity to say something profound.

I also think that you try too hard to muddy the waters sometimes. Maybe its a fine line and it seems odd to think one aspect of your writing is a plus and a minus, but thats how I feel. Everything is gray but somethings are less gray than others. It sometimes seems like you go too far one direction trying to prove that your an intellectual man (your male leads I mean) and it takes away from their overall development. They seem a bit one-dimensional and emotionless sometimes. It often seems like they are more worried about being seen as clever (even if only in their own minds) than they are about whatever their spouses are doing (i.e. blowing their brothers in the living room).

Anyway, this is a very good story so far and even the next part isnt too bad. I do like your writing and think your stories are pretty good (dont always agree with what you say though). My problem is that I just dont like the characters you write about very much. The women arent usually fleshed out enough to judge except to say they are selfish and often uncaring. The men you write about are just tiring. They grate when reading about them in fiction - I could only imagine how annoying they would get if you were socializing with them irl. It must be tiring for the guys themselves as well. Always worried about keeping up the charade. Never letting the veneer of evolved, refined, quasi-intellectual slip. Always wondering if others see you the way you want to be seen. It would be a horrible way to go through life imo.

Thanks very much for writing.

didn't do anything,but watch your brother fuck your wife.dumbest shit i ever heard.no baseball bat to the head,nothing but stand and watch.to control and no emotions.

You did a good job of getting into his head - what his emotions were. That's what writing is all about.

Her character was more one dimensional but without knowing where the story is going it it's hard to say if that's important.

The story is well written - nice pace.

Regards, DJ

He held it better than most...Sad situation ...now you have a family that will never be the same..i would never see a brother of mine again who would betray me in that way...and a wife who would ..i say divorce her ass and if you have anything to do with her let her see the kids every other weekend..or lol move her into the den and tell her that thats her new bedroom...sleep on the couch bitch...this is still after i divorce her sorry ass...then you can still visit her on her couch and get a blowjob every now and then ...she does seem to like sex on a couch

good start but we have a super wimp hubby coming up here folks...

look at the ending... he sees his wife fucking his brother

so the hubby AFTER throwing the brother out...

he goes back to bed?!?!?!!?!?

sure very real. happens all the time

much like ave Joe said I am sure hat after this great start ... you will fuck this up. why do I say that?

b/c you ALWAYS do. Its Just that simple.

The author made 3 key points which will KILL this story. Either the author wil Ignore these points in his Own story or come up with the worst plot since HOUSE OF CARDS

First the GINA incident. While you have the husband say it wasnt a fight the fact that he delayed telling his wife about Gina's advances got her upset. But he did tell the wife.,.. did tell GINA...NO... and he did nothing wrong.

Yet she got VERY uspet. Marriage...US... Union....

Now she is sucking and fucking his brother. Will there be ANY COMMENTS about this hypocrisy from the Husband?

NO!!!! How do I know this? B/c they stay together --- at least that is what you tell us in the story

The author made the B-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-G point on the fact that she sucked and fucked his brother in their living room with all sort of family/ Marriage STUFF around her... and Him...to remind the wife and brother of what they were risking. Yet she did it anyway.

This tells the reader that she doest care. The fact that cunt wiife had sex either that day or the day before with her husband.... is a BIG hurdle.

Which leds to the 3rd hurdle. The story begins with wimp husband sayibg dont worry I wont leave you.

That means something AMAZING has to happen for him to believe and accept the cunt whore wife's excuses.

what could that be? so you see folks given all 3 of these major points... There is NO way these two can stay together. None

Thus I suspect the author will ruin this story in BIG way... by doing the only thing he can. He LIE. And cheat. The author will NOT address any of these points.

Best thing I've read on Literotica for a long time. I wish I could write one half so well. Congratulations.

good job!i look forward with pleasure to part 2.thank you

I read Harry's comment first before I read the story. I wasn't sure I would feel any different, but I decided to give it a chance.

Based on your story history, I believe I know how this will end (and that's why I was going to rate it liked Harry did) but then I decided to rate the story on what you had here and not on what you "might" write in part two.

In part one you did a fantastic job in writing a story of complete betrayal and heartbreak. In this story you made me feel so tremdously bad for the husband and totally feel that he didn't deserve what happened. For "flirting" with danger his wife made him feel like he did the worst betrayal ever. Like he totally let their marriage down for what he "thought" about doing. Not for actually cheating. But here where she actually crossed the lines she seems to have no remore for what she was doing until she was caught.

Here's something else that makes no sense, but I guess you'll expand on in part two. Two people don't feel that comfortable with each other, like you portrayed in the story, without a previous history together of some form. The little touches, the blow jobs (I counted 2 from the husband's account while he watched) and his brother was playing with his half-naked wife. Then the way they touched and gave looks to each other as she was heading to bed. That was the way lovers acted. What I didn't fail to miss was that after she blew him to completion he refused to kiss her.

And the fact she was willing to do this with her husband and kids in the house takes the betryal to a whole new level. The reason that I gave it a good rate was that it seemed to convey the spectrum of the husband's jumbled thoughts. He was all over the page before the anger came. He tried to pretend but in part one you let him get some dignity and refuse to "pretend" it never happened like she and his brother wanted him to do.

The only thing I "suspect" is that the son Will maybe his brother "Bill's" kid. I wondered, and suggest this, because Bill and Will are both short for "William" and you commented at the beginning about how Bill somehow ended up holding Will at the family picture instead of him. If you do decide to go this route, in honesty I'm not sure how they could stay together. Not in keeping in how you started part one of this story. Almost no person with some form of dignity will let his brother have sex with his wife, with him and the kids in the house, and father kids for him to raise as his own. I believe most of us just won't see them staying married if you choose to make it a forced reconcilation story with Bill fathering Will and this wife cheating with her husbands brother in their house. And at this point if they stay together that's what it will be.

Of course if you decide to keep them together that's your choice, but to me it would ruin a fantastic start.

-Risq

it makes the reconciliation even more impossible... and yes I agree given how these 2 scumbags seem to know each other... the odds are HIGH that these two turds have do this sort of thing before

I'm just waiting for the "Boogy-WIMP-Monster" to pop outta the closet. I can't believe the stupid mother-fucking wimp boy would just STAND there and watch! It is so frustrating to have him let them have their fuck THEN confront them. He could have interrupted them, and kicked them out just as effectively,(a little coitus-interuptus is always a good revenge) and insisted that bro take the slut wife with him. They could have finished fucking some where else. I hope like hell he doesn't take her back, but hey-that's what makes this a "whorror" story, and fun to read.

Gace you a 5 your discription of feelings is fan-damn-tastic. Can't wait for part 2. Don't let him be a wimp in the end PLEASE!

I've read the entire story elsewhere so I'll comment now.

Powerful writing that is H. Jekyll's hallmark. Superb prose that captures each moment and crystallizes them in words that go down easy.

The character descriptions and development are outstanding. The authorship here is virtuoso as the author carefully shows us who John and Ruth are. They're human beings who aim high but fall from grace. Their marriage is fundamentally sound but human frailty and weakness have crept in, causing some cracks in the walls. John is loving, caring and nurturing of his wife and his children. He's devastated by her infidelity as it smashes his perception of who Ruth is. His predictable feelings of outrage, humiliation and anxiety precipitate the couple's separation.

Ruth, too, is flawed. She loves her husband but has never truly forgiven him for his indiscretion early in the marriage. She's infatuated with Bill and believes that she has a free pass. She doesn't and her adultery comes nigh to ending the marriage.

The growth in the two characters is superbly handled. John realizes that Ruthie isn't all sweetness and light. That she's controlling and manipulative, capable of deception if it suits her purpose. The angel that he placed on a pedestal is replaced by the very human woman that he still loves deep in his heart.

Ruthie loses what she values most in life: her family. Her husband and her children are gone and for what? A moment of pleasure that results in a lifetime of pain. Ruth's and Bill's cheating destroyed his marriage as well. Once she's on her own, she has to accept that everything she loves is gone.

The reconciliation is wonderfully described. There are no trumpet fanfares, no choirs of angels, no dazzling fireworks, just two wretchedly unhappy people standing on a trashy walkway of a drab apartment complex who decide to be happy together rather than unhappy apart. There's forgiveness but no forgetting, recommitment and renewal. This resolution of the story's central conflict was deftly handled and I will remember that scene and the feelings it evokes.

Excellent fiction this is. Hell, it's better than excellent. This 100's for you, Henry, for a story told way better than I ever could. My thanks again, my friend.

The writing is terrific,not every one would grab a gun and blaze away.I am sure I would but have never been there so I don"t know. Can"t wait for the rest.Thanks

...had you not meandered all over hell to get to the point where you ended it. There were also incongruities in the story line that were detractions from reality. For example, the stupid husband sneaked around and found his wife screwing with another man, rushes to crawl back into bed without saying anything, and then says something absolutely stupid (about not brushing her teeth) as a way of letting her know what he had seen. THEN he goes down and throws the other guy out. How brainless was that? So, I have little hope for what is to follow. I'm sure that will be just a poorly thought through also.

and I love this story. I think it's one of your best.

The jumbled-up, confused nature of John's reactions, which some readers object to, makes perfect sense to me, and I find it one of the best parts of the story.

Yes, I too wish he had burst in on the lovers long before letting it get to masturbation and fellatio, but I can believe that a man might do what John did. And the aftermath, all the little scenes--with Kaetlyn, with Bill, with just John and Ruth--ring very true--and very painful.

It's a great story.

Thanks, ohio

as the title suggest,hoping to see some decisive resolutions in the end.

This is a good read, but i hope to read the final installment soonest.

benhur726

I wonder why the husband dosn't interrupt them. I mean he lets his wife finish sucking off his brother...lets him get his rocks off...hasn't anyone ever heard of blowjob interruptus. It polays hell on a guy's system. This hubbie ( loosley) has to let his brother fill his wife's mouth with sperm then waits for later to confront and has to put up with the denials...Hey how can you deny when you have a man's cock sticking down your throat...

Yes I will conceed that this author handles the internal angst of the husband very well.. Mr Jekyll has done this very well with his other works such A MARRIAGE and UNFAITHFUL

That being the case I HOPE that the author can handle or at least TRY to answer the key questions I posed.

not b/c I posed them or that my opinion means anything... but b/c my questions are reasonabkle.

In order to reconcile the author has to show HOW and WHY the whore wife has been fucking His BROTHER-- talk about humiliation!! --in the next room-- and doing so for many months or years... and how she ignored all the family stuff around her as she sucked Bill's cock

Frankly Alvraon563 you come across as super wimp lover and a romantic chump most of the times so I will wait and see if this is going to be as good as you assert.

for example in the story A MARRIAGE by this author the cheating wife -- who is fucking some guy several times while her husband is playing poker -- tries to commit suicide to get him to comeback

he of course come back to her since he is a super wimp.

Not a Good basis for a marriage reconcilaltion after all that cheatuing on her part ...

everyone what happens next. Not only does it take away any suspense and drama the reader might have felt, it craps all over the author. If he (author) had intended everyone to know how the story was going to turn out, he would have posted it one piece or told us at the beginning.

About the story and other comments (not the cliff notes spoilers):

- I agree with Ohio wrt the authors style. Ive said it before and Ill say it again - the author is very good at getting the confusion and mixed emotions of the husband across to the reader. His thoughts, and particularly the disjointed and fractured way they are presented on the page, combine to be very effective at making the reader understand how conflicted he can be.

- I also agree with Harry (again). The author has a tendency (like many others on this site) to spend 9/10 of the story explaining to us why the husband shouldnt take her back then he just has a random 180 degree turn about at the end. The husbands seem to cover all the reasons why the wife cant be trusted and how, without trust, there cant be much of a marriage. He (husband) is very good at exploring his own insecurities and jealousy. He even usually considers just how shallow his wifes love for him must be if she can act like she does. After all his soul searching and self-honesty, he then proceeds to just forget about it and go for a trite 'It wasnt easy but we stayed together ending'.

I really hope that Alvaron is wrong about how this one ends, or at least that the author puts a little more effort into explaining why all his original thoughts and emotions are suddenly invalidated. You shouldnt take my dislike of your endings too harshly - its because you do such a good job with the details of the husbands hurt feelings, insecurites, anger, jealousy, etc, that his sudden turn-around often seems jarring and out of place to me. Without him being so well developed and insightful during the body of the story, it wouldnt seem so odd that he suddenly backtracks without so much as an epiphany sometimes.

Anyway, thanks much for writing.

sitting on his shoulders in the photo is the brother's kids. I think the wife has been cheating on her husband since the kid was born. She's a fucking pig and the husband should throw her ass out for good.

bring on another chapter with her side of what happened with bill as long as she didnt fuck him and it was just a blow job that shouldnt be a divorce.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga.

This is a beautifully written, thoughtful story of a quality one seldom sees on this site. It's such a pleasure to see a writer of this ability putting in such effort for our benefit. Many thanks to H. Jekyll!

Poor hubby, this is a no win situation for him. Don't wimp out and let little brother back into his life.....ever, I speak from experience. He would know in no uncertain terms that if he ever saw me face to face again....he would die, on the spot. Ruth is severely damaged goods. The marriage might survive for the kids, but even with counciling, it will never be anywhere near the same, and she and the dirt bag brother are to blame. The husband needs to level the playing field, because she only needs to be in his life only as a mother to the children, not as his lover or a mate he trusts, he deserves more.

They could get past it but it doesn't look, at this point, that he's interested in that course.

Is there anything she can say?

He's talking about her with others now. Why? Just because she had others before they married?

Will they take the 2-3 years counseling to get past it or split the furniture?

Sorry. Sorry? Oh yes, I slipt the milk, I am sorry. Yes if fucked and sucked your brother and I am sorry, lets go to bed and make love. Yeah right!

He knows she did it of her own accord. He knows she didnt clean or wash herself before coming to bed with him. He knows she didnt want it to end, just afraid someone would wake up. He knows she really isnt sorry and really doesnt care for nor respect him. Yeah sorry and a buck with get you a newspaper in some places.

What if the one that had awoken and walked in was the little girl? Would she still be sorry? She has shown herself to be a slut with a worthless lying brother. Be well and done with both and have a real life!

...nothing else to say. Waiting for more.

opps I meant Alvaron53 who decided to show he attempts to read in other story collections and thus has the right to spoil the story for the rest of us.

However, A I want to fuck you from a female co-worker that is not carried through does not create blanket permission for the wife to start a public business as a whore. I did not understand why the husband went back to his bed with the sole comment of go brush your teeth.

He does need to have the kids DNA checked and not wimp out, but dump the 'wife' who uses an excuse like so and so is hot for you so I have have or continue to have sex with your brother and as many other men as I can get. The trust is gone and the only shame is that he did not get pictures.

Ignoring Asshole53, I hope he grows balls of his own to have some to get kids that are his from a new wife.

Ignore them.

Sorry Alvaron53 I don't agree with anything you said. I just read part 2 of the story and I can't believe I wasted my time hunting it down.

I can't give part one any lower rating than I said I would based on it by itself, but I won't comment on what I will give part two.

Harry, your going to have a field day with part two. But you might want to check your CAP's key today before you read it, I think it's going to get quite the workout. (^_^).

It has so many inconsistencies, half thought out ideas, and half carried out plots that are never resolved it doesn't make sense too me. And the ending is so "desperate" it insulted my intelligence.

Sorry, I hated Part 2.

Trust me folks, Alvaron53 really gave away "NOTHING" with his post. Maybe wishful thinking on his/her part, but nothing that most will probably agree with. Unless this type of story is your cup of tea that is.

-Risq

part II is so idiotic, if you had set out to do it, you had to be some of the guys here who cranks up 15 a week on how angry they were, one minute, after having caught their wives cheating, and then the next, having a raging hard on and couldn't stop stroking themselves ---- you had to be some nuts like that, to come up with such idiotic ending

the style of the writer --- i have to admit --- blends well with his confused characters: if you notice, the "style" of the writer is about a central and perplexing man, who's not sure what to do when he witnesses his wife sucking off brother.

he watches her finish and then races her back to their bed; 2 seconds after he's on the mattress, she opens their bedroom door and then is on the mattress next to him, trying to snuggle. and all he says is,

"you could at least wash your mouth before you snuggle up and trying to kiss me, honey"! [a bit added here for exaggeration effect purposes],,,

the only thing is, the hubby doesn't tell us how excited he is over the whole thing, though he tells us he is very angry and goes back downstairs and throws the brother out immediately. presumably the REAL CAUSE is not that the brother and wife were sucking each other on the couch but that SHE DID NOT BOTHER washing her mouth before slipping next to him!

well, guess what?, in the "conclusion" the hubby, until the very end, keeps saying, "I can deal with you. You need to move out, move out, move out, move out, MOVE OUT!"

okay, so she does move out. then, a few paragraphs later, representing some weeks/months, he says he can't live without her. by this time she has decided that she would have to go on her own. so, what happens? our "hero" drop by her tiny place, unnanounced and declares,

"Oh, honey, I love you so much! I can't live without you! CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME? Forgive me for my pride, ego, stupidity. Please, come home. The children and I can't live without you and YOUR LOVE!"

naturally, the wife's/woman's looking at the wimp and says, "Why are you doing this to me? Here, I've readied myself to move on and here you are, on your knees, crying for me to come back? WTF!"

the wimp, with tears running down his eyes, still on his knees,

"Please, please, I'm begging you, honey. I will never say any thing bad about you again, no matter what you do. I'll do whatever you want, let you do whatever you want. I will never question you or say a harsh word against you again; the children and I can't live without you. I don't even care if both children are not mine biologically. I am their real father, as I've raised them from infancy."

again, a bit of an exaggeration here, for exaggeration purposes, but the crux of the matter is, PART II of this story is MORE OR LESS exactly in that vein. it's total idiotic,,,,,,,,,,,

He cheated in the past, and she is getting her revenge fuck (okay it was only a hand & knob job, so she didn't actually fuck the brother). Personally I wouldn't stay with the bitch who waits years for revenge; and I'm afraid he will. I am on “nins & peedles” waiting for the "Boogey-Wimp" to jump out at me, and I fear the sad horrifying ending. He forgives but never forgets, and they muddle on in some kind of weird half life, claiming to be stronger/better for it. BUT there is always hope for a happy ending; which would be he dumps her & lives well, finds a new and better wife, while she suffers in her own private hell, or even manages to off herself.

Lets see if I see the wife's justified revenge like you did.

-The talks to another woman that is interested in him

-He flirts with Her, because he knows she intrested in him.

-She confesses her love for him one day during the flirt session.

-He backs off and tells his wife a week later that another woman was intrested in him.

Now his wife is hurt, not that he was flirting, but because she felt deceived because she said he should have just came and told her when it happened and not a week later.

So to get her revenge, like you said she was entitled too years later, she gives his brother a blowjob, in their house, with her husband and kids not all that far away in that said house, and lets him play with her until she orgasms. So while he only "thought" about cheating she actually went and got "Physical" with someone and carried it a step futher.

Yep Zed, I totally see where she balanced the scales. He flirts always equals out with she gives out blowjobs to soothe her feelings.

Your kidding right?

-Risq

I mis-read your post. I thought you were saying it balanced out.

Uhhh, what Zed said (^_^)

-Risq

Ruth equated John's failure not to tell her as soon as Gina told him about her feelings toward him to her giving his brother a blow job and letting him finger her cunt.

Huh!

One could argue that John acted in a honorable matter to avoid any future problems in his marriage.

Bottom Line: Ruth is a cold and conniving bitch. She had no remorse or guilt sexing her brother-in-law a few feet from her husband and kids. She played up the Gina incident to control John in the future. She seduced her brother-in-law so there is no telling whether this incident was the first time or who else she may have fucked in the past. There is no assurance that John's kids are his.

So in Part 2 John takes her back with no conditions. Wow What a romantic ending! NOT!

SleeplessinMD

Your writing skill is wonderful, story very interesting with appealing conflicts between the characters.

Husband should divorce the cheating wife then file for custody .

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga.

he sit there and watch the whole thing and afterward go off. why didn't he stop the act in the beginning.he want to be cockold just like some wimp bitch.get mad after the fact and should kick some ass while she was blowing his brother in his house with family at home.nobody had any respect for drama queen husband.

This is another typical H. Jeryll story. Good story, but just another story of a wuss.

Excellent writing!!!! I'd have given u 100 only for ur writing style, but u handled the story in way what might have been real for a every-day guy - not every one in the world is macho to kick or wuss to lick.

Absolutely fucking loved the style. Pretty good story too. Part 2 can never maintain to this standard, here goes...Mancelt.

Good story but very badly written. Pl improve your style of writing

and enjoys 'brother-flavored' creampies until kingdom come

You need to tell the story without all the confusing stuff that makes so difficult to read and understand. On that basis, I should have given it fewer stars. Nevertheless, although difficult, I was able to understand the story as written. And, since it was a very good story, I gave it 5 stars.

now the fall-out must ensue. TK U MLJ LV NV

I can not stand a coward wimp husband. He should just kill himself. If that was my cunt wife and brother, neither one of them would have made it out of that den alive!!! a nice 9 iron to the skull of good old brother followed by a shot to the wife.

What a fucking pussy! Do you know what I would do to my brother if he did that!

he nukes the both of them.

Yeah after all he is pure as the driven snow. Oh wait on he had an affair and she forgave him. But as it is a mannnnn that is wronged he has truth, justice and the American way on his side and they both deserve to die slow painful deaths.

Double standards only just begin to describe that attitude.

Can't wait to see how this plays out.

without a chute or a net, TK U MLJ LV NV

How despicable. A brother can't trust a brother with his wife. Fucking cunt. On to ch.2.

And his favorite nephew is called William!!! Hummm!

What a fucking wimpy, and the worst kind of story wring. NEVER RIGHT AGAIN, you bastard.

And to let you know I never finished the story. It wasn't worth wasting time, you fucking, wimpy son of a bitch,,,,,!!!!

In such a situation only Literotica characters would not be all over them like a tiger on a bull and his cow!

She is too comfortably intimate with Bill for this to be their first time together.

This is an affair not a one time thing.

wonderful story and written in great style and form. I hope the concluding chap is as good. Divorce the cheater, if he can afford it. Is Bill the father of one or both of the kids?

I suspect "Will" is most likely Bill's, hence all of the attention when he is around. With her actions, and their familiarity and comfort around each other; this was far from their first get together. I would definitely have both kids DNA checked and get the hell away from her until the results are available. He definitely needs to gather as much info as he can, to find out how deep this pile of shit is he's going to have deal with. DAMN, nothing like your family to fuck you over.

Still five stars. Still love it. Still a favorite. Why isn't this rated much higher?

Will be a lying, cheating slut whenever they think they can get away with it.

wimpy cuck shit.

What the fuck is it with you ass-wipe authors that persist in making the husband, who catches his wife in the act with another man, such cowardly wimps??? In this case, his own brother with his wife! It would have been a better story, even though shorter, had you have you protagonist go into a rage, grab a wine bottle and storm into the den, throw his wife off of his brother and smashed the bottle across his brothers face then kicked the living shit out of him! That done, grab him by his hair and throw his ass out of the house! Then turn to her and tell her she's got 30 minutes to pack her shit and get the hell out!

YUCK YUCK YUCK!!! This is really the most wimpish non-man person in any story I have read so far. PUKE

I was awaken by a big ugly biker swearing and cussing (lol) at the foot of the bed a bed I shared with a naked Dorthy at 6 in the morning. I was with his ex in bed naked, no I only known her a week....I got lucky. I jumped up at to the end of the bed and said no. Funny thing, my thing, my morning woody was in his face (lol). The shock value maybe saved my life or his. I got to leave quickly and with some dignity. Dumb chick, got no more of my dick....(lol). She left the front door unlocked. I didn't know what to do just reacted to what I had to do. That man didn't know he was almost a statistic but then again it could of been me....

I wish I was more like this man in this story.....5s.......bill

Well written thought process, he was a thinking man.

I wonder if they went all the way or only engaged in oral sex. The intimacy suggests this wasn't the first time and this in turn implies they certainly did go all the way before hubby cottoned on to them. That being said, the author has cleverly left out the details so the reader must fill in the gaps with his/her own conclusion.

What do other readers think? Did they have penetrative sex or did they only dabble in oral delights? I would like to hear your two cents.

After about 3 years I swerved into this story again. I wish I'd have given it five stars instead of four, as I did, for the superb writing.

I then went to the find any comment I may have made in 2014 - I found it.

I must admit I had the same emotional response as I did then.

I can envision the story continuing up to the point of being convinced something sexual was going on. Hubby should have progressed at this point like he did after she came to bed but without the additional sex. The child awakening would still have fit nicely as in the story. I'm pretty sure what would follow in the next part(s) could play out the same.

My point being this would be the more masculine reaction to what he saw.

Why the fuck didn't he storm in and break them up as soon as he became aware?! The stupid ass deserves to wallow in all the misery ,made 50 times worse by allowing them to carry out the sex while he stood there! ~ Ch 2 ,another cuckfest?Nothing good can follow his wife's disrespectful cheating,and with his brother no less. No more family reunions for Wimpy the Cuck!

Coward character reflective of author.

The weak America/British/Australian husband just stands there and lets his wife fuck some guy...he's paralyzed...he's emotionally wrought...he feels faint. He's a fucking pussy boi, and for some reason this and other LW authors think they need this kind of unmasculine man to be able to write a story.

Every woman is a lying, cheating slut when they think they can get away with it

So treat them as one.

I’ve just re-visited this story and I still think it’s a really good one, despite many recent comments that say the husband (John) was a wimp, and that he should have stopped the bitch when he first discovered her, etc., etc.

Perhaps these commenters are right, but not every man is so decisive when faced with something like this. I have no idea what I would do, but I think I may have reacted as John did in this story, because I probably just could NOT believe that my loving wife would, or could, EVER do anything like this. I would imagine that the shock of seeing Ruth enjoying fellatio with his brother (Bill) would be so surprising, so inconceivable and unbelievable, that his mind would almost shut down momentarily to preserve his sanity.

This is actually a natural reaction, when people say and do inappropriate and unrelated things in the face of extreme stress. I also wonder if those of us who read these stories aren’t conditioned by them to jump in and smash the cheaters and immediately condemn the husband as a wimp – hell, there are so many stories in LW where BTB is the norm and I can’t help but think it has become an automatic reaction to a situation like this.

Apart from this, the story was complex on a few other levels, such as the line thrown in that in the family photo his brother is holding his son and they are both smiling – the inference being that there is a bit more to the relationship than a nephew and an uncle. This was mentioned a few times, and the author has cleverly got us thinking if this is, in fact, the first time Ruth has been unfaithful. And there’s the part when we learn that Gina had a crush on John but he turned her down, but didn’t immediately mention it to Ruth, and so the seed has been planted in our minds that perhaps Ruth has some scheme to somehow get even for some perceived unfaithfulness in John. These are good techniques that the author uses to maintain our interest and to get us thinking.

I loved the story because it was complex and almost understated, with doubt and uncertainty in the mind of John, and then his decisiveness in ejecting Bill from his house. I liked what I think would be a moment of clarity for Ruth when the reality of what she’s done hits her. It's as if she's just awakened from what she thought was just a pleasant dream only to discover that it was horribly real. The score reflects this, but painting the betrayal is always easy – how it turns out later is the harder part to write.

Must be a sensitive soul..... another man might of smacked dear brother in the back of the head with a cast iron pan off the stove...

I’ll see how you end this before I rate it

I got less than halfway through page 1, and said (mumbled out loud) to myself, "Way too wordy," and quit the story.

It just took too long. Jumped to end of a paragraph, and the action is still not completed.

Paul in Oklahoma

Caught did zero deserves it

So far, five stars for hubby. But I suspect he isn't the biological father of at least one of his kids, perhaps both. Ruthie belongs with her suitcase, with her ass planted on the curb, waiting for the Uber ride to hell, but we'll have to see if John is going to forgive or burn the bitch. Personally, I don't see how John in the real world could stay married to his slut wife. She face-slapped John with the ultimate form of disrespect. Banging a co-worker or neighbor is very bad; banging hubby's bro is tremendously bad.

Should have kicked his ass. But kids in the house...

To converluted long for what there is and heading to the ending I anticipated.

Doesn't even urge me to read next chapter really poor job

No explanation of why this pussy husband had to beat her back to the room. Just to make the stupid mouthwash comment? It seems to be a trope with these stories, no confrontation until later. Here the later isn't even explained, I get the need to get your ducks in a row in preparation for a divorce, but here, he tiptoes speedily back to the bedroom because he wasn't ready to confront her until she didn't use mouthwash. Right. All he did was give his asshole brother a chance to have some deniability. Otherwise, so far, a good story.

Why did Bill get to leave under his own power, and why is Ruth still there?

These husbands who are written that just stand there and watch or listen to the whole thing and we are given such detail it almost feels like its meant to be a cuck spank novel regardless of how the marriage ends up in the end.

So the protagonist waits until she comes to bed and then confronts her? At least in other stories when the cuckold stands there watching the betrayal and takes no action, his thought is to prepare for litigation, here this idiot watches the whole thing and says nothing, giving his brother the opportunity to deny, then "barks" at his wife about washing her mouth when she comes to bed. What was the point of him rushing to the bedroom to beat her? Why the tip toeing? Why not confront, out of pure disgust. Hard to have sympathy for this character.

Who are these people?

A good point. He should have stopped it before some of the things occurred. Did he wait so that he could get his wife out of the house?

Good story. Well-written. Personally, I might have interceded, but the story is the author's. Thank you for writing it.

Ed

No one could or would just stand there and watch that crap. Sorry, but in the real world no one is that spineless.

He let it happen, or finish happening. What a goodam pathetic paralyzed cuck.

Very pathetic.

What a wimp! He could of stopped them but he just stood there and watched?! WTF?! Forget about reading a Part 2.

It took a while for me to get into the story. Let’s see how the next part goes.

Well I hope he makes a better job on part2 because part1 was all over the place it seemed as though he did not know where to take the story.

Well written but I cannot understand a man who just sit and watches. And only gets the impetus to confront after she comes back to bed. I am a married man. Kissing and even fingering are infidelities and bad enough. But a full on blowjob (or cunnilingus) is full on adultery. And he did nothing. And the brother being the cheating partner makes it exponentially worse. And to do it in their house while he is asleep is just the height of disrespect.

Besides we have no idea as how many times Ruth has been with Bill. Could be many times. Will see where the author takes. Personally I think the author writes well. But hard to back the protagonist who sits and watches. Instead he watches the two give each other orgasms. Wtf?

My first response to this anonymous post is that it brings up some good points, well worth going over. Second -- since it /is/ anonymous there's no real possibility of any conversation over it. We know John isn't a take-charge guy. We also know that he thinks his wife Ruth is his moral superior. In fact she seems to think that too--until bam! What a kick in the gut. How did it happen? We don't know. Did she rendezvous with Bill other times? We don't know. We don't know anything John doesn't know, and frankly I'm skeptical about the full confessions people give. Why does everybody seem to believe them? Some things are always going to be unknown or suspect, and you have to live with that fact. We do know that John was completely gobsmacked when he saw them, and I don't think his judgment going forward is to be trusted, but that's just me and I'm not going to pull rank as the author.

The long fall??

The long story full of crap

2 pages that could of been just a few paragraphs

Luckly i wont be wasting any more of my life reading another chaptef

We know about the Martian Slut Ray. What we have yet to recognize is the LW Frozen Rope. It comes out of nowhere and freezes mc's for minutes, for hours, for weeks, for months. Normal, active, confident males don't have a chance when the Frozen Rope throws itself over a hapless hubby. The LW Frozen Rope should be a story tag used and accepted even as the Martian slut Ray has become.

Why does the mc have to be a wimp and not stop the infidelity in progress the obvious thing would be to shout "what the hell!"

The question of why does the MC not stop them, or that they freeze and watch the 747 filled to max capacity fly into the mountain side of utter destruction, is simply answered, because that is the end of a half a book of their lives, you cannot unsee, unhear or change the act, all that really remains is a blank unknown, a lot of fear in those unwritten blank sheets of paper. Been there done that have the scars and the t-shirt.

The, "I'm so shocked I'm going to watch 10-20 minutes of my spouse having sex with another person" trope in LW is just... it's done dude. It's done. It's annoying to the reader, as I'm sure you're finding out first hand from the comments. If you want to make him a complete wimp, then just have him turn around and cry in his bed or something. The only way he stays and watches all that is if he's a pervert that gets off on it.

<>

People want to empathize with your main character, but you're making him so unrelatable that it's hard and instead he becomes an object of scorn.