All Comments on 'The Love Shack Pt. 02'

Wow! What a tome to digest. I was devastated when Bonnie screwed everything up. I had fearful trepidations when Jen paired with Jimmy but that worked out well.

I really disliked the last Mazola party. I’m dead set against wife sharing with anyone. I think it takes a big chunk out of a relationship that might never be filled in again. No way José.

Bill S.

Love the stories. Love sharing stories. Hate cuck. Love your writing and your character development. I’m starting to notice a formula that you are using and I love it. 5/5 read more of your literature

Nato

In my review of chapter one, I commented on Jimmy's getting his silicone balls from a discount sex toy store. I still believe that is true. Something else. You either have and hold on to your principles or you don't. Then why react the way he did and have Jimmy participate in something like it with Jen. I am a NO SHARING type of man. Am I that obvious?

3*

BJ

Couple of issues:

1) Why didn't the divorce clause of the original contract she signed kick in as soon as Will showed up to the island? They should have been done then and there and saved like 4 pages worth of story. I take it the author just kind of forgot or hoped we would?

2) You can't base an entire plot around a dude being uncomfortable with a swinger event to the point of divorce and abandonment of friends, only to turn around and have him be ok with it later with the new wife and 4 of the same friends and expect the reader to not notice. It completely undermines the foundation of the story. You even used the exact same reasoning for why the woman wanted to do it. Completely ruined it for me.

Another 5 by one of true storytellers here...

...thank you for writing these.

EastCoaster

Not a group sex person. The difference to me was Bonnie and Jimmy were married and she forced him, Jen and he were just dating, and not committed

Great story - I wonder if it is a true story? Well written and and it sounds like it came from the heart!

I like this one but it seems the main character was inconsistent. He was against the second sex party fr

I take great pleasure in reading your stories. Thank you for sharing. Happy Holidays!

Entertaining story.

Pretty much every to do with Bonnie was predictable and cliche. Considering how many strangers she ended up fucking it's amazing she didn't end up with Aids or herpes.

Quite an Epos - which I very much enjoyed. I think the MC welshed out on his own partial responsibility for the break with Bonny, but we are all human - well, most of us.

Boring. All were cheaters. No one to perk my interest. Read 1st and last page and am glad I didn’t waste tyhe time to read the entire sad story.

The second part kind of went the way I thought it would. Both parts were well written and I enjoyed them despite some inconsistencies with names at times. But I have to agree with several others the 2nd mazola party just didn't work for me. I understand and appreciate that there were differences but considering what happened with Jimmy and Jen after the island disaster the way this was written didn't work for me. Would have expected at least long involved talks with Jen and Jimmy so they had the chance to explain. Which would have helped readers understand. Sorry that bit weakened the whole story for me. It felt gratuitous and just wrong. But overall I enjoyed the story and looking forward to your next one. BardnotBard

You reap what you sow. All of them had issues to differing degrees. There is a reason why pair bonding is so strong and is encoded in our DNA, while open marriages fall apart 92% of the time and often soon after first opening it.

You wove quite the tangled web with this one!

This chapter needs a MASSIVE amount of reviewing and editing. Too much crap to list, in all honesty. The storyline within does not match the facts. Here are some...

Could Jim be more of a hypocrite? He agreed to do the weekend with Bonny. He agreed to SWAP. Came right out of his own mouth. HE SIGNED THE post nuptial that Gerry had prepared, giving Bonny VERY specific terms that she COULD as well.

THEN he spoke with Jenny, telling her he was going to have sex with her. Then the hypocrisy when he asks Bonny NOT to do it? WTF? Q....get your character straight...geez.

They always say "Don't do anything stupid". Grunt did. Hitting Will was about the most stupid thing he could do. He got lucky that Will didn't press charges on him.

When he got home, Bonny had EVERY RIGHT to be angry with him, for his hypocrisy. Jim had no morale standard to stand on. NONE. Even worse is that he had no LEGAL standard to stand on as well. HE ensured that. If Bonny was wrong for swapping, he has no ability to judge her on it.

The post nuptial paper they signed said that they would never repeat it, never discuss it, yet here they are discussing it, when he arrives back home. Bonny would have been better to keep her mouth shut and not say anything, per the document that Jim made. She could let Jim fall into the trap that he set himself.

Jim doing the damage to Bonny's car is just more of an example of him becoming unstable. Starting to show a pattern of behavior. Bonny SHOULD HAVE filed with insurance regarding the damage. This would have put Jim in a pickle.

Bonny could have RUINED Jim in the divorce. All she had to do was show the post nuptial, and show that he violated it by discussing it in court. HUGE win for her.

Jim forcing the Judge to give her word? That is called contempt of court, and he would have been slapped with it in a heart beat. NO JUDGE IN THE UNITED STATES WOULD EVER allow ANYONE to question their integrity either in chambers or in the court room.

Jim, in counseling states that Bonny commented "...go along with the program or she would do it without him" In all actuality, Jules stated this. Not Bonny. Editing issue?

Again, during the counseling, the "Weekend" was mentioned, violating the post nuptial. This makes ALL of the counseling INADMISSIBLE IN COURT. Bonny would have a fun time suing him over this, yet again.

The second post nuptial, although as was said is draconian, is actually fair. Sad thing is that most of that was already covered in the 1st post nuptial. Redundancy was not necessary. Editing could have solved that.

So finally the video footage of Bonny having fun with Will, is finally enough to justify Jim's position and the divorce. Bonny did cheat, she did lie, she betrayed his trust, and hid it from him. Convenient that this part seemed like it was added after the fact. Another editing issue?

This is where it got SLOPPY and MESSY. Names are getting confused left and right. Not good.

Jim was with Jen/Vickie (Not sure, as names are messed up) on the boat, discussing Bonny being a promiscuous lover, with Booger and others. He states that the kids were hurt by this. I would bring up that JIM did EXACTLY THIS HIMSELF in his past. He has no standing to judge, and should have been honest to his children about it, instead of cutting Bonny down. SLOPPY! Getting hard to read at this point.

So the incident at the nightclub where Jim hits Booger, knocking him unconscious. Yet no one calls 911. No one responds to a medical issue? Wow. This town really loves lawsuits, as Booger would be able to file charges against both the club and Jim. VERY SLOPPY writing.

The further comments about Booger and the photo of him and Bonny smells like a 5 year old temper tantrum as written. More SLOPPY WRITING.

Oh look, now an interaction between Bonny and Jim at 4th of July celebration. Oh look, Bonny is acting out the 5 year old part. Jim's part wasn't much better, since they were both very immature in their actions for being their age. The character development at this point has gone totally to crap, to further a storyline. Not impressed at all, any more.

Then when Jen says she wants to move out, Jim doesn't even give her the chance to explain but boots her out. Self-destructive behavior, anyone? Talk about character UNdevelopment at this point.

OK, so after Jim's ephiphany, he has some serious mental issues. Mostly he needs to mature and get his head out of his ass. His immaturity is now messing with more than just his life. He is messing with Jen's life, messed with Bonny's and Jules' lives, and is looking to mess with Vicky and Rhonda. What a mess.

I am also noticing at this point, that Jim has a lot of opinions on Bonny and what Bonny is thinking. Nothing like giving Bonny free rent in his head. He needs to let her go.

So Jim is setting up the mazola party. He says that "Jen needs this". Albeit he made such a show of his antics when Bonny said that she needed it. Funny the hypocrisy.

So Jim didn't invite Bonny to the wedding between him and Jen. Who cares. Again, He needs to let Bonny go. After all, its only been YEARS since they divorced.

So Jim calls Bonny, and tries to give her advice. WHOA. He has NO credibility to give Bonny, ANY advice.

WHAT A MESS.

This story has potential. However, since it is a sensitive issue, it does need to be handled with care. It was not. As I already listed, there are MANY issues to be resolved that will drastically be watershed moments for the whole story.

Read the first and last and glad I did. Writing is excellent but the story line is from hell

This was an impressive read, a really enjoyable story⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I liked the first part, the second became trite and the proverbial Martian slut ray came out in full force. I wish authors would get more creative than this. In the real world, a woman wouldn't jeopardize everything and suddenly become a gang bang queen. IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN.

More realistically, because Will was her boyfriend prior to the MC, he could weasel in and temp the wife, then lead her eventually into sharing. But to go from 0 to 100 in the course of several months is too clichéd unless there was an actual Martian slut ray.

Again, I didn't know where pt 1 was going until the end, good writing. But Pt 2 was telegraphed and cliched.

Unlike some "anonymous" comments I will not nit pick every line & idea or courtroom ethics. The story was involved & detailed (even if off a tad) but it is FANTASY so if you cannot forgo the details that are off then you should quit reading this stuff. I enjoyed the story a lot & could relate to my own 1st wife's lies & back ground set ups that blew up in her face to even her tearful phone call upon hearing of my 2nd wife & I taking our vows when she cried "IF YOU HAD JUST WAITED WE COULD HAVE GOT BACK TOGETHER!" like I was on hold while she rode strange rods to joyland! Yes there are women out there that go from monogamy to if not "gangbang" to @ least multi-men in a row/same time. They convince themselves they need to "feel desired" it sucks but it is true! Keep up the good work I have read several of your works & can say you are very entertaining author! good job!!

This was so good until the last few pages and the mazola party. What happened to all the concerns he had about his wife thinking about other men while they were having sex? He had a lot of reasons why it was a bad idea for Bonnie, but is suddenly okay for Jen. This went from 5 stars to 2 in the blink of an eye. Shame really because QHML1 is one of my favorite authors on this site.

Thank you.

I liked the story and the character development but, a loving, caring wife doesn't suddenly want gang bangs and swapping. It seemed like Bonnie went from loving wife to any prick available which seemed so out of character. I also had a problem with Jimmy's evolving attitude toward an orgy. He was so against it with Bonnie while willing to chance it with Jen.