All Comments on 'The Luckiest Boy Alive Ch. 01'

If you were in Jack's shoes, and a mysterious girl just spewed out of a lamp, what would be going through your head? Would it only take you a few seconds to get over the shock? Personally, I would be more than a little terrified, even if the girl was incredibly beautiful. Describe Jack's thoughts and emotions, and don't be afraid to go into detail.

Once you've done that, and Jack has come to terms with what's happened, put some real thought into the wishes he makes. Wishing for a radically different body might have consequences. Will people notice that he's suddenly changed? Is "unlimited stamina" a good thing? Or does it make his orgasms mundane? If I could orgasm as often as I wanted without needing a break, they wouldn't be special anymore. Try to make his wishes unique and interesting.

Instead of immediately jumping into the sex, consider developing his relationship with the genie. Otherwise the story becomes dull and predictable.

Lastly, don't just copy the other genie stories out there, come up with your own unique spin on things. Using the same "world" built by previous authors is fine, but what makes your story stand apart from similar genie stories? It doesn't have to be a major difference to make it worth reading, it can be subtle.

Just something to think about.

Mostly everything was said by the other user.

Take his advise, work a little more on the details, do not feel the need to rush into the sex.

one is a sexual release, the other is a living creature. watch your writing. look for errors before submission.

I like genie stories. I hope this one has some traction. Good luck.

Total garbage

Definitely slow down on the action, this reads more like a rough outline than a story. Work on your sentence structuring, smoothing them out and linking the action.

Thank you all for the amazing feedback! I have learned a lot and the second chapter will be hopefully better.

Slow down a bit with your writing, as it will allow your readers to picture it better. Love genie stories hope this one lasts better than the other Genie ones.

Having an unlimited number of wishes is actually incredibly limiting for a writer as any challenge that the main character encounters can instantly be solved. The majority of suspense, tension and general interest in a story come from how characters respond to their challenges so if this progresses further you're going to need to either make wishing unreliable in some way (say "I wish my school didn't care how late I was" is enacted as the school being destroyed in a fire) and/or having antagonists with similar or greater abilities that forces him to be inventive with his wishes. If you go with the latter, be aware that you'll run into the same problem as the current superhero films and series in that you'll be rehashing the same story again and again (Iron Man and The Flash are particularly bad for this) and that a wish-battle is likely to end as soon as it starts ("I wish that you are unable to think", "I wish you into the sun", "I wish you to be my willing slave" etc.)

IF your going to steele someone elses work you need to do a better job of rewriting the story.....

https://www.literotica.com/s/genie-chronicles-ch-00-prologue

28DD

You are definitely a man and one who's utterly clueless about breasts because no woman would make such an obvious error! That's not how bra sizes work. Do some damn research because crap like this is annoying as hell!

I have to say this about your story. You really should just go ahead and stop it. Kill it right where it stands because it is going to be crap. Not to mention that it is actually sounding like several other stories that have been posted before. Believe me I've read a ton of genie stories on this website. You should do research on the kind of characters you're going to put into it. Because all Genies have a set of rules that they have to absolutely follow. So as I have said you should kill this story and just start over from scratch. But take your time, build the characters up, figure out the plot of the story. You do that and you will slowly be on your way to learning how to write a story properly. If you can't do that then I'm sorry to say but just don't even bother.

You left your audience wanting more, which is good. I had expected some kind of sitcom twist with magic wishes gone sideways, and then finding true love in the end. You wrote a fine piece of a story, so now you need to stretch yourself and create a whole story for us to enjoy. Your own tale with our own twists and turns, you can do it! Please! TTFN

This is great so far. Cant wait to see more and where it goes.

Story should be deleted