All Comments on 'The Lunar Life Ch. 07'

Good story. I like the two main characters and the plot is moving along very naturally. One correction, though. You use the word "excess" instead of "access" when referring to droids getting info.

So when you get a chance to revise, you may want to change. :) It took a minute to figure out what you meant.

I like the story progression and I can't wait for the next chapter! :)

I liked the emotion you put into this chapter. Poor will :(

TM

Excellent tension and execution. I winced at Trevor's reaction. Too real! Much better pacing. Let the dialogue reveal the character- what people say says more about them than anything. Love the emotional depth growing between them.

Sorry, I didn't catch the mistake with the excess. It's an honest mistake.

Anyway, glad ya'll are enjoying the story. This chapter onwards, things get a little more heavy as compared to the previous few. Just a little. I hope you like the ending I made. Only 4 more chapters to go

This it's what happens when people are lied to. The lie of omission where no one gets to know about homosexuality and it's normalcy in their pre lunar existence has led to this.

This is a story that sorely needs re-reading and editing. It's a wonderful premise, with a lot of potential! However, in its current state, it's come to a point at which I am unable to maintain my interest in continuing to read it, I'm sorry to say. I feel that many aspects need more subtlety and more detail, while others need to be lightened and streamlined. Good luck, and best wishes.