by Penelope Street
The character of the magician is far from sympathetic, and I don't enjoy reading about forced sex, but the miracle of this story is that it went by very fast, due to your amazing technique. You made an effort to tie the complicated parts together (no small feat)and the story was riveting throughout. Good luck in the contest, even if this doesn't "win" in a broad sense it's something you can be very proud of and a winner in my book.
This story was absolutely wonderful. I didn't mind reading eight pages because by the end of the first one I was engrossed in the plot.
Alternately disturbing, erotic, frightening, sickening, uplifting and bittersweet.
A very fine piece of work with excellent use of language, well developed characters and an enthralling plot.
Well done!!
I couldn't stop reading. This piece is a true definition of Literature Erotica.
I got completely lost in the story and in my book that's exactly what you should expect.
Excellent, well done, wow, wonderful...there aren't enough words.
This story was a great piece of writing and the plot was fantastic. The story was so engaging that I sat and read it even though I had to pee lol and everytime Megan said she had to pee it got worse. Awesome work, Penelope :D
Majestic writing. This is an enthralling story, strong with conviction and a great credit to your already acknowledged skill. I'm delighted you chose to post it the comp where a greater number of readers might get to enjoy your talent.
Your command and the confidence of your writing always astonish me. You can make things and people do whatever you want them to, with total believability. Brilliant story, Penny, a perfect little novella.
Well done Ms Penny! I love the twist of literal meanings, and also how stories start off so ordinary in their content, then become something disturbed and extraordinary. I was cheering for Megan! A very original masterpiece - even if by some chance you don't win this competition, it is a winner in my mind!
Wonderful.
Wow!!!
Awesome!!!
Excellent
Fabulous
Majestic
Epic
Entrancing!
Seems like the reviews are in agreement. You've got a well-deserved hit on your hands, Penny. Congratulations!
Rumple
for the weaving of spells and the telling of this story.
Captivating!
This should be the winner.
Black Tulip
loquacious.
This masterpiece has me overwhelmed.
Thnks so much,
Dave
Well done, young lady, well done. Very compelling and well written.
And I have been a fan since the very first time I read your work.
This story held me entranced until the very end.
JOhn
Very good story. Very good indeed. There just....isn't anything else to say.
I'm glad you placed among the prize-winners, but this was the best submission to the Halloween contest and should have won. It is an outstanding original piece of work.
It was a great story, pulled me in and didn't want to let go! I'd buy a book with this story line any day. I mean I didn't want it to end, it left me hungry for more. You could expand this into so much more, enough material for a couple of books if you felt like it. Start with background info on Gino and "his kind", the story of the original owner of the body, more about the the young women he's done this to over the centuries;girls from different backgrounds, nationalities, time periods. Maybe from Shirley's point of view as she goes through his things, flashbacks as she deciphers a journal. A second book could be all about Shirley hunting for others of "his kind" and looking for more of Gino's victims to help. Wow, I could go on and on -but I won't bore you. I could see this being on my bookshelf. Anyway, it was a privelage, thank you.
Wow. Just wow. Its rare for me to find a story i really like, much less one i even comment about. It was just so, well, wow. Im actually speechless, words have kicked and failed me.
Absolutely incredible! An excellent story from start to finish. I couldn't stop reading. This is a rare show of talent compared to most of the other stories on this site, and I hope others will enjoy it as much as I did.
An amazing piece of fiction. Although I would have loved to have known what he was/could do, I feel leaving it a mystery was a wonderful touch.
Good. Too good. Gave me chills. And I loved the twists and turns of her figuring out how to get loose.
I found I couldn't tear myself away from this story- the emotional struggle, the pain... This isn't just an erotic story, this is a wonderfully woven tale worth far beyond a 5.0. Thank you for this art.
You are the magician of words! This is one of the best written stories on this website. Simply amazing.
I loved it! Loved the twisted evolution of the story.
Great writer.
a very good story, to be on the top list of this site. Pretty original and very well written. I just loved it !
many thanks
What an amazing tale! One of my favorites. If you ever write a book, let me know first!
The story was pretty good, and the writing kept me hooked on to the story pretty well. The "gore" involved was not as disturbing as it would be if it were described in greater detail. The story didn't really make me hot, unlike many other stories that do so at the expense of a well developed storyline as present in this story; I guess that wasn't the writer's intent when she wrote it. Anyway, the writer was able to make me (as with most stories) empathise with Megan, even to the point where I actually didn't want her to be sexually exploited. The main plus point of the story was the way it was able to engage me with suspense by keeping that goal of escaping the clutches of the magician always embeded in the mind. Though beautiful as would be expected, the ending was a little too predictable but forgivable since that's the happy ending the writer made the reader want. And lastly, the use of understandable yet precise language made it smooth reading. Pretty nice.
Most stories that go on past three parts usually bore me. I won't even click on them if the description doesn't capture my interest. It seemed wordy at times, but I think that was because it was 4 am and I should have been in bed by midnight, lol! What an addiction this site is!
I know I'm a little late to the party, but this is a great, great story. I like a story that'll punch me in the gut a little, and this one did. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Well done! You chose the right category for this story; it's definitely both Horror and Erotic. You also have a good way with telling a story; you sucked me in, though I'm not normally inclined to read lengthy horror tales. I hope someone notices your talent and gives you a shot at writing your own books.
This story is not just erotic, but clever and scary as well! Probably the best one i read so far. :)
I loved reading your story, lost track of time it was so interesting.
Enjoyed reading something so unusual and different! Thanks for posting.
Wow! I happen to love the image of a magician, so this caught my attention. I love the magic in the story, and you used more detail than the lazy eroticas. I loved your word choice!! You are wonderful!
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It was an amazing piece of writing, one that I could never hope to equal.
Your description of the settings and charactors had me in the story, and I knoew that I had to finish it.
I have added it to my favourites and you as well, I'm so looking forward to reading more of your work.
Thanks once again
xxx
amazing story... loved the concept, the flow and originality of the story! a really, really god job. I look forward to reading your other pieces
This was such a good idea, it should be a movie.
It was well written and was easy to follow. Keeps the reader interested... I'll definitely be looking for your name again!
An amazing, yet somehow dreadful story - but I mean this on a good way. It was fascinating, the characters were all very well set up - even that bastard of a magician - and the plot was as unique as they come.
Still, I can't say that I enjoyed the read so much, even if it captivated me, gripped me by my neck, by my imagination. There's no doubt that this one rates a 5 even if I wasn't overjoyed while reading it, though - such is excellent literature.
This is my favorite story on the site. It is truly incredible. Thank you for sharing it. I don't think you're still around these parts. A shame. This place is lessened without your presence.
A truly stunning and beautiful story.
Incredibly imagined, superbly characterised and masterfully written.
I have not read anything of this calibre on this site before.
Thank you.
I loved this story, you kept interest till the last page, I really enjoyed it ... Thanks
INCREDIBLE!!Erotic, exciting, suspenseful, and so much more truly an amazing read!
Even without the erotic parts, this would be an incredible piece of literature. This is a horror story in the tradition of Poe or Stephen King, but definitely an original work. I cannot applaud it enough. Truly worthy of 5 stars.
What an intriguing tale you have woven. It deserves a second or even a third read. Thanks for sharing.