The Maltese Pussy Cat

"Other services..."

"You're going to fuck me, Miss Spade. Use my body so thoroughly that you own me. That and the money in your pocket ought to be enough to assure you I won't go running off."

"Miss Andersen..."

"Take off your clothes, Sam. But leave your shorts on."

"Miss Andersen..."

"It's a strapless, Sam. Poking it though your shorts helps keep it from coming loose." She handed me the dildo and touched her finger to the lapel of my coat. "Of course, a big strong butch like you can probably hold it in, no problem."

"Miss Andersen, what about Mister Sparkles?"

"He won't care if you fuck me, Sam." Elizabeth tucked her finger under my lapel and slid my suit coat off one arm. "My relationship with Mister Sparkles is strictly platonic."

"Wouldn't it be better to start looking for him sooner rather than later?"

Elizabeth slipped my suit coat off and tossed it over a chair before she answered. "I know exactly where he is, Miss Spade. He's been catnapped."

"Catnapped?"

"Held for ransom." She was on her knees now, unbuttoning my trousers. I'd already lost the battle to keep my suspenders.

"I just need you and your .45 automatic for protection when I go to fetch him." Elizabeth squeezed my ass as she said this. "I know it was wrong to try and take it from you at the diner, but I can't do this by myself."

I stood slack-jawed as my trousers landed in a puddle.

"Are you ready?" She looked up at me with eyes that had probably never seen anyone mouth the word no in their lifetime. And I wasn't about to be the first.

I nodded and stepped out of my trousers, one foot at a time, while she got the strapless tucked into my shorts and situated. I clenched on the bulbous end filling me while I looked down at the other end wagging just inches from her face.

Elizabeth studied it for a moment and then swirled her tongue over the tip. I shivered.

Then she dropped the bottle of lube on the floor between her spread thighs, grabbed my ass with both hands, and buried the entire length of the shaft in her throat. I nearly fell over.

"Lube," she said, smiling as she came up for air. As if that explained everything.

"And what about the bottle, then?" I asked.

"That's for my back door, Miss Spade." She looked up at me with those can't say no eyes again. "I've always wanted to try it. Just never found anybody I thought could deliver it properly. Until now. What do you say, Sam? You want to be the one?"

"Sure, doll." I tried to play it cool, but inside I was jelly.

"Call me Elizabeth, Sam." Elizabeth snatched up the bottle of lube as she stood and grabbed me by the shaft with her other hand. This is how she led me to the bedroom.

"Sure thing, Elizabeth."

No sooner did we enter the hotel bedroom than she flopped down, face first on the mattress and pulled her knees up so her legs were folded up on either side. She looked like a frog ready to jump, but then she threw a glance over her shoulder with those eyes. "Be a dear and fetch a pillow for under my tummy, Sam."

I fetched a pillow. Of course I did. While that obscene shaft bounced around between my legs, I walked to the head of the bed and slid a pillow out from under the bedspread. And I helped Elizabeth get it tucked up under her tummy.

"How do you want to fuck me, Sam?"

"Ladies choice," I said.

She handed me the bottle of lube. "Start slow," she said. "I've never done it before."

"But you've always wanted to try it?"

"Yes, Sam. But only with the right person. Someone who'll give me what I need. You'll give me what I need, won't you, Sam?"

"If it's what you want," I said, upending the bottle to thoroughly coat the shaft.

"Splash some on my ass, too, Sam."

"You sure you've never done this before?"

"I've always—"

"Always wanted to try it. Yeah, I know." I splashed a dollop on her tight ring of muscle.

"That's it, Sam," she moaned. "Start slow, baby."

So it's baby, now is it? I thought as I leaned forward to pressed the tip against the shiny, lube coated pink of Elizabeth's back door.

"Ohh," she moaned as she fell forward onto her face with her arms stretched out in front of her. "Mmm, slow, Sam."

"I am going slow, doll." I looked down. The tip was barely in.

"How much?" she asked.

"Not even the tip."

"Be gentle with me, Sam. I've never done this before." All of her weight was on the pillow under her tummy now.

"You sure you don't want to? We could just—?"

"But I've always wanted to try it," she finished for me.

I leaned forward again.

"Oohhh..." she grabbed a handful of bed covers and yanked it down. She brought a wad of the crisp white sheet to her mouth, jammed it between her chompers and bit down. "Fuck me, Sam," she mumbled around the makeshift gag. "Own me."

I shivered as she said it, and pressed forward a little more. This time, she pushed back, and I watched in fascination as she stretched to accommodate the invading strapless. "Ohhh, Sam..."

And I have to admit, the sensations being transmitted back to me through the length of it were encouraging, to say the least. I shuddered as I looked down at Elizabeth hugging the toy buried halfway inside her.

"Pull it out a little and then stick it all the way in," she said. "Hard."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, Sam. I trust you."

I pulled back, just a little, like she asked. And then I drove it home, filling her to the hilt.

Elizabeth stiffened. She clutched the sheet in both hands until her knuckles turned white and shoved it into her mouth and part way around her face. "Ohh," she groaned. But she took it. All of it. Took that fat shaft until it disappeared from view.

I looked down at the scene below. I think if I'd tried to wrap my fingers around the thing, I wouldn't be able to touch my thumb. But somehow she managed to take it.

"Fuck me, Sam," she said. "Fuck me hard." And this time when she gave me those can't say no eyes of hers, I thought I saw a tear starting in the corner of one of them.

"You sure? Maybe we—"

"Fuck me, Sam. Make me your girl."

I pulled back. About halfway, just like before, and drove it home. There was a wet sticky slap of skin against skin with a generous coating of lube between and Elizabeth fell onto her face.

"Mmm-unngh!" she wailed. "Harder, Sam."

You heard the lady, I said to myself, as I pulled back to deliver another thrust. Her body's resistance to the movement was transmitted up the shaft and got me a bit fluttery for a moment. A few moments. I enjoyed the ride until I had exposed about three quarters and then switched direction to bury it again.

"Mmm-aahhh!"

"That's right, baby," I said, pulling back again.

"Oh, Saaaammm!" She threw her head back as I slammed into her again.

The quivery sensations down below and the scene of Elizabeth bouncing around on the mattress, showing a flash of hardened nipple, and biting down on that wad of bed sheet while she moaned my name was making me light in the head.

I gave her another thrust.

"Grab my hair," she said. "Grab me by the hair. Do it, Sam! Own me!"

If the lady insists. I gathered up a handful of those bottle blonde locks and held on tight as I wound up to deliver another thrust. When I drove it home this time, Elizabeth lost the grip on the bed sheet and her mouth gaped wide.

"Yessss!" she hissed. "Yes!" I shiny rivulet of saliva had formed in the corner of her mouth and was coursing over her chin as the only thing keeping her from falling forward was my hand in her hair.

"Fuck me, Sam! Take me! Own me!"

I fucked her, alright. I took her. And I owned her, all night long. After all, Sam Spade is never one to argue with a lady.

The InterContinental Hotel, 9:45 a.m.

I woke up to a rap on the door and the call of, "room service."

"Just a minute, pal." I rolled out of bed and made a dash for the bathroom and the bathrobe hanging inside. On the way, I stopped to check my jacket pocket. As I suspected, my .45 was gone. Just like Miss Elizabeth Andersen.

"It's on the lady's tab," said the bellhop with the room service cart. The cart held a single plate hidden beneath a silver cover. The young man removed the cover to reveal a breakfast of steak and eggs and retreated back to the hall.

There was a note on hotel stationary under the plate, penned in a lady's hand. Thanks, Sam, it said. You gave me just what I needed.

"Lousy dame," I mumbled. And out of the corner of my eye, I caught the shape of a man framed by the room's doorway. He was bigger than the bellhop, and wasn't wearing the maroon and gold uniform of the hotel. I didn't think he was a friend.

I lunged for the door and almost got it closed, except for the fact that he'd stuck his foot in the doorway.

"How's your foot?" I hollered.

"Miss Spade, we need to talk."

I didn't feel much like talking that morning. Elizabeth Andersen had made of with my .45, so without a piece to back me up, I did the next best thing. I flung the door wide and hauled off with a right to the jaw.

He was a big boy, so while he was stunned and rubbing his face, he didn't go down like I expected. He was also wearing the blue uniform of the city police department and a badge to match. I dropped my fist to my side and stepped back.

"Spade!" I heard. I recognized the voice.

"Lieutenant O'Malley," I said. "What brings you to the InterContinental Hotel on this fine morning?"

"I think what you should be asking, Spade, is why am I not hauling your butt downtown for assaulting one of my officers?"

"Golly gee, lieutenant, because you like me?"

"Spade!"

"He didn't exactly announce himself," I offered.

Lieutenant O'Malley elbowed his way into the room.

"That's a mean right hook you got, Miss Spade," said the kid I'd just decked. He looked like he was fresh out of the academy.

"Sorry, pal. Room Service was just here. You want me to call down and see if they've got any ice?"

The kid shook his head.

O'Mally grabbed me by the arm. "Where's she at, Spade?"

I shook loose from his grip. "Who? Your wife? I don't know, but we've got a date tomorrow. I could tell her you're—"

O'Mally knocked me upside the head with his open hand. "Cut the crap, Spade."

"Geez Lieutenant, who's got your undies all in a bunch?"

"Where's the girl?"

"Beats me," I said. "She rocked my world, took my piece, and left. But hey, she bought me breakfast. Steak and eggs. Want some?"

"I said, can the crap, Spade."

"I don't know where she went, Lieutenant. But go easy on her, huh? Somebody's made off with her prize kitty cat."

"She really pulled the wool over your eyes, didn't she? Must have been quiet a piece of tail, huh?" O'Malley eyed the rumpled sheets of the big king bed as he needled me. He threw the back of his hand against his forehead and in a falsetto, delivered his impression of what went on last night, "Oh, Sam, take me."

"Maybe I should call down to the department and let them know of your conduct unbecoming an officer?"

"Tell you what. We can all go together. You. Me. And Officer Nelson with his swollen jaw."

"Nelson?" I said. "Bobby Nelson?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I've seen you fight, kid. Light heavyweight champ... when was it?"

"Been a couple years."

O'Malley stepped between us. "Sorry to interrupt old home week, but I've got the mayor breathing down my neck on this exotic animal trafficking case. Even Interpol's in on it. It doesn't look good to the constituents when something this big lingers. So why don't you tell me about your relationship with Lilly Karlsson and where she's gone."

"You don't understand, Lieutenant," I said. "She's mixed up in some stuff, sure. But Miss Andersen, she's the victim here. Somebody's nabbed her cat. She's a dancer. It's part of her act. Don't come down hard on her just because of her line of work."

O'Malley reached into his jacket and pulled a black and white photo from the inside pocket. "This her?" he asked, pushing the photo into my face. "Is this poor little Miss Andersen, who lost her little bitty kitty cat?"

I squinted at the photo. "Besides being a brunette in the picture, I'd say yeah, that's her."

"You really are a sucker for the dames, Spade," grumbled O'Malley. "This is Lilly Karlsson."

"So?"

"So. Lilly Karlsson is the head of an international exotic animal trafficking ring, Spade. The big boss. Head honcho. And she just played you for a sucker."

"Took my piece, too," I said.

"You better hope we find it with her prints on it, Spade."

I was chewing my lip, trying to think of a comeback for that one and coming up empty. Luckily, I was saved by Officer Bobby Nelson, hustling back into the room.

"There's been a shootout uptown, Lieutenant", he said. "Just came over the radio."

"Let me guess," said O'Malley, "A dame with a .45?"

Warehouse District, Uptown, 11:00 a.m.

I missed all the action when the bust went down on account I had to catch a taxi. The cops told me there was no way I was hitching a ride in their squad car. I think Officer Nelson was willing, but O'Malley, probably still peeved about me being mixed up in all this, pulled rank.

So, by the time I got there, Elizabeth Andersen, or Lilly Karlsson, or whoever she was, was being led out in cuffs with big Bobby Nelson right behind her. I'll give her this, though, she held her head high.

"Miss Andersen," I said, as I tipped my hat.

"We could have been great together, Sam."

"Sure, doll. Did you think about that before or after you left me high and dry this morning?"

"Admit it," she said, "I was the best you ever had. You'll never find another girl like me."

"Probably not," I said, "But I've still got your down payment cash and your little toy." I dashed my hand into my pocket to expose just the tip of the strapless so she could see it.

"So I can probably spend a more than a few nights at the InterContinental trying to find out."

"Pig," she spat.

"Goodbye, Miss Karlsson."

No sooner had she passed me by than I heard a low rumbling roar that could only have been Mister Sparkles.

"Hey, Nelson," I hollered. "Get that cat a nice juicy steak and he'll settle right down for you."

"Thanks, Miss Spade. Will do."

Hopper's Diner, 6:10 p.m.

it was raining again. So after an exciting afternoon of filling out paperwork downtown while O'Malley breathed down my neck, I asked the cabbie to drop me at Hopper's Diner instead of the office. I figured I could deal with the rain a whole lot better on a full stomach.

I hung my hat on the rack and moved my eyes to the last empty stool. Ed was there with a cup of joe before my butt even hit the seat. "Thanks," I said.

"Just you tonight, Miss Spade?"

"Just me, Ed."

He nodded. "The usual?"

"Yep," I said. And before he left for the kitchen, I added, "Hey, how's the family? Kids doing alright?"

"You bet, Miss Spade. Mary just got a great offer to study overseas."

"She's your veterinarian, right?"

"That's right." Ed nodded, and started for the kitchen. "Some kind of wildlife refuge. It's all the way in South China, can you believe that, Miss Spade?"

"Big cats? Tigers?"

Ed stopped in his tracks. "As a matter of fact..." he said.

I pulled the wad of cash that was Elizabeth Andersen's, or Lilly Karlsson's, down payment from my jacket pocket and laid it on the counter. "Tell her if she sees a blue one that answers to Mister Sparkles... Tell her to buy him a big juicy steak, will ya?"

Ed looked down at the stack of Franklins sitting on the counter. "I can't take this, Miss Spade."

"It's not from me," I said. "It's from Miss Andersen, my date from the other night. She's a big animal lover. And she'd be right proud of the way your Mary's devoting herself to those cats."

"Well, shucks. Tell her thanks for me, won't you, Miss Spade? And next time you bring her in here I can thank her myself."

"That might not be too soon, Ed. She's going to be away for a while."

Ed reached out and scooped the cash from the counter. "Well, if you see her..."

"Will do, Ed. Will do."