by DreamCloud
This is a start that would prick anyone's curiosity. You really have a way with starting your stories. And your stories are so varied. You are a very good author.
I dont understand Angelica hiring Alia when she was about to leave for good. Angelica might be a evil bitch.
I like the story. Curious as to where this is going, since her choice of staff is obvious.
Interesting start. I love this author's writing style...simple and elegant at the same time.
" When a women is made equal to a man she becomes his superior " -Socrates. This story is getting quite interesting though prince "Nice Guy" has a lot to learn He will have responsibilities and expectations placed on him she will never have to bare. He will get no equality he has mearly given her disproportionate privilege and power to her responsibility. How she uses it and whether he learns what he's done remains to be seen. Bravo on this chapter I look forward to reading this whole story, it was recommended to me by Antiproton the author of A Dragon's Tale, one of my favorite authors on literotica. He claims this is the best Romance story on this web sight. That's high praise from him and I'm curious to see why he believes that.
Lesson one, author: manipulation is NOT romance. The thought that you think it is shows me what little you know of romance. I bet the wimp prince will try to defend the manipulative wench's actions next, without a SINGLE ounce of evidence to back his defence. I bet the author's life on that.
Certainly a good tale so far. Looking forward to find what Angelica has up her sleeve. What secrets will she reveal when both parties tell all. We wonder what plans she has for Alia. Is she cunning, nefarious, malicious? LP
Am reading this story for the second time, and for the pure enjoyment of it as the quality of the writing is so superb. The author in my opinion is one of the several best to have ever written on this site. Unfortunately he was so grievously abused here by having his work stolen by assholes that we readers have lost his talent for our enjoyment. Can only apologize and say thank you for the gems we have been given.
I knew from the getgo that the ending was coming and it was still masterfully brought in. Looking forward to the rest!
I look for the the rest of the chapters.
The dialogue was so easy to hear.
The humour was good.
I liked all the details as well, I could envision the surroundings etc.
You’ve hooked me for the rest of the chapters.
Thank you 👍🏼
Reading this for my 3rd time.... And will continue doing so....
Just began a reading trip through your works and am wonderfully pleased to find this my first novel. I will have great difficulty pausing after each but I will enthusiastically continue.
I am late to discover your stories and already excited to anticipate the journey.
Thank you
Not sure if I'm right or not but will pay attention and see ..LOL R.W.
Wow so many strong comments this is just the first chapter let's see where it goes.
I don't want to read a story about cheating so I'm rooting for Angelica. But you make her sound so bad, and the way things are going I think he's sticking with Alia, but I've lost interest.
I'm not really fond of Alia. Sue me. She seems sweet and all but she doesn't have that thing ya know? For me at least.
I have a feeling that Angelica is a cunning bitch and knew well beforehand that Alia was the prince's love interest. I think she arranged for her to serve at the banquet to turn the knife in the hearts of both Alia and the prince. This is proof by her requesting Alia to stay and be her servant. If this turns out to be the case, I will fast lose interest in the story. I abhor those kinds of plots....where one is so cruel to another. Just once I'd like to see a "Romance" story where royalty wasn't forced to give up their love due to the "common" status of the other person.
why is it people find ripping your heart out for power to be romantic? why is it when royalty has to give up their true love for a made marriage, its considered romantic? where is the romance in killing love? This story might get better, but I hated this chapter.
This first chapter was very good.
I hope the rest of the chapters as in the same line.
5* for you!
Love your work! I have a guess about Angelica. I think that she and Uri are one in the same. I haven't read ahead, just my twisted mind at work. I am interested in how you develop this...
Thank you for making the princess so intelligent, self-respecting, and compassionate. I hope the prince deserves her.
First chapter is so, so good it gives the reader the highest hopes.
Now that I've read to the end, I had to come back and give every chapter the five stars this story deserves...
At this point it's hard to tell if I'll like the story or not. It's well written and the characters are somewhat engaging, but the potential for "suck" is clearly there. I can't help wonder why Angelica wants the Prince's lover around.
If the princess has a lover she wants to keep, or worse yet, her lover is her brother (who notably didn't come along) and she wants the prince to keep that secret, it isn't likely to get a good rating from me.
The seemingly Medieval setting and story revolving around royalty comes with a set of assumptions about social mores. If the setting is different from common assumptions then a bit of warning is in order. If not, then the princess not being a virgin or having sex with any male other than the prince should cause big problems.
So again I'm late to the party. This is a great story! I would expect no less.Now to devour the rest of the series.
I gave it a 5
Maybe it's because I'm reading them one after the other, but this reminds me a bit of Tony155's "In the Year of Our Lord, 1684". The plots are different, of course, but tiny details seem similar: medieval setting, black stallion named Storm, prince marries red-haired princess, etc.
I'm curious about Angelica's secret. The romantic in me hopes that she's lesbian or bisexual. It would partially explain her tomboy'ism (riding, military strategy, wanting to be more than a figurehead) beyond just being the prototypical "strong woman" and would allow for a clean happily-ever-after. The other obvious idea would be a relationship with her brother (if he even exists? Is he a role she plays for the sake of her kingdom? I could see that twist...) which would be harder to manage into a satisfying conclusion.
Either way, I really enjoyed the first chapter and just wanted to get this into words before I continue with the rest of your story. Thanks for sharing!
I nearly didn't read this due to the nature of the story. Arranged marriage is distasteful to me, particularly a politically arranged marriage. I only read it because of the excellence of your writing in your other stories, and I had confidence you would not disappoint to terribly with this.
You have done an excellent job in setting the stage. Your end to chapter 1 did not disappoint, and now I shall have to continue, whether I care for the subject matter or not. Well done, sir! The requisite five stars have been awarded as they were earned.
DC, this story is so much better than this site. I can't even think of a place online it is worthy of. Print comes to mind but that's so 20th Century.
This is Brilliant!
The Princess promotes more enthusiasm than the Prince, Perhaps because we know his secret but not hers. If it is her brother as suggested than the balance will suddenly go the other way. Her decision to keep his ex close could have many interpretations. Maybe she likes to sport with women while more than happy to do her reproductive duty. Though in a Medieval type situation she would be at great risk in child birth.
DC, Some authors end a chapter with a "cliffhanger". Some present it as an "appetizer". You have succeeded with both. I await the next course.
I wouldn't want to square off against Angelica in a battle of wits. She is one shrewd lady. I can't help but wonder if her brother isn't around for the same reason Cayden doesn't want Alia around. Can't wait to see this unfold. Great job.
I'm awaiting the next chapter with bated breath...
Oh, this is wonderful so far. What a great story. Thank you, Dreamcloud, you never disappoint.
As always with your writing! The 'H's will be well deserved! Thanks for setting the mood perfectly with this opening chapter. Can't wait for the next!