The Misadventures of Katie Lynn

Her name was Katie Lynn; most versions of the story agreed on that. Where she lived, when she was born, and the minute details of her stories vary from one storyteller to another. She was the subject of locker room tales, bar room boasts, and lewd antidotes shared at gatherings where ladies were out of earshot. Some men claimed to have known her personally, but usually, it was a friend of a friend to have witnessed the events of the story, who had then passed the tale on to others to enjoy.

By most accounts, Katie Lynn was blonde, both in hair color and in personality. She was a tall, tight-bottomed, 36-24-36 bombshell with legs for days by most accounts, though some storytellers suggest her breasts were bigger. She was an ingenue, otherwise known as a girl with minimal sophistication but a heart of gold. She was the type of girl who would give a friend the shirt off her back, and if the tales were true, she often did. That was the crutch of all of her stories. Katie Lynn was a girl who by her own fault or not, was always shedding her clothes.

Some claim she craved the attention she gained from her nude adventures, others claimed she was far too naive to even be aware of the titillation her body caused men. Some even claimed Katie Lynn was a gift from the gods, a present to human men, particularly those men unlucky enough to have never had the privilege of seeing a girl of Katie Lynn's beauty without clothing.

In any case, nudity was always the central theme of every Katie Lynn story. How and why her clothing came off was at the whim of the storyteller, but the consistent feature of every story was a cute babe making an unfortunate mistake, leaving her stark naked with at least one unintended witness- usually a man.

What follows here are six of Katie Lynn's most prolific embarrassments. These tales have been passed on for many years, some silly, some sexy, but all are told in good fun. They are compiled here in an order that best reflects a sense of chronology, but Katie Lynn stories are not intended to feature any form of arcing story. Each of these chapters should be able to stand on its own as a tale featuring a few laughs, a few lessons, and always a very embarrassed naked girl.

1) The Laundromat

Katie Lynn entered the laundromat on a Saturday afternoon with a bright smile across her face. She had her purse around her shoulder and a basket of laundry against her hip as she made her way through the facility searching for an available machine. She caught the eye of several laundry patrons, whose eyes wandered down from her shoulder-length blonde hair to her curvy young body.

She wore a tight green dress, which stopped at about mid-thigh displaying her shapely legs. The day manager, Johnny O'Dell, tried not to stare as the young beauty walked past his desk.

When she'd chosen an available machine, Katie Lynn stared quizzically at the machine's instructions for several minutes, and appeared to be pressing some of the buttons at random.

"Excuse me?" Johnny said, having finally worked up the courage to approach her. "You seem to be having a little trouble. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Oh!" she said with a startled laugh. "It's my first time doing laundry out on my own. I'm trying to figure out how you open the darn things!"

"You've got to insert your coins first," Johnny explained. "Slide fifty cents into the slot, and the door will pop right open."

"Is THAT what you do?" Katie Lynn said in surprise. "Well let me try that!"

She gleefully drew two quarters from her purse and slipped them into the coin slot. To her delight, the washing machine door opened with a twist of the knob.

"Thanks so much!" she said.

"No problem!" Johnny said. He turned around, and stopped. "Hey, do you go to Blessed Saints Academy?"

"I just started there! I'm hoping to move into the campus dorms next semester!" She brushed her fingers through her hair.

"I thought you looked familiar. I'm Johnny O'Dell. I think we've got a few classes together."

Katie Lynn winced, and cocked her head.

"You DO look familiar! It's so nice to meet you, Johnny!"

She shook his hand.

"Well, I think I've got it from here. Thanks!" she said.

"Sure, I'll be at the desk if you need any more help," Johnny said.

Johnny sat back down at his desk and discretely watched the attractive blonde fill the washer with her clothes. When her basket was emptied, she peered around inquisitively for a minute, before approaching the desk.

"One more question," she began with an embarrassed laugh. "Where is the soap?"

"Oh, usually guests bring their own. But if you didn't bring any, we sell it here."

"Gosh, I'm such a dope. All right, I'll buy a pack."

She took some money out of her purse and bought a three-pack of detergent pods.

"Sorry, I'd spot you, but my dad is a real hard-nose about this," Johnny said.

"I understand. My dad is pretty strict too!"

Katie Lynn took the laundry pods and carried them back to her washer. She stared inside for a half minute, and returned to the desk.

"Last question, I promise!" she said.

"It's no trouble!" Johnny said.

"Where do you put the soap?" she asked.

"This kind you can just throw in there with your clothes. That's it!"

"That's what I thought! I just wanted to be sure! Thank you so much! I won't bother you again!"

"It's no trouble! Really!" he assured her.

He stole a quick glance at her butt as she scurried back to her machine, and tossed the laundry pod inside. After shutting the door, and adjusting the settings, a light above the washer switched on and the machine began to whir. As the laundry cycle commenced, Katie Lynn peered at the instructions above the washer. Confused, she read them again.

She finally shrugged and sat down on one of the benches, crossed her legs, and took out a book to read.

She sat for the next half hour, looking up every few minutes to glance at the light on the washer to confirm it was still lit. Johnny glanced up at her every minute, hoping she might return the the front desk to ask him another question. So far, she seemed entranced by her book.

After the cycle finished, the light switched off, and Katie Lynn set her book aside. Johnny was in the midst of helping another customer when he heard some laughter coming from the far end of the laundromat. A few gasps followed, when Johnny spotted what was causing the commotion among the laundromat customers.

Katie Lynn was standing in front of her washer completely naked.

He green dress, bra, and panties lay on the nearby bench, while Katie Lynn stared at the unmoving washer, confused.

Cautiously, Johnny approached the nude blonde, and stopped several feet away as soon as he had her attention.

"Um, Katie Lynn? Is everything... all right?"

She turned to look at him. He nearly flinched at the sight of her large naked breasts as she turned to him.

"I'm just so CONFUSED!" she said with frustration. "The instructions said to remove your clothes when the light goes out. I did, and nothing's happening!"

The laundromat erupted in laughter. Katie Lynn looked around at the laughing customers around her, and grew even more puzzled.

Johnny bit his lip trying to suppress laughter of his own and said, "Katie Lynn, you're supposed to remove your clothes from the washing machine. Not your..." he bit down on his tongue to keep his voice from breaking into laughter, "not the clothes on your body!"

Realization hit Katie Lynn like a truck.

"Oh my GOSH! I'm so... I'm so STUPID!"

The laundromat customers laughed even louder as the nude blonde's face went beet red, and she frantically put her clothes back on.

2) The Blind Man

Sister Mary Margaret set two buckets of paint onto the hard wooden floor with an angry thud. She glared at the two girls in front of her. Katie Lynn and her best friend, Tammy Sue, meekly looked back at the fuming nun.

"We're sorry, Sister Mary Margaret," Katie Lynn said.

"You have six hours to get this room painted. If you're not finished when I return, you'll be back next Saturday to to finish the job. I don't care how long it takes."

Katie Lynn and Tammy Sue slunk their heads. They weren't the only two girls to use profane language in the halls of Blessed Saints Academy, but they were among the few who'd been caught. It was Tammy Sue who had referred to one of her teachers as the b-word, and while Katie Lynn hadn't used any profanity herself, she hadn't disagreed. Their conversation had been overheard by none other than Headmaster Matheson. He'd been coming up the stairwell as the two gossiping girls were on their way down and he'd given them both a detention on the spot.

Now was the day of their punishment. The two coeds were instructed to paint the interior of the newly renovated counselor's office. A rotten way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

"And you'd better not get any paint on your uniforms!" the sister said as she stormed out of the office. "The cleaning bill will come out of your tuition! Not one drop!"

The nun slammed the office door and the girls listened as she trotted away.

"Crabby old bat!" Tammy Sue taunted. "I'm not sorry at all."

Katie Lynn scanned the entire room hopelessly.

"How are we going to keep paint from getting on our uniforms? She didn't even give us smocks!" the blonde bemoaned.

Tammy Sue grinned.

"Maybe... we should take them off?" the giggling brunette suggested.

"Take them off? And paint naked?"

"Why not? Sister Mary Margaret won't be back for six hours. We'll just lock the doors in case any delivery guys come by."

Katie Lynn thought about this.

"Well, it will be awfully hard to keep our uniforms clean..."

"Exactly!" Tammy Sue began unbuttoning her dress shirt.

Feeling comfortable knowing it would be just the two girls in there the entire day, Katie Lynn slipped out of her uniform as well. Once they had removed their uniforms as well as their undergarments, the girls took up the provided brushes and began painting the newly installed drywall in the nude.

Painting was tedious work, but the joking between them and the knowledge that their naughty choice of dress would not be approved of made the ordeal far less wearisome.

"So, I heard Johnny O'Dell likes you!" Tammy Sue teased.

"Does he really?" Katie Lynn asked.

"I heard, he's planning to ask you to the Spring Fling!" She swirled her brush around in circles on the wall.

"Who told you that?"

"Doesn't matter. If he asks you, will you say yes?"

Katie Lynn looked at the floor.

"Maybe."

"By maybe, you mean yes?" Tammy Lynn asked, excitedly.

"I mean maybe!" Katie Lynn declared.

They continued giggling, and managed to do a little painting as well in between their joking and gossiping for the next two hours. Katie Lynn was in the midst of putting the finishing touches on a door frame when Tammy Sue sneaked up behind her and tapped her paint brush onto the blonde's naked rear end.

"You're it!" Tammy Sue squealed, and ran away.

"Hey!" Katie Lynn yelped. She chased after her friend, following her into the neighboring room, and tapped her brush onto the brunette's backside. "You're it!"

Tammy Sue shrieked loudly.

"No, you're it!" She lightly slapped her brush across the side of Katie Lynn's left breast.

"You're gonna get it now!" Katie Lynn hollered, and scampered after her fleeing friend.

The two naked girls took turns tagging each other with their paint brushes and batting around each other's breasts until their tits had more paint on them than the walls. When their youthful exuberance had finally calmed, the coeds looked at each other's paint-splattered bodies.

"We should really clean up," Katie Lynn said.

"There's a sink in the back," her friend said.

Katie Lynn soaked a paper towel in water and wiped the paint from her body. After she was mostly cleaned, she handed the roll of towels to Tammy Sue, when she heard a knock at the door.

The two girls stared at each other in fear.

"Go see who it is!" Tammy Sue whispered.

Being as Katie Lynn was the cleaner of the two girls, she grabbed her uniform and carried it to the doorway.

"Who is it?" she called out, placing her clothes on the floor and searching for her undergarments.

"Blind man!" a voice behind the door said.

Katie Lynn stopped. The man knocked again.

"Hello?" he called out.

Katie Lynn peeked out the window and saw a man wearing sunglasses holding a package.

"Who is it?" Tammy Sue shouted, wiping a paper towel between her breasts.

"A blind man," Katie Lynn said. "Well, no need to keep him waiting if he can't see us."

Katie Lynn left her clothes on the floor, and opened the door, wearing nothing but faint steaks of paint across her nude body.

"Wow!" the man said, lowering his sunglasses.

"You're not blind!" Katie Lynn said angrily.

"Thank God," the man said. "You got great tits. So, where do you want these blinds?"

3) The Dare

"Truth," Tammy Sue said.

The pajama-clad coeds squealed and huddled around to hear a revelation about their friend.

"If you had to make out with someone here, who would it be?" Amy Jo asked.

"Hmmm," Tammy Sue said, tapping her chin. She looked at the six young ladies seated around her. They were sprawled on the floor of Amy Jo's apartment living room. It was well past midnight, but the girls expected to be awake for most of the night.

"I'd pick... Katie Lynn!"

The girls squealed and Katie Lynn blushed. Once again, she'd been made the center of attention at the party, and it wasn't even her turn. She'd already been teased mercilessly when she'd confessed to have never had sex.

Tammy Sue grabbed the bottle of Malibu and spun it upon the plate on the floor. When it came to a stop, the mouth of the bottle faced Carrie Anne.

"It's Carrie Anne!" Tammy Sue declared. "Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Promise, or Repeat?"

The pig-tailed brunette pondered her options.

"I pick... Repeat!" she said.

Tammy Sue laughed to herself, and sat directly in front of her friend, so the girls were face-to-face.

"Okay, Repeat after me. I..."

"I..." Carrie Anne repeated.

"Want..." Tammy Sue continued.

"Want..."

"To lick..."

Carrie Anne's face broke in to a smile, but her resolve did not waver.

"To lick..." she repeated.

"I want to lick an old man's butt," Tammy Sue blurted out.

"I want to lick an old-" Carrie Anne burst into laughter before she could finish her sentence. The other girls rolled onto their sides laughing hysterically.

"You lose! Take a drink!" Tammy Sue said. She handed Carrie Anne the Malibu bottle and the giggling coed took a swig. She winced. She was not used to drinking alcohol. She placed the bottle back onto the plate and gave it a spin. It stopped when the mouth was aimed at Molly Kate.

"Bring it on, girls! I'm not scared!" Molly Kate said, leaning back and stretching her legs confidently.

"Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Promise, or Repeat?" Tammy Sue asked.

The devil danced in Molly Kate's eyes as she answered with a definitive, "Dare."

"Dare?" Mary Lou exclaimed. "You haven't had a drink all evening! Hey, Tammy Sue, come up with a Dare Molly Kate won't do!"

The other girls agreed with Mary Lou, and urged Tammy Sue to comply.

"A Dare Molly Kate won't do?" Tammy Sue said, rubbing her palms together. "How about this: I Dare you to walk outside in just your bra and panties, and run across the street!"

Molly Kate arched her eyebrows.

"Is that the best you can do?"

The girls squealed even louder as Molly Kate climbed to her feet and wriggled out of her pink jammies.

"Wooo!" Tammy Sue cheered upon seeing the sexy sorority girl in her undergarments.

Molly Kate hurried to the door, and without a second of hesitation, walked outside into the hallway. The other girls ran to the window to watch down below.

Molly Kate did not disappoint. Only a minute later, she emerged from the front entrance of the apartment building, still clad in nothing but her underwear. She glanced up at the window and blew a kiss to her friends.

"Here I go!" she called.

The girls cheered her on as the scantily-clad girl pranced down the sidewalk and scurried across the street. She tapped a stop sign with her hand and hurried back. To her good fortune, no cars had driven by. Katie Lynn cringed at the thought that someone might see poor Molly Kate in her unmentionables and embarrass the poor girl.

Molly Kate was positively glowing when she returned to the apartment. She had a big smile and didn't even put her pajamas back on. Instead, she plopped her butt down upon the carpet and gave the bottle a spin.

Around and around the bottle spun, as did Katie Lynn's head, being as she'd had to take a few drinks from it to avoid the awful Dares her friends had put her up to.

When the bottle finally stopped, the bottle aimed at her once again.

"All right, Katie Lynn!" Molly Kate cheered. "Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Promise or Repeat?"

Katie Lynn weighed her options. She's already decided that Dares were out of the question. She did not want to reveal any more embarrassing secrets either, after being humiliated when she confessed her lack of sexual experience, and she declined to answer when Amy Jo demanded to know if she held a torch for Johnny O'Dell. She ended up having to take a drink for not answering, and the girls all knew she'd been crushing on him anyway.

She finally answered, "Promise."

"Promise, okay, what can we make Katie Lynn promise?" Molly Kate asked. "How about, I want you to Promise that you'll lose your virginity before graduation?"

"Woooo!" the girls cheered.

"But, my parents--"

"Promise! Promise! Promise!" the girls chanted.

"Okay, okay, I Promise!" Katie Lynn said.

The girls cheered loudly.

"All right, Johnny O'Dell is getting lucky!" Amy Jo teased.

"He might not!" Katie Lynn protested.

The girls laughed. Katie Lynn folded her arms and sulked.

"Spin again!" Tammy Sue said.

Katie Lynn spun the bottle, and as luck would have it, it aimed at her again.

"Promise," she said without hesitation.

"Promise again?" Molly Kate said, mockingly. "Okay I want you to Promise that if the bottle chooses you again, you'll choose Double Dare. And that you'll actually do the dare this time!"

"Oh no..." Katie Lynn said, burying her face in her hands. "Okay, okay, I Promise."

"Yaaaaay!" the girls squealed in approval.

Katie Lynn spun the bottle again. She crossed both of her fingers and prayed, and to her fortune, the bottle stopped on Lily Jane.

"Okay! Lily Jane! Truth, Dare, Double Dare, Promise or Repeat?" Katie Lynn asked.

"Truth," the saucy redhead said coolly.

"Okay, um, how many boys have you kissed?" Katie Lynn asked.

Lily Jane shrugged.

"I have no idea. I lost count."

"Really?" Katie Lynn asked, surprised.

"That's the Truth."

The other girls were convinced. Feeling foolish, Katie Lynn sat back.

Lily Jane spun the bottle, and it stopped on Amy Jo. Lily Jane smiled.

"Truth," Amy Jo said.

Lily Jane leaned towards the party host.

"The Truth," Lily Jane said. "Tell me the names of every guy you've slept with, in order of penis size."

The girls shrieked loudly. Amy Jo bit her lip and began silently counting on her fingers while looking up at the ceiling.

"Okay, smallest to largest," Amy Jo began, her thoughts in order.

The other girls, Katie Lynn included, leaned in closely.

"Roy Davis... Mike Beavers.... Dalton Miller.... Jeremy McCullough..... Steve Williams."

The girls giggled.

"Jason Hicks," she continued, and the girls laughed at the sudden addition. "Shawn Wells."

She took a breath.

"And Robbie O'Rourke."

The girls burst out laughing.