All Comments on 'The Moment of Realisation'

Darkness per se not a problem for me and this piece has so much potential to explore your characters and abusive relationships. Liked the intention, but several aspects/elements undermine for me: Initial setting scene for the anonymous girlfriend’s worthlessness overdone/repetitive (though like anonymity — consistent with her role/outcome), Stella and Avery almost caricatures and scene where Avery appears overdramatized and hypnotic dehumanizing of anonymous girlfriend bit much. That said, maybe I am overthinking a short piece where you simply wanted to create hyperbole/something akin to characterizing evilness — certainly achieved that.

This isn’t dark, it’s dumb.

That many people and you think no one will call the cops? Not one person would question what the hell is going on? And what about their family or friends, no one questioned what was going to happen? And what does the girlfriend get out of it if she’s so brainwashed she doesn’t even know what’s happening? That she doesn’t even see her ex as brainwashed and enslaved.

It’s. Just. Dumb.