All Comments on 'The Monster Pt. 04'

Awsome !! like that you are not rushing things! Stories get better if you take your time!

stopped reading at 16 ins cock ...

I also like the slow building....

This whole "scared of girls" thing had gotten really old after 4 chapters.

I like...it has potential...I’m curious as to where you’re going with this...it’s slow but the momentum is ok...hope you’re plans are to build it up. How is Sara doin ?

Too long winded, same old stuff page after page and not leading anywhere!

this is one slow story

Keep doing what you are doing. This story is exciting. 5 stars

What a person can't have makes it more desirable

I have read the four chapters but you have to get to the action pretty soon, it is like waiting for the paint to dry.

Getting little tired of the freak outs. Family keep doing things with him and then they all freak out a few minutes later. Only so many times they can be physical and act like they didn’t mean to.

It's fine having naive characters, but it gets to the point of mental disability when they're this naive, it's getting very old very fast.

Rode, not road. If you don’t know the difference, you shouldn’t be writing.

I am enjoying how you’re developing the story. Mine are typically way more rushed. Good story.

His sister obviously has brain damage cause by being a selfish whore. Maybe too many head bumps against the headboard.

I like the build up, but you write Jack like he's mentally impaired, not innocent. Even an innocent would at least remain pissed off when someone's been a total bitch to him literally his entire life.

Yeah I agree with a comment from ch3 all these women are hoes except for his momma lmao I feel bad bro ain’t got no virgin pussy

Really can't read any more of this, grammar and verbiage is to bad to make any since of it. 1 star to all. get an editor before you publish anything else. A word processor of any kind has a grammar check I suggest you use it.