All Comments on 'The Monster Within Ch. 02'

I'm really enjoying this story .. can't wait to see where this goes. BTW, If you hadn't already mentioned it, I would've never guessed English is not your first language.

I really found this story very interesting, in fact, I interrupted reading this chapter to read the first and correctly understand the story.

I am a lover of dogs, although I can not have them since my wife and son are allergic to dogs and cats, besides living in a city apartment, no space to have dogs properly (it is a crime to have a dog locked up Inside a home, they need a lot of space to exercise and be healthy).

Obviously, English is not my first language, although I speak it as well as French, Italian, Spanish, some Portuguese, Danish, Finnish, Swedish and some German and Japanese words (I have Japanese family and my parents had friends in Germany , France, USA and UK).

That's why I admire people who can write in a language other than their own.

Going back to the story, I like the plot, slow and intense development, with a part of dark drama with some hidden secret. Really interesting.

The only thing I can criticize is that in this chapter, Stan has yielded to sexual impulses with Bev too easily, after everything discussed in Chapter 1 (the memory of Sara and the twins, the feeling of guilt, and what I suppose Which should have been his violent reaction against those guilty of these deaths). I do not know, maybe the sex should have waited for Chapter 3, but this is my humble opinion.

5 * for you anyway.

I also want to express my condolences to all the victims and relatives of the tragic events at the Manchester Arena.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

I submitted chapter 3 directly after chapter 2 was published, well in advance to your most welcome comment. Please let me know what you think of it. I am, among other things of course, addressing the point you mentioned.

The funny thing I encountered when writing this story was that I sometimes didn't know myself what exactly was going to happen. I didn't see that shower scene coming. Honestly. I intended to send them off to Bev's flat when suddenly she kissed him and took him to the shower. It seemed to be the development the story wanted so I just went on.

I don't know if a reader can understand this, but sometimes a story has it's own will and the author just writes down the words.

Firstly, to Kojac01: Thank you for your great work. Can't wait to read the follow up chapters and also any new work you have... if they're anything like this I know they're going to be great.

If you need an editor let me know, there are a few words here and there that could be altered but other than that your English is great.

To TheOldRomantic: When my girlfriend passed away following a brain tumour fifteen years ago I was devastated. I never looked at another woman or even notioned the idea of being with anyone else for several years. That was of course until the day I met my current partner ten years ago. Sometimes it just clicks when you meet that special person and there's nothing you can do about it. It was literally like someone flipped a switch the day she walked into my life.

If, indeed, when you write a story, you do not always know exactly how it will go. Many times, words flow in a way that is not what we had imagined at first, but it seems that the story we are writing demands so. Obviously, you can not write to the liking of all readers, there will always be parts of the story that are favorites and other parts not so much, but that does not mean they are wrong, simply, personal tastes are so varied that it is impossible to please everyone ...

I appreciate that the author has dedicated part of his time to answer my comment, it means a lot to me.

I hope the third chapter is as good as the previous ones, if not better.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

I agree with your comment, but I did not mean that exactly.

My reference was that Stan rejects all kinds of social relationships (especially sexual relations) because of his pain, and the next day he goes to bed with Bev, without hesitation or remorse, at least for the moment.

It is not a question of simply clicking (I clicked with my wife when I met her three days after my supposed girlfriend cheated on me with another boy, but we did not have sex until months later, although it was true that we lived in different cities, More than 450 miles apart). It is not exactly the same case as yours, but it serves to explain my point of view, sex, for me, is the complement of a relationship, not the basis of that relationship. Relationships should be based (in my opinion) on respect, understanding, communication, sharing of tasks, etc. If we add to it a good sexual relationship, the possibility of success of the relationship is incredibly high.

Thank you for taking the time to answer my comment.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

The honour is mine @TheOldRomantic. It is extremely satisfying to receive feedback through the comment section.

And to see readers discuss the story is a feeling I could easily get addicted to...

Over thinking has been a plot element in several of the better stories on the site. An example of this occurs in the story of the brother and sister trying to reconcile their strong romantic attachment in "Kiss Me Cate" as an example. Over thinking results when a person does not have the confidence to move forward in a situation that requires confidence in dealing with imagined intentions in a lover, friend, mate or even an enemy. They imagine all kinds of reasons the other person might have for some action that they have just performed. All of this confusion results in a lack of any reaction at all on the part of the over thinker. Normally in life 90% of the actions that could be taken are better than no action. Stan is suffering from this now. I will be interested in how Kojak01 will resolve this. Beverly is an excellent character to use to pull out the causes of the sense of failure that Stan has internalized that will allow him to react automatically based on best available evidence without fear of failure.

Both the story and the comments. 5 stars.

The grammar in this is awful.

Please check out the meaning of the adjectives you use, before using them. Some are quite ridiculous and some hilarious! Your lack of familiarity with the English language is obvious. Nothing in this Chapter aids the advancement of the plot. It just concentrates on sex episodes. 4*s.

The story has been enjoyable and I have liked how things have been going. Grammer glitches just make it fun to read. Since you said to begin with that English is not your first language.

I gave 5 stars to both chapters so far.