All Comments on 'The Mother in Law'

You've got a good setup, but there's not a lot to the characterization, and your sentences/paragraphs are choppy. Aside from typical grammar errors, it's a good idea to separate your common thoughts and actions into paragraphs; this makes the story easier to read.

Otherwise, it was a good, quick read. Not the hottest I've seen, but pretty damn good.

I liked it, easy to read and follow.

But it needs more details. Also, needs better punctuation. Remember a comma is used for a short pause.

I really didn't care for the story...and since when can a BOSS put a second mortgage on an EMPLOYEE'S home? He wouldn't have the legal right.

I guess you will get better as time goes by, just control your grammar a bit better, and the mortgage bit was off the wall totally, other than that, keep going, nobody was born an old master. Thanks for trying.

really nice wish my mother in law was that hot