All Comments on 'The Neighborhood'

This had the makings of a winning story but you rushed it. You never really explored the characters of the cheating spouses. You could have gotten the cheating wife's perspective. Then you could have explored the aftermath and consequences. Good STORY, great plot, good writing, but you blew it.

Decent story but the ending seemed a little rushed.

Who wants to read about cheating and breaking up marriages?

You never finish a story.

Too short, was going well then there last page just feels like it's not been finished. Finish properly and it will be much better.

That's a pretty hard pill to swallow.

She was another man's slut for his entire life. He'll grow up knowing what a whore his mother was, and continued to be. He can't help but love the man that raised him, and hate the man that tossed him aside like leftovers. Even if the mother was sorry she got caught, sorry she's embarrassed him greatly, sorry she disrespected their family for decades....even with all that being sorry hypothetically speaking....how does it ever become 'good' again?

At best I can see the son having a touch-and-go/ rocky relationship with his mother.

I love my own mom, and I'd punch anyone that talked bad about her. But if my mother hurt my father that badly, and disrespected me like that....I'd still punch anyone that talked bad about her. But that doesn't mean she'd be in my good books. She'd be as close to a 'person non-grata' you can get while still being loved. It'd be an awful strained relationship. I can't possibly imagine them ever being 'good' again. Manageable maybe.

Although i found the dialogue to be terrible. Like people talking for the sake of a third party's understanding. People simply dont talk that descriptely with other people that know the history.

Thanks for writing

dull

you have the guy needlessly waiting weeks to dump the slut, why?

why stretch out that part of the story and list the whore's laments in less than three sentences?

Not enough detail should have been developed better.

I suspect that your style is short stories with a brisk ending.

You might rack up another few hundred from readers asking you to finish developing your characters but soon some including myself will just stop reading. Of course these are free stories that you give us so perhaps you really don't care.

Not a bad tale of betrayal. But 26 years of cheating? How did he and Karen miss the signs for all those years? The part I missed was the verbal confrontation and aftermath. Yes he punches Bill in the nose (BTW why wasn't he arrested for assault?) and throws Jan out of the house, but that was it for confrontation. Just another aside - they have zero grounds for restraining orders. Who got the houses or were they sold to meet the divorce stipulations? Anyone get alimony? Why would Ken suddenly have a good relationship with his Mother? Lots of information was missing. But that's strictly my point of view. Thanks for the effort.

U write well and keep the readers engrossed...comparing it to a sex act I would say u romance well...u build up the seduction well...but some how u don’t finish giving your partner pleasure...u ejaculate prematurely...none of the two stories had endings worth the read...both felt unfinished ...begging a part two...it’s almost like as u come to the end of the writing you have no clue what to do further....ur endings are wimpy and insipid...leaves an unpalatable taste in the readers mouth...

Maybe some introspection will help..

Why did she do what she did for so long ? These questions need to be analysed...women are not some sort of slut ray effected persons that thy will have a good marriage for 26 years and have an itch that they scratch for the same period on the side..also the main character just did not make the ending sweeter...to laid back an end..could hve been oodles better! 3 for the effort

Another good story from a very promising author. The popularity and convenience of Ancestry testing seems to have caught more than a few cheaters. I like your having the betrayed spouses waiting for the cheating pair to come down stairs and confronting them. I especially liked Bill getting his face broken.

Thanks, KC, very enjoyable. Here is a coincidence; I suggested that very plot to another Literotica author just a week or so ago.

And the ending was rushed.

Needs a part two

I usually don't like these kind of stories but you did a very good job.

The first half of your story was intriguing, the second half was choppy, perhaps rushed. The story didn't flow in the second half, it felt like a roughly filled out outline.

normally I would give your story 3*, As it felt unfinished and rushed at the end. I liked it, but it was nothing that really stood out. But since it wasn't a cuck or swinger story, I gave 1 extra *. So 4*.

When two people cheat for 25 years, there should be a reason for that. The story did not develop anything, and all we have is the fact of cheating. There is also no indication as to whether Bill and Karen had children, which would be then half-siblings to Ken. In short, it is a short story, and so there is just so much that can be fitted in. But, end result is that it is a wasted two pages, because you end up with a well-written story about nothing.

These stories make it seem so easy to get a Restraining Order. I'm far from a legal expert, but don't you have to have SOME sort of evidence to get one?

I agree that the ending needed "more."

Why wasn't he arrested for assault? Actually. it would be Assault and Battery, and I guess it could be, but under the circumstances I doubt many DAs would care to prosecute, or that any judge would give more than a slap on the wrist sentence.

I just looked at your other stories, and weak endings seem to be a habit. You may want to get a Beta reader.

A well written story but you cropped the ending leaving so many unanswered questions. Why have an affair for over 20, the cheaters lived together for a while why did they split??

Once again, a nice story with a good premise. Well written, but no ending.

. . . that's something that can be understood with little or no explanation. A 26-year-long affair? Why did they keep it going for so long?

Part of the attraction of an affair is its newness and naughtiness, but the newness and naughtiness are going to wear off long before 26 years have passed, especially when they get together that frequently and often in one another's homes. At that point, it's simply a second marriage: Bill and Jan are as used to each other as they are to their legal spouses.

The only reason that I can see for such a long affair, but one which never changes to them divorcing their spouses and getting together for real, is that Bill is a lot better in bed than Tom in bed, and Jan was a lot better than Karen. That's never mentioned, but Tom and Karen have to know that they're kind of dead fucks.

I can easily see a once-or-twice a year affair going undiscovered, but as frequently as Bill and Jan were getting together, every year for 26 years, and no one else had a clue? Bill and Jan were also a lot smarter than Tom and Karen, and really, Tom and Karen were pretty much as dumb as a box of rocks not to have picked up on it for that long. At least Tom's son had the chance to inherit Bill's brains, because there wasn't much there to get from Tom!

Of course, Tom's low intelligence explains why he wasn't interested in why the affair had gone on for so long. After 26 years, you'd think that a man with some intelligence would be asking why this had happened, you'd think that Karen would want to know as well, but neither expressed any interest in knowing, and they both had their spouses thrown out without ever asking a question.

How did Tom and Karen get restraining orders throwing Bill and Jan out of their respective houses without some credible allegations of physical threats or imminent danger? After all, the houses were half theirs, and the courts are going to need some reason and evidence to grant such; the divorce attorney cannot issue such on her own, but needs a judge to sign off on them. More, removing Bill and Jan from their houses, absent a physically dangerous situation, allows Tom and Karen unfettered access to the community property, and the opportunity to engage in financial mischief which could have an impact on divorce proceedings.

These home DNA tests from ancestry.com and the like aren't there to determine paternity. Rather, they look at mitochondrial DNA to try to determine from what ethnic groups one's ancestors came, and they aren't things that Jan should have feared, not if Tom wasn't getting one for himself. The DNA tests to determine paternity have to be done specifically for that purpose, which Tom said he had done, but such do not come from the typical advertised services.

The story was done first person from Tom's perspective, but it is never made clear: how did Tom fall so out of love, so quickly, with Jan, without some exploration of his feelings?

5* from me.

At least come up with something original. This same exact premise with the DNA testing and it being a husband's friend has been done to death.

I liked it. What did spouses do before DNA testing? The story was told well and we learned all we needed about the cheaters. May they disappear into the murky deep.

Good setup. Waiting for the rest of the story.

Lets get this straight, she has every right to be in the house unless he can prove that it was acquired prior to his marriage AND she is not on the deed. If she is, she has as much right as he does. Second, without a pattern of physical violence by her against him in which there is actual evidence, then there will be no restraining order - period. Finally, there is no chance that he would not be arrested for assault, charges may not be brought, but if Bill was taken to a medical facility they would have to report the attack to the police and believe me, given everything they would know it was an assault. Hubby would be arrested and if a restraining order was to be issued it would be against him. He would certainly spend the night in jail regardless of what the witnesses said happened, he would have an injured hand and Bill would have serious injuries. Given he was a gym rat, it is likely he would be held until a bail hearing because he might well be considered a physical threat either to Bill (clearly) or his wife (potentially). Also, whether he pressed criminal charges (why not) Bill would clearly have an open and shut case civil case worth hundreds of thousands. Bill would be advised to wait until after the divorce so he would not have to share with his wife. Certainly enough to bank roll a new life in another state. (I got my client punitive and compensatory damages of just under a million AND full plastic surgery as part of the settlement, he look better than I did before, doing much better with the ladies I hear as well.)

These stories that portray decades of deceit and duplicity by a spouse always strike me as dubious. That level of sociopathy would impact the entirety of the adulterous person's life. Even if the fathful spouse is somehow oblivious to the true character of their mate, the audulterer's selfishness and lack of empathy would over time be clear to other family members, friends, coworkers and neighbors. There would be a long history of betrayals in multiple spheres of life that led to the breaking of relationships. They would not be seen as a good person.

Infidelity does not happen in a bubble. The self image, feelings, beliefs and precepts that allow someone to violate the trust of the person closest to them also govern their interactions with others.

You missed a whole portion of the plot. Real revenge would’ve been a lawsuit immediately against Bill for the cost of raising the child.

Another revenge on the wife, would’ve been to burn and destroy every marital picture license everything as she was walking down the stairs it could’ve been burning in the fireplace

Just a thought

Missing a lot about the confrontation. He doesn't bring up the 26 years and Bill implied that there were other men as well, I think. And the Son is OK with his mother knowing her character? I understand that is his mother but how can he as an adult have any respect for her after the lie for so long.

finished. Needs a sequel. Two ⭐️ for the effort and rushed ending.

Granted, it's only based on two stories, but in both cases you spend a lot of time building up what the wife is doing, but as soon as it's the point where the ramifications are due, you cut to the end. I mean, 26 years she was cheating on him and all we get is, "no, this can't be happening".

<P>

And, yet again, when one paragraph ends with a quotation mark and the very next one starts with a mark, that indicates the character speaking has changed. When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark. Hell, I learned this by the time I was 10. There is no reason why any adult doesn't know this.

Stretch it out, need more end results. Cant believe that was it. Story was promising but fell flat at the end. 4

...liked to hear the cheaters excuses, as to why they did it for 26 years. Thanx!

Loklie

Good story!

5

...but very weak ending...was her son ok with what she did to the family? Not very believable.

Nothing happened to Jan? Did she ever care for her husband?

She did not apologize to her x husband nor her son.

Did the other couple have children?........not bad story you just killed at the end..***

Literotica has had this issue for months now, where you cannot see all of the comments.

Stories like this need a proper ending. He has to ask why. Also no restraining order as she is co owner and has not assaulted him. After the big build up the story fizzled out without any dialogue between them. Did she beg his forgiveness, did she eventually confess why it happened, did she ever love him? Why did she stay so long if he wasn't enough for him? What happened to the 2 lovers relationship to cause them to split up? Lots of room for a part 2.

but nothing about the WHY. He was married to a cruel cheating whore for 26 years, was together with the two cheaters on a regular basis, and neither the cheated on husband or wife had any clue. No odd or deferential looks or gestures between the two cheaters, no time when someone wasn't were they were supposed to be, or someone saw one or the other entering the wrong house at an odd time of day? Possible, I guess, but indicates two professional actors who can completely change and morph their personalities, and have been without a slip up, for many years.

But we still don't know why. The cheating wife apparently was unhappy they were caught, but we don't know why. We don't even know for sure she was unhappy. Maybe the asshole she was fucking was her true love.

But at least we know how he caught them, what technique he used to get proof, and how they acted the moment they were caught and served. Guess that's somehing, but its not much. What sort of human beings do that to their families, and for what reasons? Maybe someone will write that story someday. Sounds kind of interesting.

Thanks for the effort.

Mediocre. Not great not horrible

Lol, the moronic comments are entertaining. Fuck off. When you are paying for a story, you can say its shit. Authors write for free and GIVE us something. When you are paying, feel free to complain that you didn't get what you paid for.

Thanks for the work on this and the free read. I'd love to hear more about these folks if you decide to write more.

I caught my wife because we have identical phones, took hers by accident and saw texts and 3 photos. there was no massive spy routine, i couldnt afford that. He got his balls stomped and a shattered knee, i wear steel toe boots. yes i went to jail for 90 days. but he needs a cane and cant get hard anymore, she actually fell out of the dining room window trying to get away from me while the police were there. win/win.

Not erotica !!

Good story

4* "pour encourager les autres"

Stupid ass cheaters

Your endings always feel rushed

Not this author's best. Story was thin and full of holes. Here is an example:

"Usually, the night before I leave town, Jan wants to get frisky; I guess as a warm-up for her lover. This time she said she was tired, and told me to save it up for when I got home. I didn't argue, wanting no part of sex with my whore wife ever again. "

Why did she change her routine? Seems unlikely to suddenly happen after 26 years.

Also, no explanation was given for the outlandish behavior of the cheating spouses.

And more BTB

Good story but ended too abruptly. Too many loose ends left unanswered. 3 *'s. Could have been a 5.

Ended too abruptly . 3*'s. could have been more

It would have been great had it had a longer ending.

It seems as though more new authors think their story is over once the cheaters are caught.

It’s not!

Sorry, can't get a restraining order against fucking.

Ho Hum.

Good one, Loejtc. Ho Hum.

26 years cheating and that is if. A bloody nose

jtwheels

Should have sued Bill for back child support and never spoken to Jan again after throwing her out.

Much better than the first one but the ending was a bit abrupt

Weak

Read it again. The only criticism I can offer is that people don't get over it that fast, especially after so many years.

Good, well-written and imaginative story!

feels rushed at the end, vague and incomplete. not your best.

Quite a fucked up stuff. The only complaint I have is unrealistic dialogue between Jan and Bill during 1/2 hour recording, like they would reveal "everything." But I already know you are a lazy writer and don't want to work on a little more elaborate story. Again, get an editor, you could be better than most of dreadful BTB writers in LW.

Not enough payback

Whore and asshole. Not so much fun once they have been caught. Their behaviour was typical of narcissistic, controllers who like to have one up on everyone. One would hope they were community pariahs for the rest of their lives….

3 stars - not much in this story to make it stand out a bit against the other 14,000 wife divorce stories.

Good enough story, although I too would like a little.more payback for the long term cheaters.

Nah, too soft. He should've sued for all the money he spent raising another man's child.

Payback should've been worse for both of them, with the knowledge of Ben being the father addressed. I also felt it was slightly too long a story for what was addressed.

Good story but I downgraded it a little due to the ending. Both should've been made to pay more, including being told that they've been found out to their 20+yr cheating & they know who's sperm created Kevin. Lastly, did anything happen between the wronged spouses down the line?

A few things. 1) the cheaters didn't receive any type of retribution, nor did they even attempt to say they're sorry except for Bill's pitiful "only one time, it's nothing" statement. Just a punch to his nose? No kick to the groin? 2,3...) your punctuation is worse than an grammer school child. Semi colons (;) everywhere not needed, commas misplaced or missing. I wanted to mark this story a 4 but downgraded it to 3 because of this. There were also some missing punctuation marks. What's needed is some proofing by somebody that knows punctuation.

Lastly, on a different level, I would've liked to know if the wronged spouses eventually started a relationship or stayed as just friends... or stopped communicating at some time in the future.

I did enjoy the story, but again, falls flat because you don’t or won’t take the time to actually finish them and follow through with complete and satisfying ending.

Why is that?

SW

PAYBACK,?!! Where is it,!!!

Where is the justice needed to level the field. One star. Only thing missing is the standard house giveaway to the slut.

While i agree with most of the comments here about a weak ending and no revenge or BTB, neither of them were promised. They are not in the tags so there is nothing to say that this story will contain them. Just our expectations based on most most stories in this category.

Insipid reads like a news account. No emotion, no angst....nada... In short incredibly BORING....

3 stars

Those two cheaters deserved more punishment… much more.

Silly ending, way too rushed and very little emotion. No revenge against the neighbor??? The whole ending with Ken was poor

really, she steals what was it 26 years of his life and thats it? doesnt even try to sue for back child support. nothing hmm thats a weird guy

His wife cheated on him for the last 26 fucking years of their marriage but at least he is happy that she has developed a good relationship with her son in the end. Such a good little cuck. We need more "men" like him in the real world.

One punch......Hell no!

It is interesting how some commenters can be so dumb! If Bill hadn’t impregnated Jan, Ken would not exist. Ken should be thanking both Bill and Jan for cheating on Tom, lol. Since Tom loves his son Ken, he shouldn’t be condemning Jan for getting pregnant BUT since they continued their affair for 26 years that is what Tom can be pissed about and divorce Jan!

Not bad. Still having some love for someone who cheated for 26 years doesn't make sense. That would have been gone as soon as the recording was played. She deserved nothing. She made her husband an evolutionary dead end. He needs to find a better woman who is young enough to still have children. Bill needs further punishment. After at least a year passes, hunt him down and give him the beat down he needs. Ken wouldn't care. Karen wouldn't care. No one would care.

That story could have used a lot more...

Like at least him showing them the DNA results

Sleeping Adultery is a time bomb waiting to off. The problem is when the slurry hits the fan, (slurry is far more liquid than a turd) the guilty party says it was 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago its all under the bridge. Indeed it is for you, but for me its brand new and guess what, I am treating it as brand new as you have covered it over for so long.

Decent story but it fell flat at the end. Sort of like the 1812 overture without cannons at the end. This ending needed lots of cannons!

Decent story until the ending. Felt like it dropped off the edge of a cliff.

The author provides no rationale for why a wife would behave in this manner. That Insight and observing the conversations that take place when the cheater is confronted and in the weeks that follow are the most interesting aspects of an infidelity story. Needless to say, this submission needed more effort put into it prior to publishing.

The son has a good relationship with his mother? Obviously he does not care that his Daddy is not his Father, says a lot about him.

While I'm not in favor or long history parts of a story (some author's have droned on for up to 2 pages!), there does seem to be a need here. How & why did Jan & Bill start getting together? What happened when she got pregnant with his child?

-- The inner turmoil of of Jan's husband Tom upon finding out should've been discussed, along with Bill's wife finding out. I'm not a lover of 6,8, & more pages on these stories, but feel more depth resulting in another page would've been good.

-- Likewise, the resulting relationship between Jan, her ex, & Ken should've been noted. Including whatever did result between Ken & his dad. But the story stopped. After the paper's served, Tom only punched Bill once? If nothing else, a couple kicks in his balls're called for.

-- Tom says he still loves Pam, but how can he fully after what she's done... & continually is doing? Her "No, this can't be happening" should've been met with a "Fuck you, yes, it IS happening, since you love betraying me." While I generally agree with that a man shouldn't hit a woman, there comes the rarity - & this's one of them, where a slap is called for. Especially when women want & deserve equal footing with me.

--- I need to answer one commenter abt 4mo ago who stated that Ken should thank both Jan & Bill for what they did, or he wouldn't be alive. And since Tom still loves his wife a bit, he shouldn't be condemning her. I wonder if this person's either a woman feminist or a cuck. 1- biology. the egg that became Ken was in Jan, tho how it developed would've been different, including the sex. 2- Fucking thank a wife for betraying him too many times over the years & leading Tom to believe Ken's HIS biological son when he wasn't?

--- Because of the above, I must downgrade - unfortunately - my rating from 4 to 3 stars. Yeah, a lot a missed, lol. Bob

Had a great storyline. This should have been a very emotionally charged story, but somehow the author made it read like a grocery list.

3 reluctant stars. very skinny, uninformative story. no motives , plots whatever. 3 very reluctant stars. rk

1 star

good intentions in the story i guess, but what a weird ending, leaving lots of questions; why/how did the affair start? from the eavesdropping tape, it wasnt a drunken 1 nite stand, so was it planned and they enjoyed it so much they continued? If they "love" each other so much, why not divorce their spouses and then remarry together? So, why how did affair start, what made it worth continuing, if it was worth continuing why not get together legally? rk

THAT’S IT???

Good story, but just one half of one. Where’s the rest of it???

In a different stiry and circumstance, I said that justice was best served wet and sloppy. In this case, it's best served red-handed.