All Comments on 'The Neighbour Girl'

Good writing and lots of interesting angles. I like the romantic and relational element! Keep going!

Hot start to your story. Can't wait to read where this goes and the ways Frank dominates this beautiful girl!

If you're writing a stroke story, this isn't bad.

If you want something more provocative, you need to think about your characters in a little more detail. Does he have dominant interests? How would she have possibly found out about his interest? Was there any sexual banter during the dog walks? Are her parents swingers? What about DS resonates with her? Right now the characters are puppets, very one-dimensional, doing what you want them to do, but why is it what they want to do? When the characters become real, the writing gets massively better.

Definitely has my interest for more.

Excellent beginning.

But I want to read more! What does Frank have in mind? In what direction will he go as Kris's Dominant? And what is his experience at domination? For Kris, what does she expect from a Dom, and what will her reaction be as Frank tests her level of submission?