The New Season

"The New Season" is another installment in the story of The Amazing Randy, the "World's Greatest Hypnotist." It chronicles the first leg of his annual national tour and takes up Randy's exploits where "The True Professional" series left off. A second, smuttier part, "Back at the X-Cut" is in the pipeline.

If you are willing to take the time to read, please be willing to take the extra minute or two it will take to comment or criticize. I welcome all feedback. It's why I publish what I write.

*****

Showdown at "The X-Cut"

"Can you believe the balls on this guy," Billy half-shouted as he rose from his bar stool. "Pal, you do have some big, brassy ones; I'll say that." Billy was a regular at "The X-Cut," a working man's bar in Kid Valley, Washington. "Big Billy" was aptly named. He was a truly huge and muscular man, a lumberjack who had been felling trees for Boise-Cascade his entire working life. "This asshole just refused to have a drink with me," he said as his body and gaze rotated in place, scanning the bar and looking for signs of outrage from his fellow regulars.

He found none. Everyone in the bar had seen the little drama that was about to unfold many times before. Big Billy liked to throw his weight around and people knew better than to challenge him when he'd had a few. Mostly they just continued studying their draft Olympias.

Refusal to share a proffered drink is extremely rare in a bar like The X-Cut. Most people were just there to drink anyway, so what was one more on another guy's tab? Offering to buy someone a drink was like a handshake offer. Not shaking it was viewed as unfriendly just as failure to accept a free drink was by most bar etiquette rules, but it wasn't a cause for genuine offense, just a little unfriendly.

"Well?" bellowed Billy, "are you gonna have that drink with me or what?"

The much smaller man who was the object of the bearded behemoth's ire turned slowly to face Big Billy, simultaneously reaching out to touch the big man's bare forearm.

"Billy, bend over so I can tell you something, just between us." Immediately Big Billy leaned in close. The man spoke quietly into his ear. "When I release your arm, you will sit back down at this bar and call the bartender over, quietly. When she arrives, you will tell her to put my drink on your tab and then you will order yourself another while I quietly finish my drink and leave. Half an hour after I'm gone you will piss your own pants while sitting at the bar. You will not notice it until someone else in the bar does and then you may react as you normally would. If you understand these instructions, gently nod your head."

Billy nodded and sat back on his barstool as he raised his hand to call the bartender. The alleged "offender" finished his drink, left a twenty dollar tip, and quietly left The X-Cut.

Before he could make through the parking lot to his vehicle, he heard the door to The X-Cut open and turned to see Amy the bartender, a good looking woman in her late twenties, maybe early thirties, running towards him. He stopped and waited for her to catch up. The closer she came, the better looking she got. Her bartender's outfit included a black cotton buttoned shirt which revealed a certain amount of pale cleavage, accentuated by her haste. Her longish brown hair hung sensibly a little below her shoulders. Her make-up was light and Amy's brown eyes shone in the light from the parking lot light towers. Drawing drafts for almost a full shift had dulled neither her looks nor her disposition.

"Can I help you, Amy?" the man asked. He had spent a little time at the bar before the Big Billy business had started and had learned her name through innocent bar talk. He had even considered hooking up with her after work, a simple thing that could be arranged by a brief touch and a few quiet commands. In the end he had decided that he needed to move on to Portland.

"I just wanted to thank you for your generous tip," she said through a grin.

"Your service was excellent," he said as he smiled back at her and extended his hand. She took it with both of her own, holding him locked in "mid-shake."

"What I really wanted to know was what you said to Billy. You know, I have been working in this bar for almost three years. That musclebound jerk has been throwing his weight around since before I started. You stopped him in his tracks. Everybody in the place noticed it. Hey, what's your name, anyway? Mind if I ask?"

"Not at all, I'm Randy."

"Can I be honest with you, Randy?"

"I expect nothing else. Be honest with me, Amy. Tell me what you want to tell me."

"Man, you're not making it easy on me, are you, Randy?" she said. "What I'm trying to say is that what you did inside tonight was hot, really hot. How'd you like to have a drink with me later, maybe at my place? I'm off at midnight."

"Amy," he said as he continued to grasp her hand, "there is nothing I would rather do than have a drink with you. Unfortunately, I have to be in Portland tomorrow and I'm going to be there for about a week. Maybe we can have that drink if I come back this way."

Amy reached for her pencil and order pad and quickly scribbled her full name and phone number on it. She handed it to Randy and said, "I hope you do."

Randy gave the waitress a hug and said, "Amy, you will go back into the bar and resume work. Stay behind the bar and pay close attention to Big Billy until something very out of the ordinary happens. You'll know it when it happens. You will remember that I made Billy do that, but you may not tell anybody. It will be our little secret.

Once in his car, the quiet stranger sat and chuckled to himself. He knew exactly what would happen in a half hour. He'd used that particular command before under similar circumstances and always with the same result. He started his car and drove away. He opened in Portland the next day.

At "Harry's"

After a long but leisurely drive down from the beautiful Cascades, Randy Baumgardner pulled into the parking lot at Harry's, one of Portland's many smallish dinner clubs, and also one of the oldest. Harry's had been around for nearly fifty years. It was a family business. Acts were booked with a handshake, especially well-established acts like "The Amazing Randy" who had opened his national tour at Harry's for the last five years running.

Harry's was almost like a second home to many of the acts who played the supper club. Many music, magic, and comedy acts had been given their initial shot at stardom at Harry's. In a tight-knit community like the club circuit, loyalty was important. Loyalty was the reason that The Amazing Randy was there. Years ago, when he was ready to make his final transition from the carnival, county and state fair stage to the club circuit, Harry had turned his stage over to the young hypnotist, who became an instant fan favorite. His appearances were always sell-outs. Not only was his act funny, but he was a supremely talented stage hypnotist. To his audiences it seemed like he could get people to do anything he wanted.

What folks didn't know was that they were right. The Amazing Randy could literally get his subjects to do anything he told them to do. As a young man, son of two life-long "carny" performers, Randy had discovered and then developed his wonderful gift. All he had to do was to touch bare skin and instantly he was given access to the mind of his subject. He could extract any information he wanted, including the subject's most intimate details and, if he wished, implant post-hypnotic suggestions which had to be acted upon every single time.

Big Billy had found that out the hard way the night before.

As Randy entered the club through the stage door, he paused briefly to remember the last time he had stood at a stage door. The previous year, Randy had ended his tour's final performance in Boston by using his power to arrange a hook-up with a beautiful blonde graduate student. They'd met at a stage door just like this one.

Randy moved quietly as he worked his way to his dressing room and opened his small suitcase which contained a few facial hair props and his signature top hat and tails. After arranging them the same way he had done hundreds of times before, Randy made his way from backstage to the corner of the bar where he pulled up a seat and ordered a club soda.

As he sat over the fizzy liquid a middle-aged woman came up from behind and put her arms around him, squeezing him gently. He felt the contact and instantly knew that it was Lillian, Harry's oldest daughter and current owner of her late father's business. A quick search of her mind revealed that she was mostly content, though saddened by her father's recent death. He could sense there was something else, but he'd wait to bring it up in conversation. Randy preferred to hear things "voluntarily," even from those he had hypnotized. It felt a little less intrusive although, of course it wasn't. At any rate, business was steady and her feelings of welcome were genuine.

Randy reached up and gently pinned her arms to his chest. "I'm in this joint not ten minutes and already a beautiful woman is trying to pick me up. I need to come here more often." With that he turned and stepped off the bar stool, planting a soft kiss on Lillian's cheek, show business style. "Lil," he said quietly, you are simply ageless. What is your secret?"

Returning the peck on the cheek to her old friend, Lillian with one hand on her hip as she leaned into the bar replied, "Tell you what, Randy. I'll tell you my secrets if you tell me yours." They both laughed and Lil sat down.

"Lil, I hope that you got the flowers I sent when your dad died. You know how much I loved Harry."

"I did and I do, Randy," said Lil with a sigh. "I miss him so." She grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Randy returned the intimate gesture and then said "I know, Lil. He was as fine a man as I've ever met in this business, as any man I've met, period. Then he probed for what he really wanted to know- the source of the anxious twinge he had initially sensed when they first touched.

"Tell me what's troubling you, Lil," he both asked and commanded. "Business looks steady, maybe even up a little from last year."

"Well, Randy," she said, "success is both a blessing and a burden. Last year we made a good profit; we rebuilt the bar and refurbished the dressing rooms. Did you notice when you came in?"

"I did and I approve thoroughly. They look great and," he paused for effect, "more importantly, it still feels like home, if you understand what I mean."

"I do, Randy. Thanks."

"So, what's the problem?"

"Our modest success has attracted a, a little too much attention from the local criminal element."

"What kind of attention?"

So far, it's been limited to intimidation tactics, but I expect an actual demand for protection money soon, if not tonight. They have a front row table for your show. The boss and his son will be sitting there with either their wives or their girlfriends. I've met both but I don't know who will show up tonight. I'm scheduled to meet them after the show. I can't fight these guys. Randy. I'm gonna have to pay."

"Don't give in just yet, Lil," Randy said with a soft squeeze of her hand. "You never know what's going to happen." With that he let her go and smiled his most reassuring smile. "I have to go put on my war paint, Lil. It's moving on towards show time."

"Break a leg," she said as she blew him a kiss and went back to welcoming her guests and working the room.

Randy took an extra minute to finish his club soda as he ruminated on his good friend's situation and potential "solutions." Then he went to his dressing room to prepare for the show. After ten or so minutes the stage manager knocked briefly at the door. "Five minutes," he announced.

Five minutes later, the music in the club lowered and Lillian stepped onto the stage. Taking the microphone from the stand at center stage, she said, "And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you an old friend of Harry's who just happens to be the world's greatest hypnotist. Give it up for The Amazing Randy!"

The audience applauded and Randy, in top hat and tails and a false beard and wig strode to center stage where he bowed in a grand sweeping gesture to his audience. Randy went right into the act, asking for volunteers to come to the stage. For almost an hour Randy hypnotized random folks into doing all sorts of silly things. Their antics, combined with Randy's jokes and set-ups kept the crowd in stitches. He needed no audience "plants" for his tricks because The Amazing Randy was the real deal. Randy Baumgardner actually was the world's greatest hypnotist. After the final embarrassed housewife had returned to her seat, Randy announced that after a short break, the "adults only" portion of the program would begin.

The Second Act

After a quick trip to the backstage bathroom, Randy looked out from behind the side of the stage where he could see Lillian sitting at the mobsters' table. She did not look happy. After a minute or two, Lillian excused herself from the table and made her way backstage to get ready to introduce the second set. After some brief small talk, Randy gently put his hand on Lillian's arm and commanded her to tell him everything about her meeting with her new partners, which she did. The protection was going to cost Harry's fifteen percent of gross revenue per month, a fair chunk of change that would cripple the club. The first payment was to occur after the show tonight, in full, and then again every month. Randy released her and she went to the stage to announce the second portion of the program.

As usual, the second half of the show was "R" rated. That meant that the jokes would get a little racier and the "contestants" would be exposing themselves, not literally, but they might be asked to reveal a secret or a side of themselves that otherwise they might wish to keep private. It was a fine line. The Amazing Randy was a seasoned professional artist who set and enforced the limits for on-stage behavior and knew when and how to turn the show back on course when something unexpected happened, which was rarely. Racy was OK. Explicitly foul was not.

Lillian reminded the audience that there was a strict "no nudity" policy at the club. She had seen Randy's act in one form or another dozens of times and knew that he felt exactly the same way. The Amazing Randy could wow 'em without the aid of nudity. Furthermore he knew that it was not the actual revelation of naked flesh that got the laughs; it was the possibility of nakedness that kept folks on the edge of their seats. His job was to use his "subjects" to set up the room for his punch line. The Amazing Randy had spent years perfecting his act. He gave the light man some last minute instructions and took the stage.

"Well, folks, now we get to the R-rated portion of the program or, as I like to call it, 'the fun'. Tonight I am looking specifically for female volunteers. "Steve," he said as he turned to the side of the stage and extended his arms, "find us our next contestant." Randy turned back to the audience using both arms to point to the audience as once again, he took a deep bow.

Steve had already surveyed the crowd and knew exactly where the "lookers" were. An intense follow-spot searched through the crowd for a few minutes while Randy made some jokes about each person where the spotlight lingered. Eventually, the spotlight made its way to the front table where the mobster and his son sat with their "dates." Randy immediately made them for wives, not girlfriends. He moved to the edge of the stage.

"Well, young lady," he said to the younger of the two women, "please stand up and let us get a look at you," said the tuxedoed hypnotist. Her husband stopped her in mid-rise with a grab of her arm. "Whoa there!" Randy said into his microphone loud enough to draw the whole room's attention to the table. "What are you, her husband?" The spotlight broadened to include husband and wife as the crowd laughed.

"Yes I am," replied the young man.

Randy took a mock step back in recoil. He surveyed the room and paused before saying "What's the matter, don't you think that she's pretty enough to come on stage? I think that this young woman is absolutely magnificent. What about you folks? Will she do?" The crowd burst into applause along with a few hoots and howls from the men in the room. The beautiful young woman jerked her arm from her husband's grasp and stood full up, adoring her moment in the limelight.

Randy descended the three steps by the side of the stage and made his way to their table. He extended his hand to the husband who shook it reflexively. It was enough for Randy to take control as he leaned down and whispered into the man's ear. "You will allow you wife to come on stage. Give in and go with the flow. By the way, you think all of my jokes are funny."

Randy rose from the table, gently guiding the young woman by the hand, repeating an act he had done hundreds and hundreds of times before. The spotlight remained on the table. As he negotiated the meager walkway around the table between the tightly packed chairs filled with well-fed patrons the hypnotist extended his free hand to the other, older man at the table. The crowd was still cheering as The Amazing Randy shook hands and knelt over to whisper to the man whose hand he shook. "Don't interfere," he commanded. "Go along."

Patting the man's back and smiling, Randy turned to the audience and spoke into his microphone. "Wait a minute. What have we here," he exclaimed theatrically. "Steve, sharpen that follow spot. I seem to have discovered another candidate. Please stand up young lady," he said to the second contestant from the same table. Randy was being chivalrous to the woman who, despite being in her forties, could have passed for a younger woman. As he extended his arm to her, she rose and squinted in the bright light.

"Decisions, decisions, decisions, he said while thumbing his own cheek. I just don't know what to do," he said in mock exasperation. "I've got it," he said, mugging for the crowd, "I'll take 'em both. Whaddaya think folks?" The audience roared its approval as Randy guided both women up and onto center stage. The follow spot was extinguished and the stage lights came up.

Showtime!

Randy exhorted the crowd one more time and then took the opportunity to speak quietly to the two women while his back was turned to the audience. "Both of you will do exactly what I say until I release you." He raised his microphone and spoke while he slowly circled the two women with a silent movie lecherous leer on his face, like he was judging prime steers at an auction- all exaggerated for laughs. "Ladies," he said, "you know the rules. No taking your clothes off." He hesitated and then said, "Well, not all the way off." He gave the audience an exaggerated couple of winks and turned to their husbands saying, "How 'bout you guys, you're ok with maybe a little skin, right?" Both men nodded in the affirmative, the younger of the two laughing out loud. The audience took the que and laughed as well.

Both women fidgeted a bit while Randy made small talk. He asked them their names which were Vickie, the elder of the two, and Stephanie. Their husbands' names were Mike and Mike Jr. Eventually, Randy asked, "Well, ladies are you ready for some fun?"

Suddenly the stage lights dimmed until a single spotlight illuminated The Amazing Randy and his two female guests. With a grand gesture the "World's Greatest Stage Hypnotist" removed a reflective golden watch chain from his pocket, faced the two women, and slowly swung the watch from side to side like a pendulum. This was, of course, all show. Both women were already completely under Randy's influence. They would do whatever he said.