The Ninth Caller Ch. 01

"Evening, Sam," Frank said as he approached the desk and flashed his ID. This procedure was so stupid. Frank Knight was one of the highest paid performers at the Radio Station and had worked in the same building for decades, but, security in New York got a lot more difficult after 9/11. Everyone had to show their badge in order to get into the building, no matter who they were.

"Who's on your show tonight? Is it that psychic again?" Sam said as he pretended to look at the badge. He knew the drill too, and also knew it was stupid.

"I never know until I get to the studio, and that is exactly how I like it. I like to surprise myself, keeps the show fresh, you know," Frank said as he put his ID away.

"Well, I am hoping it is that psychic you had on a few months ago. She repeats frequently, so, I can hope," Sam said. "She's great. The Mets are playing Sunday, and I would like to beat the moneyline this time. Maybe you could ask her, privately—"

Frank shook his head, and said, "—Sam, there is no psychic in the world that can help you with that, even Madame Sylvia! Now, if only you would just give up and become a Yankee fan already, you wouldn't need any supernatural help from beyond."

"Ha!" Sam laughed. "Hey, I listened to your show last night about Satanists, and that is about as close to the empire of evil as I want to get."

"Typical fucking Mets fan!" Employing his best Darth Vader impression, Frank said, "Join us, Sam! Join the Dark side! Resistance is futile."

Sam chuckled as he buzzed open the lock on the private elevator to the studios on the upper floors, adding, "You Yankee fans are all like. Pure spawn of Satan, every one of yoos guys."

"Well, that pact with dark Lord is a bitch to maintain, you know. Constantly requiring all that fresh virgin blood is very expensive," Frank said with a laugh. "Have a good night, and don't bet on the Mets." He got into the private elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.

As the doors started closing, Sam called out, "Have a good show, Frank. I will be listening." He added quickly, "Oh, don't forget to ask her about the game. All I need to know is the spread—"

Frank laughed as the doors closed on Sam's question. Despite the desires of the security guard, he hoped tonight's guest wasn't Madame Sylvia. She grows very tiresome, very quickly.

After just a few moments, the doors opened on the top floor, and all of the grand décor and early twentieth century elegance from the lobby below evaporated in a flash. Here were housed the studios of WNBC, the flagship radio station for NBC's radio networks. All of the money generated by the Network had obviously been plowed into the TV studios below him, because on this floor, it looked like a bomb went off and threw everything forty years into the past. Green linoleum floors, unupdated since Chico and the Man was being filmed in one of the TV studios below, lined the halls, along with wall after wall of hideous faux wood paneling. What happened to décor in the 70s? All those lime green appliances, orange shag carpets and fake wood. It was like the entire nation took a ten-year vacation from good taste.

It did not matter though, since, as rundown and shabby as it may look on the outside, the technology was up to date and state of the art. Radio, being a non-visual medium, did not require decorative splash. At the end of the hall stood the door to his studio, and as he entered, his face dropped when he was immediately greeted with sharp words from his producer.

"What the fuck, Frank?" Jane Harris, producer of Night Talk with Frank Knight, shouted. "It is nearly 10:45, and I had hoped to get some of these promos knocked out before the show went on tonight."

"Hey, I'm sorry," Frank said. "I was a bit detained this afternoon."

"Oh, I bet you were," Jane said as she raised her eyebrow. "What happened? A troop of brownie scouts wander too close to your lair?"

"That..., was unkind," Frank said as he smirked. He winked as he added, "You know I much prefer Girl Scouts. Those Jr. Mints especially are quite delicious."

"God, you are too much," Jane said as she shook her head. "And another thing, why in the hell are you dressed like you just rolled out of a Phish concert?"

Frank looked down at his attire and shrugged. "What's the problem?" Pointing around the dark paneled room, dripping with wires, computers, control panels and aging, worn-out furniture, he added, "In case you haven't noticed, this is RADIO. What difference does it make what I wear?"

"Frank, you are a middle-aged man! You should at least make some attempt at dressing your age, you know."

"Hey, there is no reason to get ugly, Jane," Frank said.

"I was being nice! Because technically, people don't live to be 104. So, calling you middle-aged was being generous."

"You can be a total bitch sometimes," Frank said in a mock pout. "Which is why you are such a good producer. Look, I apologize for being late. I will go sacrifice a goat to whatever Demon God you sold your soul to, but, we can't go back in time. Let's just move on. I know you are ruthless and efficient, and like to keep things on track—"

"—Damn straight," she said. "And normally, your noveau-hobo look would not matter to me. I have long since given up, but tonight, of all nights, I would think you would try to look presentable."

"What's so special about tonight?"

"Ah, I should have known," Jane exhaled as she threw up her arms. "You didn't read my email from yesterday, did you?"

"Email?"

"As I thought" Jane sighed. Shaking her head, she added, "Honestly, I don't know how we stay on the air. Frank, tonight's guest is not calling in. She is going to be here in the studio, live! I have been working on this booking for months, and it's a BFD." Jane's face fell when she gazed over at Frank, and said, "I can only imagine what she is going to think when she gets a load of you."

"She?"

"That got your attention!" Jane said. "Yes, it's a she, but, trust me, she's not your type."

"Oh, total fattie, eh? Figures, those UFO babes always tend to be a bit on the zaftig side."

"Jesus! I am not paid enough for this. First, you are such a scumbag for automatically judging a woman on her appearance, especially her weight."

"True," Frank said with a grin.

"And second, if you took any interest in following the show schedule I post, which I know you don't, you would know that tonight's topic is Ghosts, not UFOs. We have been a bit heavy on the UFO topic lately, and frankly, the affiliates are starting to complain."

"I can't blame them," Frank said. "Hmmm, a Ghost show again, not a bad idea, actually. We haven't covered that topic in a few weeks, so it is time. It also always encourages a lot of calls." He winced as he added, "When you said our guest tonight was coming into the studio live, I got worried. I was afraid you booked those crazy Reptilian Conspiracy Theorists again. That show was a fucking disaster! I know this is a whacky spook show, but some things are just too crazy to even try and give credence too."

"On that we agree," Jane said. Laughing she added, "I think when Miss Zenor, or whatever the hell her name was, said Queen Elizabeth was a Reptilian, she lost me."

"Look, Jane," Frank said as he dropped his brow and forced a contrite onto his face. "I am sorry I didn't read your email, I promise I will next time. I promise you, tonight's show will be great. I even promise to stay on top of the schedule."

"You are lying," Jane said as she grinned, "but I appreciate the lie. It at least shows you are listening."

Frank smirked, and then said, "So, when does this mystery guest come in? If she is that important, I can have Pedro swing by my apartment and bring me more "age appropriate" clothes."

"There is no time, plus hey, who knows, she may like your look," Jane said. "She is still relatively young and hip. You always could charm the ladies with your laid back, 'don't give a shit' manner."

"Oh?" Frank said as his eyes perked up. "Now I am getting very intrigued. Why are you being so closed lipped about this guest, and..., why do you say she is not my type. You don't know everything I like."

"After 25 years, I have a pretty good idea," Jane said. "She's too old for you."

"I thought you just said she was young and hip?"

"She is. She's 40. Which is still young in my book, but for you...,"

"Hey, I am broad minded," Frank said. "I like forty." Grinning as he glanced over at her, he smiled his most panty dropping smile, and added, "After all, you are forty, right? And damn, Jane, you are still smoking."

Jane laughed as she said, "You are such a bullshitter! No wonder you do so well with the ladies."

"Cash helps too, you know," Frank said with a wink.

"Yeah..., but I am 45, not 40, but I will take the compliment. But, I have known you for a long long time, Frank. I know what you like."

"True, my favorite 40s usually come in the form of two twenties," Frank said with a broad laugh. Patting his hips, he said, "one for each side of the bed."

"Pig!" Jane said with a smirk. "But get all this bullshit out of your system before she gets here. I really want you to be on your best behavior tonight. If we play our cards right, and put on a good show and make a good impression, she could end up being a regular. And that, dear Frank, will pay big dividends, because I know she is going to be a huge hit."

"I will, I will," Frank said. "I will put my best foot forward, but, you still haven't said who is coming? Jesus Christ, the way you are going on and on about this woman, I half expect to see Princess Di, risen from the grave, wandering through the door any second."

"That wouldn't be half as impressive. The guest tonight is Sofia Arcos."

"Holy shit!" Frank exclaimed. "You booked Sofia Arcos! I know on good authority that every paranormal show on earth has been salivating to book her. Those Ghost Hunter's International fuckers are going to go nuts when they find out. How on earth did you manage to book her? I heard she was notoriously private and never talks to anyone."

"Well, she talked to me, and it all worked out. Of course, it helped that I agreed to all of her crazy demands: First class ticket from Bucharest, full suite for a week at the Waldorf, tickets to Hamilton."

"You got her tickets to Hamilton? Even I couldn't get tickets!"

"Like I said, she is a big deal, and the producer is a huge fan! But, as you know, she is notoriously press shy, so it was still a longshot. The clincher was, she appears to be a fan of our show."

"Why wouldn't she be?" Frank said as he grinned. "So, what format did she say she wanted to do tonight? Full interview on her book, all listener call-ins; for Sofia Arcos, I can be very flexible."

"Well, she says she wants to try something unorthodox tonight, with listener calls."

"Unorthodox?" Frank said. "Well..., I like the sound of that. The show has been a little stale lately so it's good to mix it up a bit. What did she have in mind?"

"She wouldn't say, but, soon enough we will find out," Jane said. "The only details she gave me was that the spirits had reached out to her and told her to come to America. According to her, they directed her to see you, specifically."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Now Frank, I have been promoting the shit out of this program with all of the affiliates, so just go with the flow. If tonight goes well, and she likes you—"

"—Why wouldn't she like me?" Frank said with a smile. "I am compelling!"

"Yeah, you are a real pip," Jane said flatly. "As I was saying, if tonight goes well, and she likes you, who knows. She might make this a regular gig."

"Well, that would be something. Her last book, Voices from Beyond, burned up the Amazon Best Seller list for months! She has a ton of rabid fans, so I know it will be great for the show."

"That is what I am counting on," Jane said. "So, I want you to put on the full charm tonight."

"Check! I will have that Romanian spook wrangler eating out of my hand by the end of the show."

"Well, just try and humor her. She is quite sensitive. But, if we play this right, who knows. We could up our AD rates for the show, and—"

"—More is always better," Frank said as he smiled.

"We have a little time before she gets here, so, let's record a couple of promos," Jane said. She grinned when she added, "We got three new affiliates this week."

"Oh?" Frank said. "From where?"

"Salt Lake City, Phoenix and Portland," She said as she glanced down at a sheet of paper in her hand. "So, who do you want to do first?"

"How about Portland."

Jane nodded and headed to the control booth as Frank sat down at his table and pulled the microphone close to his mouth. He held up three fingers, and said, "Three, two, one..., Good Evening Portland," he began as his velvety deep voice echoed through the studio. "Tune into AM 1340 weeknights at the witching hour, midnight, where I, Frank Knight, will accompany you on a journey through the exciting and bizarre world of the unknown. For three hours each night all aspects of the supernatural and bizarre will be discussed, from Bigfoot to Aliens, in the nation's oldest and most successful Paranormal talk show. Set your dials to 1340 so you won't miss a second of the scariest show on radio, Night Talk with Frank Knight. Tune in..., if you dare!"

Jane nodded and gave him the thumbs up sign. It was a good take.

*****

At 11:30 on the dot, Sofia Arcos walked into the studio. Frank, standing up as she entered, could not contain his grin. Not only was she the pinnacle of guests for those in the Paranormal business, but, his producer had been correct. She was smoking hot. Sofia was thick; just like he liked, and her full Romanian hips, and equally full breasts radiated raw sexual power. To have the ultimate guest of all times be a hot Gypsy woman was icing on the cake.

And she certainly looked the part of an exotic Gypsy beauty, every glorious inch of her. A purple scarf covered her long dark hair, and the neckline of her thin cotton peasant blouse was delightfully very low. Frank could not help but stare at her delicious cleavage staring up at him as he strode across the room to shake his hand. She was barefoot, which was surprising, and her flowing multi-colored skirt was long. Jewels covered her body, from the large gold hoops in her ears, to the layers and layers of necklaces, rings, and bracelets decorating her body like a Christmas tree. As she walked, she jingled as her bracelets all clanged musically against one another. Topping off her look was the large red bag she carried in her left hand, resembling more a modified oriental carpet than a purse.

Frank melted as she smiled and he saw her large brown eyes up close. She was truly stunning.

"This is such an honor, Miss Arcos," Frank said. "I have been such a fan of your work for many years."

"Please, Mr. Knight," she gushed. "The honor is all mine."

"Frank."

"What?"

"Call me Frank. If we are going to spend the night together, we should at least be on a first name basis, I would think," he said as he winked. In the booth, Jane rolled her eyes as she watched Sofia giggle as Frank kissed her hand. She had to smirk. Well, I did tell him to lay on the charm, but honestly!

"Well," she cooed in her thick, sexy Romanian accent, "I certainly want you to let you be Frank, right?"

"Ah, my catch phrase proceeds me. Well, hopefully there won't be any crazy calls tonight that warrant me dragging that out."

After a few minutes of small talk, and more eye rolling from Jane, Frank directed Sofia to sit down opposite him across a long oak conference table, and they donned their clumsy headphones. Sofia struggled a bit a first, and eventually realized she would have to remove her hoop earrings in order for the phones to fit properly. Jane took her place in the control booth and ran a few sound checks as one of the assistants brought in coffee. Frank winced when he saw Sofia smirk at the cheesy mug with his face emblazoned on the surface.

"Pretty terrible, eh?" Frank said as he lifted his cup. "You know how these promo guys are."

"Yes," Sofia said as she sipped her coffee. She winked as she added, "Although, I don't know whether they captured your real essence here on your picture. You are far more attractive in person."

Frank, uncharacteristically went silent and just smiled. He glanced up at the clock, saw it was ten to midnight, and said, "We go on the air in just a few minutes, so any last minute questions? I assume you have done radio before?"

"Yes, but never in this format," Sofia said. "I have been interviewed about my books, but, I have never participated in a live call-in show. I am very curious. Spirit has been quite loud lately, and is quite excited that I made this trip."

"Yes," Frank said flatly. "The way it works is, you and I will have some banter for a bit at the top of the show. Talk about your new book, your background, yada yada yada. You know the drill."

"Yes."

"That will get the show going, and then we can start taking calls."

"How many calls do you typically get each night?"

Jane interjected from the booth. "Hundreds, and I should know because I have to screen each one. I usually keep at least 35 on hold in the queue, and so I will guide you on who is likely to be the most interesting caller. All the details about the callers are on that display monitor to your right. I am sure this show is going to be slammed, so I think we will be able to be very discriminating and choose only guaranteed winners."

"Perfect!" Sofia said. "But, it might be a bit different tonight. Spirit will guide us on who it wishes to speak with." She turned to her left, and opened her bag. From within, she gingerly lifted a wooden board out of the bag and placed it on the table between she and Frank. Reaching down into her bag again, she next retrieved a red stone and placed it in the center of the board. The rock was flat and slick, and resembled an arrowhead, and Sofia seemed pleased as she saw it glided over the surface easily and without any interference.

Frank's eyes grew wide as he looked down at the object. He said, "Do you mind if I touch it? I have never seen an authentic one of these before."

"Of course!" Sofia said. "I expect you to touch it. After all, you and I are going to be operating this all night."

Frank ran his fingers carefully over the surface of the ancient board and could barely keep his enthusiasm in check. It was amazing, and obviously very old. The wood was black and heavily lacquered, and appeared to be charred on the edges. In the center of the wood, carved into the grain were various symbols he did not recognize. The thick coating on top of the board made it slick, and as Sofia slid the red stone across the top, he reached the rock and caught it with his forefinger. The stone passed easily over the surface.

Jane, peeking out from the control booth said, "That looks like a Ouija board."

"Ha!" Sofia snapped. "It would be more accurate to say that a Ouija board looks like this!"

"Sorry, I meant no offense," Jane sputtered. "So, are you are going to use this during our broadcast? It is very interesting. I don't think we have ever had a Oui..., I mean, spirit board used live on the air before."

"No," Sofia said. "It has never been done, but..., the spirits are most insistent."

"This is going to make the audience go wild, Sofia!" Frank gushed. "I know this is going to be a big hit. Those spook lovers are going to eat it up." He smiled as he looked over at Jane, and said, "This must be the unorthodox request then?"

"Yes," Sofia said. "This spirit board has been in my family for generations. In fact, I really do not know how old it is, but, as you can see, it is quite ancient. My grandmother had it lacquered so the wood would not deteriorate any further."