The Nose Knows

I couldn't look at her and I certainly wasn't going to sit on that defiled bed again so I walked back out onto the balcony and while squeezing the rail like it was a throat I inhaled long breaths of the sea air. After about twenty minutes of staring blankly into the ship's wake I realized that avoiding the issue was not going to accomplish anything and I would have to face the music even though I was going to hate the tune.

"I have a lot of questions, Jennifer, the most important one being, ;why?: I need to know what happened and I need to know in detail. Please don't use worn out cliches avoid the narrative that needs to be told.:

She was grasping a large number of tissues in her fist and after wiping her eyes and blowing her nose she took an audibly deep breath and began.

"I almost said I don't know what happened or how it happened but I've had several hours to think about it and saying them would just be a lie. What I can say in complete honesty, even though you may consider it self serving, is that this was certainly not planned. Another thing I must say is that I love you, always have, always will and I am ashamed at what I have done. I let a fantasy vacation momentarily cloud my judgement and put everything I cherish at risk."

Most of what Jen had just said was said while looking at my face. 'When she began to speak again her voice was low and breaking.

"After you left this morning I noticed that you had left your wallet on the dresser. At first I panicked and thought of trying to find you before you left the ship but I figured I'd be too late anyhow. When I opened it I was happy to see that there was no money in it and assumed that you had taken the cash and put it in your pocket.

She glanced up at me, I guess to see if I was listening. Then she seemed to steel herself and taking a deep breath continued:

"I was feeling so happy that I was no longer sick and that I'd be able to enjoy the rest of the cruise. I was going to take Carol's advice and pick up some Dramamine just to make sure but first I decided to take a shower."

"When I got out of the shower and was blow drying my hair I thought I heard a knock on the door so I wrapped a towel around me and went to the door. I thought it was probably you and that you had forgotten something but I asked who it was in case it was the steward. When I heard; 'Jen, it's me' I opened the door and without looking so as not to expose myself in an open doorway I walked back into the room. When I heard the door snap shut and I turned around it was Ted standing there."

I could sense the hesitancy in her voice and see tears forming in her eyes as she looked down at her feet and continued:

"I was shocked and explained that I had thought it was you returning for something when I had let him in. The towel wasn't covering much and Ted was just staring into my eyes. Why I didn't just turn and go back into the bathroom is a mystery. The only thing I can think of is that I had never been so exposed to any man other than you and the lust full look in his eyes was exciting.

The naughtiness of the moment, standing half naked in front of a man other than my husband and the euphoric feeling of being on a ship, far from home, was ---, I don't know how to describe it--------, making me feel free and adventurous. After all, I rationalized, I wasn't naked and Ted wasn't a stranger. I was just being a little risqué.

When he suddenly put his arms around me and leaned in to kiss me I was so startled that I froze in place. It was only a second or two before I realized what had just happened but when I started to pull away he held me tighter and put his tongue in my mouth.

She seemed to think that her narration thus far would explain her faux pas and we could move on from there but a tongue kiss certainly didn't adequately explain the large wet spot that was crusting on the sheet, not five feet away. I said: "I want to know how a stolen kiss translates to a puddle of seamen on our sheet."

Her eyes were pleading for mercy when she looked at me and said:

"Please Tom, don't make me continue. You can't imagine how sorry and ashamed I am. I know you must be furious and incredibly disappointed and I don't blame you but please don't make me go on."

I let out a sarcastic laugh, "you don't blame me", well that's mighty big of you. Maybe you think I should chalk it up to a bad decision and not even ask you if this was the first time you and Ted have done the horizontal mambo or, for that matter, if he was the only one you've cheated with,"

Even through her tears I saw a flash of anger cross her eyes but then the realization of possible ramifications involved must have dawned on her and, shaking her head vigorously, said:

"Tom, I know you want to hurt me but you have to know that I have never been with Ted. I have never even fantasized about him or any man and I certainly have never done anything like this before. I swear that on the lives of our children."

I didn't respond immediately as I composed my thoughts but finally stated with determination:

"Jennifer, I may believe that but I can tell you that no matter what happens to us as a couple we are not leaving this room until you explain to me how that random kiss became that spot on our bed. Do I want to know the details? Damn straight I do. The devil is in the details and there's a big difference between you having a quick fuck in the heat of the moment or you having taken him in your mouth after your first orgasm and brought him back to life for a few more."

I saw her wince at my last sentence but there was no way that I wasn't going to be told the truth and I knew my wife well enough to know when she was lying or sugar coating it. She stood up and facing out to the sea with her arms wrapped around herself, she went on:

"It wasn't long before I was no longer a reluctant participant in the kiss but was reciprocating with equal enthusiasm. I could feel his erection even through his pants and my towel. My brain was yelling No! but my body was screaming, Yes!

Her voice became low and monotone as she continued to stare out at the ocean.

"I don't even remember him removing the towel from around me. I just recall it falling to the floor on top of my feet. I was dizzy with this new feeling of freedom and adventure and the forbidden act, itself. I remember thinking 'it's just a lark, I would stop it at any moment but each moment seemed to evolve into something even more lustful. His hand was fondling my breast and his thumb caressing my nipple but I knew that was as far as I would go even though I was getting very aroused. At some point he must have taken his penis out because he took my hand off his shoulder and placed my fingers around his erection."

"I guess it was at that point that my brain was no longer screaming, No! I wanted to feel what it was like to be with another man other than you. He moved his hand between my legs and moved me onto the bed as he removed his shirt and shorts and kicked off his sandals. He slid his finger inside of me and my inner voice was saying over and over: 'just this once - just this once. Then he was inside me."

"My eyes were closed the whole time. I think I was trying to block out the guilt that was trying to work it's way into my consciousness but my pussy had other plans as I continued to respond to his thrusts. I had an orgasm almost immediately and he followed with his shortly thereafter."

I finally forced myself to open my eyes and address the betrayal that I had just committed but I couldn't focus through the tears that had begun. There was no after glow, no kisses or touching. Ted sat up with a shocked look on his face and stuttered:

"Oh my God, Jen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I just came down here to see if you were okay. Carol was going to be at the spa most of the day and Tom on the tour, I just thought- - - - -, I just figured since we were both going to be alone we could do something together--------,I mean up on deck, not- - - - - . "

"Ted was already dressed and I had pulled the covers up to my chin and was still whimpering when he said:"

"Jen, we made a mistake. People make mistakes. Please don't say anything. I know you love Tom and God knows I love Carol but I know she'd dump me if she found out. And Tom-----shit, he'd probably throw me overboard."

She finally stepped away from the balcony and sat precariously on the end of the bad since I had collapsed into the only chair. When her eyes glanced at the drying spot on the sheet she shivered and started crying again. She glanced at me momentarily, the shame etched on her face but when she was composed enough to resume speaking she was staring at the wall.

"I stayed in the cabin cursing myself up and down and crying for hours. I thought about what Ted said, 'no one will know". I even told the cabin steward to make up the room but I knew I would never be able to look you in the eyes without your seeing the shame and guilt on my face. I stood by the rail over-looking the pier, for hours, waiting to see you return. When I saw you re-board I figured the bed would have been remade but I knew I needed to confess so I waited awhile, mustering my courage, before coming back down to the room."

"When I entered the cabin I heard the shower running and saw the covers pulled down, I realized you must already know.

Finally looking at me, she pleaded:

"Tom, I can only hope that you believe me when I say, even if the bed had been made and the evidence of my betrayal was gone, I was not going to lie to you. I managed to ruin fourteen years of a perfect marriage in probably less than five minutes. If I live to be a hundred I will never know why, or what possessed me to risk everything. What ever you decide to do I just hope you know that I love you, even more than the day we married. I have never betrayed you before, not even in my dreams."

I was angry but no longer furious. Actually, I even felt flashes of sympathy while Jen was speaking. However, the strongest emotion I felt was, hurt. My mind was racing with disjointed thoughts: retribution, divorce, my daughters, Ted and, most importantly, could my marriage be saved.

I don't know how long I sat there, without saying a word, while my mind was inundated with thoughts and the image of my wife lying naked on the bed with her legs spread wide as she experienced an orgasm with another man's cock plunging in and out of her pussy. My anger was returning but I was bought out of my reverie when I heard Jennifer speak. It took a moment for her words to penetrate my addled brain but when I looked at her all I could see was the love of my life with pain and grief written all over her face. It looked as if her small frame had shrunk in on itself. She was waiting for an answer as her question finally registered in my consciousness.

"Are you going to divorce me?"

I resisted the urge to comfort her, my feelings were still too raw. Instead of answering directly I said:

I'm very confused right now, Jen, and we have a lot to talk about before any decisions are made."

She just nodded, sadly as I continued:

"Right now we have to deal with reality. We have five more days of this ship and we are not going to spend it hiding out in our room. Why don't you take a shower while I get dressed, we have an hour before dinner."

Jennifer looked absolutely horror stricken at those words and sobbingly pleaded:

Oh no, Tom, please! I can't face them, please, not today."

I didn't think I was ready to touch her but her sheer panic moved something in my soul and I stood and placing my hand lightly on her shoulder, said:

The word of endearment escaped my lips and before I could retract it I said"

Honey, there is never going to be a 'right time' so the sooner we face the inevitable, the better."

Jen looked like someone on death row as she reluctantly trudged toward the shower.

**********************************

Jen was dressed in a simple yellow print sun dress and flat shoes as we entered the dining room and headed to our table where Carol and Ted were already seated. I had not formulated a cohesive plan as to how I was going to address the issue but when I saw the looks on their faces I knew the cat was already out of the proverbial bag.

Ted was sitting on the edge of his chair looking pale and contrite while Carol, dressed to the nines, looked relaxed and imperious. As I pulled a chair out for Jen, Ted stood and nervously faced me. I could tell that he wasn't sure if the next few minutes would find him in the infirmary or treading water, hoping for a life boat to rescue him. To his credit he found his balls and said:

Tom, I can't tell you how sorry I am. It was my fault and I want you to know that when I went to your cabin in was not my intention to --------,to-------, to have what happened, happen. It wasn't Jennifer's fault. I initiated it and I am truly ashamed."

I guess he was waiting for the punch but when I said nothing and sat he reluctantly took his seat also. Just then the waiter appeared to take our drink order. Carol ordered a double Jack on the rocks and before Ted could speak she ordered him a Diet Coke. I ordered a scotch and soda but when I looked at Jen her eyes were focused on her napkin and she just shook her head and said: "nothing for me."

Nothing was said until the drinks arrived and before the waiter left she said: "Back us up with another, please, Out of ear shot of the steward and looking directly at me, added" "I think we'll need some extra fortification.

Except for Carol extolling the virtues of her day at the spa, no one else spoke throughout dinner.

Ted ate his meal unenthusiastically and Jen just pushed her food around, taking a few bites of her salad. After the plates were cleared Carol finally addressed the elephant in the room.

"Well, the offending parties, I'm sure, are duly contrite but frankly, Sorry! Doesn't cut it. I can see only one reasonable solution outside of divorce."

With that she stood up and approaching my chair put her hand under my arm and urged me to my feet. I wasn't sure what her game plan was so I stood waiting to see where this was heading. My confusion was soon dispelled when Carol calmly stated"

"I think a little 'tit for tat' is the solution here. Then looking at her husband she said in a menacing voice, and if you aren't in our cabin when I get back you can pack your shit and sleep in a life boat for the rest of the cruise."

With that said she guided me to the exit. When we got into the elevator with another older couple, I whispered: "What are we doing here, Carol?"

With a mysterious look on her face she placed both hands under her boobs and shaking them said:

"I know you've always admired my 'charms' so tonight your'e going to meet them up close and personal." With that she reached down and gave my package a gentle squeeze. When I glanced over at the couple riding with us the look of shock on the woman's face was priceless and I actually had to chuckle.

Of course, I now realized Carol's plan for revenge but when we exited the elevator on her deck there was a bar off to the right and grabbing her arm I maneuvered her in that direction. When she realized where we were going she said in an affected pouty voice:

Tommy, am I so unattractive that you need some liquid courage before taking me to bed?" The question was rhetorical because she continued without pause:

"I think they both need a little taste of their own medicine if we're going to get past this and I, for one, will not feel a bit guilty when I fuck your brains out. Adding coyly: "Of course if you don't find me sexy- - - - -well, I----

I interrupted her with a laugh and replied:

"Actually, my little head is twitching with excitement but my big head is telling me that if I do this there may be no way to possibly reconcile my marriage. But make no mistake turning down your offer is a VERY difficult decision and one that I hope I don't regret later on."

She leaned over and kissed me with an open mouth sucking my lower lip and briefly darting her tongue between my lips. Then with a sigh, she said"

"I guess you're right but listen stud, if you ever change your mind, remember that I have a 'get out of jail free' card." Then more seriously she added: I think we should stay here and get sloshed and let them stew in their own juices for a few days. What do you think?'

"Sounds like a plan, I said, clinking glasses.

******************************

After a couple of hours of commiserating and far too many drinks I made my way down to my cabin to find Jennifer in bed. She was feigning sleep but I could tell by her ragged breathing that she had been crying. Despite what she had done I felt like a cad. She was devastated by her own transgression and I was now compounding her misery with my own perceived foray into her best friend's bed. Then the image of my wife being fucked on this very bed pushed away my compassion and the hurt returned.

********************************

The next morning we docked at St. Martin and little was said between Jen and I other than the preparation for out scheduled catamaran and beach excursion. Thankfully Carol and Ted had booked a snorkeling tour and we did not see them as we disembarked. Although Jen tried to force a few smiles once in awhile I knew she was depressed and I caught her several times wiping a tear from her eye.

At the beach I claimed a couple of lounge chairs in the shade of a palm tree and went to the Tiki bar a got a My Tai for Jen and a beer for myself. Few words were exchanged but after the drinks were finished I asked her if she'd like to go in the water with me. Her heart obviously wasn't in it but she dutifully followed me in for a quick dip.

Back lying on the lounges we were both lost in out own thoughts. With typical Malle ego the only question that I hadn't asked was how big Ted's dick was. I knew with certainty that I would not exacerbate her turmoil by asking. Just as certainly I knew that I did not want a divorce because a one time, brief indiscretion that we would both regret, probably forever. My dilemma was when to put an end to this charade about Carol and I. I did get a perverse pleasure at punishing her but I knew that the longer I let it go on, the more difficult it would be to put this mess behind us.

I made my decision before we got back on the catamaran to return to the ship.

Jen was still subdued when we re boarded the ship. Instead of heading toward our cabin I guided us to the very bar where Carol and I had drank away our troubles, the night before. Jen was hesitant when I lead her inside and said in a dejected voice:

"Tom, I really don't feel up to a drink. Can we just go back to our room?"

Taking her by the arm and moving her to sit at a table in the near empty bar, I said:

"Honey, there are some things I need to say and I think we both could use a drink while I say them."

I couldn't help notice the look of dread on her face and knew that she was expecting impending doom, so I got right to it.

"Last night when I left the restaurant with Carol this is where we came and this is where we stayed. We never went to her room. She was looking for some revenge and she wanted - - - --, no, we both wanted to make you both feel some of our pain. The plan was to wait a few days and make you both suffer but I realized that doing that would just be more destructive, despite the temporary satisfaction it might provide."

I can't say that I am still not angry and hurt, I am. I can't say that I totally forgive you, not yet at least but I'm working on it. What I can say is that I still love you and I will do everything in my power to put this behind us.

Unfortunately, I'm human and worse, a man and the image of you and - - - - -, well, the thought of- - - - -, the thought of what happened is something that may take awhile to go away. I think we'll both have to work hard at it but it shouldn't be an insurmountable obstacle to our healing."