All Comments on 'The Note'

The story line is intriguing but you badly need someone to check grammar. Also did you use a predictive text programme because some of the words are just wrong for what you are trying to convey. It's a shame because those issues really hurt the story telling.

I just finished your work here. It's good. It's not sexy, but that will either come in it's own time or not; I don't care, it's a good story.

Recently I've noted on this site a trend of absolutely poisonous 'reviews' that criticize grammar, sentence structure, plot, absolutely anything and everything. The two common points they all have are, they are very, very condescending, and they are intended to discourage the author from further posting. I believe, although I'm guessing on this point, that they are Christian fundies spamming the site again. They've done this in the past.

Pay them no attention, because they aren't being honest: They don't care about the quality of your work, they just want you to stop, and they will post whatever they think they have to to achieve that. Don't fall for it.

with anonymous. Intriguing story concept. Watch the grammar and non sequiturs.

Enjoying the read but please get an editor, the numerous cock ups are a bit annoying and detract from the good storyline. Keep up the good work

It was differently my father you must mean definitely. Other spelling mistakes have not jarred too badly.

However, the boy has just awoken for the first time in 2 years. His father is letting him out immediately. It has all been arranged, his father has no other patients.....No way could that happen. he can drive straightaway? No way Jose. Not in Australia, not in the US. Please do not stretch credulity too far. I know all stories are fantasies but it would be nice If it the reader could at least pretend it is believable.

I suggest you do not publish any further episodes until you have found an editor.

I am using a different computer and I cannot remember my password so I am commenting anonymously.

Okay at this point is does not matter how good of a story it is, you have lost this reader.... Why, you might ask? It is simple, you did not tell the reader that this is a chapter story! That way people like myself, can know to wait until the story is done before wasting their time on unfinished work. Now, some people like flash chapter stories... and some don't. I am in the don't column. But then I have always been taught that you finish what you start. You haven't, or at least you didn't indicate if you have. So, it will not matter how good the story is, you have and will lose readers.

You see it is really east to let readers know this is a chapter story.

The Note 1

Two extra key strokes and you have notified everyone that this is an ongoing story.

Don't stop writing, but learn the moral of the story.

Rant over, good luck and keep up the good words

Myhands316

I don't know why i didn't add the "part" or "Chapter" in the title. i usually do and will update the post to include it shortly. Thank you a thousand times for catching that!

As for everyone and an editor, it's difficult to find one. I tried for two weeks before i posted this. if i can't find one, i can't find one and i move on.

But i do understand the grammar issue. How else is one supposed to grow as a writer, but write? So, i write and i get better with each adaption and alter of style.

Thank you, Anons and all who comment. And don't worry, no one, anon or otherwise, is gonna stop us from writing. It's who we are.

I definitely want to see this pan out, here's hoping you see this through to the end. I'll be reading.

Hope your planning on more. It's just getting interesting his Memory's are coming back. His sister's want to tell him but the Parent's are not allowing them too. but there are other's with out the Restriction's.

Fuck off, you twat. You're another one of those fuck-twits that can't handle criticism even when it's not directed at you.

As for Christian fundies spamming? HAHAHAHA!!! What a fucking bigoted asshole for even thinking that. That just shows where your head is.... up your ass.

I want to know how it ends!

Really like the concept you have started fleshing out, please continue. Look forward to reading the next chapter.

i may be slow, but near the end of page one, i realized that this was not going to resolve quickly... so the chapter issue was nearly obvious... as for the grammar and word choices (spelling?) no worse than many high scoring novels on these pages... i find the plot intriguing and unique... i hope you have direction and resolution, and are only waiting for reader responses... thanks for your efforts and i have put you on my "must read" list.... good job 5*

this is quite interesting so far. please keep it going

The overall plot is intriguing. It reads well. The grammar was a little off parents instead of patients. Still reads well. Don't let others discourage you please write more.

Very promising start to a story hope it is as good as choices which I think is one of the best stories that I have read on this site cannot wait for chapter 2 keep up the good work

Thanks for the read.

that doesn't know the difference between THEN AND THAN idiot...

Can hardly wait for the next chapter.

Good story but you need a proof reader to correct the grammatical errors. Looking forward to the next chapter

suspense. You have me curious, so it's a 5.

I have significant experience with coma patients, and their recovery and, often, consequent traumatic amnesia, and it's neither plausible nor medically excusable for a doctor to remove an amnesia or coma patient from the safety of the hospital minutes after they arouse; it's both usual and necessary for the patient to re-familiarize themselves with how the world works, or come to terms with the time-loss they will inevitably experience.

In general, the recovery from coma is a long-drawn out process, often encompassing months of slow changes as the mind repairs itself. Awakening from coma with amnesia often means that a persistent 'fugue' state results, where the patients tries to act out random and impulsive behaviors usually foreign to their nature or temperament and almost impossible to resist, which is why many coma/amnesia patients are restrained at night, to prevent them bowing to these impulses and possibly injuring themselves.

It takes several days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months for the fugue state to dissipate and normal patterns and memories to re-establish themselves, along with muscle-tone recovery and simple motor skills; for a long-term bedridden patient to simply 'spring' out of bed with no effect on their physiology is simply highly implausible, to say the least.

The storyline is good, and intriguing, true, your text does need editing, there are a few instances of word misuse here and there, but they're not major sins and the flow of the story is good and well paced, just a little factually flawed, and I would like to see where this story is going. 3 stars, which is still a 'like', so please do keep going.

Than is spelled with an A not an E dumb ass. Learn the fucking difference, but don't feel alone there are a LOT of writers who are stupid too.

The only reason this story has an ok rating is readers scored it before they knew it was almost 4 years incomplete with absolutely no idea what’s going on. At the rate of non progression this would need to be 6-8 chapters.

So ultra confusing. A story like this should give enough to entice you then dribble info in a way that keeps you entertained, looking for more and also not quite in the full picture. This story leads with nothing but confusion backs that up with no new info except sisters saying that he needs to know repeatedly.

When keeping someone in the dark don’t take them to a massive busy mall where everyone he is hiding from goes and a great mate owns a store. Are you for real?

So incomplete, good premise, poorly delivered, too stingy on the info handed out to make it readable.

If you can’t be bothered to finish a story then delete whatever you initially published. It’s an amateur site so things will happen and stories will be forgotten. So delete the incomplete ones.

1* fuck off.

The only reason this story has an ok rating is readers scored it before they knew it was almost 4 years incomplete with absolutely no idea what’s going on. At the rate of non progression this would need to be 6-8 chapters.

So ultra confusing. A story like this should give enough to entice you then dribble info in a way that keeps you entertained, looking for more and also not quite in the full picture. This story leads with nothing but confusion backs that up with no new info except sisters saying that he needs to know repeatedly.

When keeping someone in the dark don’t take them to a massive busy mall where everyone he is hiding from goes and a great mate owns a store. Are you for real?

So incomplete, good premise, poorly delivered, too stingy on the info handed out to make it readable.

If you can’t be bothered to finish a story then delete whatever you initially published. It’s an amateur site so things will happen and stories will be forgotten. So delete the incomplete ones.

1* fuck off.

Intriguing

5/5

Dwight stood outside the door with a sad smile on her lips and inclined his head in farewell as she led me through the halls of the hospital. """"" How does HE become a SHE? In the same paragraph it was a miracle, I guess.