All Comments on 'The Nuclear Family Pt. 01'

You're right, this isn't realistic at all. The husband is being way too nice.

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After finding out the appalling extent of their betrayal, he should be planning to take away the one thing his family all care about more than him... money.

Robbie should set up a competitor company, then steal all their clients and ruin the family business. It should be easy for him, as he was practically running the whole operation on his own anyway. He shouldn't stop turning the screws until they're all bankrupt and homeless, and the bastard baby has been taken away from his ex-wife by social workers.

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In Robbie's position, I wouldn't stop destroying Brad jnr's life until I'd hounded him into an early grave. That would be the final satisfying bit of revenge, to turn up to the funeral and taunt his parents and sister while they're grieving for the asshole.

Well I liked the story well enough and it is following the same story line on 3 other stories I have read.

Usually I don't complain about a story if I like it enough but tonight I am changing my ways. In MY opinion I believe you are making a mistake by dangling the release of the rest of the chapters at a weekly release. Your readers want to finish the damn story immediately and not have to wait around. Since you stated it was a FINISHED story then you should release it all at once or at the maximum release the other chapters daily to satisfy your readers hunger. With holding the chapters only leads to readers angst. While I generally like your stories I am done with you. Yeah I am just one reader so no loss to you. Just like the shitheads betraying the MC you have betrayed us the readers.GOODBYE

This certainly promises to be hot. And most likely more than a little messy as well regarding the tangled web of drama his POS ex-family keeps trying to ensnare him in. I can’t wait for part 2!

and I plan to submit a part each Sunday evening for the next four weeks

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Why? I can understand not submitting them all at once, but why wait a whole week as opposed to ASAP if indeed they are already written and ready to go?

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A bunch of us are just going to skip it until it is all posted

Nah I'll read this next month, as you've said this is going to span in a 4 part series so better read it all in one go next month

Great start 👏

You have developed some interesting characters fir this story and I can not wait to see where this one goes. I think the best part is wondering what Amy does for a living. Can’t wait to read the next chapter.

You're definitely on the right track here, but our hero needs to make good on his threat regardless of whether they leave him alone or not. You've created these almost cartoonishly vile characters, and so their punishment must be similarly over-the-top. Otherwise what was the point of making us hate them so much? They deserve nothing less than to have their world burn around them and be left to sift through the ashes knowing it was their own fault.

Why write a story about people who are terminally stupid?

this is a rip off a older story on here. Hate people that rewrite other people work and try and take credit. Shame on you other2other1 shame shame you fraud.

Outstanding. Can't wait to read the next installment!

Hurry Up Plz , need part 2 :)

On the one hand this is well written

On the other, is a carbon copy of another classic story here on litterotica with only a few tweaks here & there.

Hope you can break free from copying someone else's work in parts 2-4. Hopefully you didn't make the better looking, sexier, younger sister an amazingly successful rich designer.

This story is a repeat

Enjoyed this a great deal. Can't wait to read the next part. Thanks!!

Interesting start to your story. I look forward to the next chapters. Well done! 5*

Another great story about cheating wives

Great story can not wait for part 2

Did Brad fuck her ass while cum leaked out of her pussy?

You never mentioned it 🤣

Looking forward to part 2

6 am in the USA. loved it looking forward to part 2

Why? Why publish parts of a whole story at different times? I guess I'm the only one on here that has any common sense. Mr. Other when you read a book, does the chapters magically appear in said book at different times? Obviously not, so why do you and 99.9% of all the authors on here continue to make this glaring mistake of publishing chapters or parts at different times? It's absolutely pointless since there's no plausible reason.

A good start. Always enjoy your writing.

Unapologetic about the tropes and cliches so no issue with that.

I think the sister’s name is Kate in the original version ;)

I don't mind it being far removed from real life, my problem is that the dialog just comes across too repetitive, saying the same old thing in slightly different words each time. Doesn't help that this is far from the first time this story outline has been used here. Somehow stretching this out into a 4-part epic is going to be some task.

For the life of me I don't understand why any author, who professes to have a finished product, would insist on waiting a week between releases. By the time each chapter is released, the audience has already forgotten about the previous chapter and has to go back and read it again. No thanks.

A fun read, but I still maintain the author isn’t Australian based on the number of errors in the story. In Australia:

1. You don’t get the choice of whether to press charges or do a deal with an attacker. The Crown (eg the government) does. So an unprovoked attack in front of witnesses and cops means you are absolutely being charged.

2. Brad Jr’s hospital bills will be between $0 (using the public hospital system) and bugger all (say $1000 gap if he has health cover and wants a private room). So paying it is a matter for small claims court at worst.

Also, how the hell did this company get so big if the Dad (and founder) is so shit? Why not have him die in the backstory (say about 3 years ago) and just have the mum be a vacillating idiot who is dooming the company? Give her a dodgy new boyfriend if you really need a shithead in that household.

So, as I said, a fun read. I wouldn’t bother whinging if it was just shit.

Really enjoyed this because I love the genre... You are correct that the memes and story line has been used a bunch... This first installment is very similar to one of my all time Favorites "A Town Without Honor" by Texas Tall Tales... Looks like though your sill diverge significantly after this first installment into a widely different tale...similar to "Outback" by ultimate sin. Your outstanding writing on this first part has already put it also on my Favorites tab..

5 stars

Great start'! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The protagonist has told everybody how and why he has been betrayed more than enough times that even the thickest reader should get it by now. The family, with the collective IQ of a geriatric oyster, don't get it.

Yawn.

I few scant weeks from now, he will have destroyed them and their failing enterprise and we, the patient (long-suffering?) readers will

smile when the hero and Amy take over the company, force the family members into subservient rôles, and they all live happily and miserably ever after.

Yawn.

The author writes pretty well. The editors didn't clean up enough of the errors. The plot is not original, but we were warned it wouldn't be.

Wonderful. Nearly perfect word level showing that you do slow-proof your work.

I nearly missed out on this because of your over-long and useless preamble...just go ahead an TELL it.

Same for the after-post. Little chance I will happen to catch your next episode, and I don't much care if I do. Our hero will mate up with young Amy so more of the same won't be so full of hatred. Boring maybe.

Thanks for being the writer you are.

Ever hear about Saturday matinees at the movies when the audience (mostly kids) were invited back next week to find out if - pick one - the stage coach or rider got killed by running over a cliff? Or if the damsel got rescued from the train tracks? If not, how about this? “Same Bat time Same Bat channel” They were called cliffhangers. Well, no cliffhangers here. This author just puts his story at risk to the fleeting attention spans of the readers (me included) on this site. A few different descriptors in our hero’s catalogue of offenses during his frequent outbursts of righteous indignation wouldn’t hurt either.

One thing I really dislike about this is throwing "Woman ex machina" ok immediately. MC doesn't even have to do anything POOF and here he he's another women on a third page of a story

This would have been a lot more interesting without the incessant conversations that droned o and on, reiterating the same points over and over again.

Don’t bother with Part 2….

I've seen stories with a similar premise to this, and I'm curious about how you'll resolve yours.

Will the abandoned family finally have enough of Brad jr. and cut ties with him when hey finally realize that he's a liability as an employee or will they go down swinging and blaming Rob?

Will the baby turn out to have been his and the two cheaters misestimated the time of conception, and if so will Rob feel the need to step up as a dad(not husband to Georgia, that ship has sailed)?

I ask this cuz once Rob leaves to go to the states, I see no earthly reason besides maybe a hospital deathbed confession/pleading that will convince him to come back. While I will say that I am invested to see how things progress, I would very much welcome another Brad beating.

Another example of plagiarism from a relatively new writer. It's sad that guys like this think it's okay to use another's idea as their own. I gave it a 1 only because there's nothing lower.

nice story. bravo but it suffers from far too much redundancy to be a very good story.

You have repeated the same arguments 5 to 6 times in a single chapter.

(At one point, I even thought you had done some copy-pasting.)

This has, in my humble opinion, weighed down the text and made it more difficult to appreciate.

You need to find another way to convey the feelings of betrayal and pain through things other than repetition.

Thank you for sharing.

ps: I understood from the first time that his brother:

fucking your ass, in our bed, after dumping a load of his cum in your pregnant cunt, while hearing your sweet bedroom talk of you belittling me, and about how the child you led me to believe was mine.

🤣🤣🤣

Ripoff of another author and as poorly done as the rest of your crap.

Good first chapter.

Pretty good story but alot of repetitiveness. And not good enough to delay releases over time like this. Don't like to read a chapter a week

This certainly is a good story, no doubt. But: like in Double or Nothing you seem to run in circles and don't find the exit. Four chapters are perfectly alright when the plot calls for it. We'll see if that's the case here. For the repetitive rants I need to subtract 1*, hence 4*.

Great start! Thanks for the entertaining story. Looking forward to the remaining parts!

Fun stuff. Keep up the great work.

Thanks. Looking forward.

Why do you and others insist on releasing it over several weeks. All it does is reduce the chance of me bothering to come back.

Just post it all at once, in 4 chapters if you must, but if it's written already why the delay??

Great start. Let's see where this goes.

I think I already read this...

Is this story reposted?

Sorry I just skimmed the intro...

I’ve read this before. Is this a rewrite?

You know the commenters are right, right? I read part 1 in a little under 2 minutes and did not miss a bit of meat but I did ignore the dried out rice, carrots, and brocolli. Too bad, because I really enjoy a slghtly moderate amount of veggies. The synopsis for this story could be written in less than half a page. Character development is very important in a tale but once you develop it, leave it be! I don't need it rehashed over and over, I GET IT! Sometimes, less is more.

Great beginning! Looking forward to the rest of the chapters that are yet to come.

For those complaining because they have to wait for he next installment you must have Instant Gratification Syndrome, or IGS which is a debilitating disease characterized by emotional servitude to the Now.

Very similar to another story . I cant remember the name. You could have acknowledged it.

No need of so many parts. You should post them together.

Changed my view of this story after reading the comments. It does feel like other stories already submitted so I'll wait for the next few submissions to see if it was a copycat. Hopefully you will detour the next chapters from the others. 1* on Chapter one.

By the time you publish part four we will have forgotten the rest of the story. Better to post the parts a day or two apart.

So far this first part is awesome. Please keep the same energy of the story.. don't get to the final chapter and have him helping his family and all that nonsense.. this is a betrayal I don't see anyone getting over, forgiving or forgetting. How can you forgive any of that? This family is disgusting.. you don't treat your own family as less than. He needs to keep that same energy and have absolutely nothing to do with EITHER of them. Especially his parents. It's bad enough they knew for 3 yrs and told him nothing. But to not even care and is only upset he quit the business.. I'm almost 100% certain I would've became a family annihilator.. no jury would convict me once they find out the depth of their treachery... please please please don't have him forgiving anyone of these snakes.. these are not the type of people you call family.. these aren't the type of people you'd want in your life.. I love your writing..please don't take too long to post the other 3 chapters. I'm invested now🤭.... you make me feel the pain of the MC. which is why I am pisssedddd at this family. the way they all treated him made me want to jump through the screen and drag each and everyone of them, up and down the street with my size 6 1/2 up their asses. I just can't imagine family doing this shit to their blood. Just goes to show blood doesn't always mean anything.. sometimes water is thicker than blood.

Such a loving family 🤣

Very good but why wait to publish part 2 etc? If its written please publish ASAP. I can't see any logic in your plan.

The divorce won't be complete until the issues of alimony and paternity are settled. Now that the child has been born, that part should be clarified.

A decent horror family tale. I think it could be pared down, for example how many times do you need to repeat the he was fucking her ass while cum dripped out of her pussy line?

The other thing is why drop it once a week? It doesn't make people anticipate it more and it is better to read chapters when they are fresh. Reading a book a chapter a week doesn't work well,doesn't hear either.

Great storitelling. Awaiting the next chapter

Unusually many small infelicities?

What?

simply put

the parents (mother) have confirmed that his brother is the father, so the little doubt later makes little to no sense.

and the most important parts:

Jo had committed trespass and by pushing Toni aside also committed bodily harm. Given his agitated mood, he probably would have simply called the police instead of having this

(unless he wanted to stall her until the police arrived), he couldn't have gotten rid of her any easier and he didn't use it.

NEVER would Georgi be allowed into an interrogation room.... NEVER! "wife" or not!

Also, after the fifth time they howled about needing him, (again instead of a lengthy dialogue) he could have just ended it by saying, "But I don't need you"?

I'm a bit of a nitpicker because Other2other1's stories are always a pleasure to read and this one also has me itching to read the sequel- just maybe I'm a bit too nitpicky because I have such high expectations

No wonder it's 85,000 words. You repeated the same speech about 74 times in this one chapter.

Does this really need 4 parts? Unless it's a recociliation (which would be unbelievable), what is left to write about?

The next baby COULD be his? What kind of bastard turns down an offer like that?

I'm hooked. Love the little hints regarding things not yet brought to light. Also I believe the baby would be Brad the third.

GREAT start and looking forward to the next installment. I think it would be great if the Dad found out he had been unknowingly cucked as well and the oldest son wasn't his. I've already sold all my stock in their company...

I'm 99 44/100% sure I read a very, very similar multipart story on this site some time ago. At any rate, a good part one and I look forward to the remaining installments.

Enjoying it so far

The protagonist has told everybody how and why he has been betrayed more than enough times that even the thickest reader should get it by now. The family, with the collective IQ of a geriatric oyster, don't get it.

Yawn.

I few scant weeks from now, he will have destroyed them and their failing enterprise and we, the patient (long-suffering?) readers will

smile when the hero and Amy take over the company, force the family members into subservient rôles, and they all live happily and miserably ever after.

Yawn.

The author writes pretty well. The editors didn't clean up enough of the errors. The plot is not original, but we were warned it wouldn't be.

This has promise, but there are some undisclosed underpinnings that may be foreboding of reconciliation.

‘Specially considering another 3installments.

Moreover, the reading experience suffers when one must wait for another shoe.

FINISH THE DAMN STORY BEFORE SUBMITTING IT, IN FULL!!!'!!!!!

Obviously a bit cliched, however, you tell the story in a way that just captures your audience.

Great story, and I'm enjoying reading your stories as you continue with your career as an author.

Good writing. The plot is a bit simplistic. Super hero super good guy against super bad wife and family. It is your story and plot to write. I like a story with more complex characters. Most people are part good part bad and part in between. Your hero is so super he doesn’t need his former CIA / Special Forces buddies to help him. He will single-handedly wreak revenge and walk off into the sunset with the prettier younger ex-wife’s sister and live happily ever after while the wife and family sink into the depths of everlasting HELL. This is well deserved in your plot. As written I don’t care. Thanks.

Very good first chapter. Keep it up.

This was pure shit. Please don’t bother with part two.

Dude, why? Why did you blatantly rip off another story? Kiss of death on here.

I love it. 5 stars for you

As someone else mentioned, haven’t we seen this story before?

Great start can’t wait for the next 3 parts

Good pacing and character development...and the writing flows well. 5

Nevertheless, did you really need to do this?

"..courtesy of a flying roundhouse kick. But, of course, no one saw it coming except me. My older brother was lying there unconscious."

That's a circus move, something stupid that would play well in low budget martial arts movies or the latest John Wick film. Kicks, in general, are never a good opening because they are too slow, no matter how fast you are, because of the distance they have to travel. That particular kick is the least effective of all. If Brad, Jr., had been really old, blind, looking the other way, under the influence, or semi-comatose it could work. Under the circumstances, it's ridiculous and detracts from the story. Martial arts aren't "violence", which has no rules, and a street fight has no rules. You need to understand that someone untrained, but who has the mentality to commit true "violence" could very easily maim or kill a "martial artist". Street fights are potentially incredibly dangerous. IRL, that kick wouldn't have connected. Further, even guys like the MC who practice "sport fighting" would never consider leading with that move.

BTW, I recognize that this plot is very similar to another story here, but unlike some of the commenters, I think it's unlikely that you've read every story here or are deliberately tracking someone else's plot. If you are, don't do it again.

A good start. I enjoy your stories. You have a gift in writing.

Anony asked

so why do you and 99.9% of all the authors on here continue to make this glaring mistake of publishing chapters or parts at different times? It's absolutely pointless since there's no plausible reason

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The smart ones do it because most people wont read a 20 page story but they will read five four page stories

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The vain ones do it to see if people like their work before continuing the story

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The dumb ones do it because the dont understand why others do it

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The lazy ones do it because they cant be bothered to finish their own work in a timely manner

I, too, would wish that when you have the whole story written out, publish it. If you are still editing and refining, then a piecemeal publishing is understandable. This is very much like soul71's story, FYI (hence the comment "I think the sister's name is Kate in the original version"). Still, 5 stars and a request for speedier publishing of the remaining parts.

Is this a repost? I thought I have read this story before.

Even tho it's a similar plot line to so many other stories here, I still like reading it. But, why, why, WHY does the event need to be repeated and repeated and repeated, then told and retold and retold? Why hashed and rehashed and then rehashed?? How many times in the next 3 chapters are we going to have to sit thru it again? Not sure I can take it.

Personal not to the author: if you can comprehend the annoying redundancy here in my little comment, then please learn something from it.

AnOther excellent story. And there is more to come!

I also thoroughly enjoy the place names and slang; ute, Macca's, brekkie. "Would you like a beaa. Yea, get me a Tooey's New." I really like Australia.

My daughter, new granddaughter, and son in-law live in Nerang. Was just there again for three weeks in March and April. Been over twice since December '21. I love the Gold Coast but not a big fan of the beach currents.

Thanks from Virginia and please continue to write.

This is a remake of another story, not bad, but still a remake.

Yet you are doing a good job so far.

The plot is so farfetched I couldn't stop reading. Now, I see no other alternative than to read the other parts and finish the story. Seriously, a good story and I thank you for writing and the effort and time it takes to do it.

Excellent! As is the case with most of your stories. Looking forward to the next 3 parts Keep up the great work! 5 stars.

I liked the idea. The only problem is... I found myself having a hard time immersing to the story because the family is too stupid and cold-hearted.

Nevertheless, it was a good try. I'll also read the next ones. 3.5/5.

MC missed the golden opportunity of a lifetime. When Joanna pleaded for him to return, he should've said, "With conditions. I get 51% of the company, along with the chairmanship." Then, when the family refuses, you contact the company's creditors, suppliers and wholesale customers and make the offer. When Total Build fails, Robbie is the bank's and employees' savior. Then, once in charge, fire the family and watch then wither.

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Sadly, no man who wasn't obsessed with cuckoldry would throw the word around like Robbie does; he's almost like an arachnophobia. A normal man sees this level of betrayal not as a silly label but as an affront to his pride, his honor and sense of humanity. Worrying about being called what amounts to an online gamer insult grows tedious after a while. Think WWCED: What Would Clint Eastwood Do? He'd stop posturing and get even.

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Way too many speeches where MC says the same thing over and over and over and over.... okaaaaay we get it. Describe the repeated confrontations, perhaps delving into Robbie's evolving (?) mental state, but it's not necessary to almost copypasta the same convos repeatedly with the same result. It makes for tedious reading. The Gold Coast Mall confrontation was exactly that. As a reader, I found myself scanning it, looking for interesting material. When I got to the knock-out, I had to read about his martial arts prowess, which has been covered in depth before, and this just killed the impact (no pun) of the scene. Way, way too much repeated dialogue. The same rants in handcuffs. At the police station, he rants at Georgia, spilling the full litany of what he saw that night... However, the end of the convo with Georgia at the police station was almost perfect. Trust your readers to remember what you've shown us. Instruct your editors to EDIT and help fix this. I have the same problem when I write, so I use a real aggressive editor!

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It's a good series. I'm anxious to read it all, so don't publish it over several weeks. Honestly, as good of a story as it is, not that much of it will stay with the reader if you publish it every seven days. Seriously. All this writing runs together after a while. Publish it back-to-back so we can read its parts closer together. Thanks! 5/5!!

Great. Keep it coming. No WIMPS here.

Great job!! Some family eh! (Yup I’m Canadian)

Standard BTB and family stuff. Nothing new. Too repetitive. If you told one person, you told ten people how bad he feels, how no one is really sorry and how he was the camel's hump everything was built around. I think a truly angry man would have burned everything to the ground and moved one without a family member (Amy) weighing them down. It's a mistake to wait a week or more to submit story chapters. People have a short attention span and most will have moved on, forgotten chapter one, be unwilling to go back to refresh their memories and not read the following chapters.

Great one......need next part.

Thank you.

Mr. Other: thank you! You write a great tale! 5 stars from me.

Not that it matters, but I don't understand those that complain about using cliches. You DID tell them you were doing so, right at the start. Amazing: they were warned, yet they read and complained about it. I hope they will write unique Loving Wives tales - I would like to read those.

Good story, but I hate to wait to week for the next chapter. After a week, I won't remember this chapter. I don't have a problem with a long story, even if it is 100,000 words.

Rapidly becoming a top 5 contributor to the LW circus 😎

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This plot line has been done before, but the excellence of your wordcraft kept it fresh enough to enjoy. However: by the third time we had to endure the excuses from his family for their treachery AND his attempts at logical response…it got kinda old 🤗

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A couple small things bugged me: him not getting a job for what, 7 or 8 months while freeloading off his friends? Earning spending $$ by fighting? The lack of any insight into exactly WHEN & WHY his wife and brother got together — before or after his marriage? And of course….the requirement to make the story go that his parents, sister, brother, and wife all seemed to think he should have accepted the situation?

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But kudos for letting us know that the next 3 chapters are done and are going to be submitted in short order. Am guessing that his adventure(s) with Amy will consume most of the upcoming verbiage. (BTW — can’t help but think that Darren and Toni’s enthusiasm for him going with Amy was not, at least in part, to get the guy out of their house🥳)

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4 very strong ****

Glad you owned up to the cliche's. Why are you dragging this out a month if it is already written? Why not daily submissions? The delay seems a bit sadistic. As the first chapter is an almost verbatim rehash of several VERY similar stories the only interest at this point is in the burning of the assholes. It is hard to believe it will be a sufficient burning, but the promise of 3 chapters of burning is appealing given how vile you have made the protagonists. Well written to your normal excellent standards.

How can you possibly cram so little story into so many words? For example, the family's rationalization was told three times, and once was more than enough. I few sentences along the lines of "I got the same bullshit" would have cut several pages.

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Wow, the wife's sister is in love him. How could anyone NOT see that one coming?

Great so far. Can’t wait for part 2!

I really enjoyed reading that, now i have to wait for the next part.

Maybe i should have waited until all 4 parts were published and read it all in one go.

You're off to a good start. I did a quick check of the comments because I was sure people would be bitching this was exactly like another story and sure enough there they are. Yet they will continue to read it and bitching.

I do have to agree with several other commenters that dragging out the story too long is a bad idea. I just commented yesterday on Chapter 3 of a story where chapters 1 and 2 were written a month ago. I vaguely remembered what the story was about and I'm not going back to reread them. Stories need to be completed in a timely manner or your audience loses interest. Looking forward to Chapter 2.